tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31783662145244558842024-03-18T16:57:11.054-04:00The Road Less TravelledLiving childless/free after loss & infertilityloribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comBlogger2404125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-53124696630801610022024-03-18T13:32:00.003-04:002024-03-18T13:32:56.452-04:00#MicroblogMondays: Sad things, annoying things & small pleasures <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirCCLOe0U1ibtZAH4I3LdbhbCh7AEwV4Bj_LKwGbqc_3ZapdZst-xoK6uLEglJJn6bvMjp3RbL-O4cZYAVELPHnOttyUoG01BY6XEHiYsQgrHmtAF401_1EAw-g-2N7UDD1mh00VuoUjU-ul7O6gmSMTwjoQyk6ZhwQS7VBesZ6jRjjgnKs4s1IkcVPWY/s175/Microblog_Mondays.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="175" data-original-width="175" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirCCLOe0U1ibtZAH4I3LdbhbCh7AEwV4Bj_LKwGbqc_3ZapdZst-xoK6uLEglJJn6bvMjp3RbL-O4cZYAVELPHnOttyUoG01BY6XEHiYsQgrHmtAF401_1EAw-g-2N7UDD1mh00VuoUjU-ul7O6gmSMTwjoQyk6ZhwQS7VBesZ6jRjjgnKs4s1IkcVPWY/w200-h200/Microblog_Mondays.png" width="200" /></a></div>Sad things: <p></p><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>My beloved uncle & godfather passed away recently, not long after his 81st birthday. He was my mom's younger brother and only sibling -- my only uncle on that side of the family. He'd just turned 81. His health had not been good in recent years and, as my cousin/his son told me when I messaged him, "he kind of ran out of gas." :( I hadn't seen him since summer 2016, but we've talked on the phone and I've kept up with him & his family through social media and through my mom, who spoke/speaks with them regularly. I am going to miss him. :( </li><ul><li>I told my mom I like to think he's joined my late grandparents and other family members (including my Katie, of course) at that big kitchen table in the sky (which looks suspiciously like my grandmother's old kitchen, only bigger), where the coffee pot is never empty and the laughter just keeps on going. :) ❤</li></ul></ul></div><p>Annoying things: </p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Waking up (<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2024/03/microblogmondays-its-spring-break-week.html" target="_blank">AGAIN</a> -- 4th time in two weeks) at about 7:15 a.m. to a tapping noise coming from the bathroom walls (or ceiling?). Dh went upstairs a while later and tapped on the door of the unit above ours, hoping to speak to the tenant (we know it's rented) and find out if she'd been in the shower or??? but no one answered the door. :( </li><ul><li>The property manager came by last week, notified the unit's owner and was able to go in and run some water through the pipes, and while we could hear the faint sounds of water running (as we sometimes do -- and that's to be expected, I think), we didn't hear any tapping/dripping noise this time. There's not much she can do until/unless we actually see signs of water damage. (And the ceiling of our shower cubicle is tiled, so it may be quite a while before anything shows up, if this is what's happening.) Sigh... </li></ul><li>Knowing that I need to tackle cleaning the shower cubicle again, soon...! (One of my least favourite chores! -- although I always appreciate how it looks when it's done!) </li><li>Certain politicians (on both sides of the border...!). :p </li><li>Unrelenting grey skies these past several months (including this morning). </li><ul><li>Small pleasure: The rare days when we see blue sky & sunshine! </li></ul><li>Not being able to think of something more original/interesting for a #MM blog post. ;) </li></ul><div>Small pleasures: </div><p></p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Spending a full day last week with Little Great-Nephew, who was on <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2024/03/microblogmondays-its-spring-break-week.html" target="_blank">spring break</a> from junior kindergarten. Exhausting, but so much fun! :) </li><li>Seeing BIL in a good mood, and more like himself than he has been in a very long time. :) </li><ul><li>Knowing that he & SIL had a nice holiday with his & dh's cousin and her husband in the Caribbean. :) </li></ul><li>A trip down Yonge Street in Toronto last week, from the 407 to our optometrist's office midtown. The traffic can be miserable (and it wasn't great), but it was a gorgeous day outside (18C!! -- I left my jacket in the car for the short walk from the parking lot to the office), we had the windows rolled part way down, and it was fun/interesting to see all the changes that had taken place even just since our last trip along the same route a few months ago. </li><ul><li>(Annoying/sad thing: SO. MANY. CONDO BUILDINGS!! going up!! = entire blocks of stores and other small businesses being demolished...!) </li><li>No significant changes in my vision since my last visit! :) </li></ul><li>Taking Easter/spring decorations to the cemetery for Katie's niche. </li><ul><li>Driving around our old community afterwards (to kill time before an appointment nearby). We didn't go past our old house, but we did drive down some streets we hadn't been on in quite a while. </li></ul><li>Easter chocolate. :) I bought some for Little Great-Nephew's Easter goodie bag (Little Great-Niece is still too little for candy) -- and some for us to nibble on too. Both Lindor milk chocolate eggs, and Cadbury mini-eggs. :) </li><li>The prospect of lunch with an old friend later this week. She messaged me on the weekend that she'll be in town and did we have time to get together on Thursday? </li><ul><li>Annoying thing: I responded yes, proposed lunch and a place to eat -- and still haven't heard back from her. :p </li></ul><li>Looking at my cellphone wallpaper: a photo from Little Great-Niece's recent first birthday party, of her sitting on the couch beside Little Great-Nephew (her cousin), who is playing a game on his tablet and studiously trying to ignore her (lol!!) as she leans over to see what he's doing. I think it's one of my favourite photos I've ever taken. </li><li>Trying a new recipe for dinner last night: <a href="https://bellyfull.net/chicken-tetrazzini-recipe/" target="_blank">easy chicken tetrazzini</a> (using Campbell's soup for the sauce!). Very gooey and very rich (definitely NOT low-cal!!), but pretty good! :) (Lots of leftovers too!) </li><li>The first day of spring is tomorrow!! </li></ul><div><i>You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts <a href="https://www.stirrup-queens.com/2024/03/microblog-monday-481-one-more-game/" target="_blank">here</a>. </i></div><p></p>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-27906779734691048442024-03-17T14:06:00.001-04:002024-03-17T14:06:19.780-04:00"Things I Don't Want to Know" by Deborah Levy <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifk7f-urPhZ7qK5GvVPq9Z3du5GkjZT298dZD_LpxDstvBWpxCDM1vfgfxHbePmlYkSAJekg6i-nJlFfiLLZWwqFFW_p9zXO5JJBh3MNy34AM46R9ful6SYVPJ1nG5XaGs7WEcDkZmLO9HgIprs_24HWGxspPAn4mmVOSpzohI1VmxQyXTTnNYKOZa3C8/s500/Things%20I%20Don't.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="333" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifk7f-urPhZ7qK5GvVPq9Z3du5GkjZT298dZD_LpxDstvBWpxCDM1vfgfxHbePmlYkSAJekg6i-nJlFfiLLZWwqFFW_p9zXO5JJBh3MNy34AM46R9ful6SYVPJ1nG5XaGs7WEcDkZmLO9HgIprs_24HWGxspPAn4mmVOSpzohI1VmxQyXTTnNYKOZa3C8/w266-h400/Things%20I%20Don't.jpg" width="266" /></a></div><p></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Since I'm (cough!) already behind pace on my Goodreads goal for the year, I thought I'd try a shorter book for a change, since the ones I've been reading lately have been pretty long ones, both book club/readalong selections and my own picks. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">"</span><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40673352-things-i-don-t-want-to-know" style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;" target="_blank">Things I Don't Want to Know: A Living Autobiography</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">" by Deborah Levy is</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">, in hardcover, just 163 well-spaced pages with generous margins and a large type size (also easy on my aging eyes, lol). </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"> </span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">I don't remember how I learned about Levy's "Living Autobiography" trilogy -- I probably read a review of it somewhere -- and then I saw all three volumes at the local bookstore and was captivated by the bold cover designs. Eventually, I bought all three, and they've remained on my bookshelf since then (until now). (Books 2 & 3 in the trilogy are </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">"</span><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/38240640-the-cost-of-living" target="_blank">The Cost of Living</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">" and "</span><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55256089-real-estate" target="_blank">Real Estate</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">.") </span></p><p><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="background-color: white;">I'll admit the first chapter had me wondering just what was going on here. It starts with Levy crying on escalators in train stations, which leads to a solo getaway trip to Majorca, where Levy encounters Maria, the single, childless proprietor of the hotel she's staying at, remembers a 1988 trip to Poland, and winds up chatting in a bar with a Chinese shopkeeper acquaintance. </span></span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">But when I got into chapter 2 -- in which the author recounts memories of her childhood in South Africa, during the 1960s (i.e., the era of apartheid), it got much more interesting -- and I started seeing certain themes being repeated and developed, as Levy discovers her voice, as a young woman and as a writer. </span></p><p><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="background-color: white;">The writing throughout is absorbing, and the reason why I'm rounding up my 3.5 star rating on StoryGraph to 4 stars on Goodreads. </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"> </span></p><p><b>ALI note</b>: I was under the impression that Levy was childless (not sure why?) -- but she mentions her son early on, followed by a fairly lengthy passage about the lives of mothers and motherhood generally. </p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">This was Book #8 read to date in 2024 (and Book #2 finished in March), bringing me to 18% of my 2024 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 1 book behind schedule to meet my goal. :) You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2024 tagged as "<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/2024%20books" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">2024 books</a>." </i></span></p>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-57443649818169603782024-03-15T17:09:00.001-04:002024-03-15T17:13:31.335-04:00Lots of odds & ends! <p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>The nightly CBC television newscast, "The National," had a lengthy feature report on Feb. 27th about IVF in Canada and the barriers some people face in getting treatment (financial, geographic, etc.). It focused on one woman, currently on her 7th cycle, who has already spent more than $100,000 (Canadian) and regularly drives four hours (one way) from Sudbury to a clinic in Markham, outside of Toronto (and then another four hours back home again). (I remember chatting with a woman from Sudbury in the waiting room at my own RE's office when I was going through fertility treatments, 20+ years ago!) </li><ul><li>I don't know if the video is available to view outside of Canada, but <a href="https://www.cbc.ca/player/play/2312560195588" target="_blank">here's the link</a>! </li></ul><li>The province of British Columbia recently announced it will join several other Canadian provinces by funding one cycle of IVF, beginning in April 2025. <a href="https://www.theglobeandmail.com/gift/14414514760de7002fa4a7c3ecb17e5a327efa46ac65ddf0139aab87dcda62a2/M6SIUACZYZADHI37A6IT5ALRSY/" target="_blank">The Globe & Mail featured</a> a B.C. couple who estimate they spent $80,000 on 16 cycles of IUI and IVF, four of which ended in miscarriage, before their son was finally born in 2018. (Gift link.) Quote: </li></ul><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>Ms. Santos called B.C.’s announcement “incredible news,” and said it would have made a world of difference to her family had their first IVF cycle been covered.</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>“If we had had funding, that would have taken so much stress off at a time when everyone says all you should focus on is not stressing,” she said. Her husband could have come home [from working a higher-paying job in northern Alberta], she added. “We would have had more opportunity to work on our mental health, to not feel so guilty to take a day off if we needed it. It would have been invaluable to have that peace of mind.”</div></div></blockquote></blockquote><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>On Medium, this post made me want to stand up and cheer: "<a href="https://medium.com/bitchy/we-must-stop-telling-women-they-should-conceive-and-give-birth-naturally-3202d40be80b" target="_blank">We Must Stop Telling Women They Should Conceive and Give Birth 'Naturally</a>.' ” (Subhead: "Medical interventions aren’t just for men, y’know".) It may be behind a paywall :p but here's an excerpt: </li></ul><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>According to some delightful people out there, women who can’t conceive need to just accept that it’s “God’s will” they remain child-free.</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>In their words, IVF isn’t natural, so we shouldn’t be doing it.</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>OK Steve, let’s see how well you fare without medical intervention the next time you need an operation. No anesthetic or scrubbed-up surgeon for you, my friend....</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><div>We’re happy to accept modern comforts, science and medicine in almost every other part of our lives. No one thinks it’s weird to live with electricity or a car or to receive anesthesia during a vasectomy.</div></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><div><br /></div></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><div>Which leads to just one conclusion.</div></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><div><br /></div></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><div>The rhetoric about “natural” childbirth and conception isn’t pro-nature.</div></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><div><br /></div></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><div>It’s anti-women.</div></div></div></blockquote></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;">I found this bit somewhat shocking (and depressing): </p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p>...whilst the perception of IVF has improved in recent years, there are still devastating stats about what some people think of IVF babies.</p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p>A recent study revealed that 41% of people think IVF babies are “normal but not natural.”</p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p>Twenty-two percent do not think IVF babies are legitimate.</p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p>And even more shocking, 13.5% of respondents do not think IVF babies should be welcomed by society.</p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p>The Vatican (which represents 1.3 billion Catholics across the world) doesn’t accept assisted reproduction, and now — whether this was their intention or not — neither does the state of Alabama.</p></blockquote></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p>And there's this: </p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p>I don’t need people to tell me I’m an infertile failure</p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p>I already think that myself.</p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p>And it’s not just online trolls or Republican politicians that make me — and women like me — feel like this.</p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p>It’s society as a whole.</p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p>Not only do we live in a pronatalist world, we live in a pronatalist world where we are expected to a) quickly get pregnant, b) love pregnancy and c) have a natural birth.</p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p>And as someone struggling with fertility, I’m told I’m not natural. Because if you’re natural, you’re fertile, right?</p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p>This messaging comes from everywhere.... </p></blockquote></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;">One comment read: "'Have more babies.' 'No not like that.' " Touchez! </p></blockquote><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>I only just heard about this book -- I have not read it (yet?) -- but the Washington Post just gave it <a href="https://wapo.st/48M5Wmv" target="_blank">a glowing</a><a href="https://wapo.st/48M5Wmv" target="_blank"> review</a> (and there are also some great reviews on <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/126918628-relinquished?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=6MeUbM1OWg&rank=1" target="_blank">Goodreads</a>): "<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/126918628-relinquished?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=6MeUbM1OWg&rank=1" target="_blank">Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood</a>" by Gretchen Sisson. The Post says it presents "a troubling picture of a lopsided adoption industry, in which aspiring parents spend thousands looking for adoptable infants while people in crisis pregnancies struggle to pay rent." </li></ul><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">Sisson’s analysis gently coaxes the scales from our eyes. If adoption is a heartwarming practice, why are birth mothers wracked with feelings of grief and betrayal that do not abate over time? If every aspiring parent deserves a baby to love, who are we willing to exploit to meet that demand?</div></blockquote></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;">...This book may be a tough read, especially for current or aspiring adoptive parents. It feels much better to rescue an unwanted baby than to take one from a mother who would parent if she could only afford a car seat. But, as Sisson writes, if adoption is intended to meet the needs of children and not the “dreams of would-be parents,” then adoptive parents’ feelings can’t drive the future of adoption. </p></blockquote></blockquote><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Also on the topic of adoption: a great article (with a first-person perspective) from the Atlantic: "<a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/03/secret-adoptions-right-to-know/677677/?gift=azusxyDxDF4QjSkeyXgcQYzK95oZ0lEEAF92BVL9iZ8&utm_source=copy-link&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=share" target="_blank">No One's Children: America’s long history of secret adoption</a>." (Gift link, accessible for 14 days.) </li><li>Related: a fabulous, must-read post from Mali at No Kidding in NZ: "<a href="https://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.com/2024/03/no-kidding-voices-count.html" target="_blank">No Kidding Voices Count</a>" -- when it comes to adoption, as well as other aspects of the adoption/loss/infertility experience. Excerpt (and key message): </li></ul><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: left;">Why should we feel that our comments on a process that did not work for us should be disparaged as “bitter” or “sour grapes” compared to those who are considered the “success” stories? Answer = we shouldn’t. Our views are just as valid, and perhaps more so, because we are evidence that the processes are not infallible, that they don’t work for everyone, and in many cases, they don’t work for the majority. Everyone needs to understand why that is. Our voices count, and should be heard. </div></blockquote></blockquote><div style="text-align: left;"><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Mali's post didn't specifically mention the recent court ruling in Alabama that has virtually shut down IVF treatments in that state, but I was thinking about Alabama when she said: </li></ul></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;">It’s not a contradiction to both be pleased that there are paths to parenthood for the infertile, and to want to ensure these paths take care of those prospective parents during and after this process, as well as act in the best interests of the children who may emerge from this. That’s not sour grapes. It is in fact much more holistic. </blockquote></blockquote><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Also re: the Alabama ruling: Pamela's <a href="https://www.silentsorority.com/" target="_blank">Silent Sorority blog/website</a> is currently under renovation, but she's still advocating for fertility industry reform and patient rights, including recent opinion pieces <a href="https://www.bostonglobe.com/2024/02/26/opinion/ivf-alabama-lawsuit-frozen-embryos/" target="_blank">in the Boston Globe</a> and <a href="https://www.newsweek.com/we-must-protect-ivf-protect-patients-too-opinion-1877038" target="_blank">Newsweek</a> specifically related to the events in Alabama. </li><li><a href="https://findingadifferentpath.blogspot.com/2024/03/ivf-terminology-in-media.html" target="_blank">Jess recently posted</a> about how the Alabama case has resulted in increased interest in/media coverage of IVF. Unfortunately, the coverage demonstrates that people (still!!) aren't using the correct terminology when discussing the process. (No wonder there are so many misconceptions....!) </li><ul><li>Mel highlighted Jess's post on <a href="https://www.stirrup-queens.com/2024/03/978th-friday-blog-roundup/" target="_blank">today's Friday Blog Roundup</a>, pointing out that she wrote the New York Times about "implant" vs "transfer" ....back in <b>2009</b>! The NYT responded that they understood, BUT "we made the conscious decision to use the word implant. The average reader doesn’t understand what a ‘transfer’ is.” "...[So] frustrating that I was writing the NYT in 2009 about this, and it’s now 2024, and <i>nothing</i> has changed," she says. :( Grrrrrrr indeed. </li></ul><li>In her Substack "<a href="https://helendavenportpeace.substack.com/" target="_blank">The Antidote</a>," Helen Davenport-Peace ponders "<a href="https://helendavenportpeace.substack.com/p/the-anatomy-of-an-announcement" target="_blank">The anatomy of an announcement: Pregnancies that aren't ours, but theirs</a>." </li><li><a href="https://henricopeland.substack.com/p/reflections-on-disenfranchised-grief" target="_blank">Henri Copeland</a> eloquently reflects on the very different reactions she and her family are getting after the loss of her father, versus the lack of support she's had for her grief as a childless woman. </li><li>At "<a href="https://sarapetersen.substack.com/" target="_blank">In Pursuit of Clean Countertops,</a>" Sara Petersen spoke with <a href="https://lyzlenz.com/" target="_blank">Lyz Lenz</a> of "<a href="https://lyz.substack.com/" target="_blank">Men Yell At Me</a>" about her new book (about divorce), "<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/157981711-this-american-ex-wife?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=4zORTdbeam&rank=1" target="_blank">This American Ex-Wife</a>." Unfortunately, it's behind a subscriber paywall, but I wanted to share a couple of particularly brilliant passages that I thought had some application to women without children (even though both Lyz & Sara are mothers)(<b>boldfaced emphasis the author's</b>): </li></ul><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div>...even if you're not going to get divorced, we have to stop thinking of parenting as this all-encompassing thing because children will leave you one day! You being okay can’t be predicated on them being okay. At some point, they won’t be okay. And you have to find a way to be a person in the midst of all of that....</div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><br /></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div>...<b>if our senses of selves and wellbeing is no longer dependent on relationships like motherhood and wifehood (because life is long and complicated and full of tragedy, we could live happier lives.</b> </div></blockquote></blockquote><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>There was some great commentary on the recent State of the Union address in the U.S. -- and, in particular, on the Republican response provided by Senator Katie Britt. Lyz Lenz dubbed her "<a href="https://lyz.substack.com/p/some-aunt-lydia-bs-right-here" target="_blank">Dingus of the Week</a>," lol. I also liked <a href="https://wapo.st/3Tpuhu6" target="_blank">Monica Hesse's take</a> in the Washington Post -- although I do wish she had taken her rhetoric one step further and made the leap from "moms aren't a monolith" to "not all women are moms" -- sigh....</li><ul><li>I particularly wanted to note Jill Filipovic's take on <a href="https://jill.substack.com/" target="_blank">her Substack</a>, titled "<a href="https://jill.substack.com/p/the-two-americas-of-the-state-of" target="_blank">The Two Americas of the State of Union</a>." Unfortunately, I think it's behind a subscriber paywall... fortunately, I am a subscriber ;) and I can share this especially relevant excerpt with you: </li></ul></ul><p></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p></p></blockquote></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div>The word “mom,” by the way, shows up in Britt’s speech more times than the word “women.” This is despite the fact that more than half of American women do not have children, and roughly one in six reach the end of their childbearing years without having them. Many women who are mothers also do not see motherhood as their sole defining characteristic. “Woman” and “mother” are not identical categories. And yet the Republican Party talks to us as if they are — or as if they should be...</div></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote><p> </p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div>The message from Britt and the GOP was clear: All women are or should be mothers; women and mothers should be fearful of the big scary world around them; and they should probably stay in the kitchen.</div></blockquote></blockquote></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p></p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p></p></blockquote></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p></p></blockquote></blockquote><p></p>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-83573580375540333042024-03-14T18:58:00.000-04:002024-03-14T18:58:40.951-04:00Four years (!) <p></p><p>Four (!) years ago this week, the World Health Organization declared the rapidly spreading covid-19 virus to be a global pandemic. (I meant to post this earlier, but <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2024/03/microblogmondays-its-spring-break-week.html" target="_blank">it's been a pretty wild week</a>...!) </p><p>There's been lots of commentary in the media & elsewhere online, marking four years of the pandemic. <span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Katie Hawkins-Gaar at the Substack "<a href="https://mysweetdumbbrain.substack.com/" target="_blank">My Sweet Dumb Brain</a>" posted "</span><span style="color: #222222;"><a href="https://mysweetdumbbrain.substack.com/p/throwback-blame-the-anniversary-effect" target="_blank">Throwback: Blame the anniversary effect</a>." (Subhead: "I</span><span style="color: #222222;">t’s been four years. Things are still weird." Yep. :p ) </span></p><p>On the other hand, in "<a href="https://www.stirrup-queens.com/2024/03/four-years-of-covid/" target="_blank">Four Years of Covid</a>," Mel at <a href="https://www.stirrup-queens.com/" target="_blank">Stirrup Queens</a> remembered how she couldn't find soap in the early days of the pandemic: "We still mask. We still carry hand sanitizer in our pockets. We’ve had many vaccinations. But we travel again. We see friends. We go to parties and eat outdoors. It’s a good life; not as carefree as it was four years ago, but so much better than the beginning when I dreamed about soap." </p><p><span style="color: #222222;">As I commented to Mel, "I think the worst part is how divisive these past four years have been. I feel like so many people have amnesia about just how bad it all was — and still is! It’s still very much of a threat to our collective and individual health and well being, but it feels like our governments (and corporations) are determined to move us all along (“nothing to see here”) and have us believing it’s over (it’s not) and that it’s no more serious than a bad cold or the flu (maybe, but maybe not). Sigh." </span></p><p><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="background-color: white;">To that point, <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2024/03/01/health/cdc-covid-isolation-recommendations/index.html" target="_blank">the CDC recently revised its covid isolation guidelines</a>, shortening the recommended isolation period to just two days instead of the previous five. The CDC said this will bring them in line </span></span><span style="color: #222222;">with its advice for other kinds of respiratory infections, including influenza and RSV. </span></p><p><span style="color: #222222;"><span style="background-color: white;">Not everyone thinks this is a good thing (including me!). </span></span><span style="color: #222222;">"<a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2024/02/covid-anniversary-flu-isolation-cdc/677588/?gift=azusxyDxDF4QjSkeyXgcQVbe7y7IpfmgEkyYo5TpFHk&utm_source=copy-link&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=share" target="_blank">Why Are We Still Flu-ifying COVID? </a></span><span style="color: #222222;"><a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2024/02/covid-anniversary-flu-isolation-cdc/677588/?gift=azusxyDxDF4QjSkeyXgcQVbe7y7IpfmgEkyYo5TpFHk&utm_source=copy-link&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=share" target="_blank">The diseases are nowhere near the same</a>," </span><span style="color: #222222;">Katherine J. Wu wrote in the Atlantic. (Gift link; available for 14 days.) Excerpt: </span></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p><span style="color: #222222;">...COVID and the flu are nowhere near the same. SARS-CoV-2 still spikes in non-winter seasons and simmers throughout the rest of the year. In 2023, COVID hospitalized more than 900,000 Americans and killed 75,000; the worst flu season of the past decade hospitalized 200,000 fewer people and resulted in 23,000 fewer deaths. A recent CDC survey reported that more than 5 percent of American adults are currently experiencing long COVID, which cannot be fully prevented by vaccination or treatment, and for which there is no cure. Plus, scientists simply understand much less about the coronavirus than flu viruses. Its patterns of spread, its evolution, and the durability of our immunity against it all may continue to change.</span></p><p><span style="color: #222222;">And yet, the CDC and White House continue to fold COVID in with other long-standing seasonal respiratory infections. When the nation’s authorities start to match the precautions taken against COVID with those for flu, RSV, or common colds, it implies “that the risks are the same,” Saskia Popescu, an epidemiologist at the University of Maryland, told me. Some of those decisions are “not completely unreasonable,” says Costi Sifri, the director of hospital epidemiology at UVA Health, especially on a case-by-case basis. But taken together, they show how bent America has been on treating COVID as a run-of-the-mill disease—making it impossible to manage the illness whose devastation has defined the 2020s.</span></p></blockquote><p><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">Meanwhile, the vaccine hesitancy that has flourished these past few years has extended beyond covid vaccines. Measles, which was declared eradicated in Canada 20 years ago, is sadly making a comeback, with increasing numbers of cases. I was thankful that Little Great-Nephew got his shot yesterday. </span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">(I don't remember whether I had measles as a child? I do remember that my sister & I got shots for "red measles" in the late 1960s/early 1970s -- probably one of the early measles vaccines available. I had my family doctor test me when I first started trying to conceive, and apparently I am immune to rubella?) </span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #222222;">Last year at this time, I wrote a post called "</span><span style="color: #222222;"><a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2023/03/three-years-plus-odds-ends.html" target="_blank">THREE YEARS -- plus odds & ends</a>." </span><span style="color: #222222;"> In 2022, I posted about "</span><a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2022/03/two-years-of-pandemic-living.html" style="color: #249fa3; font-family: inherit; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Two years of pandemic living</a><span style="color: #222222;">," and what was good/better and what wasn't.</span><span style="color: #222222;"> </span><a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2021/03/the-last-normal-day-one-year-later.html" style="color: #249fa3; font-family: inherit; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">In 2021, I relived March 12, 2020</a><span style="color: #222222;"> -- i.e., what I called "The Last Normal Day" -- one year later. </span><span style="color: black;">These and all my other past pandemic-related posts </span><a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/COVID-19%20pandemic" style="font-family: inherit;" target="_blank">here</a><span style="color: black;">, tagged "</span><a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/COVID-19%20pandemic" style="font-family: inherit;" target="_blank">COVID-19 pandemic</a><span style="color: black;">." </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">As I said last year, "</span>And so onward we muddle" -- now into YEAR 5 (!). (Sigh...) </p>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-77942480489738279152024-03-13T18:44:00.004-04:002024-03-13T18:44:48.173-04:00Childless Collective Summit -- in person! (Are you going?) <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaBlW-uaddaksjYuuoQVAmSKeqId7tdNLcHJzkwfH6_dDOmijj3d9b8PTjINzmrhp8v-fqBzFay-mwwdQOqFIlsVqL_Dw_L0R-li9LzufL2ANyRad1sgKrs2ATlYeF3C9eEW8bmbBdErtuQQzNL7aFghEMFxSubMY1zq5gLJ-09Uat134yarnjGvxPO5w/s1080/Katy's%20Summit%201.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1080" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaBlW-uaddaksjYuuoQVAmSKeqId7tdNLcHJzkwfH6_dDOmijj3d9b8PTjINzmrhp8v-fqBzFay-mwwdQOqFIlsVqL_Dw_L0R-li9LzufL2ANyRad1sgKrs2ATlYeF3C9eEW8bmbBdErtuQQzNL7aFghEMFxSubMY1zq5gLJ-09Uat134yarnjGvxPO5w/w400-h400/Katy's%20Summit%201.png" width="400" /></a></div>When was the last time you were in a room with 100+ (or even 6 -- 10 -- 20??) other childless women -- for a few hours, let alone an entire weekend?? <p></p><p>I'm guessing the answer would be "never." (Whereas groups of mothers... but hey, I digress...) </p><p>If you've ever thought about how cool that would be -- <a href="https://childlesscollective.com/2024-summit/" target="_blank">here is your opportunity</a>! </p><p>If you've been reading my blog for a while, you might remember me raving about three online/virtual summits that Katy at <a href="https://members.childlesscollective.com/about" target="_blank">Childless Collective</a> has organized for our childless not by choice community over the past few years, which brought together more than 8,500 attendees and 100 + speakers in total.</p><p>Now, Katy (whose previous job included event planning) has put together another summit for childless women (and men!) -- <b>in person</b>! It's coming up soon -- the weekend of Friday, April 12th through Sunday, April 14th -- in the coastal city of Charleston, South Carolina (consistently voted best city in the U.S. by readers of Condé Nast Traveler and Travel + Leisure).</p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Earlybird pricing (savings of USD$50) ends March 15th (Friday!)</b>. Your ticket includes: </span></p><ul style="text-align: left;" type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>April 12th & 13th, Camden Room, downtown Charleston</b>: interactive sessions, opportunities to connect
with other attendees, and an exciting lineup of speakers, including keynote speaker Jody Day, Alisha Saavedra, Tanya Hubbard, Angela L. Harris, Stacey Brown,
Carrie Hauskens, Katy Seppi and Melissa Jones. Read the bios of all the
speakers <a href="https://childlesscollective.com/2024-summit/" target="_blank">here</a>. </span>The summit sessions are designed to support you in:</li><ul><li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;">Building friendships with others who are childless.</li><li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;">Learning to identify and amplify your greatest strengths.</li><li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;">Recognizing your value and worth.</li><li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;">Identifying new avenues to meaning and joy.</li><li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;">Feeling seen and validated in your childless experience.</li><li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;">Finding inspiring examples of rich and full lives without kids.</li></ul><li><b style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;">Sunday April 14th: Beach day!</b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: inherit;"> Katy has rented a private pavilion
that overlooks the beautiful Atlantic Ocean shoreline known as “the Edge of America”. There's no agenda: just a chance to enjoy the
scenery, eat (Katy's hired a food truck!) and spend time together with new friends. </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Access to a private online community</b> (hosted on Mighty Networks) from now until the end of April. Here you can meet
other attendees before the event, stay up to date with event details, and access a travel guide with recommendations for making the most of your
trip.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="color: #333333; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; tab-stops: list 36.0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><strong>The Earlybird price of USD$550 closes on Friday March
15th</strong>; after that tickets will be
USD$600. Price includes all 3 days of the Summit (including the Sunday
beach party, for which transportation is provided!) and lunch each day,
including a food truck at the beach. Payment plans are available to spread
the cost.<o:p></o:p></span></li>
</ul><div><span style="color: #333333;">(Tickets do NOT include flights/transportation to & from Charleston, or accommodation.) </span></div><p><a href="https://childlesscollective.com/2024-summit/" target="_blank">Learn more and get your ticket here</a>! </p><p>Even if you can't attend, you can gift the cost of a ticket so that someone else can go (who otherwise wouldn't be able to)! <a href="https://childlesscollective.com/sponsor/" target="_blank">Details here</a>. </p><p>And a Summit Replay Pass will be made available and can be purchased separately, even if you can't attend the conference in person. (Details on that to come.) You won't have the fun of hanging out on a beach with some other awesome childless women, but you will be able to listen in to all the main presentations. </p><p>This is a great (rare!) opportunity -- and one that may not be repeated for quite a while, if ever. As you might imagine, organizing an event like this a LOT of work and VERY expensive -- and Katy is doing ALL the work and has assumed ALL the expenses herself. (There aren't a whole lot of corporations eager to jump in and sponsor an event for childless women -- even though many of us have a lot more disposable income than parents do!) She's hoping to sell enough tickets to cover her costs. </p><p>(<b>Personal note</b>: Unfortunately, I won't be attending, for a variety of reasons. :( But I'm looking forward to purchasing one of the replay passes, and I can't wait to see the stories & photos from those of you who do go!) </p>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-24335425769651430582024-03-12T17:18:00.000-04:002024-03-12T17:18:09.545-04:00#MicroblogMondays: It's spring break week...<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8Z3-ynLliWJZtZGitNZoTk1iowiBwn2jLgCNUqJ1r1s2792fE8b9bzDR-h_i4Dw0vZSq-E9rrC_Fzg2fBvGlaGLESQs4UvcZWABWtcuh6DB5JxgTpGjHWhrTHaxRrg7aJLJ3aYz3qn0_5l4p1UyuaILzuk0IiwBBKcw4Ldd28_bmuCLWtckRgSjK6Ww4/s175/Microblog_Mondays.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="175" data-original-width="175" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8Z3-ynLliWJZtZGitNZoTk1iowiBwn2jLgCNUqJ1r1s2792fE8b9bzDR-h_i4Dw0vZSq-E9rrC_Fzg2fBvGlaGLESQs4UvcZWABWtcuh6DB5JxgTpGjHWhrTHaxRrg7aJLJ3aYz3qn0_5l4p1UyuaILzuk0IiwBBKcw4Ldd28_bmuCLWtckRgSjK6Ww4/w200-h200/Microblog_Mondays.png" width="200" /></a></div><p></p><p>...and who needs kids to be busy?? (Hence, this post is coming to you on Tuesday instead of Monday...!) </p><p>After a long and mostly boring/inactive winter, things started ramping up around here, mid/late last week. Here's what happened then, and how the rest of this week is unfolding: </p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>(Last) Wednesday (March 6th): </b> I was in the bedroom around 8 a.m. -- dh had been up but was snoozing again on the couch -- when I heard a loud tapping/dripping noise coming from the bathroom. I checked out all the taps and pipes, but I could not see any water. It sounded like it was coming from inside the wall, behind the shower or toilet. It only lasted a few minutes, gradually slowing down/tapering off and stopping. I was going to mention it to dh but forgot about it, until...</li><li><b>Thursday: </b>7 a.m., and we were both sound asleep -- when a loud tapping/dripping noise woke us both up. Dh sat bolt upright in bed and said, "Where's that coming from?" We went into the bathroom. Same thing as yesterday. I grabbed my phone, turned it on and started filming. Nothing to see, of course, but my thought was to record the sound and send it to our property manager.</li><ul><li>Of course the file was too big to send and I had no clue how to edit it down to a more manageable size, but I did message her anyway, describing what we'd both heard. She said she'd come check it out -- but the earliest she was available was Monday (!) and we were going to be out -- so we wound up agreeing on Wednesday (!). Meanwhile, she told us to keep an eye out for leaks. She can't call the plumbing contractors unless there's water visible. (Lovely...) </li><ul><li>(Wouldn't you know, we haven't heard the noise since then??)(Knocking wood...!) </li></ul><li>Thursday is our usual laundry day, so we got up and got a load started. Later in the morning, we were folding clothes in the bedroom, when dh pointed out to me that the curtain rod was hanging at a peculiar angle: the left-side bracket that holds the rod up was starting to pull out of the wall. </li><ul><li>Unfortunately, the right-side bracket had done the same thing a few years ago...! We got out a stool and screwdriver and attempted to tighten things up (on both sides), but things had loosened up too much. I didn't want to take it down totally, because there are streetlights below shining into our room; plus I'd feel like I was on display to the townhouses behind us. So there it hangs, like the proverbial Sword of Damocles, less than three feet away from the bed (MY side of the bed, I might add...!). </li><li>We'd actually bought these curtains (relatively cheaply) and put up them up, in the second bedroom/office as well as our bedroom, as a temporary measure when we first moved in... almost (cough!) EIGHT YEARS AGO. And we'd talked about upgrading and other options -- but then the pandemic came along and... well, you know...! Well, no time like the present, right?? </li><li>I went online and looked up <a href="https://www.blindstogo.com/en" target="_blank">Blinds To Go</a>, which has a local outlet. They offer a "<a href="https://www.blindstogo.com/en/athome" target="_blank">shop at home</a>" service with a consultant as well as the option of professional installation. And I was able to book an appointment with a consultant for the following afternoon! </li></ul></ul><li><b>Friday: </b>We set the alarm clock, got up at 7 a.m. and had breakfast and coffee/tea, and got to work doing the usual weekly housecleaning, several hours earlier than normal. Showered, had lunch and were ready for the consultant's visit at 1 p.m. </li><ul><li>She arrived with a suitcase full of samples and swatches for us to look at, and was very nice and helpful. We decided on fabric vertical blinds for all three windows. They HAD to be white or off-white, as per the bylaws of our condo association, so we picked something that was textured and off-white (with flecks of a taupe-y brown running through it). She took measurements, gave us an estimate (which, while expensive enough, was a lot less than we'd expected, even before the 25% sale price was factored in), took a 50% deposit from us, and set up an appointment with a installer to come in and do exact measurements. We have a pretty busy week ahead, but luckily, she was able to book us something for the following day. </li></ul><li><b>Saturday: </b>Our appointment time frame was 9-12 noon, so once again we set our alarm clock for 7 a.m. The guy finalizing the measurements arrived at 11:15 a.m. and was in and out in about 5 minutes. (We're still waiting for the final estimate, after which we can give the go-ahead to have the blinds made. Normally, it would take about a week, but the fabric we chose for our blinds is on back order, so delivery and then installation will likely be around March 20th -- which is still pretty good!) </li><ul><li>I sat in on a Zoom chat with some other childless women, some of whom were facing Mothering Sunday/Mother's Day in the U.K. </li></ul><li><b>Sunday: </b>We were pretty tired, and (no) thanks to the time change, we didn't get up until 9:30 a.m. (!)(erk!). I had breakfast, showered, dh made brunch (scrambled eggs and toast), and then I spent a two-hour shift co-hosting a Mothering Sunday/UK Mother's Day text chat in the <a href="https://members.childlesscollective.com/feed" target="_blank">Childless Collective private community</a> where I'm a member. That ended around 3 p.m. I made my usual weekly Sunday phone call to my parents and also talked to my sister, who was there for the weekend. Helped dh get dinner in the oven, and then started getting ready for... </li><ul><li><a href="https://abc.com/shows/oscars?cid=from_oscars_dotcom" target="_blank">The Oscars</a>!! -- which, this year, started an hour earlier than it usually does, at 7 p.m. </li><ul><li>In between dinner and 7, I hunted up and printed off a ballot online to mark up as the show progressed -- something I've done since I was a kid -- albeit back then, I used one clipped from the newspaper!</li><li>I thought it was one of the better shows in recent memory and, amazingly enough, it ENDED ON TIME (a few minutes early, even!). That was a good thing, because the earlier start time meant the show also ended an hour earlier than is usually does -- i.e., 10:30 p.m. instead of 11:30 p.m. or midnight. (Past Oscars-related posts <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/Oscars" target="_blank">here</a>.) </li><li>When I was working, I used to sometimes take the Monday after the Oscars off, so that I could sleep in (vs getting up before 5 a.m. to get to work for 8 a.m.). I've been retired for almost 10 years, but believe it or not, I had to set the alarm for 5 a.m. the next day (which was, of course, 4 a.m. before the time changed...!) because... </li></ul></ul><li><b>Yesterday/Monday</b>: ...we had to be at BIL's house by 7 a.m. to spend the day with Little Great-Nephew, who is (of course) on spring break. Older Nephew dropped the little guy off at around 7:15 a.m., and returned to pick him up around 4:15. He is really good and no real trouble at all -- but he's 4, and very active! so we were (and still are! lol) both EXHAUSTED! </li><ul><li>We were looking after him because BIL & SIL were wrapping up a well-deserved week on a sunny beach in the Caribbean with one of dh & BIL's cousins and her husband. (But we went to their house, since LGN is comfortable there and has lots of toys there, etc. -- more space too!) Later that evening, we headed to the airport to pick them up. (We were among the very few people waiting in the arrivals area and returning from trips who were wearing masks.) They'll be looking after LGN tomorrow, Wednesday & Thursday. (His mom has Fridays off.) </li></ul><li><b>Today/Tuesday</b>: We slept in until 9:30 a.m. (again!!). (If we hadn't gotten up when we did, we would have had a pretty rude awakening about an hour later -- monthly test of the building's fire alarm system! lol) Dh went to get some groceries and some takeout soups for lunch, and then we headed over to BIL's to see LGN (again) and find out more about how their trip went. We were all pretty tired, though, so we didn't stay long (much to LGN's displeasure). We probably won't see him again until Eastertime, because.... </li><li><b>Wednesday/Tomorrow</b>: We're setting the alarm clock again: our property manager will be coming by sometime in the morning (before noon) to check out the noises from the bathroom (a full WEEK after we first heard them!). We told her we could do the morning, but not the afternoon, because...</li><ul><li>...we will be heading into the city for our annual checkups with our longtime optometrist. We normally ask for a mid-morning appointment to avoid rush-hour traffic, but his assistant was able to schedule us on an earlier date because someone cancelled. Here's hoping traffic will be lighter than usual (because everyone is spending break week in Mexico or Florida, etc., lol...) -- and that my eyes continue to be healthy (after <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2022/07/i-wear-my-sunglasses-at-night.html" target="_blank">my surgery two summers ago</a>). </li></ul><li><b>Thursday</b>: Our usual laundry day -- but we'll have to finish up by lunchtime or later in the afternoon/evening, because in the early afternoon we will be heading.... </li><ul><li>...back to our old community: I have an appointment with our family doctor -- a follow up visit re: a red patch (rosacea? eczema?) on my left cheek (mentioned <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2024/03/right-now.html" target="_blank">here</a>). It's much better than it was when I saw another doctor at the same clinic on Feb. 22nd -- much less red/rough/inflamed and no longer itchy -- but it's still there, still somewhat noticeable, and taking its sweet time to disappear. :p (Very annoying.) </li><li>On our way there or back, we'll stop off at the cemetery with some Easter decorations for Katie's niche. </li><li>And on our way back, we'll probably stop off at the drugstore: I'm in need of a few items. </li></ul><li><b>Friday:</b> Dh will be setting the alarm: we need new tires for our car (8 years old, almost 70,000 km on it), and BIL has arranged a good deal for him with a guy he knows. He & dh will be going there around 8 a.m. Meanwhile, it's our regular housecleaning day, so I'll get started on that and do as much as I can myself until he gets back.</li></ul><p></p><p>How is YOUR week shaping up? </p><p><i>You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts <a href="https://www.stirrup-queens.com/2024/03/microblog-monday-480-reader-in-residence/" target="_blank">here</a>. </i></p>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-67978841641629458462024-03-08T16:17:00.001-05:002024-03-08T16:17:34.855-05:00It's International WOMEN's Day <p>-- i.e., it's not International Mother's Day. Too often, unfortunately, marketing, media, social media posts and special events for this day tend to centre on mothers and motherhood-related topics, versus issues that affect ALL women. (And they're often the same issues!) </p><p>This may be truer than ever this year, if you live in the U.K.: it's also Mothering Sunday/Mother's Day there this weekend. Yikes, what a double whammy...! </p><p>I've found a couple of great pieces this week focused on childless women and IWD. Don't miss Jody Day's post on the World Childless Week website, "<a href="https://worldchildlessweek.net/blog2/its-called-international-womens-day" target="_blank">It’s Called International Women’s Day, Not International Mother’s Day!</a>" Sample excerpt: </p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p>The last few years, it’s felt more and more like ‘International Mothers Day’, and whilst I celebrate women who are mothers, and appreciate that our society is still far from comprehensive in its support for the tasks of motherhood, I often feel that because women without children don’t need that kind of support, it’s presumed that we don’t need any kind of support at all. Having been writing and advocating on this issue for thirteen years, it still feels like childless people live in an imaginative blackspot for mainstream ‘hard-working families.’ (Please note the ironic use of quotation marks!) </p><p>...On International Women’s Day, let’s celebrate mothers, but let’s recognise that they are more than their reproductive identity, they are women first. And we are more than our childlessness too. </p></blockquote><p>I'd also love to draw your attention to a couple of pieces from Medium on this subject. Unfortunately, most Medium pieces are paywalled :p but if you can find a workaround, they're worth reading! </p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Berenice Smith of the Full Stop Podcast has two pieces this week on the IWD/Mother's Day theme: </li><ul><li>"<a href="https://medium.com/@berenice_fullstop/international-womens-day-not-mother-s-day-28139bbd3e3d" target="_blank">International Women’s Day, not Mother’s Day</a>" (hmmm, I sense a theme here! lol). </li><li> "<a href="https://medium.com/@berenice_fullstop/were-not-inspiring-inclusion-this-iwd-we-re-accelerating-progress-44d4048f376d" target="_blank">We’re not inspiring inclusion this IWD, we’re accelerating progress</a>." </li></ul><li>And I absolutely loved this one from Ali Smith, who is childfree by choice. IWD is only mentioned at the end, but it's very much in the spirit of what we're talking about here: "<a href="https://medium.com/bitchy/why-cant-a-woman-just-be-a-woman-89e876154912" target="_blank">Why Can’t a Woman Just Be a Woman?</a>" (Subhead: "A woman’s worth should never be dictated by her relationship and reproductive status.") Excerpt: </li></ul><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>You are more than your relationship and reproductive status</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>I know many people do this, so I mean no offence. But when I see women fill their bios with “wife” and/or “mum,” I feel a little sad.</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>Because the Patriarchy has peddled the message that the value of a woman is inextricably linked to who she is to others.</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>And yes, men may complete their bios with “husband” and/or “father”, but it’s not as prevalent. Take a look for yourself.</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>We’ve subconsciously lapped this up.</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>All around me, women jump at the opportunity to fill their bio in with their relationship status and then their reproductive status. An exclamation to the world: “Look, I’m loveable. I’m relevant to someone. I’m chosen. I’m doing what is expected of me. I’m not flawed.”</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>We claim our “wife” and “mum” titles as accolades, life flexes, and badges of honour. And by this very notion, we silently suggest that being single and not having children is associated with inadequacy and a lack of love and, by comparison, is less than.</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>Sure, be proud of being a wife and mum, but I encourage you to ask what message you are trying to convey by including it in your bio. Does it define you? </div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div> </div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>...On International Women’s Day, my wish for all women is that you know your worth.</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>Whether you are single or in a relationship — no matter what that looks like to you — I hope you are happy.</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>Stand tall as a woman. That is enough. You don’t need to prove yourself by leaning on what nouns you can claim.</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>Yes, we are all daughters. Some of us may be sisters, nieces, aunts, wives and mothers. But the familial link between you and others doesn’t dictate your worth as an individual.</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>First and foremost, you are a woman. And that is enough in itself.</div></div></blockquote></blockquote><div><br /></div><div>(<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/International%20Women%27s%20Day" target="_blank">Past IWD-related posts here</a>.) </div><p></p>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-39509048479815885892024-03-06T21:50:00.002-05:002024-03-06T21:50:56.276-05:00"My Effin' Life" by Geddy Lee <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaU7EIP3y48Ky4fTtr5tPLZpgRknrp2P5EqA2itiE9TcD5k5rMYjdoCKyo68UYpBJSTSwqhktU7DcPGgTNioPsbm4FOjf0WF5iq8ehllS_zlkRxBvpAs6APzVu6JmQlx0HrSRNq9FLzsB4CQnMZs8Tp23WXwgmoCQzyvsuzc-iRO3iapbs6c5aKTyiMMQ/s2200/My%20Effin'%20Life.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2200" data-original-width="1449" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaU7EIP3y48Ky4fTtr5tPLZpgRknrp2P5EqA2itiE9TcD5k5rMYjdoCKyo68UYpBJSTSwqhktU7DcPGgTNioPsbm4FOjf0WF5iq8ehllS_zlkRxBvpAs6APzVu6JmQlx0HrSRNq9FLzsB4CQnMZs8Tp23WXwgmoCQzyvsuzc-iRO3iapbs6c5aKTyiMMQ/w264-h400/My%20Effin'%20Life.jpg" width="264" /></a></div>I was never an especially huge fan of the band <a href="https://www.rush.com/" target="_blank">Rush</a>. I never saw them in concert, never owned one of their albums. My musical tastes ran/run more to straight-up rock & roll and the New Wave sounds of my youth than prog-rock. <div><br /></div><div>But I didn't DISlike them either. Growing up Canadian in the 1970s and 80s, it was impossible to ignore them. Their music was all over the airwaves, and lead singer <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geddy_Lee" target="_blank">Geddy Lee</a>'s distinctive nasal, high-pitched yelp of a voice was immediately identifiable. ("How did the band decide that HE should be the lead singer?? Did he have the best voice??" dh has often laughed.) </div><div><br /></div><div>So many of their songs are instantly recognizable to me (even if I don't always know the exact title!). I remember one of their early hits, "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RIJsQsdgiw" target="_blank">In the Mood</a>," being played at my junior high sock hops, and I did like that song, as well as "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHGEwMgnOnk" target="_blank">Closer to the Heart</a>." "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QsXhH93QAs" target="_blank">Tom Sawyer</a>" is, of course, a drumming tour de force by the late, great <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neil_Peart" target="_blank">Neil Peart</a> (who tragically lost both his young adult daughter in a car accident in 1997, and then his wife/her mother to cancer, less than a year later, right around the same time I was dealing with the loss of my own daughter).</div><div><br /></div><div>One of my very favourite Rush songs is "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5_rwkCGKN4" target="_blank">Lakeside Park</a>," which Peart wrote about a lakeside park in his hometown of St. Catharines. I especially love the song's wistful second half (which kicks in around the 2:25 mark) -- the lyrics always remind me of trips to the beach (in my case, Delta Beach, Lake Manitoba) with my high school friends: </div><div><p></p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p>Everyone would gather on the 24th of May*</p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p>Sitting in the sand to watch the fireworks display</p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p>Dancing fires on the beach, singing songs together</p></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p>Though it's just a memory, some memories last forever</p></blockquote></blockquote><p><span style="font-size: x-small;">*"24th of May" = the traditional date for our <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victoria_Day" target="_blank">Victoria Day</a> holiday, which apparently is only celebrated in Canada. These days, it's celebrated on the third Monday of May, to give us all a long weekend.</span> </p><p>As I said, I never owned a Rush album -- but I DID have the album containing Geddy Lee's highest-charting song ever (with or without Rush) -- "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-bAMoZtzy0" target="_blank">Take Off</a>" from the iconic 1981 Canadian comedy album "<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Great_White_North_(album)" target="_blank">Great White North</a>" by <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_and_Doug_McKenzie" target="_blank">Bob & Doug McKenzie</a> (aka <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rick_Moranis" target="_blank">Rick Moranis</a> -- Lee's elementary school classmate! -- and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Thomas_(actor)" target="_blank">Dave Thomas</a>, from <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_City_Television" target="_blank">SCTV</a>. ("Ten bucks is ten bucks," lol.)(You had to be there...!)</p><p>(Lee also went to junior high school with future NHL hockey player <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Shutt" target="_blank">Steve Shutt</a> who, he says, "saved my kosher bacon" from bullies -- and introduced him to a guy named Aleksandar Živojinović -- better known these days as Alex Lifeson. Another friend from high school: Oscar Peterson Jr., son of the famous pianist, who served as best man at Lee's wedding.)</p><p>So -- long story short -- I've developed a certain affection for these guys over the years -- and when I heard that Lee was writing a memoir, I was interested in reading it. Titled "<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/64416337-my-effin-life" target="_blank">My Effin' Life</a>" (lol), it was written with the help of <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Richler" target="_blank">Daniel Richler</a> (journalist and stepson of famous Canadian novelist <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mordecai_Richler" target="_blank">Mordecai Richler</a>) and released last fall. </p><p>Lee, now a 70-year-old grandfather (!), was born Gershon Eliezer Weinrib, named for HIS grandfather, who died in the Holocaust. His Anglicized name was Gary, but his mother's Yiddish accent made it sound like "Geddy" -- a friend overheard her, and the nickname stuck. </p><p>Both of Lee's parents were Polish Jews and Holocaust survivors, who met in Auschwitz (!), reunited after the war, married (in what had been the officers' mess hall at Bergen-Belsen) and came to Canada in 1948. There's a long chapter detailing their harrowing wartime experiences, as well as the trip that Lee, his mother Mary (Manya) and his siblings took, years later, to Auschwitz and other places in Poland connected to their family. He calls himself a proud cultural Jew, although an atheist in terms of religious beliefs. </p><p>The sudden death of his father Morris (Moishe) in 1965, when Lee was just 12, was a turning point in his life. His mother went to work to keep the family business afloat (a variety store in Newmarket, north of Toronto), leaving Lee at loose ends as he entered his teen years. Music became his refuge. He grew his hair long, dropped out of high school, started Rush with a couple of school friends, including Alex Lifeson, and hooked up with a non-Jewish girlfriend, Nancy Young (whose brother Lindy was in an early incarnation of the band, and who later became a fashion designer and Yorkville boutique owner). They've been married since 1976 (albeit the relationship has not been without its ups and downs, which Lee details in the book). </p><p>I expected to like this book. I wound up absolutely loving it. I'm not sure how much of the writing is actually Lee and how much Richler, but oh, the stories!! And they're accompanied by a generous selection of priceless photos (both candid and professional) and images. Lee has a wonderfully wry voice and self-deprecating (very Canadian!) sense of humour, and I literally found myself laughing out loud -- frequently. I read much of the book with a smile on my face. </p><p>Which is not to say it was all laughs. The Holocaust chapter, the multiple tragedies that befell Neil Peart, the deaths of one dear friend/family member after another, especially in later years -- and, finally, the end of the band itself -- were difficult to read about. There's a sense of grief and loss that pervades those last few chapters -- but also the reflection, perspective and gratitude that comes with time.</p><p>I have a couple of small quibbles/caveats. First, the footnotes in my Kobo e-copy were marked by asterisks -- you clicked on the asterisk (touched it on the e-reader screen) and the footnote would pop up. But you had to hit the asterisk with your finger EXACTLY right. (And there were a LOT of asterisks -- 137!! -- and they were all worth reading, once you could get them to open up...!) </p><p>Second, Rush apparently has developed a personal language of expressions, terminology and nicknames, used by Lee throughout the book. For example, Lee, Lifeson and Peart call each other Dirk, Lerxst and Pratt (??!). There are other nicknames for others in their circle, and it was hard to remember sometimes who was who (and what their real names were!).</p><p>And while I loved all the photos that were included, I wish the images had been larger.</p><p>Also -- I'm not sure what American readers will make of all the Canadian/Toronto references (musicians and band names such as Murray McLauchlan, Downchild Blues Band and Max Webster, as well as geographic and cultural references -- e.g., CanCon rules, or Rochdale College, anyone??). Personally (even though I never set foot in Toronto until 1983), I lapped them up. As a Canadian, it's (still!) not often we get to see ourselves reflected in a popular culture that's so heavily dominated by the U.S.! </p><p>But as I said, small quibbles. Overall, this is an effin' great read. :) </p><p>4.5 stars, enthusiastically rounded up to 5. (Current average rating of 4.64 stars on Goodreads, based on 560 reviews to date.) </p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">This was Book #7 read to date in 2024 (and Book #1 finished in March), bringing me to 16% of my 2024 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 1 book behind schedule to meet my goal. :) You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2024 tagged as "<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/2024%20books" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">2024 books</a>." </i></span></p></div>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-91620434229516224122024-03-04T22:27:00.000-05:002024-03-04T22:27:09.767-05:00#MicroblogMondays: The song that's stuck in my head right now :) <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin1bs3i1joSz-EyCCJ_VVvoa5uzT_gFgwE5mlf7WElEBLqgcb1yZTknNmOzLYIi1XLaRmRICSPhI5aSum5XRSdZjLEnQZNTqTCCK2F-g3bQpHKPmhKXQoYZpPXTJPzSBAWHN834Zdqzxow60YKOYNF4RZY7nOwvlpQy0YwwcYz7VGSNhzTMgoOJuo8s8c/s175/Microblog_Mondays.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="175" data-original-width="175" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin1bs3i1joSz-EyCCJ_VVvoa5uzT_gFgwE5mlf7WElEBLqgcb1yZTknNmOzLYIi1XLaRmRICSPhI5aSum5XRSdZjLEnQZNTqTCCK2F-g3bQpHKPmhKXQoYZpPXTJPzSBAWHN834Zdqzxow60YKOYNF4RZY7nOwvlpQy0YwwcYz7VGSNhzTMgoOJuo8s8c/w200-h200/Microblog_Mondays.png" width="200" /></a></div>I instantly recognized today's <a href="https://90s.heardledecades.com/" target="_blank">90s Heardle</a>, got it on the first guess from a two-second snippet of the opening. :) And I haven't been able to get it out of my brain since then...! (I HAD to look up the whole song on YouTube, lol.) <div><br /></div><div>I do get "earworms" quite frequently -- lately, they've been Rush songs, as I'm reading <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/64416337-my-effin-life" target="_blank">Geddy Lee's memoir</a>, lol -- but I think this song is one of the all-time greats/most infectious. :) <div><br /></div><div>Here's a fun live version (from the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Live_8" target="_blank">Live 8</a> concert in Edinburgh in 2005) with a whole stadium full of people singing along. :) <br /><div><br /></div><div>(You're welcome! lol)</div><div><br /></div><div>Do you remember what 1990s movie this song was featured in? </div><div><br /></div><div>And what's your most recent (or most frequent) earworm? </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/VKyWLAaStwM" width="320" youtube-src-id="VKyWLAaStwM"></iframe></div><br /><p><i>You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts <a href="https://www.stirrup-queens.com/2024/03/microblog-monday-479-another-fun-game/" target="_blank">here</a></i>. </p></div></div></div>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-23168502644940641092024-03-01T21:56:00.001-05:002024-03-01T21:56:15.648-05:00Right now<p><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">Right now...* </span></p><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><div><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">*<span style="font-size: x-small;">(<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/Right%20Now" style="color: #7c93a1; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">an occasional (mostly monthly) meme</a>, alternating from time to time with "<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/The%20Current" style="color: #7c93a1; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">The Current</a>"). (Explanation of how this started & my inspirations in my first "Right now" post, <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2015/11/right-now.html" style="color: #7c93a1; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">here</a>. Also my first "The Current" post, <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2012/07/current.html" style="color: #7c93a1; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">here</a>.)</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(This month is a slightly abbreviated version, as I honestly couldn't think of something to write about for several of my usual categories...!) </span></span></p><p></p><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>February was</b>, as usual, not my favourite month. :( There wasn't anything really bad about it, but for a short month -- even with an extra day tacked on for leap year -- it sure felt long. :( </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><br /></b></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Pandemic diary/update</b>: February was month #47 (soon to be FOUR YEARS...!) since the COVID-19 pandemic began -- and people around us still getting sick, many of them for the first time. :( W</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">e </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">remain covid-free (knocking wood, loudly...), and continue to mask in stores and most other public places, especially where there are a lot of people. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">Among other things this month, we: </span></div></div><div><div><div><ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em; text-align: left;"><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Saw Little Great-Nephew at his grandparents' house on Feb. 5th, 7th and 20th. (On all three occasions, he wasn't feeling well and was running a slight temperature (not covid), so his parents kept him out of school and with his grandparents while they were working.) </span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Shopped at Reitmans & Laura (women's clothing) as well as Carters/Oskosh (children's clothing) and Shoppers Drug Mart, on Feb. 6th; and Canadian Tire, Chapters (bookstore), Reitmans and Carters (again) on Feb. 21st. </span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Spent the morning of Feb. 15th at the mall, including lunch in the food court (unmasked, obviously), and then a few hours in the afternoon at Younger Nephew's nearby townhouse (along with BIL & SIL), being royally entertained by Little Great-Niece. :) </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Made the trip to our family doctor's office in our old community on Feb. 22nd -- he was booked solid, but I was able to see another doctor in the practice about the large red, somewhat itchy patch (eczema?) on my left cheek, and get a prescription (stopped off at the drugstore to have it filled, en route home). (See also: "Buying," below.).</li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Returned to our old community on Saturday, Feb. 24th, for haircuts. The salon we go to has merged operations with another salon across the street and moved over there. Normally, we try to get the first available appointment with our regular stylist on Friday morning, and I was aiming for March 1st, six weeks after our last haircuts -- but she was booked solid then -- and Little Great-Niece's first birthday party is on Saturday, March 2nd. I didn't think I could last until the week after that -- so we wound up going on Saturday afternoon, Feb. 24th. It was very busy in there, and a smaller space than the previous location. </li><ul><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Normally I would have worn a mask in this case -- but I've found that masks really irritate the itchy red patch on my left cheek. Ten minutes in & out of a store, okay, but an hour in a salon? I decided to take the risk and went maskless. (Knocking wood...!) </li></ul></ul><div><br /></div></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** </span></div></div><div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">Also right now: </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Reading</b>: I finished 2 books in February (reviewed on this blog, as well as Goodreads & StoryGraph, & tagged "2024 books"). </span>(I've been reading a lot of PAGES, but not necessarily finishing many books...! See my "Current reads" list, directly below...!) </div><div><ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;"><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60564473-best-of-friends" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Best of Friends</a>" by Kamila Shamsie (the February pick for my <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/GW%20book%20club" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Childless Collective Nomo Book Club</a>). (<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2024/02/best-of-friends-by-kamila-shamsie.html" target="_blank">My review</a>.) </span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/63891203-a-death-in-diamonds" target="_blank">A Death in Diamonds</a>" by S.J. Bennett (Her Majesty the Queen Investigates #4). (<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2024/02/a-death-in-diamonds-by-sj-bennett.html" target="_blank">My review</a> -- check out the comment I got from the author!!) </span></li></ul></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">This brings me to 6 books read so far in 2024, 13% of my 2024 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am currently 1 book behind my goal. :( </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">Current read(s): </span></div><div><ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;"><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/64416337-my-effin-life" target="_blank">My Effin' Life</a>" by Geddy Lee (of Rush! :) ) </span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/42737871-bel-lamington" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Bel Lamington</a>" by D.E. Stevenson -- (re)reading and discussing, chapter-by-chapter, with my <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/D.E.%20Stevenson%20%28author%29" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">DES group</a>, as of Jan. 18th. I'll count this as a re-read when we finish in April. (<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2024/01/bel-lamington-by-de-stevenson.html" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">My original review here</a>.) </span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20312875-anne-s-house-of-dreams" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Anne's House of Dreams</a>" by L.M. Montgomery, a re-read with my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/512319292977623/" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">LMM Readathon Facebook group</a>, which began Jan. 15th and will run over the next several months. (<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2024/01/annes-house-of-dreams-by-lm-montgomery.html" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">My original review here</a>.) </span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/19148579-war-and-peace" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">War and Peace</a>" by Leo Tolstoy (!). <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2023/11/microblogmondays-war-and-peace-anyone.html" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">As I wrote here</a>, I need another book club/readalong obligation like a hole in the head ;) but nevertheless, I'm taking part in <a href="https://substack.com/home/post/p-139099448" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">a year-long readalong of this book</a>, hosted by Simon at <a href="https://footnotesandtangents.substack.com/" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Footnotes and Tangents</a> -- a chapter a day for a full year, which began Jan. 1, 2024. Currently at about 23% read. </span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7151101-wolf-hall" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Wolf Hall</a>" by Hilary Mantel. Simon at <a href="https://footnotesandtangents.substack.com/" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Footnotes and Tangents</a> is also hosting a full-year readalong of Hilary Mantel's <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52172741-wolf-hall-bring-up-the-bodies-the-mirror-and-the-light?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=3zyIFlzmaZ&rank=5" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Thomas Cromwell Trilogy</a>, which also began on Jan. 1st with "Wolf Hall" and a weekly schedule. (Yes, I'm nuts...) Currently at about 51% read. We're due to finish this one (and then begin "<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16091258-bring-up-the-bodies" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Bring Up the Bodies</a>") in late April. </span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57475493-l-m-montgomery-and-gender" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">L.M. Montgomery and Gender</a>," an essay collection edited by E. Holly Pike & Laura Robinson. Slowly working my way through...! </span></li></ul></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><u>Coming up</u>: Most of my book groups have their next reads plotted out for a few months in advance -- and listing them here helps me keep track of what I should be reading next. ;) </span></div><div><ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;"><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">For my <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/GW%20book%20club" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Childless Collective Nomo Book Club</a>: </span></li><ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;"><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/28375060-the-improbability-of-love" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">The Improbability of Love</a>" by Hannah Rothschild (April)</span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/62092878-queen-high" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Queen High/Queen Wallis</a>" by C.J. Carey (May -- my earlier review <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2022/10/queen-high-by-cj-carey.html" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">here</a>). Sequel to "<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55538557-widowland" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Widowland</a>," which the group read in November 2021 (reviewed <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2021/11/widowland-by-cj-carey.html" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">here</a>). Not sure if I'm going to do a re-read (of one or both?) before our discussion begins? </span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/56357367-all-in" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">All In</a>" by Billie Jean King (June)</span></li></ul><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">For my <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/D.E.%20Stevenson%20%28author%29" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">D.E. Stevenson group</a>: This list of upcoming books should keep us busy through 2024, and well into 2025! (A couple of the books are ones we covered when I first joined the group back in 2014 -- you know you've been around for a while when....!) </span></li><ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;"><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/42935831-fletchers-end" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Fletcher’s End</a> (sequel to "Bel Lamington," beginning in May) </span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13607266-miss-buncle-s-book" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Miss Buncle’s Book</span></a></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/50262151-peter-west" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Peter West </span></a></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15831809-miss-buncle-married" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Miss Buncle Married</span></a></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18151780-the-two-mrs-abbotts" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The Two Mrs Abbotts</span></a></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60543498-crooked-adam" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Crooked Adam </span></a></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18509591-the-four-graces" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The Four Graces</span></a></li></ul></ul></div><div><ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;"><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">For the <a href="https://notesfromthreepines.substack.com/" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Notes from Three Pines</a> (Louise Penny mysteries) Readalong: The last discussion was for book #3, "<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/61158090-the-cruelest-month" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">The Cruellest Month</a>," posted June 7th -- no further posts/books since then. I've continued dipping into the series on my own, between other book club obligations. Book #6, "<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58666662-bury-your-dead" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Bury Your Dead</a>," is the next one on my list! </span></li></ul></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">A few recently purchased titles (mostly in digital format, mostly discounted ($5-10 or less) or purchased with points): </span></div><div><ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;"><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/50997396-the-survivors" target="_blank">The Survivors</a>" by Adam Frankel </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/75315428-the-future" target="_blank">The Future</a>" by Naomi Alderman </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60323156-how-to-stand-up-to-a-dictator" target="_blank">How to Stand Up to a Dictator</a>" by Maria Ressa </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57771408-be-my-baby" target="_blank">Be My Baby</a>" by Ronnie Spector </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/123851869-what-about-men" target="_blank">What About Men?</a>" by Caitlin Moran</li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8311067-bachelor-girl" target="_blank">Bachelor Girl</a>" by Betsy Israel </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/128573697-astor" target="_blank">Astor</a>" by Anderson Cooper & Katherine Howe </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22668845-home-fires" target="_blank">Home Fires</a>" by Donald Katz </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/156394223-collision-of-power" target="_blank">Collison of Power</a>" by Martin Baron </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/157995996-this-american-ex-wife" target="_blank">This American Ex-Wife</a>" by Lyz Lenz </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/5575473-when-pride-still-mattered" target="_blank">When Pride Still Mattered</a>" by David Maraniss </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10483237-your-movie-sucks" target="_blank">Your Movie Sucks</a>" by Roger Ebert </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16091258-bring-up-the-bodies" target="_blank">Bring Up the Bodies</a>" by Hilary Mantel </li></ul><div><br /></div></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** </span></div><div><b><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></b></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Watching</b>: </span></div><div><ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;"><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Season 10 of "<a href="https://www.pbs.org/weta/finding-your-roots" target="_blank">Finding Your Roots</a>" on PBS. </span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Two movies and part of a third, back to back to back, from the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bourne_(franchise)" target="_blank">Jason Bourne series</a>, with Matt Damon, one Saturday afternoon. :) </li></ul></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Listening</b>: </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">To </span><a href="https://heardledecades.com/" style="color: #249fa3; font-family: inherit; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Heardle Decades</a><span style="font-family: inherit;">: Stats as of Feb. 29th: </span></div></div></div></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><div><div><ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;"><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Heardle <a href="https://www.60s.heardledecades.com/" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">60s</a>: 76.6% (393/513, 169 on first guess), down just slightly from last month. Max. streak: 15.</span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Heardle <a href="https://www.70s.heardledecades.com/" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">70s</a>: 82.5% (212/257, 118 on the first guess), same as last month. Max. streak: 18. </span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Heardle <a href="https://heardle80s.com/" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">80s</a>: 43.4% (56/129, 24 on the first guess), down from last month. Max. streak: 4. </span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Heardle <a href="https://www.90s.heardledecades.com/" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">90s</a>: 29.2% (71/243, 14 on the first guess), down from last month. Max. streak: 4. </span></li></ul><div><b style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></b></div><div><b style="font-family: inherit;">Eating/Drinking:</b><span style="font-family: inherit;"> Takeout dinners included McDonalds, chicken souvlaki on a pita, teriyaki chicken rice bowls from the supermarket takeout, and cutlet sandwiches from </span><a href="https://eatcalifornia.ca/" style="font-family: inherit;" target="_blank">California Sandwiches</a><span style="font-family: inherit;"> (veal with tomato sauce for dh, chicken for me). </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div>I dusted off my Mom's meatloaf recipe, which I hadn't used in quite a while, and made mini-meatloaves in muffin tins, topped with a tangy Dijon mustard/brown sugar glaze, and served with garlic mashed potatoes and veggies. There were leftovers to put in the freezer for a couple of future dinners, too. Yum! </div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">We tried a <a href="https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1023843-quinoa-and-broccoli-spoon-salad?unlocked_article_code=1.VU0.GcOV.P_aclemBijIZ&smid=share-url" target="_blank">quinoa broccoli salad recipe</a> (gift link) that I found in the New York Times Cooking section -- similar to <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2023/11/odds-ends-annoying-things.html" target="_blank">another quinoa salad</a> we tried before Christmas, that we first had at dh's cousin's house -- and we both really enjoyed it, for one dinner and a couple of lunches too. :) We used a pouch of President's Choice microwavable quinoa (instead of cooking from scratch), pre-shredded cheddar from a bag, Craisins, and we didn't toast the pecans. Next time, I would probably chop the broccoli and apple into smaller pieces (dh did the chopping this time around), and I might make & add a little more of the dressing -- loved the tangy-ness! </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><b style="font-family: inherit;">Buying (besides books, lol): </b><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Presents for Little Great-Niece & Little Great-Nephew, for Valentine's Day, Easter, and Little Great-Niece's 1st birthday (which was Feb. 27th -- party coming up this weekend!). </span></li><li>A small jar of <a href="https://www.clinique.ca/product/1689/6007/skincare/redness/redness-solutions-daily-relief-cream-with-microbiome-technology?size=1.7_oz%2F50_ml&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAlcyuBhBnEiwAOGZ2Swnve69FpH2kHQhRoiCuTS__lcjyjBXaxhgC5G3sOd66dN7SSTmjixoCWRsQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Clinique Redness Solutions cream</a> to try (ordered online), to help combat the rosacea and eczema on my face that I've been experiencing lately (likely the result of the very dry air in our condo). :( It has seemed to help a little. </li><li>A new filter for our Dyson air purifier/humidifier. We bought this unit in October 2022 and the filter hasn't been replaced yet; it's now down to 13% capacity, so I figured it was time to get a replacement to have on hand...! </li></ul></div></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Wearing</b>: It's been chilly inside as well as outside these past few days (and on & off during the month) -- so long sleeved shirts under a cardigan, socks and slippers have been a must! </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Enjoying</b>: Being cozy at home when it's chilly and/or snowy or rainy outside. (Albeit sometimes I do go a little stir-crazy...!) </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Noticing: </b> Lately, it's been staying SLIGHTLY lighter, longer/later. Progress?? </span></div><div><b><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></b></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Trying: </b> <a href="https://www.metamucil.ca/en-ca/products/fibre-gummies" target="_blank">Metamucil gummies</a> (!). (Am I old or what??) At my checkup last fall, my family doctor noted that my cholesterol levels have been gradually rising for the past couple of years. (Uh oh.) It's not at the point where I need medication, yet, but he recommended exercise (sigh...), and increasing my fibre intake. "Try <a href="https://www.metamucil.ca/en-ca" target="_blank">Metamucil</a>," he suggested. I probably made a face when he said that. My mother has used Metamucil powder in a glass of water for years, for more, ahem, traditional reasons. ;) I always thought it looked completely disgusting. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">But then I saw an ad for Metamucil gummies, and thought I might be able to handle those. So I've been giving them a try -- and they actually taste pretty good (they're orange flavoured). ;) The maximum suggested dosage is up to three gummies, three times a day, with plenty of fluids. I started out with just one and have been gradually increasing the dosage. They advise taking them at least two hours before or two hours after any other medication. I take a blood pressure pill in the morning, and a thyroid pill in the late afternoon/early evening, which makes for some tricky logistics...! I probably won't ever get to the maximum dosage -- and I had to stop taking them temporarily this past week, when my doctor put me on a course of antibiotics to combat the inflammation/eczema on my cheek -- but until that point, I'd worked myself up to two before lunch and one in the evening. It remains to be seen whether they're helping my cholesterol levels...! </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Appreciating</b>: The sun, when it does shine! </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Wanting</b>: Oddly, I've been wishing there was more snow! We've had hardly any so far this winter -- and I know, it's not over yet...! Some people are perfectly happy with the milder winter -- and yes, it's easier for me to wish for snow when I (or dh!) don't have to shovel it! But this is Canada, it's winter, and this is NOT NORMAL. :( (The lack of moisture is also not good for the crops, as any farmer will tell you.) As I mentioned in <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2024/02/microblogmondays-whats-saving-my-life.html" target="_blank">this recent post</a>, I've seen several articles recently on this theme -- like <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/02/arts/design/minnesota-ice-shanties.html?unlocked_article_code=1.YE0.0vCV.MkIXre9d93hO&smid=url-share" target="_blank">this one</a>, and <a href="https://www.thestar.com/opinion/star-columnists/a-city-toboggan-ban-doesnt-matter-when-theres-no-snow-on-the-ground/article_1fc6fefa-c600-11ee-8beb-33d46d83648c.html" target="_blank">this one</a> -- and there is a real sense of grief and loss developing -- mourning for a vanishing way of life that the children of the future won't get to experience. :( <br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><b style="font-family: inherit;">Prioritizing</b><span style="font-family: inherit;">: Hard to know what to prioritize sometimes, with so many things on my to-do list (and more coming at me...!). </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><b style="font-family: inherit;">Feeling</b><span style="font-family: inherit;">: Glad that February is over -- but quite aware that winter isn't, yet...! Looking forward to Little Great-Niece's FIRST birthday party this weekend! :) NOT looking forward to March break (it's the week of March 11th here) and the inevitable crowds of kids and parents everywhere -- a good week to hunker down at home...! Exception: the Monday of break week (March 11th), when we'll be looking after Little Great-Nephew for the day while his parents are at work and his grandparents are en route home from a holiday. :) (They'll look after him for the rest of the week.) </span></div></div></div>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-27282022952788247972024-02-26T20:32:00.001-05:002024-02-26T20:32:47.476-05:00#MicroblogMondays: You never know who's reading your blog...! <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-kp9Q2FCsrVgmawEneWsw49-VABqzRuHNr_RlWSOQymZVC78rt4NB8NiO2MCTUYVJAs6mz46suqlGmJcJ_puV3xNfEBVvYlqP22lS4V1Qj05OWhNwmB6mVIB0KThqXJ9kx9tUrFYYdOsTcEmVGjZm4r5VfuUZqn8rRvDORTIM5SyFfhADYUewKn77QO0/s175/Microblog_Mondays.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="175" data-original-width="175" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-kp9Q2FCsrVgmawEneWsw49-VABqzRuHNr_RlWSOQymZVC78rt4NB8NiO2MCTUYVJAs6mz46suqlGmJcJ_puV3xNfEBVvYlqP22lS4V1Qj05OWhNwmB6mVIB0KThqXJ9kx9tUrFYYdOsTcEmVGjZm4r5VfuUZqn8rRvDORTIM5SyFfhADYUewKn77QO0/w200-h200/Microblog_Mondays.png" width="200" /></a></div>Check out the comments on <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2024/02/a-death-in-diamonds-by-sj-bennett.html" target="_blank">my last post</a>, a review of the latest "Her Majesty the Queen Investigates" novel, "<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2024/02/a-death-in-diamonds-by-sj-bennett.html" target="_blank">A Death in Diamonds</a>." ;) <div><br /></div><div>It's not the first time I've had an author drop into my comments (at least, the author of a book not related to childlessness, loss or infertility! lol) -- check out my reviews of "<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2009/08/summer-reading-columbine-by-dave-cullen.html" target="_blank">Columbine</a>" (also <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2009/08/some-more-thoughts-on-my-columbine-post.html" target="_blank">here</a>), "<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2019/02/parkland-by-dave-cullen.html" target="_blank">Parkland</a>," and "<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2014/08/mastering-art-of-quitting-by-peg-streep.html" target="_blank">Mastering the Art of Quitting</a>." </div><div><br /></div><div>But this is one of my favourite series at the moment, and hearing from the author was an unexpected delight -- particularly when she was so nice in responding to my criticism! (Thanks again, Sophia!) </div><div><br /></div><div>On a somewhat related note: Does anyone remember, years ago, how Elizabeth Edwards, the (late) wife of the Senator and 2008 presidential candidate John Edwards, left a comment on someone's blog? (I can't remember whose, offhand.) The Edwards lost their teenaged son Wade in a car accident, and apparently she was quite active in some online bereaved parents/grief forums (she also wrote <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/74122" target="_blank">a book about grief</a>). I was reminded of that last night while watching <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2024/02/18/politics/jake-tapper-political-scandals-what-matters/index.html" target="_blank">a CNN program on modern political scandals</a> in (pre-Trump era) Washington (!), focused on John Edwards. (Elizabeth died from breast cancer in 2010 at age 61.) <br /><p></p><p><i>You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts <a href="https://www.stirrup-queens.com/2024/02/microblog-monday-478-acquiring/" target="_blank">here</a>. </i></p></div>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-68271398565133389642024-02-24T21:50:00.004-05:002024-03-01T15:11:56.239-05:00"A Death in Diamonds" by S.J. Bennett <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOoIWQaIoLz31DEL9lbt5NNtiZb95nAcSQfvUfl3q36Fmddg9xHpSehGyk2vTX7_cQ9fR0zOo_6NMfPS24qIauXLzv1c7U1UP5_AO-qKfD63S482VhNhtkmofZMH0EEmBGLqY-xSbit0hCbppj_jlwYj7WHbliWqbu5WepLElf1N2RYsxu7rFOoySkuEI/s445/A%20Death%20in%20Diamonds.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="445" data-original-width="277" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOoIWQaIoLz31DEL9lbt5NNtiZb95nAcSQfvUfl3q36Fmddg9xHpSehGyk2vTX7_cQ9fR0zOo_6NMfPS24qIauXLzv1c7U1UP5_AO-qKfD63S482VhNhtkmofZMH0EEmBGLqY-xSbit0hCbppj_jlwYj7WHbliWqbu5WepLElf1N2RYsxu7rFOoySkuEI/w249-h400/A%20Death%20in%20Diamonds.jpg" width="249" /></a></div><p></p><p>"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/63891203-a-death-in-diamonds" target="_blank">A Death in Diamonds</a>" is the fourth book in the delightful mystery series "Her Majesty the Queen Investigates" by S.J. Bennett. Unfortunately, this book is not yet available in North America :( -- the author has said she doesn't have a publisher for it yet (what??!). Fortunately, I was able to source a copy from the U.K. And I'm so glad I didn't have to wait! </p><p>The first three books all took place in 2016 (post-Brexit, pre-Megxit, lol), when the Queen was 90. This volume takes us back in time to 1957, the early years of her, and opens with the 31-year-old monarch in Paris for an official visit. It's a triumph for the young Queen -- but several incidents before, during and after her Paris visit lead her to believe that someone is trying to sabotage her. And there's an important visit to Canada and the U.S. coming up soon, too...</p><p>Back in London, the city is buzzing about a double murder that was discovered while the Queen was in Paris -- of an Argentine businessman and a prostitute, who was wearing a valuable stolen tiara -- at the rented mews home of the Dean of Bath, no less (!)(a high-ranking Anglican clergyman). The Queen has her own reasons for taking a keen personal interest in the case... </p><p>Rozie Oshodi, Assistant Private Secretary to the Queen in the first three books, is missed here (she wasn't even born in 1957...!) -- but her predecessor, Joan McGraw, who did intelligence work at Bletchley Park and elsewhere during the war, is a more-than-adequate substitute who works to help Her Majesty identify the saboteur and solve the mystery of who killed "the tart in the tiara" and her client -- while also dealing with the deeply entrenched classist and sexist attitudes of the "Men With Moustaches" who surround her at Buckingham Palace. </p><p>As usual with this series, I enjoyed this book tremendously. At least, I WAS enjoying it...</p><p>...right up until I read a certain sentence in Chapter 55, contrasting the young working mother/Queen with a villainous CHILDLESS couple. I was preparing to give this book a 5-star rating up until that point -- but that particular stereotype, tossed casually into the conversation, was jarring, and made me wince. It took me several pages to re-absorb myself in the story, as it reached its climax. </p><p>So -- not 5 stars, but 4.5, regretfully rounded down to 4. </p><p>There's a fun section of "Afternotes" at the end, explaining what was fact and what was fiction. (It's not mentioned, but I know the Ottawa part of the North American visit was based in historical fact and, as a Canadian, it was fun to read about that.) </p><p>Coming next year from the same author: #5 in the series, "<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/206183954-the-queen-who-came-in-from-the-cold" target="_blank">The Queen Who Came in From the Cold</a>." :) (Let's hope for a North American publisher and speedy publication date here, for both #4 and #5, by then...!) </p><p>Links to my reviews of previous books in this series: </p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>#1: "<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2021/05/the-windsor-knot-by-sj-bennett.html" target="_blank">The Windsor Knot</a>" </li><li>#2: "<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2022/03/all-queens-men-by-sj-bennett.html" target="_blank">All the Queen's Men</a>" (alternate title: "A Three-Dog Problem") </li><li>#3: "<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2023/11/murder-most-royal-by-sj-bennett.html" target="_blank">Murder Most Royal</a>" </li></ul><p></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">This was Book #6 read to date in 2024 (and Book #2 finished in February), bringing me to 13% of my 2024 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) on track to meet my goal. :) You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2024 tagged as "<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/2024%20books" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">2024 books</a>." </i></span></p>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-46728416433057635422024-02-19T12:59:00.000-05:002024-02-19T12:59:58.993-05:00#MicroblogMondays: What's saving my life right now? <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj0MrwOFymvXCiqsfWHpQxrxE7LectXyJR5nQPtsgfZ1BELHa2OK1tP5Dpdu6P-gu7e4BmqXGH3IvTCTX3Y4yYT3lm3g2CFH7-TDJMDV8qMyd4Duevt6am7pggWLui-doLWNblLZQtcUAG8ijvZTEN1TNBlwgOVUtgA4RfLhRZXOSwBjGW3Rr5b9MDB4g/s175/Microblog_Mondays.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="175" data-original-width="175" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj0MrwOFymvXCiqsfWHpQxrxE7LectXyJR5nQPtsgfZ1BELHa2OK1tP5Dpdu6P-gu7e4BmqXGH3IvTCTX3Y4yYT3lm3g2CFH7-TDJMDV8qMyd4Duevt6am7pggWLui-doLWNblLZQtcUAG8ijvZTEN1TNBlwgOVUtgA4RfLhRZXOSwBjGW3Rr5b9MDB4g/w200-h200/Microblog_Mondays.png" width="200" /></a></div>Every year, <a href="https://modernmrsdarcy.com/" target="_blank">Modern Mrs. Darcy</a> asks her readers "<a href="https://modernmrsdarcy.com/whats-saving-your-life-or-keeping-head-above-water/" target="_blank">What's saving your life right now</a>?" (Or at least keeping your head above water?) <p></p><p>It was a very timely prompt -- if you've read some of my recent posts, you'll know the winter has been getting to me...! Without looking at previous years' posts, here are a couple of things I could think of: </p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Spending time with our great-nephew & great niece</b>. :) Admittedly, it doesn't happen often these days, now that Little Great-Nephew is going to school -- but such a day-brightener when it does! </li><li><b>...and shopping for them</b>. I had lots of fun assembling Valentine's Day goodie bags for them recently (still have to get Little Great-Nephew's to him...), and I've started collecting things for Easter too (bunny ear headbands, anyone?? lol), as well as for Little Great-Niece's upcoming FIRST birthday! (Yikes! -- already??) (And the fact that I can do these things with only a few grief-y twinges shows how far I've come!) </li><li><b>Getting out of the house once in a while</b>. The pandemic really threw a monkey wrench into our usual routines outside of the house. We're still pretty cautious and try to avoid crowds (which we did even before the pandemic, lol) -- but we've realized there's no reason why we can't go out shopping or to the mall, etc., so long as we're masked -- and so we have been doing that a little more frequently lately. I think we could even eat out once in a while too, although admittedly I'd feel more comfortable doing that on a patio in good weather, or during off-times when there will be fewer people. We haven't really done much of that yet (aside from a few early lunches in the food court at the mall), but maybe when the nicer weather comes... </li><li><b>Snow! (Believe it or not! lol)</b> We've had very little snow this winter -- or other recent winters -- which is unsettling and upsetting in some ways. Who knew we'd be missing winter, right? :( There have been several articles recently about how the consistently warmer temperatures in recent years have been affecting traditional Canadian winter activities -- skating on backyard rinks and the Rideau Canal, skiing, tobogganing, etc. (not to mention moisture levels in the soil, which is critical for the success of crops during growing season) -- how winters are so different today than when we were children, and what's it going to be like for our own kids and grandkids (and nieces and nephews and greats)? There's been a real sense of grief & loss. So seeing snowflakes in the air and snow covering the ground feels both special and right and NORMAL (even when it disappears a few days later). (Admittedly, not everyone feels this way... and it's easier to welcome some snow when you're retired and living in a condo -- i.e., you don't have to shovel it or commute through it to work! lol) </li><li><b>Blue skies & sunshine</b>. It's been mostly grey & gloomy outside, which has not been great for my mental health. The occasional days when the sun does shine (even if it means colder temperatures) make a world of difference! </li><li><b>Our humidifier, moisturizer and lots of lip balm</b>. It's very dry in our condo, even with the humidifier running constantly (albeit not at full blast, because it just gets too noisy then, despite Dyson's claims of "quiet" technology...!). The humidity levels have only cracked 40% a couple of times since we got back from Christmas vacation, and more often hover in the low/mid-30s. I've always had great skin; people have always complimented me on it -- but apparently skin often gets drier with age, and it seems I'm not immune: these days I've got some patches of dryness and rosacea on my cheeks/around my nose. It sucks. :( My doctor prescribed me a topical gel, and I've been using it since last fall, but it hasn't really helped much. </li><ul><li>I recently bought a small jar of <a href="https://www.clinique.ca/product/1689/6007/skincare/redness/redness-solutions-daily-relief-cream-with-microbiome-technology?size=1.7_oz%2F50_ml&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAiAlcyuBhBnEiwAOGZ2Swnve69FpH2kHQhRoiCuTS__lcjyjBXaxhgC5G3sOd66dN7SSTmjixoCWRsQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds" target="_blank">Clinique Redness Solutions cream</a> to try, and I've actually seen some small improvements since I started using it last week, which makes me feel slightly better about looking in the mirror...! </li><li>My favourite lip balm continues to be the (very pricey -- and the price has gone up by about $8 since I bought my last tube!! WTF??) <a href="https://www.sephora.com/ca/en/product/sugar-advanced-therapy-lip-treatment-P302103" target="_blank">Sugar Advanced Therapy Treatment by Fresh</a>. </li><li>But I also really like this <a href="https://kpurenaturals.com/products/smooch-super-moisturizing-lip-balm?variant=16506435207" target="_blank">Smooch lip balm by K'Pure</a>, which a friend introduced me to in recent years. :) </li></ul><li><b>Comfort food. </b> Lots of soups for lunch (our local supermarket has some good ones at their takeout counter takeout), roast or rotisserie takeout chicken, <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2022/03/microblogmondays-annoying-things-small.html" target="_blank">chicken & dumplings in the crockpot</a>... I pulled out my mother's meatloaf recipe recently, which I hadn't made in years, and made mini-meatloaves in muffin tins, topped with a Dijon mustard/brown sugar glaze (I know most people use ketchup, but I can't have that because of my tomato allergy), served with garlic mashed potatoes. There were leftovers to put in the freezer too. Yum! </li><li><b>Chocolate!</b> ;) Dh & I traditionally exchange cards on Valentine's Day, but this year, there was also a small heart-shaped box of Lindor chocolates sitting on my night table when I woke up, along with the card. (He knows me well!) </li><li><b>Books </b>(of course!). <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/63891203-a-death-in-diamonds" target="_blank">The latest S.J. Bennett novel</a> (in the "Her Majesty the Queen Investigates" series) isn't available in North America yet, but I was able to snag a copy, and (as usual) it's such a pick-me-up. :) </li><li><b>Pretty new jewelry</b>. :) Love me some new bling! (Even if I don't get the chance to show it off in public very often these days...!) </li><li><b>Turning the channel</b> on the TV -- away from the news networks, and onto some music. (Mostly classic rock and 70s channels!) </li><li><b>Zoom chats with distant friends</b>. :) </li></ul><p></p><p><a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/what%27s%20saving%20my%20life%20right%20now" target="_blank">Past posts on this subject here</a>. </p><p><i>You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts <a href="https://www.stirrup-queens.com/2024/02/microblog-monday-477-the-places-we-cant-go/" target="_blank">here</a></i>. </p>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-37910149808843852572024-02-17T20:50:00.000-05:002024-02-17T20:50:31.581-05:00Long weekend odds & ends <p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>It's the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Day_(Canada)" target="_blank">Family Day</a> long weekend here in Ontario (and a couple of other Canadian provinces). This holiday always sneaks up on me -- I knew there was a long weekend coming up (although long weekends don't mean quite the same thing when you're retired...!) -- but it hadn't really sunk in that it was THAT long weekend until I looked at my email on Friday afternoon and saw a promotional message from a friend's small business: "Happy Family Day Weekend!" Ugh. (So far, not TOO much hype. But it's only Saturday...!) </li><ul><li>Past rants (ummm, posts) on this subject <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/Family%20Day" target="_blank">here</a>. </li></ul><li>Speaking of family: the son of one of dh's cousins -- six months older than Katie would have been -- is engaged. His mom announced it via our cousins' WhatsApp group this weekend, along with a photo of the happy couple, showing off the ring. Everyone is excited -- "too long since we've had a family wedding!"</li><ul><li>I'm happy for them. He's a very nice young man, and she seems like a nice girl. But I couldn't help but think about my own little girl, who would be 25 (!) now -- older than I was when I got married, at 24 (!!) -- who will never grow up. let alone become a bride. :( </li></ul><li>Also speaking of family (and on a lighter note) -- BIL called yesterday to tell us that Little Great-Nephew's teacher asked each student to tell the class who they would most like to have dinner with. All the kids were naming celebrities, athletes, etc. -- but LGN said, "All the people in my heart" (!) -- and then named off everyone in his extended family! -- including me & dh!! Needless to say, we were both absolutely tickled when we heard this (and yes, I got kind of teary too!). </li><li>Something else that gave me a chuckle: I got an email from Kobo.ca on Friday night, promoting their long weekend bargain books. Scrolling through the selections, I started laughing when I found the title "Mayo Clinic Guide to Fertility and Conception" -- in the Science Fiction & Fantasy section! lol </li><li>I'm not sure if this article is behind a subscriber paywall, but it's an interesting read: "<a href="https://www.thestar.com/opinion/contributors/my-partner-and-i-want-to-have-a-baby-but-we-cant-afford-it-without/article_16f5c0f0-b948-11ee-89b7-db4ad4e5cb4c.html?source=newsletter&utm_source=ts_nl&utm_medium=email&utm_email=0FE59A78E8BAFA9C105521F35F6DD6C7&utm_campaign=frst_209065" target="_blank">My partner and I want to have a baby, but we can't afford it without leaving Toronto</a>. Is that our fault — or part of a much bigger problem?" (Subhead: "You always hear "there's never a perfect time to have kids," but that minimizes major structural inequalities that affect a huge amount of Canadians.") </li><ul><li>I feel for this couple (and I get pissed off by politicians whose main solution to reversing declining birth rates seems to be going after abortion and birth control). The expense of having a baby, and the lack of support (no mother or mother-in-law nearby to help me, expensive and limited daycare options, etc.) were certainly among the reasons why we procrastinated on trying to conceive until I was in my mid-30s. (And our rent ranged from $650 a month in 1985, when we moved in, to $975 by the time we bought our house in 1990 and moved out. This was for a small one-bedroom apartment in a charming renovated brownstone building in a tony midtown neighbourhood near the subway that, when we first moved in, did not allow children. I'm sure that would seem incredibly cheap to renters today, but it was pretty expensive at the time...!) </li></ul><li>You MUST read Jody Day's post on her <a href="https://jodyday.substack.com/" target="_blank">Childless Elderwomen</a> Substack about childless daughters, caregiving and pronatalism (<a href="https://jodyday.substack.com/p/its-not-like-shes-got-anything-else" target="_blank">"It's not like she's got anything else to do, is it?"</a>) She absolutely nails it. I'm so grateful she is doing this work and calling some much-needed attention to these issues! </li><li>This opinion piece in the Guardian generated quite a bit of discussion in one of the online childless communities I frequent: "<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/commentisfree/2024/feb/10/facebooks-endless-back-to-school-photos-spark-complex-feelings-for-childfree-people-like-me-but-sadness-isnt-one-of-them" target="_blank">Facebook’s endless back-to-school photos spark complex feelings for childfree people like me – but sadness isn’t one of them</a>." I'd be curious to know what you think of it! </li><ul><li>Personally, I found the writer's tone and wording minimized (perhaps even dismissed?) the very real pain that many childless women feel -- and I worry that readers who have not shared this experience might not understand that she does NOT speak for all of us. (Some of us would LOVE to have friends like hers...!) </li><li>Quote: "In the patriarchal, restricted and desperately sexist world that came before, one can imagine that a woman without children may have been a object of concerned pity..." Well, we certainly have more opportunities and other fulfilling experiences these days -- but that doesn't mean that the world isn't still full of patriarchy & sexism, or that childless women aren't still objects of pity in some quarters...</li><li>I also chafe at the idea -- which I've seen a fair bit of recently in various books & articles -- that suggests the childless/free should "[embrace] active roles... in the broad community of family and friends that actually helps people with kids raise their children." Yes, it's an option -- but it shouldn't feel like an obligation, just because we don't have children of our own to occupy our time & energy. Some of us are happy to help out, some of us would rather not, some of us don't have any family or friends with young children nearby, and some of us would like to help but (inexplicably) meet resistance from some parents. It's not always that simple.</li><li>I questioned why a writer/publication would be highlighting back to school photos in the middle of February?? An Australian in the group explained to me that the writer was an Aussie, and the school year there runs from late January/early February through November/December. Oops. I apologized for my northern hemisphere-centricity. ;) </li></ul><li><a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/feb/14/lens-singleton-belgian-council-focus-live-alone?CMP=share_btn_fb" target="_blank">Also from the Guardian</a>: Bravo to Carla Dejonghe, a Belgian woman who has persuaded her local municipal council to confront a highly common blind spot, and consider the impact of its policies on single people (including many childless women). 36% of households in Belgium are currently made up of single adults. That number has grown by 30% in just over a decade, and it's likely to keep getting larger in the future. A couple of excerpts (boldfaced emphasis is mine): </li></ul><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>The text of the charter stresses the aim of ensuring that single-income households are treated on an equal footing with others, adding: “<b>It is our interest as policymakers to no longer think from the perspective of the traditional family as the norm, but to strive for measures that are neutral to living arrangements</b>.”</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>It includes measures that range from encouraging new housing projects to feature communal spaces for more social interaction, to tweaking municipal invitations to specify that guests can bring a “plus one” instead of only a partner...</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>The charter also commits to championing single-friendly practices within the local hospitality industry, such as communal tables and a wider selection of quality wines by the glass. Workplaces will also be encouraged to reconsider the common practice of relying on people who live alone any time overtime is required.</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>“These are just simple things,” said Dejonghe. “They don’t cost much money but they’re very logical.”</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><br /></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>...Dejonghe, who is also a member of Belgium’s parliament, said she had yet to receive any negative reactions, chalking it up to the care she had taken to emphasise that the charter was in no way aimed at diminishing the importance of traditional families.</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>“It’s about equality,” she said. “Everyone has to be aware of two things: if it’s good for a person living alone, it will be good for everybody. And second, whether you want to or not, at some point in your life you will be all alone.”</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>She described the charter as a first step towards tackling this reality. “Our society has evolved but our policies haven’t kept up,” she said. “These are small steps but we have to start somewhere.”</div></div></blockquote></blockquote><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Annnnndddd just as I was set to hit "publish" on this post, a message popped into my inbox. From Parents Neighbours Daughter. A photo of the Littlest Princess (all smiles, as usual). Wearing the handknit sweater set that another neighbour (M., long dead now) had made for my Katie, 25+ years ago. (<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2023/08/gradually-letting-go.html" target="_blank">Full story here</a>.) "It fits!" she wrote. </li><ul><li>I brushed away tears as I messaged her back: "M. would have loved that!" </li><li>Is this frickin' weekend over yet? </li></ul></ul><p></p><p></p>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-49469821802833693642024-02-12T09:37:00.000-05:002024-02-12T09:37:24.818-05:00#Microblog Mondays: Odds & ends & lots of links! <p></p><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLSFAzNnFeC46Y91xTvKar7JDfMtlbIww9Hz2WSWHBONE4Y1TldlGUFiVEZUTbkEZHZW3zhCCASvZUzvdFclYgsreApFKZZmPqUZboDw_8cc4Eqee-E22FuguMJ_0Dc2PIiVTby9lOiOPaXrCOs0ZG412QsGXSJDY4YIvfd7RGLOFcrMWWp_5pe6UuVtY/s175/Microblog_Mondays.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="175" data-original-width="175" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLSFAzNnFeC46Y91xTvKar7JDfMtlbIww9Hz2WSWHBONE4Y1TldlGUFiVEZUTbkEZHZW3zhCCASvZUzvdFclYgsreApFKZZmPqUZboDw_8cc4Eqee-E22FuguMJ_0Dc2PIiVTby9lOiOPaXrCOs0ZG412QsGXSJDY4YIvfd7RGLOFcrMWWp_5pe6UuVtY/w200-h200/Microblog_Mondays.png" width="200" /></a></div>(Another #MM post that's not so micro... but it's what I've got!) </div><div><br /></div><div>I haven't posted as much here lately as I often do. I can chalk it up, in part, to the usual mid-winter/February malaise. Aside from a few (too few) glorious days of sunshine & clear blue skies, it's been grey and blah outside lately. And there just hasn't been a lot going on to write about. I've hardly been out of the house. (Planning a trip to the mall this week to remedy that!) </div><div><br /></div><div>I've also been feeling slightly overwhelmed by the volume of stuff coming at me every day. Nothing particularly important or heavy or consequential -- just trying to keep up with all the things I want and need and like to do -- and read. </div><div><br /></div><div>I've always been a voracious reader and consumer -- of books, of magazines, of newspapers -- of media generally, from the time I learned to read. Even when I was a kid, my parents and grandparents always got (and read) at least one newspaper daily (the one from the nearest city), sometimes two, when there was a daily local paper (and if there wasn't a daily, there was a weekly) -- plus, we tuned in to the news on TV at lunchtime, suppertime and later in the evening too (in the days before 24-hour news channels existed). And every morning when I arrived at journalism school, there were stacks of of the local London Free Press and Globe & Mail waiting in our classroom/newsroom for us to read -- with regular news quizzes to ensure we were keeping up with current events. I've kept the habit of reading multiple daily newspapers (along with other reading material, of course) all through my adult life. </div><div><br /></div><div>These days, the news tends to come in a digital format. Just getting through my email inbox -- full of newsletters from various newspapers, magazines, Substacks, etc. -- takes forever some days. (I look forward to weekends, when the volume diminishes considerably.) Plus there are blogs to read and comment on (something I haven't been very good at doing lately...!), social media accounts, message boards and other sites I follow regularly. I've slacked off considerably on keeping up with my Facebook & Instagram accounts -- which I suppose is not a bad thing in some ways (lol) -- but also leaves me with mild cases of both guilt and FOMO. </div><div><br /></div><div>Additionally, I've been checking my Ancestry account every morning to see what new DNA cousins have shown up overnight for me, my mom & dh. Checking the daily e-book bargains on Kobo. Juggling reading for the several book clubs & readalongs I belong to, plus squeezing in a few books from my own towering to-read piles now & then. Plus the usual household stuff, etc. </div><div><br /></div><div>On the other hand, all this reading lately means I have some really GREAT stuff to share with all of you here! :) </div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Jody Day has been on an absolute roll lately with her <a href="https://jodyday.substack.com/" target="_blank">Childless Elderwomen</a> Substack. SO MUCH insight and wisdom! Check out her latest post -- "<a href="https://jodyday.substack.com/p/shouldnt-you-be-over-that-at-your" target="_blank">Shouldn't you be over that at your age?</a>" -- and then peruse the archives for more. </li><li>Jody also recently shared this thoughtful essay by Kristen Gentry: "<a href="https://www.raisingmothers.com/childless/" target="_blank">Childless</a>." </li><li>"<a href="https://mysweetdumbbrain.substack.com/p/i-will-be-they-would-have-been-it" target="_blank">I will be, they would have been, it will be</a>:" Katie Hawkins-Gaar at "<a href="https://mysweetdumbbrain.substack.com/" target="_blank">My Sweet Dumb Brain</a>" (Substack) examines "the ever-changing calculations of grief math."</li><li>A fascinating (excellent!) article from ProPublica about <a href="https://www.propublica.org/article/what-australia-could-teach-america-about-reducing-stillbirths?utm_campaign=majorinvestigations&utm_medium=email&utm_source=sailthru&wpisrc=nl_health202&utm_content=river" target="_blank">how Australia has reduced the number of stillbirths there</a>, and what America (and Canada!) could learn from their example. </li><li><a href="https://www.canadianaffairs.news/" target="_blank">Canadian Affairs</a> recently published <a href="https://www.canadianaffairs.news/2024/01/31/ivf-access-an-acute-struggle-for-many-canadian-couples/" target="_blank">an article about Canadians' access to IVF treatment</a> -- or lack thereof -- followed by an editorial arguing "<a href="https://www.canadianaffairs.news/2024/02/02/editorial-why-ivf-treatment-should-be-publicly-funded/" target="_blank">Why IVF treatment should be publicly funded</a>." (You will likely need to register for access.) </li><li><a href="https://www.blog.silentsorority.com/" target="_blank">Pamela</a> recently posted <a href="https://pamelamahoneytsigdinos.medium.com/todays-fertility-industry-mantra-always-be-closing-5718b582dff0" target="_blank">a new article in Medium</a> calling (once again) for greater accountability from the fertility industry. (It may be behind a paywall?) </li><li><a href="https://www.yaelwolfe.com/" target="_blank">Yael Wolfe</a>, who is CNBC, had a great post in <a href="https://medium.com/" target="_blank">Medium</a>: "<a href="https://medium.com/liberty-76/to-all-the-women-in-their-40s-who-are-saying-goodbye-to-their-fertility-b1642ea745de" target="_blank">To All the Women in Their 40s Who Are Saying Goodbye to Their Fertility</a>." (Subhead: "This is one of the most sacred journeys we’ll ever take — and the world barely acknowledges it.") </li><ul><li>Unfortunately, it's (also) behind a members-only paywall. (I got a membership a while back specifically so I could read her stuff!) And the only way I can access a gift link is by upgrading my membership -- I mean, seriously??) But it's worth a read, if you can access it somehow. </li><li>Sample passage (boldfacing & italics hers): </li></ul></ul><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>I suspect no one had the fertility journey that they thought they would have. There are surprise pregnancies. There are unimaginable losses. Life has no greater talent than that of disrupting our expectations.</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>In all of these circumstances, it is the women who are “childless by circumstance” that I think of the most. The women like me. There is such pain for those of us who wanted to become mothers yet did not. <b>And there is no recognition of this type of loss in our culture</b>.</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>We understand and honor the grief of miscarriages, stillborns, and other losses associated with our fertility. But we don’t have a social protocol to help us support a woman who is childless by circumstance. In fact, we don’t even have a cultural understanding of the very important difference between a woman who is child<i>less</i> and one who is childfree — our culture assumes any woman without children got there by choice.</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>We’re strangely unable to understand that many women struggle with the emotional and physical toll of infertility — that they perhaps wanted a child of their own very badly but could not have one. And apparently, at least so far as I can see, it’s incomprehensible that a fertile woman could end up without a child <i>unless she chose that path</i>.</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>Western imagination understands the fickle hand of fate when it comes to miscarriages and surprise pregnancies — but <i>not</i> when it comes to a woman who had a plan…a plan that just didn’t work out.</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>Those who don’t have children aren’t without stories — and equally complex stories, at that. <b>If you have a uterus, you have stories.</b> And someday, when the storyline of our fertility comes to an end, we feel drawn to open those worn pages again, flip through the familiar words and images, and maybe even share them with those around us.</div></div></blockquote></blockquote><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>This article from the Atlantic by a woman who has had three miscarriages and one full-term loss is gorgeous: "<a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2024/02/motherhood-fertility-loss-identity/677380/?gift=azusxyDxDF4QjSkeyXgcQVSPUxNVrcryw_bTqmeeHyc&utm_source=copy-link&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=share" target="_blank">I Don’t Know If I Can Call Myself a Mom</a>." (Subhead: "I’ve had three miscarriages, seven reproductive surgeries, and one infant loss. I still don’t have a child.") Caveat: She & her husband are still trying to conceive. (Gift link.) Sample passage: </li></ul><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>How do you confirm parenthood without proof? Without spit-up on your clothes, a diaper bag slung over your shoulder, or commiseration with fellow mothers?</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>But I did mother Lucy. Every decision I made for her—from the positive test to her last breath—was mothering. Not drinking booze or eating raw fish during my pregnancy was mothering. Reading parenting books and touring day cares was mothering. Practicing prenatal yoga and labor positions was mothering. Stroking her face while I held her languid body had to have been mothering.</div></div></blockquote></blockquote><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>In her Substack "The Antidote," Helen Davenport-Hall once again nails it with "'<a href="https://helendavenportpeace.substack.com/p/breathe-yourself-fertile" target="_blank">breathe yourself fertile': aka my latest bullshit, unethical find</a>" (about the rhetoric and ethics of the "fertility wellness and spiritual world"). Sample passage [italics and boldface the author's]: </li></ul><ul style="text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><i>The ethics of fertility wellness and spirituality matters to me.</i> You matter, we matter and we deserve ethical sensitivity, criticality and someone to redress the balance. We deserve far far better than being told we’re not breathing properly either and so of course we aren’t fertile.<br /><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><br /></blockquote>There is a particular feeling of futility and self blame that we can be left with alongside our negative pregnancy tests. And it’s never as loud as when we’ve bought into the suggestions, claims and promises that THIS is the thing that will get that positive test - paid for it, tried it and come away empty handed.<br /><br /><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"></blockquote><b>You didn’t do it wrong.</b><br /><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><br /></blockquote></blockquote><li>I had mixed feelings about this article from the Guardian (so, caveat emptor...): "‘<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2024/feb/05/at-45-i-grieved-the-idea-of-motherhood-then-by-pure-fluke-i-was-pregnant?fbclid=IwAR19MKH9LrRO3_1e5X-5HMxIJ_SQ01uKrcy7Kvd398_Ts4GROQ88vxFjs6s" target="_blank">At 45, I grieved the idea of motherhood. Then, by pure fluke, I was pregnant</a>’." To her credit, the author -- who endured multiple miscarriages and two failed rounds of IVF -- is honest about the mixed feelings & emotions. (And the writing is beautiful.) A couple of sample passages: </li></ul><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>In many ways it has been a strange tributary in the conversation most women have throughout their lives: why you don’t have children, why you do. Fertility is a part of a woman’s life that exists beyond herself, that is forever subject to public speculation and interrogation. “Questions,” as Rebecca Solnit put it, “that push you into the herd or nip at you for diverging from it.”</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>It has been stranger still to cross from one side to the other, as if handed, like a baton, between the divergent and the herd. At this stage in my life, I do not seem to fit entirely in either; I have missed the mothering years of my peers, and now I have absconded from my child-free fellowship.</div></div></blockquote></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">and</div></blockquote><div></div><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>I am wary of the false hope this kind of fertility story might give: woman gives up trying to have a baby, then duly falls pregnant – as if the very act of wanting something is the very thing that might prevent it. I do not want this to seem like a cautionary tale of female desire. Nor was there any great trick – I cannot attribute my pregnancy to a particular vitamin supplement, acupuncturist, health regime. I have no advice. It was luck, pure fluke.</div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div><br /></div></div></blockquote><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div><div>It was also not without complexity. I was of course elated to be pregnant, but I had spent a good two years grieving the idea of motherhood and imagining a different kind of life for myself. Now I was doubling back, revisiting the hopes of my younger self.</div></div></blockquote></blockquote><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Not ALI-related (at least, not obviously so...), but...: I don't know if those of you outside of Canada know who <a href="https://www.brittlestar.com/" target="_blank">Brittlestar</a> is: his real name is Stewart Reynolds, and he's a comedian, corporate spokesperson and wry social media commentator/content creator, among other things. He also has a Substack (who doesn't these days, right?), and I thought he made a great point recently, explaining "<a href="https://brittlestar.substack.com/p/heres-why-some-people-have-gone-crazy" target="_blank">Here's why some people have gone crazy</a>." </li><ul><li>(Personally, I think politics and world events have always had an impact on us all -- it's just that most people don't pay attention or make the connection until it becomes blatantly obvious and too difficult to ignore, as it did during the pandemic -- just as most people will offer up "thoughts and prayers" when a tragedy happens, secure in the knowledge that such a thing would never happen to THEM...)(until it inevitably does, of course...!). </li></ul><li>If you've been a reader here for a while, you'll know of my longstanding admiration for the Maynard women -- mother <a href="https://www.encyclopedia.com/religion/encyclopedias-almanacs-transcripts-and-maps/maynard-fredelle-bruser" target="_blank">Fredelle</a>, and her daughters <a href="https://ronamaynard.com/" target="_blank">Rona</a> and <a href="https://www.joycemaynard.com/" target="_blank">Joyce</a> -- all successful writers. I've followed both Rona & Joyce on social media for years, and Rona is now expanding on her wonderful Facebook posts in a Substack called "<a href="https://ronamaynard.substack.com/" target="_blank">Amazement Seeker</a>." You MUST read today's post -- "<a href="https://ronamaynard.substack.com/p/voice-lesson-from-a-literary-warrior" target="_blank">Voice Lesson from a Literary Warrior</a>" -- if only for that opening paragraph, which left me slack-jawed with envy (oh, to be a fly on the wall of THAT gathering...!). But I'm betting you'll stick around for the whole thing. ;) How about this paragraph, which will speak to bloggers everywhere? </li></ul><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">Not every revolution strikes at a foe. For a woman who writes, the first barricade is within. To claim what you know, and tell it in your own voice, is a revolutionary act that not only remaps your emotional world but clears a path for others... If my joys, sorrows and amusements mattered, then so did my reader’s.</div></blockquote></blockquote><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>The CBC had a story this weekend about the <a href="https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/cousins-decline-canada-1.7103338" target="_blank">declining number of cousins</a> that children today are growing up with, and the important role they can play in families. </li><ul><li>This is certainly something I've noticed in my own experience, and in dh's family too. My mom had just one brother and he had just two kids (my first cousins) -- but on my dad's side of the family, I have something like 35?? first cousins & half-cousins. Dh has a similar amount from his mom & dad's families combined. But our nephews have just one (living) cousin (their mom's brother's daughter). Little Great-Nephew has just one first cousin -- Little Great-Niece -- and it's likely to stay that way. Little Great-Niece has two other cousins on her mom's side of her family. </li></ul></ul><div><i>You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts <a href="https://www.stirrup-queens.com/2024/02/microblog-monday-476-combinations/" target="_blank">here</a>. </i></div><p></p><p></p>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-2989261679008097682024-02-05T10:11:00.001-05:002024-02-09T14:17:45.417-05:00#MicroblogMondays: Define "regular"...! <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDqmOuxQQGlqwg_J-0mWlHiTPbjiN35yuXEHQByuEYCF57HJXk0cwa7knLMOiQGutzuNuYxYHlIEdY7fY5DXD3IRBC6O7BbT0uPnFSO24lVdMO1cpoeMOQ0pVB38-AYo2o5K3xdiKjWqQ5RoABBbZhiWTZhRZkcdM56hlhB23dAmTYl5cEkR2awo452ZU/s175/Microblog_Mondays.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="175" data-original-width="175" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDqmOuxQQGlqwg_J-0mWlHiTPbjiN35yuXEHQByuEYCF57HJXk0cwa7knLMOiQGutzuNuYxYHlIEdY7fY5DXD3IRBC6O7BbT0uPnFSO24lVdMO1cpoeMOQ0pVB38-AYo2o5K3xdiKjWqQ5RoABBbZhiWTZhRZkcdM56hlhB23dAmTYl5cEkR2awo452ZU/w200-h200/Microblog_Mondays.png" width="200" /></a></div>There was <a href="https://www.thestar.com/business/regular-families-will-never-again-be-able-to-buy-a-house-in-toronto-but-we/article_fa75e335-1cc3-5057-8d05-7c6068c4cbc4.html" target="_blank">a long article</a> in the Toronto Star this weekend that raised my childless hackles. The article itself was rather interesting -- about Toronto's housing crisis, and possible solutions. I'm not sure whether it's behind a paywall (doesn't seem to be a gift link available) -- but it was the headline that had me rolling my eyes, hard, and that I wanted to focus on here: "<a href="https://www.thestar.com/business/regular-families-will-never-again-be-able-to-buy-a-house-in-toronto-but-we/article_fa75e335-1cc3-5057-8d05-7c6068c4cbc4.html" target="_blank">Regular families will never again be able to buy a house in Toronto – but we can still fix the housing crisis. Here’s how.</a>"<div><br /></div><div><div>Define "regular families," right??! (That's a new one on me...!) I think "typical families" or "average families" is the more usual description, and possibly a better/preferable choice of words -- although I'd still roll my eyes over the focus on "families" -- knowing that, as a childless couple -- a "family of two" -- we wouldn't qualify in the eyes of so many people and institutions...! </div><div><br /></div><div>How about "residents" or "citizens" or just plain "people"?? Right??</div><div><br /></div><div>I ranted about this to dh. He said, "I guess that makes us IRregular??" </div><div><br /></div><div>(Which made me think some more: "regular" also smacks of "normal" -- the opposite of which, of course, would be "abnormal." Right? :p ) </div><p></p><p><i>You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts <a href="https://www.stirrup-queens.com/2024/02/microblog-monday-475-indoor-and-outdoor-clothes/#" target="_blank">here</a>.</i> </p></div>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-82639081724874143642024-02-02T15:47:00.001-05:002024-02-02T15:47:28.857-05:00"Best of Friends" by Kamila Shamsie<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVv_923atI4mVjQGnyRHVkbK9s35n-x2OZpYTihxuj7yL0_PO4dbf1I9TMH6KdoO-9wiDThRPlcm0kiJJNuWJ0yGXDs7R3E_iEbZktzpQK-_9Bs7sqjwj7wIyb6tr25JU2G-hi_GIL4ci95VphckoC7Pb_yzzpixmpvRXyFj5EBnEaf3TwuS_cCs2X4S8/s450/Best%20of%20Friends.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="298" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVv_923atI4mVjQGnyRHVkbK9s35n-x2OZpYTihxuj7yL0_PO4dbf1I9TMH6KdoO-9wiDThRPlcm0kiJJNuWJ0yGXDs7R3E_iEbZktzpQK-_9Bs7sqjwj7wIyb6tr25JU2G-hi_GIL4ci95VphckoC7Pb_yzzpixmpvRXyFj5EBnEaf3TwuS_cCs2X4S8/w265-h400/Best%20of%20Friends.jpg" width="265" /></a></div><p></p><p>"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60564473-best-of-friends" target="_blank">Best of Friends</a>" by Kamila Shamsie is the February choice for our <a href="https://members.childlesscollective.com/about" target="_blank">Childless Collective</a> <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/GW%20book%20club" target="_blank">Nomo Book Club</a>, where the focus is NOT on books about pregnancies, mothers and miracle babies. ;) </p><p>The "best of friends" of the title are Maryam Khan and Zahra Ali, who have known each other since they were 4 years old. When we first meet them, they're 14 years old, living and attending school together in Karachi, Pakistan, in 1988. The two come from very different backgrounds: pretty and popular Maryam is the oldest of three daughters from a wealthy family, lives in a large house with armed guards at the gate, and is being groomed by her grandfather to take over his leather goods business after she finishes university -- a future she embraces. Less confident, bookish Zahra is not wealthy, but lives a comfortable life with her mother, a popular school principal, and her father, a well-known journalist and host of a popular television program about cricket. She can't wait to get out of Pakistan and head for London. </p><p>One night, the girls attend a forbidden party at a classmate's house -- and something happens that changes both their lives forever. </p><p>The story abruptly fast-forwards in time to 2019, 30+ years later. Both Zahra and Maryam, now in their 40s, are living and working in London, both enjoying professional success in very different fields. </p><p>And then someone from their shared past re-emerges -- and Zahra and Maryam's long friendship is tested. </p><p>It was interesting to read a book set in an unfamiliar location/culture -- and the first part of the book is the most interesting. I will admit that I don't know a lot about Pakistani culture or politics, but I do remember <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benazir_Bhutto" target="_blank">Benazir Bhutto</a> (who, in the novel, knew Maryam's mother when they were at school together, and is an inspirational figure for both Zahra and Maryam). I'll also admit that my eyes sometimes glazed over when the topic turned to cricket...! (I know absolutely nothing about cricket -- although I did recognize the name of Imran Khan. Canada seems to be one of the few (perhaps only?) former British colonies where cricket is more or less a non-entity, although it is played in some urban areas, mostly by immigrants from other former British colonies in the Indian subcontinent and the Caribbean.) (When we first moved into our house in the early 1990s, we would often see kids playing street hockey in the little bay right in front of our house. Over time, the makeup of the neighbourhood evolved, and not long before we moved, I was amused to see a group of kids in the street outside playing cricket! Plus ca change...) </p><p>However, the angst of being a teenaged girl seems to be a universal thing...! and I thought the book did a good job of capturing that -- although, unlike me, Zahra and Maryam also had to cope with the additional pressures of living in a highly patriarchal society undergoing political upheaval. </p><p>The second half/London section of the book is less engaging, and ultimately falls somewhat flat. Neither Zahra nor Maryam, in their adult incarnations anyway, are especially likeable. The ending is ambiguous, which left me hanging and wondering, "Is that it??" </p><p>It was an interesting read, but I feel like there should have been more to it. </p><p>3 stars on Goodreads. </p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">This was Book #5 read to date in 2024 (and Book #1 finished in February), bringing me to 11% (!) of my 2024 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 2 books ahead of schedule. :) You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2024 tagged as "<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/2024%20books" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">2024 books</a>." </i></span></p><p>*** *** *** </p><p>Reading this book, and about the incident that changes everything for Zahra and Maryam, I couldn't help but think about some of the dumb things I did when I was a teenager/young adult. I particularly remember two incidents from summer 1981, when I turned 20. (Fortunately for me, neither had serious consequences.) </p><p><b>Story #1</b>: My sister & I were sharing a tiny basement apartment rental for the summer, in the town where we'd attended junior and senior high school. Our parents had since moved on to another town, but we still knew lots of people there and were both able to secure summer jobs. By day, I worked as a summer relief teller at the local credit union; in the evenings, I spent a lot of time with a girl we'd both known in high school. Her dad owned -- and let her drive! -- a flashy, bright yellow, relatively new Camaro, and we spent hours cruising up and down the main street, showing off our hot wheels, blasting music. </p><p>One night at the 7-11, we ran into three guys my friend knew (but I didn't), and after chatting for a while, we wound up getting into their car with them. I was in the passenger seat in front beside the driver, my friend in back with two of the guys. They decided we should drive out to the beach, about 20 miles away. As we headed out, it dawned on me that driving off in a strange car with a bunch of strange (to me) guys down dark country roads, when nobody knew where I was or who I was with, was probably not the brightest idea I'd ever had. </p><p>Then I started smelling pot smoke from the back seat (and cannabis was strictly illegal back then.) </p><p>Then we ran into a long stretch of fresh roadwork on our side of the road-- so the driver started driving on the other/wrong side of the road to avoid dinging up his car. All I could think was that the cops would have a field day with us if they happened to be out patrolling. </p><p>Fortunately, after several miles of crappy roads, we decided to abandon the beach and drive back into town. Needless to say, I was VERY relieved! </p><p><b>Story #2</b>: Same summer, same friend, same car. I don't remember what we were doing in the city (Winnipeg), but we saw that a local band we liked was playing at a bar that night and decided to go in for a few drinks and listen to some music. The bar was in an older, somewhat shabby hotel, on the edge of a funky/trendy neighbourhood. Neither of us had ever been there before. The band hadn't started playing yet when we walked into the bar, but the room was already crowded. </p><p>With BIKERS. Hells Angels types. (Heck, they might have even BEEN Hells Angels -- I don't know.) Big, burly, tough-looking in leather vests. A couple of them had girlfriends with them, but as women, we were vastly outnumbered. We stood there, surveying the room and then looked at each other and, after a whispered consultation, decided to get the hell out of there. </p><p>Only -- the bouncer -- another big, burly, bearded guy (who looked like he could have been a biker too) stood in the doorway. "What's the matter?" he said said, menacingly. "Don't you like our bar?" </p><p>I think I deserved an Oscar for fast thinking, if not the performance I put on next. "We were supposed to meet some friends here, but I think they've jammed out on us," I said in a very put-out tone of voice. "Is there a payphone?" (This was long before the era of cellphones, of course.) </p><p>To my immense relief, the guy actually cracked a smile and his tone softened. "Sure -- it's just down the hall there." </p><p>"THANK you SO much!" I beamed sweetly at him and batted my eyelashes. We stood at the payphone -- within sight, but not earshot -- while I took a quarter from my wallet, picked up the receiver, pretended to dial and then carried on a brief, one-sided conversation. </p><p>Then we exited out the nearest door. It was not the door we'd come in, and we had to walk around the building to get to where our car was parked. But outside the door we'd exited was another parking lot we hadn't seen when we arrived. It was completely full of motorcycles. </p><p>Yikes! </p>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-80442650923929979752024-02-01T10:39:00.002-05:002024-02-01T10:39:51.877-05:00Right now<p><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: inherit;">Right now...* </span></p><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><div><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">*<span style="font-size: x-small;">(<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/Right%20Now" style="color: #7c93a1; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">an occasional (mostly monthly) meme</a>, alternating from time to time with "<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/The%20Current" style="color: #7c93a1; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">The Current</a>"). (Explanation of how this started & my inspirations in my first "Right now" post, <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2015/11/right-now.html" style="color: #7c93a1; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">here</a>. Also my first "The Current" post, <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2012/07/current.html" style="color: #7c93a1; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">here</a>.)</span></span></p><p></p><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Pandemic diary/update</b>: January was month #46 (soon to be FOUR YEARS...!) since the COVID-19 pandemic began. The cold I developed during the week between Christmas & New Year's Day lingered well into the month :p -- and then dh got it too. Ugh. Little Great-Nephew also came down with strep throat before the month ended (poor little guy!). :( </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">Nevertheless, we </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">remain covid-free (knocking wood, loudly...), and continue to mask in stores and most other public places, especially where there are a lot of people. Maskers are in the minority these days hereabouts, but I've noticed more of us again over the past two months, with cases way up. I have heard that, in some areas, the latest wave is the second-largest of the entire pandemic to date (yikes!). </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>January was a month of adjustment: </b>It took me a good week or two to settle back into our regular routines and feel like I'd caught up on things that had piled up while we were away over Christmas. And after the bright lights & festivities of Christmas with my family, the (mostly) cloudy grey skies and chilly temperatures have been taking their (usual) toll on my emotional well-being...! </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">Among other things this month, we: </span></div></div><div><div><div><ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em; text-align: left;"><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Flew home from spending Christmas & New Year's Eve with my parents, sister & her partner, on New Year's Day (mid-afternoon, so we didn't have to wake up at the crack of dawn to get to the airport...!). </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Went with dh to the supermarket to restock the cupboards & fridge on the morning of Jan. 2nd, and to pick up takeout en route home on Jan. 20th.</li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Went to BIL & SIL's house on Tuesday & Thursday, Jan. 2nd & 4th, to visit and see Little Great-Nephew, who was still on school vacation that week. </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2024/01/new-year-odds-ends.html" target="_blank">Celebrated my (63rd!!) birthday</a> on Friday, Jan. 12th, with trips to the local art gallery and bookstore. </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2024/01/new-year-odds-ends.html" target="_blank">Had dinner with BIL & SIL at Younger Nephew's nearby townhouse</a> on Monday, Jan. 15th (we walked over), with Little Great-Niece providing the entertainment. :) </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Got haircuts in our old community on Friday Jan. 19th, and went to the mall there to shop and have an early lunch in the food court. </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Had lunch with the nephews and their families at BIL's on Saturday, Jan. 20th, then headed across the city to visit stepMIL & family (for the first time in nearly a year -- erk!). </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">Went out shopping on Jan. 30th at Staples, Homesense, Dollarama and Sephora (where I picked up my birthday bonus gift!), and to the local mega-bookstore on Jan. 31st. </li></ul></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** </span></div></div><div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">Also right now: </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Reading</b>: I finished 4 books in January (reviewed on this blog, as well as Goodreads & StoryGraph, & tagged "2024 books"). </span></div><div><ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;"><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/198543399-the-christmas-orphans-club" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">The Christmas Orphans Club</a>" by Becca Freeman. (Recommended by Nora McInerny of Terrible, Thanks for Asking.) (<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2024/01/the-christmas-orphans-club-by-becca.html" target="_blank">My review</a> -- see also "Listening," below.) </span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20312875-anne-s-house-of-dreams" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Anne's House of Dreams</a>" by L.M. Montgomery, for my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/512319292977623/" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">LMM Readathon Facebook group</a>, starting Jan. 15th. This is one that's near & dear to many loss mothers' hearts, including mine. (<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2024/01/annes-house-of-dreams-by-lm-montgomery.html" target="_blank">My review.</a>) </span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/42737871-bel-lamington" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Bel Lamington</a>" by D.E. Stevenson, in advance of my <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/D.E.%20Stevenson%20%28author%29" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">DES group</a>'s chapter-by-chapter read & discussion, which began Jan. 18th. (<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2024/01/bel-lamington-by-de-stevenson.html" target="_blank">My review</a>.) </span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/48665534-living-the-life-unexpected?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=A4g7LMLo3l&rank=2" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Living the Life Unexpected</a>" by <a href="https://gateway-women.com/" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Jody Day</a>. A re-read (for the 5th time, I think! -- second time with a group of other childless women within <a href="https://www.gw-community.com/feed" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">the private online Gateway/Lighthouse Women community</a>, one chapter a month for an entire year). (My most recent review -- with links to previous reviews -- <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2024/01/living-life-unexpected-by-jody-day-re.html" target="_blank">here</a>.) </span></li></ul></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">This brings me to 4 books read so far in 2024, 9% of my 2024 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am cu</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">rrently 1 book ahead of my goal. </span>:)</div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">Current read(s): </span></div><div><ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;"><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60564473-best-of-friends" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Best of Friends</a>" by Kamila Shamsie (the February pick f</span>or my <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/GW%20book%20club" style="color: #249fa3; font-family: inherit; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Childless Collective Nomo Book Club</a>). (Almost done this one!)</li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/42737871-bel-lamington" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Bel Lamington</a>" by D.E. Stevenson -- (re)reading and discussing, </span>chapter-by-chapter, with my <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/D.E.%20Stevenson%20%28author%29" style="color: #249fa3; font-family: inherit; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">DES group</a><span style="font-family: inherit;">,</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> as of Jan. 18th. I'll count this as a re-read when we finish in April. (</span><a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2024/01/bel-lamington-by-de-stevenson.html" style="font-family: inherit;" target="_blank">My original review here</a><span style="font-family: inherit;">.) </span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20312875-anne-s-house-of-dreams" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Anne's House of Dreams</a>" by L.M. Montgomery, a re-read with my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/512319292977623/" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">LMM Readathon Facebook group</a>, which began Jan. 15th and will run over the next several months. (<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2024/01/annes-house-of-dreams-by-lm-montgomery.html" target="_blank">My original review here</a>.) </span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/19148579-war-and-peace" target="_blank">War and Peace</a>" by Leo Tolstoy (!). <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2023/11/microblogmondays-war-and-peace-anyone.html" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">As I wrote here</a>, I need another book club/readalong obligation like a hole in the head ;) but nevertheless, I'm taking part in </span><a href="https://substack.com/home/post/p-139099448" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">a year-long readalong of this book</a>, hosted by Simon at <a href="https://footnotesandtangents.substack.com/" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Footnotes and Tangents</a> -- a chapter a day for a full year, which began Jan. 1, 2024. I got about 60 pages read one summer between university terms, about 40 years ago -- let's see how far I get this time around...! Currently at about 11% read. </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span>"</span><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7151101-wolf-hall" style="color: #249fa3; font-family: inherit; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Wolf Hall</a>" by Hilary Mantel. Simon at <a href="https://footnotesandtangents.substack.com/" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Footnotes and Tangents</a> is also hosting a </span>full-year readalong of Hilary Mantel's <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52172741-wolf-hall-bring-up-the-bodies-the-mirror-and-the-light?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=3zyIFlzmaZ&rank=5" style="color: #249fa3; font-family: inherit; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Thomas Cromwell Trilogy</a><span style="font-family: inherit;">, which also began on Jan. 1st with "Wolf Hall" and a weekly schedule. (Yes, I'm nuts...) Currently at </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">about 23% read. We're due to finish this one (and then begin "<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16091258-bring-up-the-bodies" target="_blank">Bring Up the Bodies</a>") in late April. </span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"</span><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/57475493-l-m-montgomery-and-gender" style="color: #249fa3; font-family: inherit; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">L.M. Montgomery and Gender</a><span style="font-family: inherit;">," an essay collection edited by E. Holly Pike & Laura Robinson. Slowly working my way through...! </span></li></ul></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><u>Coming up</u>: Most of my book groups have their next reads plotted out for a few months in advance -- and listing them here helps me keep track of what I should be reading next. ;) </span></div><div><ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;"><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">For my <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/GW%20book%20club" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Childless Collective Nomo Book Club</a>: </span></li><ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;"><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"</span><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/28375060-the-improbability-of-love" style="color: #249fa3; font-family: inherit; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">The Improbability of Love</a><span style="font-family: inherit;">" by Hannah Rothschild (April)</span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/62092878-queen-high" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Queen High/Queen Wallis</a>" by C.J. Carey (May -- my earlier review <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2022/10/queen-high-by-cj-carey.html" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">here</a>). Sequel to "<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55538557-widowland" target="_blank">Widowland</a>," which the group read in November 2021 (reviewed <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2021/11/widowland-by-cj-carey.html" target="_blank">here</a>). Not sure if I'm going to do a re-read (of one or both?) before our discussion begins? </span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/56357367-all-in" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">All In</a>" by Billie Jean King (June)</span></li></ul><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">For my <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/D.E.%20Stevenson%20%28author%29" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">D.E. Stevenson group</a>: This list of upcoming books should keep us busy through 2024, and well into 2025! (A couple of the books are ones we covered when I first joined the group back in 2014 -- you know you've been around for a while when....!) </span></li><ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;"><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/42935831-fletchers-end" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Fletcher’s End</span></a> (sequel to "Bel Lamington," beginning in May) </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13607266-miss-buncle-s-book" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Miss Buncle’s Book</span></a></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/50262151-peter-west" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Peter West </span></a></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15831809-miss-buncle-married" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Miss Buncle Married</span></a></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18151780-the-two-mrs-abbotts" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The Two Mrs Abbotts</span></a></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60543498-crooked-adam" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Crooked Adam </span></a></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18509591-the-four-graces" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The Four Graces</span></a></li></ul></ul></div><div><ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;"><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">For the <a href="https://notesfromthreepines.substack.com/" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Notes from Three Pines</a> (Louise Penny mysteries) Readalong: The last discussion was for book #3, "<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/61158090-the-cruelest-month" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">The Cruellest Month</a>," posted June 7th -- no further posts/books since then. I've continued dipping into the series on my own, between other book club obligations. Book #6, "<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58666662-bury-your-dead" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Bury Your Dead</a>," is on the horizon as one of my next reads...! </span></li></ul></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">A few recently purchased titles (mostly in digital format, mostly discounted ($5-10 or less) or purchased with points): </span></div><div><ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;"><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/61099059-o-caledonia">O Caledonia</a>" by Elspeth Barker</li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/63327484-real-self-care" target="_blank">Real Self-Care</a>" by Pooja Lakshmin </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60916347-quit" target="_blank">Quit</a>" by Annie Duke</li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/61419644-bogie-bacall" target="_blank">Bogie & Bacall</a>" by William J. Mann </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52609047-the-girl-in-the-middle" target="_blank">The Girl in the Middle</a>" by Anais Granofsky (who played Lucy on "<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Degrassi_Junior_High" target="_blank">Degrassi Junior High</a>" and "<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Degrassi_High" target="_blank">Degrassi High</a>" in the 1980s & 90s). </li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;">"<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/203382413-blood" target="_blank">Blood</a>" by Dr. Jen Gunter (paperback) </li></ul></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** </span></div><div><b><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></b></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Watching</b>: </span></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Season 10 of "Finding Your Roots" on PBS. Some great guests so far, including Alanis Morrisette, Valerie Bertinelli, Brendan Fraser, Sammy Hagar and Bob Odenkirk (to name a few). </span></li><li>Figure skating: Canadian national championships from Calgary on the weekend of Jan. 13th via livestream (mentioned <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2024/01/new-year-odds-ends.html" target="_blank">here</a>), and then the U.S. Nationals in Columbus, Ohio, on the weekend of Jan. 26th on NBC (while dh was watching NFL football...!). </li></ul></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Listening</b>:</span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">To a couple of podcasts (yay! -- I'm WAY behind!): </span></div><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><a href="https://www.voiceamerica.com/show/4062/new-legacy-radio" target="_blank">New Legacy Radio</a>, with Stella Duffy speaking about menopause (<a href="https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/148443/menopause-in-focus-the-embodied-experience-of-postmenopause" target="_blank">Jan. 16th episode</a>), and Dr. Erin Conner about pronatalist workplace culture (<a href="https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/148569/encore-how-do-we-reimagine-workplace-culture-in-a-pronatalist-world" target="_blank">Jan. 23rd, repeat episode</a>). </li><li><a href="https://www.feelingsand.co/terriblereadingclub" target="_blank">The Terrible Reading Club</a>, <a href="https://link.chtbl.com/terriblereadingclub?sid=TRCwebsite" target="_blank">December 2023 episode</a>, with Nora McInerny talking to Becca Freeman about her new novel, "The Christmas Orphans Club" (see "Reading," above for links to the book and to my review!).</li><li>"<a href="https://ttfa.org/" target="_blank">Terrible, Thanks for Asking</a>," also with Nora McInerny. I finally got around to listening to the Aug. 15th (2023) episode, "<a href="https://ttfa.org/episodes" target="_blank">Still a Family</a>," about a couple whose infertility journey ended without a child. It's a tough listen (have kleenex handy), but it's also wonderful for a CNBC story to get this kind of recognition. </li></ul></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">To </span><a href="https://heardledecades.com/" style="color: #249fa3; font-family: inherit; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Heardle Decades</a><span style="font-family: inherit;">: Stats as of Jan. 31st: </span></div></div></div></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><div><div><ul style="line-height: 1.4; margin: 0.5em 0px; padding: 0px 2.5em;"><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Heardle <a href="https://www.60s.heardledecades.com/" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">60s</a>: 76.7% (371/484, 160 on first guess), down just slightly from the same as last month. Max. streak: 15.</span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Heardle <a href="https://www.70s.heardledecades.com/" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">70s</a>: 82.5% (189/229, 103 on the first guess), up from last month. Max. streak: 18. (I TIED my past streak of 18, two days ago -- but lost out before I could surpass it. Curse you, "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyC_0x8wruA" target="_blank">Autobahn</a>" by Kraftwerk! lol)(I've heard the song before, but the opening seconds had me stumped...!) </span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Heardle <a href="https://heardle80s.com/" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">80s</a>: 44.6% (45/101, 19 on the first guess), down from last month. Max. streak: 4. </span></li><li style="margin: 0px 0px 0.25em; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Heardle <a href="https://www.90s.heardledecades.com/" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">90s</a>: 31.5% (68/216, 14 on the first guess), down from last month. Max. streak: 4. </span></li></ul><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Following</b>: The discussions on "War & Peace" in <a href="https://footnotesandtangents.substack.com/" target="_blank">Footnotes & Tangents</a>' Substack Chats. They add so much to the experience & my enjoyment of the book! </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Eating/Drinking:</b> Since returning home from Christmas holidays, takeout dinners have included our favourite wood oven pizza, pasta, veal & chicken cutlet sandwiches, chicken fingers and fries. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">We had sausages, potatos & peppers (dh's favourite) at Younger Nephew's townhouse, on Jan. 15th. :) </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">And takeout Portuguese chicken with rice and roasted potatos for lunch at BIL's on Jan. 20th. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="https://www.eatingonadime.com/crock-pot-chicken-dumplings/" target="_blank">Crockpot chicken and dumplings</a>, which we have year round, but tastes especially good at this time of year...! (Not sure if I've shared this recipe here before, but I'm sharing it now/again!) Generally love it, but the first time we tried this, it was WAY too salty, so (recipe instructions to the contrary), we now use reduced-sodium soup & broth, and have cut way back on the added salt. We use a bag of miniature carrots (cut into smaller pieces) and frozen peas for the veggies, and Pillsbury Country Biscuits for the dumplings, chopped into small pieces. (My parents don't use all the biscuits in the can, and bake a couple of them to eat with the meal.) We use two chicken breasts for dh & me, and usually have lots of leftovers! </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Buying (besides books, lol): </b> Some paper and ink for my printer from Staples. Some goodies for Little Great-Nephew and Little Great-Niece for Valentine's Day & Easter, while at the dollar store :) and a couple of books for them at the mega-bookstore. A new kind of lip balm to try (La Neige, grapefruit flavour) from Sephora. </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">And I just ordered a "</span><a href="https://bellabagu.com/collections/mystery-bags" style="font-family: inherit;" target="_blank">mystery bag</a><span style="font-family: inherit;">" from </span><a href="https://bellabagu.com/" style="font-family: inherit;" target="_blank">my favourite local sterling silver jewelry maker</a><span style="font-family: inherit;"> -- four or five pieces of sterling silver jewelry, $250 value for $100. Can't wait to see what I get...! </span></div></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Wearing</b>: The more explicitly holiday-themed waffle-weave PJ tops from Old Navy in my collection have been put away, but I'm still wearing some of the more winter-y designs :) (and other long-sleeved T-shirts in my collection). Generally too cool inside for shorter sleeves yet! </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Noticing: </b> How out of shape I am!! while speedwalking through the bitter cold over to Younger Nephew's townhouse, about 5 minutes away from us, on Jan. 15th. (I know the cold didn't help matters... but... yikes!)</span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Enjoying</b>: Reading "War and Peace"!! (See "Reading," above.)(Who would have thought??) </span></div><div><b><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></b></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Trying: </b> To stay warm, amid chilly temperatures! (Although it hasn't been quite as cold here as it's been out west...! -- and it's turned milder again these past few days...) </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Appreciating</b>: Since we got back from Christmas, BIL has seemed more like his old self than he has in at least a year. So long as his doctors approve (and there doesn't seem to be any reason why they wouldn't), he's planning on returning to work soon. He hopes to put in a couple more years before he retires. (Silly boy, lol -- he probably could have stayed on disability and then segued into his pensions when he turned 65 -- but we're so grateful that he feels able to do that!) </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Wanting</b>: To get to a couple more stores in the next little while to take advantage of the birthday offers/discounts I received via email, before they expire. :) <br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Wondering</b>: What's being planned for Little Great-Niece's FIRST first birthday at the end of February? (That year went by fast! -- only wish we'd been able to see more of her...!) </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Prioritizing</b>: Not sure -- so many things competing for my attention right now...! </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Hoping: </b>That February will be less grey & dreary (but I doubt it...!). </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Loving: </b> Any time we can spend with Little Great-Nephew (and now Little Great-Niece too). :) Feels like we don't see enough of the little guy since he started school last fall. :( </span></div></div><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Feeling</b>: Tired of winter already (with February still to come...!). <b>Dreading</b> the coming months, as the U.S. election cycle launches into full swing... :p (<b>Appreciating</b> our much-shorter Canadian election cycles...!) </span></p></div>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-12042404034382638592024-01-29T15:12:00.000-05:002024-01-29T15:12:57.274-05:00#MicroblogMondays: Odds & ends <div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk05gHMIiukjQI-wzgBy7c2zg3HWKzfEMjkoo3Qu8FZq5BtKFECHcG_hyWk9oidzX8s0_NWprWxsp_BF7kl0GLro_Ruv9_ZcNVtqpMBJ_JQHQs0mhAtJHa6R5_Qy0jPY0zDcZXslo3affAHbRr4jXRbHmHnL9T3pOHBWW4YXvslN8vAKlFrwe9-rWAORs/s175/Microblog_Mondays.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="175" data-original-width="175" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk05gHMIiukjQI-wzgBy7c2zg3HWKzfEMjkoo3Qu8FZq5BtKFECHcG_hyWk9oidzX8s0_NWprWxsp_BF7kl0GLro_Ruv9_ZcNVtqpMBJ_JQHQs0mhAtJHa6R5_Qy0jPY0zDcZXslo3affAHbRr4jXRbHmHnL9T3pOHBWW4YXvslN8vAKlFrwe9-rWAORs/w200-h200/Microblog_Mondays.png" width="200" /></a></div>(I don't particularly like combining an "odds & ends" post with #MicroblogMondays, but it's what I have today so... here it is!) </div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>I don't remember exactly where I found <a href="https://ryanroseweaver.substack.com/" target="_blank">Ryan Rose Weaver on Substack</a>, but I think it was in a response to another Substacker's post where she mentioned her pregnancy loss. <a href="https://ryanroseweaver.substack.com/p/exit-interviews-jess-van-wyen-reproductive" target="_blank">This interview </a>she did with Jess Van Wyen, who has chosen to remain childless/free after loss -- not a miscarriage or stillbirth but a termination for medical reasons (TFMR -- in plain language, an abortion) -- and has since become an advocate for reproductive rights -- is truly inspiring and says so many of the things many of us as childless women are thinking, feeling and wishing we could tell other people about our lives. **<b>Content warning</b>: Given the sensitive topic, this may or may not be a good fit for you as a reader. Also, pregnancy & baby loss photos are included.** </li><li>Lyz Lenz at "<a href="https://lyz.substack.com/" target="_blank">Men Yell at Me</a>" has a new book coming out soon about divorce, "<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/157981711-this-american-ex-wife?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=F9bazQfFK4&rank=1" target="_blank">This American Ex-Wife</a>." (She also has <a href="https://lyz.substack.com/s/this-american-ex-wife" target="_blank">a new podcast</a> by the same name.) In <a href="https://lyz.substack.com/p/weekly-thread-the-moment-you-knew/comments" target="_blank">a recent discussion thread</a>, she asked her subscribers (which includes me) to weigh in on "the moment when you knew it was time to quit." </li><ul><li>Said Lyz: "I want to expand this beyond marriages. I want to know the moment when you knew it was time to quit — your job, your relationship, your friendships. Let’s talk about our moments of breaking." </li><li>I posted about the moment when I knew it was time to quit infertility treatments and accept a permanently childless life (<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2011/06/treatment-diaries-aftermath-anxiety.html" target="_blank">which I've written about on this blog</a>). Another woman posted something similar not long after I did, too. :) </li><li>So far, my comment has received 37 (!) "likes" as well as a couple of replies. </li></ul><li>I'm a big fan of my fellow Manitoban <a href="https://drjengunter.com/" target="_blank">Dr. Jen Gunter</a> :) and I am looking forward to picking up a copy of her latest book, "<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/203382413-blood" target="_blank">Blood</a>" (about menstruation), which was released this past week. Here's <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/books/2024/jan/14/blood-the-science-medicine-and-mythology-of-menstruation-dr-jen-gunter-review?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email" target="_blank">a great review from The Guardian</a>. </li><li>Totally non-ALI-related, but I thought it was worthwhile passing along: I'm a (non-paid) subscriber to Chris Cilizza's Substack, "<a href="https://chriscillizza.substack.com/" target="_blank">So What?</a>" Chris writes primarily about U.S. politics, which is what he did when he was at CNN and (before that) the Washington Post. But he's also written a lot about the experience of losing his job at CNN -- including <a href="https://chriscillizza.substack.com/p/you-got-laid-off" target="_blank">this piece here</a>. </li><ul><li>Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt. <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2014/07/deja-vu-p.html" target="_blank">I can relate</a>, and I know I would have appreciated his words back then. </li><li>(In July, it will be TEN YEARS since I got my own marching papers!! Can you believe it?? Yikes!!) </li><li>All of my job loss-related posts are tagged "job loss," <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/job%20loss" target="_blank">here</a>. </li></ul></ul><div><i>You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts <a href="https://www.stirrup-queens.com/2024/01/microblog-monday-474-winter-travel/" target="_blank">here</a>. </i></div><ul style="text-align: left;"></ul>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-74871335134938015092024-01-23T14:49:00.004-05:002024-01-23T17:02:13.142-05:00No grandkids? (Welcome to my world...) <p>Last weekend's Globe & Mail had a really interesting -- and intelligent -- article <span>("</span><a href="https://www.theglobeandmail.com/gift/14414514760de7002fa4a7c3ecb17e5a327efa46ac65ddf0139aab87dcda62a2/RA6LFDEIG5HOXOOPN4ZRFE64VE/" target="_blank">Baby boomers are adjusting to a new retirement normal: No grandchildren</a>") <span style="font-family: inherit;">and accompanying </span><a href="https://www.theglobeandmail.com/canada/article-birth-rate-decline-grandparents/#bonuspodcast" style="font-family: inherit;" target="_blank">21-minute podcast</a> <span style="font-family: inherit;">about the growing numbers of would-be grandparents and their childless/free adult children, and the grief some of them are feeling about their lack of grandchildren. (</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">You can find the podcast at the link above, or on any of the major podcast platforms -- it's called The Decibel, Jan. 19th episode.) The reporter, Zosia Bielski, describes herself as childfree by choice, and has written other interesting articles about population and generational issues. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">I didn't realize it at the time, because I'm a digital-only subscriber, but the article was featured prominently, with the feature photo taking up most of the front page of the Saturday/weekend edition. It's generated a huge amount of reader comments (now closed to further responses). (As usual, BEWARE THE COMMENTS!) </span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">The focus is on adult children choosing to be childfree, and their (Boomer) parents' reactions to that choice. There's no mention of the fact that not all boomers are parents to begin with (and thus will never be grandparents either). (Ahem!)(Late-stage Boomer/early GenXer here...!) </span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">But (surprisingly! and happily) our "not by choice" segment does get mentioned in both the article and the podcast. Laura Carroll, who literally wrote the book on pronatalism ("The Baby Matrix" -- which I read & reviewed <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2019/10/vacation-reading.html" target="_blank">here</a>) and Therese Schecter, who filmed the wonderful documentary "My So-Called Selfish Life" (both childfree by choice), are among those interviewed. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">Part of me was rolling my eyes as I read, thinking, "Oh, boo-frickin'-hoo -- welcome to our world! -- At least you got to be a parent!" -- right? </span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">But there's a LOT here that will) sound familiar! </span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">*** *** *** </span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">There was also a live</span><a href="https://www.theglobeandmail.com/canada/article-ask-your-questions-baby-boomer-grandparents/#comments" style="font-family: inherit;" target="_blank"> Q&A with the reporter</a><span style="font-family: inherit;"> earlier today (</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">Jan. 23rd). (Beware some of the comments there too...!) </span></p><p>One reader asked "How are baby boomers who were expecting to fill their time being a grandparent figuring out what to do in their senior years instead?" I thought Bielski's response was really interesting (particularly the part that I've highlighted in boldface): </p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><p>I think baby boomers, as boomers, are primed to change the script and chart their own course. This is an active cohort, a fit cohort, with disposable income and ample opportunities to fill their retired time. It's an adjustment, to be sure, but a necessary one if caregiving for g-kids is no longer in the mix. </p><p><b>I think it's a uniquely North American question: how do we fill retirement time?</b> Can we imagine Italians grappling with that question? (by the way, Italy registered its fewest babies since 1861 in 2022). </p><p>We have to question why we invest so little in our off time, in the years post-career. <b>Why does retirement terrify so many North Americans -- the "filling of time"? And why is it even more terrifying without grandkids to fill the void?</b> </p><p>These questions are even more relevant as birth rates decline and grandkids aren't a guarantee.</p></blockquote><p>(Dh & I often get asked, "What do you DO all day??" Dh came up with what I think is the perfect response: "Whatever we want!" lol) </p><p>Bielski was also asked (in part)(and I'm itching to correct the spelling errors in the original...! lol): </p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;">I think we have to accept that a new normal has evolved - get married later- decide on the question of children , while consciously deciding if that is the right individual/ couple choice. Looking at other's in our social group, those with adult children who have chosen not to parent are bothered - inflicting their values on their kid's. There are lots of opportunities to use one's grandparenting energy on other youths , why not direct oneself there?</p></blockquote><p>Bielski's response (in part -- boldfaced emphasis mine): </p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><p style="text-align: left;">You're pointing to other opportunities to nurture -- other people, other children. And I think that is gradually coming to pass, in some families. <b>The question is whether the rest of us can expand our thinking, our notions of family and fulfillment, and allow these people their ways of adapting to "new normals."</b></p></blockquote><p>Yes! </p>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-7805055815438441352024-01-22T10:13:00.001-05:002024-01-22T10:13:28.449-05:00#MicroblogMondays: Busted? <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4z_sg0K3teORr9wm7YYiyvu96IwJK2Gs71Dw_I8rx8f_MRyFu4V8o5uoiy_MjXhaSGEZGq5DcZ6BQ5fFV-Y4dlYS0cw6QTFzVOcQm4lpumhuGYZz3Cnp4VAH8NmYcIcBWjpLPphMf-ZQMTae_qcFTi3WfpEXcd7eyC1jAmnreMEqkPp-EQKM7DPqV2AA/s175/Microblog_Mondays.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="175" data-original-width="175" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4z_sg0K3teORr9wm7YYiyvu96IwJK2Gs71Dw_I8rx8f_MRyFu4V8o5uoiy_MjXhaSGEZGq5DcZ6BQ5fFV-Y4dlYS0cw6QTFzVOcQm4lpumhuGYZz3Cnp4VAH8NmYcIcBWjpLPphMf-ZQMTae_qcFTi3WfpEXcd7eyC1jAmnreMEqkPp-EQKM7DPqV2AA/w200-h200/Microblog_Mondays.png" width="200" /></a></div>Yesterday, I finished a year-long group read & discussion of Jody Day's classic book for the childless-not-by-choice community, "Living the Life Unexpected" (reviewed slightly more fully on this blog in my most recent post, <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2024/01/living-life-unexpected-by-jody-day-re.html" target="_blank">here</a>). After I wrote the review here, I posted abbreviated versions on both Goodreads & StoryGraph, as I do with all the books I read. <div><br /></div><div>I was, by turns, taken aback, somewhat amused -- and then touched -- to see that a family member -- not a close one, but a relative by marriage -- someone I've known since they were a baby, from the younger generation (who does not have children themselves -- at least, not yet) -- had left a comment -- and so had obviously seen & read -- my Goodreads review. </div><div><br /></div><div>I had to dig around to find the comment. It was simply a heart icon. :) Awwww. </div><div><br /></div><div>Knowing that someone I knew "in real life" had seen something as personal as this would have sent me panicking 10 or 15 years ago (as it did <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search?q=cousin+Facebook+group" target="_blank">here</a>) -- but I do have a couple of family members among my followers on Goodreads. I know it's possible they'll see when I post reviews of books that are obviously about childlessness (in which I sometimes mention my own experiences, albeit not in quite as much detail as I do when I review the same books here on my blog). </div><div><br /></div><div>I know it's also possible this person might tell other family members what they saw.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm (still) not sure I'd be quite so blase if I knew this person (or another family member) was reading my blog...! But I've decided I'm okay with a Goodreads review. ;) <div><p></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts <a href="https://www.stirrup-queens.com/2024/01/microblog-monday-473-worth-pursuing/" target="_blank">here</a>. </i></span></p></div></div>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-6080091783104035012024-01-21T13:45:00.000-05:002024-01-21T13:45:10.152-05:00"Living the Life Unexpected" by Jody Day (re-read) <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhyrfY2ZFTz9pbhXMt59E3neK8f1hAoUZ6UsXF3ugZW4ROcz-uB_HZv2AIXGAGZSaCJAYMEMX3BLYFMzt1FH8WJlVKaoor1JbfEGhvollZ5UD8mM-kWoHblju67AYrWFRXfkUOryv3BMGbY0f9zoHMQwC778zFXkuFOXhy6VrxrHwDiPJ3UXdN2FuT/s1000/Living%20the%20Life%20Unexpected%202nd%20ed.jpg" style="clear: left; color: #249fa3; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="659" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhyrfY2ZFTz9pbhXMt59E3neK8f1hAoUZ6UsXF3ugZW4ROcz-uB_HZv2AIXGAGZSaCJAYMEMX3BLYFMzt1FH8WJlVKaoor1JbfEGhvollZ5UD8mM-kWoHblju67AYrWFRXfkUOryv3BMGbY0f9zoHMQwC778zFXkuFOXhy6VrxrHwDiPJ3UXdN2FuT/w264-h400/Living%20the%20Life%20Unexpected%202nd%20ed.jpg" style="background: rgb(255, 255, 255); border: 1px solid rgb(238, 238, 238); box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.1) 1px 1px 5px; padding: 5px; position: relative;" width="264" /></a></div><p></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">"</span><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/48665534-living-the-life-unexpected" style="background-color: white; color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Living the Life Unexpected</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">" by Jody Day, founder of <a href="https://gateway-women.com/" target="_blank">Gateway Women</a>, is essential reading for women like me who are learning to live without the children we always thought we would have someday. I own and have read both paper and e-book copies of all three editions of the book (including the original </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">"</span><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18839372-rocking-the-life-unexpected?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=5xloFDpV5w&rank=1" style="background-color: white; color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Rocking the Life Unexpected</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">,</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">" crowdfunded by childless women from around the world and self-published by Jody in </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">2013). </span></span></p><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Over the past year, I've been re-reading the book (again!), chapter by chapter, working through (many of) the exercises (something I hadn't really done on earlier readings) and discussing them at monthly Zoom calls in the company of a small group of other childless women from around the world. All of us are members of the private online support community that Jody founded more than a decade ago, now hosted by Katy Seppi under the name <a href="https://members.childlesscollective.com/about" target="_blank">Childless Collective</a>. </span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">This is the second year in a row that I've participated in the "LTLU" book discussion group there, working through the book at the pace of one chapter per month. And e</span>ach time I've read the book, I've noticed things I hadn't before and gained new insights about myself, my childless life and the world around me. </div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222;"><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">There are many more books out there now about life without children than there were a decade ago -- but this one continues to be an invaluable resource for involuntarily childless women (and men), worthy of multiple re-reads. It contains a mixture of personal stories, history, statistics and guidance, as well as questions and exercises designed to get you thinking in new ways about childlessness and what your life might look like, going forward. You don't HAVE to do the exercises, of course -- there is still plenty of benefit to be gained from reading the book without doing them -- but they're a great way to explore your thoughts and gain new insights -- and working through the book with other childless women, as I've been doing over the past year (the past two years, actually!), is a fabulous way to gain new perspectives (and get to know some wonderful other childless women better, too!). </span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: inherit;">We recently completed all 12 chapters in a year-long exploration of the book, so I am counting this as a(nother) re-read. My original rating of 5 stars on Goodreads still stands. :) </span></div><div><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">You can find my previous reviews of this book <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2023/01/living-life-unexpected-by-jody-day-re.html" target="_blank">here</a> (2023) and <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2020/03/living-life-unexpected-by-jody-day.html" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">here</a> (2020), and my 2014 review of the original "Rocking the Life Unexpected" <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2014/01/rocking-life-unexpected-by-jody-day.html" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">here</a>. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">For more information on Jody Day, Gateway Women and "Living the Life Unexpected," check out the <a href="https://gateway-women.com/" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Gateway Women website</a>, which includes <a href="https://www.dropbox.com/s/asysh9tfp92pvxg/LTLU%202020%20Free%20Sample%20-%20Covers%2C%20Intro%2C%20Ch1.pdf?dl=0" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">a link </a>to the introduction and the first chapter of this book. There's also <a href="https://gateway-women.com/community/" target="_blank">a link there</a> to the private Childless Collective online community. A new round of LTLU member discussions is expected to start there shortly! </span></p></div></div><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">This was Book #4 read to date in 2024 (and Book #4 finished in January), bringing me to 9% (!) of my 2024 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 2 books ahead of schedule. :) You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2024 tagged as "<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/2024%20books" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">2024 books</a>." </i></span></p>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-4755474445760643762024-01-17T15:11:00.000-05:002024-01-17T15:11:31.792-05:00"Bel Lamington" by D.E. Stevenson <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-5LktgczY16Vc-vSKayBQWShinATgtHAdYwsj78D90KCu7xzF4aUTfl_rMW7pAgrpoXaQ0LUdQnJjFqzbAVBbYujhyznzt_TrCgaR9cJ-QJjZekN3AA8BI-mb8dSUaHuKLT295jrg-X-kw5PJIjCpiDGCfEbCxVXLmWiW2Svv1snFKQ96rJB7UTglGPE/s500/Bel%20Lamington.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="334" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-5LktgczY16Vc-vSKayBQWShinATgtHAdYwsj78D90KCu7xzF4aUTfl_rMW7pAgrpoXaQ0LUdQnJjFqzbAVBbYujhyznzt_TrCgaR9cJ-QJjZekN3AA8BI-mb8dSUaHuKLT295jrg-X-kw5PJIjCpiDGCfEbCxVXLmWiW2Svv1snFKQ96rJB7UTglGPE/w268-h400/Bel%20Lamington.jpg" width="268" /></a></div>If you've read any/many of <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/D.E.%20Stevenson%20%28author%29" target="_blank">D.E. Stevenson</a>'s other books, the plot of "<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/42737871-bel-lamington" target="_blank">Bel Lamington</a>" (published in 1961) will sound familiar. Orphaned at age 3, Bel (Beatrice Elizabeth Lamington = BEL) was raised by a kind aunt who died two years ago and left Bel penniless, just as she was entering young womanhood. Now working hard as a secretary in a London shipping firm, Bel impresses her immediate boss (one of three partners), but is less popular among the other secretaries and typists. She knows nobody in London and has no social life. Her only outlet is the rooftop garden she creates and tends, outside the window of her flat. <p>Then one day, she comes home to find a strange young man sitting in her garden -- and that encounter becomes the catalyst that changes everything for Bel, as her life begins to take some unexpected twists and turns (ending up in Scotland!). </p><p>This book is a favourite among the "DESsies" in my <a href="https://groups.io/g/DEStevenson" target="_blank">Stevenson group</a>, where we will begin reading and discussing it, chapter by chapter, on Jan. 18th. (I'll count this as a re-read when we're done, later this spring.) It contains the usual DES elements of well-drawn, kind and thoughtful characters (with a dash of selfish & nasty supporting players for contrast and dramatic tension!) and lovely descriptions, particularly of landscapes. (Reading Stevenson's books always makes me want to buy a plane ticket to Scotland, lol.) There are ties here to Stevenson's earlier "Drumburly" trilogy ("<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2016/06/vittoria-cottage-by-de-stevenson.html" target="_blank">Vittoria Cottage</a>," "<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2016/10/music-in-hills-by-de-stevenson.html" target="_blank">Music in the Hills</a>" and "Winter and Rough Weather" -- also known as "<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2017/02/shoulder-sky-by-de-stevenson.html" target="_blank">Shoulder the Sky</a>" -- all of which I've read & reviewed on this blog), and we get to catch up with some of our favourite characters from those books here. </p><p>Detracting slightly from my enjoyment of the book was Bel's friend Louise, the privileged and (frankly) rather air-headed daughter of a doctor. I found her simplistic world view and pronouncements ("Daddy will fix everything"... "How naughty!" etc. etc.) rather annoying. </p><p>On the other hand, Louise provided an interesting contrast to Bel, who has overwhelming (and well-founded) anxieties over her precarious life situation. As I read about Bel's lonely life in London, I couldn't help but think about all the single childless women who struggle to make ends meet and maintain social connections as their friends marry and get busy with children (particularly during the pandemic lockdowns). The office politics she endures also sounded all too familiar! </p><p>(Unsurprisingly), there is a traditional happy ending for Bel -- although (to the author's credit), I was unsure until the last several chapters as to just which male character she was going to wind up with. :) </p><p><b>ALI note</b>: The loss of a baby (both baby & mother unseen, but discussed) is mentioned. Bel and Louise also discuss the lasting impact the loss of their parents/mothers has had on their lives. </p><p>3.5 stars, rounded down to 3. </p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">This was Book #3 read to date in 2024 (and Book #3 finished in January), bringing me to 7% (!) of my 2024 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 1 book ahead of schedule. :) You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2024 tagged as "<a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/2024%20books" style="color: #249fa3; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">2024 books</a>." </i></span></p>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-56635430951420802712024-01-16T07:35:00.002-05:002024-01-16T21:56:01.277-05:00New year odds & ends<ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Well, I did it... I started the <a href="https://footnotesandtangents.substack.com/p/war-and-peace" target="_blank">"chapter-a-day readalong"</a> of "<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/19148579-war-and-peace" target="_blank">War & Peace</a>" on Jan. 1st -- AND <a href="https://footnotesandtangents.substack.com/p/cromwell-trilogy" target="_blank">the Cromwell Trilogy readalong</a> as well, which goes by the nickname "Wolf Crawl" (lol) and follows a weekly schedule. It's still early days (still time to join in yourself...!), but so far, so good. </li><ul><li>W&P has a HUGE cast of characters, some with the same names (!) -- but there is a wiki-style list to refresh your memory as to who's who, a great reader chat to follow, and the chapters are generally short in length -- and much more readable (and funnier!) than you might think. And it's all available for free! (Paid subscribers get bonus posts.) </li><li>"Wolf Hall" is much more dense, both in terms of subject matter and prose style -- but still absorbing, in a different way. In one of the early chapters, Thomas Cromwell's wife tells him why the king (Henry VIII)'s plan to divorce his wife (Catherine of Aragon) -- who, now in her 40s, has only produced a princess and not the male heir Henry craves -- matters: </li></ul></ul><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;">If he tries this … then half the people in the world will be against it… All women everywhere in England. All women who have a daughter but no sons. All women who have lost a child. All women who have lost any hope of having a child. All women who are forty.</blockquote></blockquote></blockquote><div><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px;"><div style="text-align: left;">(Author Hilary Mantel, of course, was childless due to severe endometriosis.) </div></blockquote></blockquote><div><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>My 63rd (!) birthday was last Friday. We marked the occasion with a trip to <a href="https://mcmichael.com/" target="_blank">the nearby art gallery</a> where I have a membership -- which is also what I did on <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2023/01/62.html" target="_blank">my birthday last year</a>! I thought about having lunch at the cafe there, which has lovely ravine views, but it was already pretty busy -- plus the menu is limited and it's rather pricey. So I opted for takeout lunch from the nearby supermarket, with a pasta takeout dinner later from one of our favourite restaurants. After dinner, we had cupcakes from the supermarket for dessert (red velvet with cream cheese frosting). :)</li><ul><li>In between, I treated myself to a couple of new books at the mega-bookstore (aided by a gift card from my sister, plus my regular cardholder discount, plus a birthday discount!). </li><li>Younger Nephew & his wife both texted birthday greetings; Older Nephew, his wife and Little Great-Nephew called, and LGN treated me to a boisterous rendition of "Happy Birthday to You" via speakerphone, lol. </li></ul><li><span style="font-family: inherit;">I spent most of Saturday on my laptop, watching the livestream of the Canadian National Figure Skating Championships from Calgary. CBC, which had the broadcasting rights, chose to show hockey all day Saturday instead -- the new Professional Women's Hockey League games in the afternoon, and NHL in the evening (the NHL has ALWAYS ruled Saturday nights on CBC TV, since it began broadcasting in the early 1950s...!). </span></li><ul><li><span style="font-family: inherit;">I don't begrudge the PWHL some airtime -- goodness knows it's been a LONG time coming...! -- but I have been watching figure skating for more than 50 years (!), and the nationals (or at least, highlights from it) have NEVER NOT been shown on one network or another...! :( And it would have been nice to be able to watch on something larger than my 15" laptop...! </span></li><li><span style="font-family: inherit;">The (not large to begin with) arena was only about half full. :( I can speculate on a number of reasons why: continuing fallout from the pandemic, the brutally cold weather out west, pricey tickets (at a time when people's finances are tight), the lack of star power among the current crop of skaters (compared to years past), the current ban on Russian competitors in international competitions -- well deserved, but admittedly makes things less exciting to watch -- plus we're right between Olympics right now, when interest is always at its lowest -- etc. etc. But! -- you're never going to grow interest in the sport by making it more difficult for people to watch...! </span> :( </li></ul><li>Monday/Last night, we had dinner at Younger Nephew's, along with BIL & SIL. Between pre-Christmas busy-ness, being away over Christmas, and BIL & SIL coming down with covid, we hadn't seen Little Great-Niece (now 10 months old) in two months, and she was great entertainment. :) She was wearing an adorable outfit I'd given her for Christmas -- is now sporting a few tiny teeth, scoots across the floor on all fours, and pulls herself up on the furniture. She was fascinated by my watch, bracelets and cellphone camera (I let her take a few selfies), and exchanged raspberries with a delighted dh. (But of all her visitors, she clearly loved her Nonna/Grandma the best!) Needless to say, we had a good time. :) </li><ul><li>Since they live nearby, and visitor parking at their townhouse complex is scarce, we decided to walk. It didn't take us very long -- only about 5 minutes, maybe a little more -- but it was about -12C/ -19C with the windchill (11F and -2F, respectively) -- and we were walking straight into the wind! Dh -- normally a brisk walker anyway -- was walking even faster to make the trip shorter -- and holy cow, am I ever out of shape...! :p Regular walking is definitely going back on the schedule, once better weather returns...! </li></ul><li>I subscribe to a lot of Substack newsletters (which, to me, are just blogs in another format!). Ohio journalist Connie Schultz (incidentally, married to U.S. Senator Sherrod Brown) has become one of my favourites there. Her most recent post, "<a href="https://connieschultz.substack.com/p/how-a-tweet-became-a-childrens-book" target="_blank">How a Tweet Became a Children's Book</a>," will show you why. (Warning: have kleenex handy.) </li><li>From the <a href="https://oldster.substack.com/" target="_blank">Oldster</a> Substack, edited by Sari Botton, a gorgeous personal essay: "<a href="https://open.substack.com/pub/oldster/p/the-golden-seed?r=1eife&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web" target="_blank">The Golden Seed</a>." Tagline: "At 52, while teaching music in a preschool, Starina Catchatoorian is confronted by her grief over missing out on motherhood." </li><li>This piece, from "Hey Reprotech" by Alison Motluk, is an eye-opener, about the costs (monetary and non) of infertility treatment in Ontario, especially when you live outside an urban area: "<a href="https://www.heyreprotech.com/p/what-i-learned-from-looking-at-one" target="_blank">What I learned from looking at one Ontario woman's $100,000+ expenditure on fertility treatment</a>." </li><li>I know many of us struggle with the idea of legacy and what kind of a mark we're going to leave on the world, if we don't have children. There was <a href="https://wapo.st/48zCMI2" target="_blank">an article about legacy</a> in the Washington Post recently (gift link). Children are mentioned, but NOT having children is also mentioned! and some of the examples given are things we can do whether we have children or not. </li><li>Many of us also struggle with who's going to help us out as we age without children (and, often, without partners and/or extended family members nearby). Jody Day of Gateway Women flagged <a href="https://www.startribune.com/helping-solos-aging-seniors-medical-health-support-linda-j-camp-minnesota/600334386/" target="_blank">this article</a> about a consultant based in St. Paul, Minnesota, who is working for systemic change in this area. </li></ul></div>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-67983774081137755832024-01-15T10:39:00.000-05:002024-01-15T10:39:34.821-05:00#MicroblogMondays: Blue Monday <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheO4hjJ91ZvjT6tQAiSW-b6b0YA0KP1E5-Ynsq-KLULToi2EuVy6WFzA_vllmLODzmv-H0YzNuznXgnqFkEqWuPDmOFkbR0U3tRjJD1kIrKC3CSTGbWRP5HhN7aMjVnIt4Fxtol6cd4XAVhDTy_bC6DiS3aJrpe9FxRxLN-eOxECbN0Zsj2xwE1K38lpM/s175/Microblog_Mondays.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="175" data-original-width="175" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheO4hjJ91ZvjT6tQAiSW-b6b0YA0KP1E5-Ynsq-KLULToi2EuVy6WFzA_vllmLODzmv-H0YzNuznXgnqFkEqWuPDmOFkbR0U3tRjJD1kIrKC3CSTGbWRP5HhN7aMjVnIt4Fxtol6cd4XAVhDTy_bC6DiS3aJrpe9FxRxLN-eOxECbN0Zsj2xwE1K38lpM/w200-h200/Microblog_Mondays.png" width="200" /></a></div>It's "<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Monday_(date)" target="_blank">Blue Monday</a>," that day in January (the third Monday) deemed (by marketers, if not scientists, lol) the most depressing in the year. I've written about Blue Monday several times in the past -- in fact, I did a search for past posts and thought, "I've written about this enough, I should create a hashtag/label for it." Then I realized <a href="https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/search/label/Blue%20Monday" target="_blank">I already did</a>! (lol -- check out my other Blue Monday posts there). <div><p></p><p>I was reminded that it was Blue Monday when I spotted an article in The Toronto Star this weekend: "<a href="https://www.thestar.com/life/6-science-backed-ways-to-brighten-your-blue-monday/article_d12cc9f2-b176-11ee-a9c7-fb9a4964ca78.html" target="_blank">6 science-backed ways to brighten your Blue Monday</a>" (No gift links available, sorry -- so I hope that works!) In summary (in case the link doesn't work for you), the advice is: </p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Enlist the power of awe: The feeling of being part of something much larger than you are has tangible physical benefits. (Even just reading a good book can do the trick.) </li><li>Get moving: The link between exercise and well-being is firmly established.</li><li>Do something fun with people you like: Social connection is important. </li><li>Use warm light to improve sleep. </li><li>Take a dose of (very) dark chocolate: Cocoa can boost your mood. </li><li>Put down the pinot: Cutting out booze can lift the spirits. (Dry January, anyone?) </li></ul><div>How are you feeling today? </div><div><br /></div><div>(It's pretty cold here -- albeit not quite as cold as it is in western Canada and the U.S. Midwest! It was -13C/-18C windchill this morning, which works out to 8F & 0F, respectively. But the sun is shining, and I even see a bit of blue sky peeking through the clouds, which makes a HUGE difference for me!) </div><p></p><p><i>You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts <a href="https://www.stirrup-queens.com/2024/01/microblog-monday-472-mindful-eating/#" target="_blank">here</a>. </i></p></div>loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.com3