tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post3388281587340742143..comments2024-03-26T08:06:19.661-04:00Comments on The Road Less Travelled: Bagging my fears loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-76361041835993171792014-08-12T21:06:30.831-04:002014-08-12T21:06:30.831-04:00I struggle daily with similar fears Amel said abov...I struggle daily with similar fears Amel said above. My MIL and FIL, both in their 80s, moved into an assisted-living facility due to illness and dementia. My DH spends countless hours (willingly) to make sure their needs are being met and they feel happy. He checks in with them daily. Who will do that for us? The thought of it sends me into sobs. You can pay very nice, dedicated people to take care of you, but they will never truly care about you in the same way a child does. Maybe these are old scars talking. I wish someone had some words for me to help me see this in another way, and regain my sense of self. I am too sad to cope.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-24992346605786551782013-09-24T14:54:23.834-04:002013-09-24T14:54:23.834-04:00Interesting post. Yes, occasionally I worry about...Interesting post. Yes, occasionally I worry about our retirement - or not being able to retire, or find a job (a more immediate concern), or be able to afford the lifestyle we live now. Occasionally I worry that an earthquake will hit Wellington, where we own our only house and therefore have all our "wealth" invested. And yes, I worry a little that something might happen and we won't have funds, and the government will stop supporting the elderly, to ensure we can at least live a dignified life in our old age.<br /><br />I wonder if some of it is childless. I look at my sisters-in-law and know that they at least each have children they will be able to rely on should some disaster afflict them. But I think also some of it is age-related. As we get into our fifties, it is all too close and too possible!Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-87577819401335477052013-09-23T18:58:21.416-04:002013-09-23T18:58:21.416-04:00Hmmm... I don't worry particularly about pover...Hmmm... I don't worry particularly about poverty or living on the streets. I've lived it so it doesn't worry me much (when you're abused as a child, the street is often better then beatings from your mother). <br /><br />I don't look forward to going back there but it doesn't keep me up at night wondering because I know I can handle it. Though I will admit that I view shelters with more misgivings than the actual street. I have stories...<br /><br />Interesting question. I should see that movie.GeekChicnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-77189009097847209632013-09-23T05:26:34.166-04:002013-09-23T05:26:34.166-04:00Hmmm...where to start. I'm actually more afrai...Hmmm...where to start. I'm actually more afraid of being very sick and alone, in the care of a caregiver who doesn't care about me (a nurse in an old people's home), hubby has gone before me, and I have nobody else to fend for my rights and I'm in no condition to ask for anything anymore (so I'll just suffer in silence). Brrrr...that thought scares me so much that I'd rather not dwell on it...<br /><br />Maybe it has to do with how the social system works here (benefits for the poor), but I think it also has to do with how life can surprise you nicely when you least expect it. When I moved to Finland, I had to leave my job and everything behind and "start from scratch" = learn the language all over again before I can even think of finding a job. At that time, though, hubby was unemployed still. True, he did get some benefit from the government, but it was barely enough for the both of us. <br /><br />I remember taking all my savings with me and no matter how much I tried to scrimp our expenses each month, I couldn't help using my savings bit by bit. THANK GOD then he found a steady job not long after I moved and then I started going on a Finnish course and I got some benefit from there, so we managed to save money whenever I was on a course and doing some work practice.<br /><br />When we bought this house, I was in limbo again with no job in sight nor anything else possible and we were scared about the thought of paying the mortgage...but again THANK GOD I got a job not long after that and here we are now, a few years ahead...of course there's this lingering fear of losing our jobs and then what to do...but based on what has happened in the past, I'd rather cling to the belief that it'll work out somehow even when there doesn't seem to be a way out. May heaven help us...Amelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16792921371964029469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-47199190193275003832013-09-23T02:17:14.690-04:002013-09-23T02:17:14.690-04:00This speaks to me too. Even more so since A and I ...This speaks to me too. Even more so since A and I split up. As we were never married, A took my relative financial security away with him when he left. Even though I have a large extended family who I am sure won't let me end up homeless, in my increasingly more frequent dark moments, I panic about the park bench!Illanarehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05203774916178621215noreply@blogger.com