tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post1142354991680555825..comments2024-03-26T08:06:19.661-04:00Comments on The Road Less Travelled: Facebook and the great parental disconnectloribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-73983887143288720632010-10-31T10:35:51.789-04:002010-10-31T10:35:51.789-04:00Julie's post had me rolling - I hadn't tru...Julie's post had me rolling - I hadn't truly 'belly laughed' like that in a long time. But it was one that, as you were laughing, you wondered if you should be crying instead.<br /><br />There is a huge disconnect. I think it is because parents who haven't been through IF/loss really CAN'T relate. Trying (and failing) to get pregnant for YEARS changes a person.<br /><br />I'm trying to say something and I can't quite spit it out. Something along the lines of when we start TTC, we all assume we'll get pregnant right away and we'll be mothers because that's our right as women. For the women that do get pregnant right away, they never have a reason to doubt that thought. Which makes them inherently different from the rest of us.<br /><br />When it comes to FB, I feel a little insensitive to my IF friends. I find myself only posting Skeeter-related updates because he is all consuming right now. And non-IF friends and family pester wanting to see more pics. Often, I feel like I have become one of 'them.'Jamiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11509124764568535676noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-60261414561153500282010-10-30T22:28:24.404-04:002010-10-30T22:28:24.404-04:00All those comments - I lived through 7 YEARS of th...All those comments - I lived through 7 YEARS of them. Ughhhh!<br /><br />I left a comment on J's post - so thankful FB wasn't around while I was in the trenches - and even when I did go on - all I saw were people using their kid's faces for their own accounts. Whatever. I still don't put my kid on FB, if they want to see him, they can come over.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-56109434500494186112010-10-30T00:03:04.063-04:002010-10-30T00:03:04.063-04:00what you and julie and mel and everyone else has s...what you and julie and mel and everyone else has said here - yep.one-hit_wonderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02392238740961497297noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-17304794398238821552010-10-29T20:00:38.709-04:002010-10-29T20:00:38.709-04:00I think our society glorifies having a family but ...I think our society glorifies having a family but doesn't provide individuals with the tools/skills/time/support (6 week leave??) to do it well.<br /><br />I love staying at home with Bea, but I think I would be truly miserable trying to work and have a baby - which is what women's lib supposedly 'gave' us and I spent years in higher ed to achieve.<br /><br />And thank goodness for FB- otherwise I wouldn't 'talk' to an adult most days! It's my watercooler....<br /><br />As for asinine comments - why do people have to 'answer' any kind of summation about the state of parenthood? It's not b&w - it's gray. Ups and downs, rewards and sacrifices. But like all things in life, challenging.<br /><br />off to read J's post...Ya Chunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08816837461370619194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-78823097532402095222010-10-29T10:26:51.380-04:002010-10-29T10:26:51.380-04:00wow. i have never thought about this in these term...wow. i have never thought about this in these terms, but you are absolutely right. the whole thing just makes me angry. i am enjoying your blog.Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13450929181331922606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-20940130292601172292010-10-29T10:02:59.330-04:002010-10-29T10:02:59.330-04:00My default is generally that people are idiots ......My default is generally that people are idiots ... But I am sort os misanthropic that way...<br /><br />I thought Julie's post was great and it had me reflecting on my own social media representation and cringing at myself!<br /><br />I have been thinking about how women are socialized to believe motherhood to be the be all and end all ... And I want to write about how social media is very often glossing over the profound sense of inadequacy and loss of self that some women feel . I guess I can only speak for myself but i know my fb posts don't give a real sense of my life.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-21568560742364176572010-10-29T09:45:44.370-04:002010-10-29T09:45:44.370-04:00I think there's a huge disconnect too... a fai...I think there's a huge disconnect too... a fair amount of closed mindedness (or people who are so blissed out at their own good fortune that they choose not to understand the suffering of others)... (*cough*) I would like to write them off as being idiots, but I think that an idiot is ignorant and not usually by choice. These people know that it's out there, and choose not to educate themselves or give a damn (I mean really give a damn, not say "oh that's too bad!" and change the subject)<br /><br />It's earlier and I'm not forming coherent thoughts... lol. But this is definitely something I've reflected on before, and have to keep reflecting on because it's apparently not going anywhere.AnotherDreamerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11487881766884178761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-11716497094703670362010-10-29T09:34:31.773-04:002010-10-29T09:34:31.773-04:00I loved loved loved Julie's post, but your mon...I loved loved loved Julie's post, but your monologue is pretty damn good -- and accurate -- too.<br /><br />I don't know if it's any one thing. I think some people backtrack to be polite. For instance, I got to go on a hayride this week. A few friends didn't get to go and asked how it was. I could tell they wished they had been able to make it, so I shrugged and said, "it was fun; you know, it's a hayride." But in my head, I'm thinking, "it was a freakin' hayride so it rocked! A hayride in the middle of a work day! I could have spent the entire week riding that damn contraption around." It wouldn't have helped to say it aloud.<br /><br />On the other hand, I think you also have a lot of unhappy people who realized that parenthood wasn't what they thought it would be and they're finally being honest after getting the societal message to hold back all of their frustrations with parenting. All those magazine covers -- they do more than make Iffers feel like shit. They make everyone feel like shit if your life doesn't resemble the ease and happiness of a photo spread.<br /><br />I think the fact that we're sent both messages -- babies are the best! and babies suck! -- is spot on.Lollipop Goldsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com