The cousin who organized the gathering brought along her 14-year-old daughter and a friend, who declined to join us in the private room we'd booked, preferring to sit by themselves in the general dining room (although not opposed, of course, to having Mom foot their bill, lol). I was the only childless adult woman there (as I almost always am in these situations). Several of the women with daughters commented that this would be the perfect place for a mother-daughter outing, and the women with only sons nodded, agreeing that "You really need a daughter to bring to places like this." Or maybe, eventually, a daughter-in-law.
19 years ago, a comment like that would have sent me running for the privacy of the washroom, fighting back tears. I guess I've developed the hide of a rhinoceros when it comes to these things. because I barely flinched. Internally, I still winced, of course. I was relieved when the conversation moved on to a different subject.
But yes. It would have been nice.
You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.
I know, I still get these feelings too. I doubt they will ever totally disappear. At least now I can sometimes have a conversation about things (like I stopping scrapbooking because I just feel like there is no one but me to care about it) without crying.
ReplyDeleteI am also allergic to tomatoes. Are you allergic to them in all forms or just raw?
ReplyDeleteI've had reactions to both raw & cooked. :( I do need to get retested again, though; I had an oral challenge test a few years ago & ate almost an entire (raw) tomato before a hive popped up, which was progress... I had some scratch tests done a year ago but they were inconclusive, so I really need to do the oral challenge again.
DeleteOuch. Yes, we get used to comments like this, and outwardly manage not to react, but they still hurt inside. Hugs as you thought of Katie.
ReplyDeletePS It looks like a lovely place to go to with a good girlfriend. I met an Internet friend for the first time for afternoon tea in Claridges in London.
They serve afternoon tea at this place too. :) (Hint, hint...) ;)
DeleteWincing over here. Completely with eye-rolls and shudders. Because even if not meant to hurt, what a hard comment for anyone who has lost a daughter or a mother (or both). Many hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteThat place sounds amazing -- as someone with celiac, I so appreciate when restaurants make an effort to make delicious gluten free food. Tomatoes, huh? That stinks.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you were spared a run to the washroom. That comment is so strange to me, because it's like, why couldn't you bring a girlfriend to that place? Why couldn't you go with anyone who would appreciate it? Why do some things have to be considered mother-daughter only? Sigh. Sending you a hug for that internal wince, for those things that stab from the inside out.
Sending a big eye roll from here too! Glad you were able to have an awesome time, however.
ReplyDeleteI really hope the conversation moved on sooner rather than later, but I know it rarely does. Ouch.
ReplyDeleteMy Mom was in the presence of some women recently, one who goes on (or as I label it, onandfuckingon) about her grandchildren and one who would have liked to have had children but it didn't work out (not sure of the exact circumstances). After some continuous rambling about her grandchildren which of course included pictures, my Mom asked pointedly asked the woman without children if she had any pictures of her recent trip to Cuba. After a couple of prompts, grandma was on board.
Looks like a nice place. I'd also appreciate the dairy free options being lactose intolerant! It's the kind of place that would be nice to go with anyone really, friend/family member.
ReplyDelete