tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post4222095445253682272..comments2024-03-26T08:06:19.661-04:00Comments on The Road Less Travelled: The stigma of a childless/free life loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-16453838364692767382018-01-01T20:46:30.919-05:002018-01-01T20:46:30.919-05:00I remember reading this, but obviously didn't ...I remember reading this, but obviously didn't get back to comment. Better late than never?<br /><br />I certainly agree with the stigma and judgement, and your comment on superiority. <br /><br />And yes, it is good reason for us to continue blogging.Malihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03928262526502319303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-37386409034272880192017-03-14T17:26:42.025-04:002017-03-14T17:26:42.025-04:00Fascinating stuff. I definitely get the judgement ...Fascinating stuff. I definitely get the judgement part, and the "oh man your life just isn't so full" part, even with still slogging uphill to keep trying to add that one child. I have a smattering of friends who chose not to have children, some more adamant than others, and I'm always amazed at the things people say to them. I believe that piece about parents being less satisfied with their marriages. Not as a generalization, but that I can see that being true for many who put so much energy into their kids and the kids become the focus, and then you sort of lose sight of the two of you. I always look to couples who put their marriage first as inspiration in that manner (even though they get crap from people, too). Thanks for sharing these perspectives!Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-72368910226736308412017-03-08T22:37:43.580-05:002017-03-08T22:37:43.580-05:00I know you keep your blog kind of on the down low,...I know you keep your blog kind of on the down low, but I think you should be publishing articles! (And I'm not just saying that.) I grew up in a family with an aunt and great aunt who didn't have children (by choice and by happenstance) so it never felt abnormal to me. It always seemed to be framed as a legit choice I could make. (Once I asked my mom why my aunt lived in a house on a golf course with s swimming pool and we didn't. My mom replied without missing a beat, "We had kids instead.") It wasn't really even snarky--just like "different people make different choices and both ways are happy and ok."<br /><br />This might sound harsher than I want it to, but I wonder sometimes if we overstate the joys of parenting as a way to justify our own mediocrity... like I could have been an awesome whatever but I decided to focus on my kids instead... (is that terrible of me to suggest?).<br /><br />My cousin who is closest to me in age is now approaching 40, has been married 13 years, and does not have children. We haven't discussed it directly in years, but I am quite certain this was not her choice. I'm sad for her if she has missed out on something she wanted, but I also admire the happy (pet-full) life she has created. <br /><br />And I still wish parenting were a meritocracy.Brookehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05946311309467296976noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-33545505456007678152017-03-08T19:07:26.020-05:002017-03-08T19:07:26.020-05:00Thank you, Raven, for the huge compliment!! :) I a...Thank you, Raven, for the huge compliment!! :) I agree that too many people have kids without thinking WHY they want to be parents (other than "that's what you do...") and whether they're actually cut out for the job. loribethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-68055144227225557562017-03-08T14:46:15.442-05:002017-03-08T14:46:15.442-05:00About 3 years into our fertility battle, I went th...About 3 years into our fertility battle, I went through a very depressing time while I tried to determine what kind of life I could possibly have without children. Everything in me insisted there was NO kind of life that would be good or worthwhile without kids. Then, I stumbled across your blog and others like you and realized - wait a minute, there is a life after infertility. There is actually a normal life (contrary to what society and my family had ingrained in me) and there is NOTHING wrong with being childless/free...it was a complete game changer (thank you!!). <br /><br />There are many people who shouldn't have kids (for hundreds of reasons) but do because the stigma tells them they have to. In the end, its the parents and the kids who suffer. I know, because I was born to a woman who didn't want kids but had them because she was told she should...because society had convinced her there was no other way for a woman to live. And it was HARD...so hard, and it still is so hard. While I am thankful to be alive, I wonder what would have happened if she had been free to choose child-free living...Ravenhttp://www.ravenrambling.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.com