Yesterday was a hard day for dh & BIL. They went to see their dad -- & then went with stepMIL to the funeral home/cemetery to begin pre-planning dad's funeral. :( When they came home, they picked up me & then SIL and we went out for dinner.
It was SIL who suggested we should go see "Christopher Robin." BIL rolled his eyes, lol. Dh was willing to do whatever we wanted. I wanted to go see it -- but I would have preferred to go just with dh -- because I KNEW I was going to cry. (As I mentioned in a recent post, Katie's nursery theme was to have been Classic Pooh, and I still have several Classic Pooh-themed items in our home, particularly in our bedroom.)
And I did cry. I sat between dh & SIL & cried through the entire opening sequence (young Christopher Robin leaves the Hundred Acre Wood to go to school, grows up and does not return), as well as other points throughout the movie. Not sure if SIL or BIL saw me crying -- and even if they did, I KNOW they did not make the connection as to WHY I might be crying (other than that I am an emotional sap, lol). Anyway, it was a cute albeit somewhat melancholy movie, beautifully filmed, & I'm glad we went -- although I think the adults in the audience probably got more out of it than the kids.
In the movie, Pooh calls "today" "my favourite day." Today, August 5th, 1998, was the day I went to my 6-month prenatal visit and heard the words no pregnant woman ever wants to hear. Two days later, August 7th, 1998, is the date I delivered my stillborn daughter, the "official" date that's on her niche marker and on all the paperwork. It's the date we'll officially mark, on Tuesday.
But 20 years ago today was actually the saddest day of my life -- the first of many awful days that were to follow as, one by one, my dreams crashed around me. August 5th, and 7th, will never be my favourite days.
"I always get to where I’m going by walking away from where I’ve been," says Pooh in the movie. After Tuesday, I will resume walking down this road less travelled to wherever it is that I'm going. But just for a few days, I will wallow a little in where I've been.
(Don't get me wrong, I haven't been sitting around by the Kleenex box all day. But I'm definitely feeling rather subdued. And glad that I don't have any reason to leave the house/condo today.)