tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post3142989728710614008..comments2024-03-26T08:06:19.661-04:00Comments on The Road Less Travelled: "Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200."loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-83894424804566816422014-05-21T11:00:44.753-04:002014-05-21T11:00:44.753-04:00reposted: http://thebitterbabe.com/2014/05/21/bor...reposted: http://thebitterbabe.com/2014/05/21/bored-games/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-45345513257691652072008-03-30T12:23:00.000-04:002008-03-30T12:23:00.000-04:00"The big question that anyone trying to live child..."The big question that anyone trying to live childfree after loss & infertility has to face is, "If I'm not going to be a parent, what am I going to do with the rest of my life?" We're still trying to figure that one out, & I have a feeling that it's going to be a lifelong process."<BR/><BR/>Very well-said - that is my biggest struggle as well. It is hard not to feel like I should be doing something much more exciting or trying to change the world in some grand way. There is a certain feeling of needing to affirm that a life without having children is still worth living.<BR/><BR/>Your post is a good reminder that those affirmations can come in the quiet ways - just being able to move forward, together, in a way that is true to yourself is in itself an affirmation - and a powerful one at that.<BR/><BR/>Thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-287070773987393552008-03-29T08:10:00.000-04:002008-03-29T08:10:00.000-04:00My biggest fear is being alone if something happen...My biggest fear is being alone if something happens to my husband.doublemehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18411365585322170504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-2539973971139164722008-03-28T19:29:00.000-04:002008-03-28T19:29:00.000-04:00Another great reflection on coming to terms with a...Another great reflection on coming to terms with all of this...<BR/><BR/>Thanks Loribeth, for writing it.<BR/><BR/>I have been having similar thoughts. I had been kind of thinking that, well, we can take all these great trips, or really decorate the house beautifully, but the truth is, we get up, we go to work, we come home and just live a quiet life. We are both homebodies as well, and I was looking forward to being in my home with my children. <BR/><BR/>I try to frame it this way - my life of childlessness after infertility is like my life of childlessness during fertility, but without all the treatments, and the rollercoaster of hope and dread. <BR/><BR/>So I try to think of that as better, and in some ways it is a lot better, and in other ways it feels pretty final and empty.<BR/><BR/>AlacrityAlacrityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12875591638441877915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-79874842329462321512008-03-28T13:19:00.000-04:002008-03-28T13:19:00.000-04:00great post. we've been talking about this a lot l...great post. we've been talking about this a lot lately. the question of how we will cope and what we will do. my husband believes that if it doesn't happen for us we need to accept it and get back to living. he has no illusions about that being easy, and knows for me it will be a lifelong process. but his attitude is such that he is already trying to come to terms, and I am just not there. I think about what we would do differently, whether we'd move away or travel -- but we still have our jobs and life commitments. it is not a romantic notion at all... ~lunalunahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15455301696832647867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-3478693904116372062008-03-28T11:42:00.000-04:002008-03-28T11:42:00.000-04:00Thanks for all your comments. Zhl, I went over to...Thanks for all your comments. Zhl, I went over to your blog & can totally relate to your most recent post! <BR/><BR/>Deathstar & Ellen -- you both reminded me about something I read in an article on retirement planning (!), in which a retirement planner who was urging people to look at the whole picture, not just the financial stuff, but what they actually wanted to DO when they retired. He said when asks people about their retirement goals, what they picture themeselves doing, so many people will say, "We want to travel." He points out that most people will not be travelling 12 months of the year -- & how are they going to fill the rest of their time? That's sort of the way I feel. Everyone says, "Oh, if you don't have kids, you can travel!" Well, we still have to work -- there is only so much time & money for vacations & travelling. How do you fill the rest of that time & make it meaningful (while still dealing with the day-to-day routine drudgery that everyone has to deal with, whether or not they have kids)? That's the question.loribethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-73824933416204352722008-03-28T10:26:00.000-04:002008-03-28T10:26:00.000-04:00I loved reading this-thank you for sharing your tr...I loved reading this-thank you for sharing your truthful thoughts..I was captured by each sentence--it really made me sit back and think about living child free. <BR/><BR/>Thank you for your comment--I really apprecaite your encouraging words about the support group.JJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18027548058304720360noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-25795288127703587832008-03-28T09:01:00.000-04:002008-03-28T09:01:00.000-04:00I have not thought that the answers are that easy;...I have not thought that the answers are that easy; so many people say "I would do this, or that" (usually involving travel), but really, it's just finding a new way to carve out a piece of happiness.<BR/><BR/>This poem fits my own vision:<BR/><BR/>http://southcitysadie.typepad.com/miss_e_musings/2006/09/a_poem.htmlAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-82384253392372078372008-03-28T00:13:00.000-04:002008-03-28T00:13:00.000-04:00I don't know what to say - your post touched me in...I don't know what to say - your post touched me in so many ways Lori.JuliaShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10668995954240697998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-82055820485065349362008-03-27T23:08:00.000-04:002008-03-27T23:08:00.000-04:00My husband suggested once that if we didn't have k...My husband suggested once that if we didn't have kids, we could always travel. I thought it was an inane comment, as if travelling the world could make up for not fulfilling the desire for a child. And I also wondered why he thought the two were mutually exclusive. While we wait for a child to adopt, I often wonder what would happen to us if we changed our mind. Would our lives be better? Or just different?Deathstarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03925549983959400448noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-87156637838473726872008-03-27T22:08:00.000-04:002008-03-27T22:08:00.000-04:00Perfectly expressed sentiments. I'm so sorry this ...Perfectly expressed sentiments. I'm so sorry this week's anniversaries are so difficult.zhlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09362871976342570385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-52953203105780120312008-03-27T22:07:00.000-04:002008-03-27T22:07:00.000-04:00What a perfect post. You've completely expressed w...What a perfect post. You've completely expressed what I've been feeling. <BR/><BR/>(I'm sure all the anniversaries must be so hard for you. I'm sorry.)zhlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09362871976342570385noreply@blogger.com