tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post5203784080921256834..comments2024-03-18T16:57:09.742-04:00Comments on The Road Less Travelled: In a tizzy about being busyloribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-18969117958933790252021-07-21T19:50:50.689-04:002021-07-21T19:50:50.689-04:00I stand by my earlier comment: "And busy is b...I stand by my earlier comment: "And busy is busy, and tired is tired, no matter how you got there." This needs to be a motto. And anti-Pain Olympics.Lollipop Goldsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-1151956911819155352018-01-06T22:48:49.114-05:002018-01-06T22:48:49.114-05:00Thank you so much for sharing this post with me......Thank you so much for sharing this post with me... So true. There is that sorry of assumption that with kids you are busier, tireder, and without you just shouldn't complain. It's crap. I love your grief-o-meter statement. I guess comparison is part of human nature, but it's just not useful at all. Sigh... And I agree with people above--we were told all the time to "live it up" while trying, that we wouldn't have time when we were successful, and very few people understood just how exhausting and stressful those years of being childfree while desperately trying to not be weren't luxurious at all. Great post!Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-12196450459044422112011-04-10T22:30:17.928-04:002011-04-10T22:30:17.928-04:00Thanks so much for the reference to this post. It ...Thanks so much for the reference to this post. It really spoke to me. At the end of last year I was feeling completely stressed and yet I didn't have a full-time job (part of the stress) or kids, and I felt like a total fraud saying I was stressed. But my body showed me I was. I like the grief-o-meter statement - and stress or being tired is the same.Malihttp://aseparatelife.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-12421189033569181802009-08-14T12:13:08.410-04:002009-08-14T12:13:08.410-04:00Great post! You explained SO many things that I co...Great post! You explained SO many things that I couldn't really find the words for! I feel the same way! It's incredibly annoying and frustrating when parents try to minimize the fact that us without children couldn't POSSIBLY be "tired" or "busy"... <br /><br />Thanks for stopping by my blog! I enjoyed reading your post on this similar subject ;)Alisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00563451640374850189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-20908128133524054602008-01-07T17:22:00.000-05:002008-01-07T17:22:00.000-05:00Thanks for writing this post. I really agree with...Thanks for writing this post. I really agree with you that there is no grief-o-meter.HereWeGoAJenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17457680345376171720noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-15664596559402099142008-01-05T14:46:00.000-05:002008-01-05T14:46:00.000-05:00Coming from the Creme..This is a great post.I do r...Coming from the Creme..<BR/><BR/>This is a great post.<BR/><BR/>I do relate in a few ways. I have a scrapbooking club I go to, and the women were always bringing their newborns in, etc. and I was there trying to forget about our troubles in having another child. It was hard and very alienating.Delennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12567889031642608101noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-67509012976522969012008-01-04T03:19:00.000-05:002008-01-04T03:19:00.000-05:00I saw this article in a women's magazine once. Th...I saw this article in a women's magazine once. They trailed four women for a week to see who had the most free time.<BR/><BR/>1. Married, at-home mum of four.<BR/>2. Working mum of one.<BR/>3. At-home single mum of one.<BR/>4. Childless, working woman.<BR/><BR/>The one with the LEAST free time was number four. The one with the MOST free time was number one. Kids don't automatically equal busy and tired - you have to take a person's life as a whole.<BR/><BR/>But try getting people to believe that.<BR/><BR/>BeaBeahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11877513815828460269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-9701806268033699922007-12-07T13:24:00.000-05:002007-12-07T13:24:00.000-05:00This is the first time I have come to your blog bu...This is the first time I have come to your blog but I WILL be back to visit. You are so right. Busy is Busy and Tired is Tired. Your schedule sounds a lot like mine. Having children doesn't make you more busy, just busy in a different way. You are so right it is just different priorities in different things. Working two jobs and spending time with my husband, and being in my church groups doesn't make me less busy than somebody who is running their kids to different activities. Good Post!Kathy Vhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15658449843683175580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-23803611184669078792007-12-07T13:05:00.000-05:002007-12-07T13:05:00.000-05:00came over from Stirrup Queens - I so completely re...came over from Stirrup Queens - I so completely resonate with this post. I'm part of an activist group at home and when some members started having children they really began to withdraw from the group - social events as well - and it was really hard to be on the other side of that divide. To be exhausted and overcommitted and not to have that "out" that everybody else seemed to have.E. Phantzihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05812948199658356521noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-27341322449637029352007-12-07T11:19:00.000-05:002007-12-07T11:19:00.000-05:00Love your post, it's so true. I also lost my only...Love your post, it's so true. I also lost my only pg at 5 mos. after 10 yrs of marriage and 2 yrs ttc... 2 yrs later we are on our last chance attempt and if it fails we are facing a CF future... I swear it's as if people think we have nothing else to do even though we work hard long days and try to build our life without kids. It's as if our time and energy is de-valued because it's not spent childrearing, much as we would have loved things to be different... <BR/><BR/>Someone once insisted that our free time is a "luxury" we should be grateful for -- first, who has lots of "free" time? and yes, of course, infertility is such a "luxury"! argh. <BR/><BR/>Anyway, I'm so sorry this group of women is not more compassionate about your current situation. I hope you get through the holiday season with your spirit in tact. Thanks for the post. <BR/><BR/>cheers, <BR/>amy s.lunahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15455301696832647867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-10976574702848241172007-12-02T22:58:00.000-05:002007-12-02T22:58:00.000-05:00Agreed.Part of our pronatalist culture requires th...Agreed.<BR/><BR/>Part of our pronatalist culture requires that we support and recognize the needs of parents -- but to what extent? I'm wondering this in my own life, as my college roommate, the working mother of a toddler, hasn't returned any of my emails/calls in several months. I am sure she will inevitably plead frantic parenthood -- and I'm not in a place to admit that excuse.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-36167316687311635632007-12-02T16:30:00.000-05:002007-12-02T16:30:00.000-05:00Hi! Found you via Ellen, I believe. In any case, I...Hi! Found you via Ellen, I believe. In any case, I'm glad to "meet" you. <BR/><BR/>I think one of the hardest parts of IF has been that silent judgment of others. Like you said, it could be my own insecurities, but sometimes it feels like they're making assumptions about me and my life. Whether it be how busy (or not) I am, or the cause of our IF, or why we don't "just adopt" ... I see it on their faces and hear it in their words. I'm excluded. I couldn't possibly understand. To which I respond the same, as neither could they possibly understand. Such is life, I guess :-) I do try to be empathetic and wish others could do the same!<BR/><BR/>You're a great writer. I'm looking forward to reading back through your posts.Irish Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13222992447645337845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-91686682532542520022007-12-01T22:47:00.000-05:002007-12-01T22:47:00.000-05:00I love the last line--huge cheer. You should put ...I love the last line--huge cheer. You should put that quote on your sidebar.<BR/><BR/>It's a strange sensation to have a group of people who are simultaneously as close as can be and as far as can be from you emotionally.Lollipop Goldsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-10034606568763488592007-12-01T18:33:00.000-05:002007-12-01T18:33:00.000-05:00I actually feel guilty saying to mothers "I'm busy...I actually feel guilty saying to mothers "I'm busy." I think they're thinking "How could SHE be busy?"doublemehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18411365585322170504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-37845062906672952042007-11-30T22:45:00.000-05:002007-11-30T22:45:00.000-05:00I'm sorry to hear you are so busy, tired and stres...I'm sorry to hear you are so busy, tired and stressed lately. the holidays sure don't make that any easier. <BR/><BR/>I wish your scrapping group of friends didn't have that underlying current of "busier/more fulfilled/whatever" than thou :( I hope you have good friends taht you can talk to who aren't like that. I am fortunate to have a few good friends that I can be free with, but I find that often in groups of women there seems to be almost a competitive tendency to establish who is 'the most' - at whatever. Guys seem to work out their competitiveness in other ways (this could be a generalization?) I wish women could be more understanding adn supportive w/o feeling the need to position as 'my business is more important than yours.' It feels dismissive and lowering. <BR/><BR/>Incidentally I have 2 friends from highschool, W and B - all 3 of us in different stages in life - W is CF, I have 2 kids after IF, B is unmarried/not in a relationship. B is the busiest of the 3 of us, I would say - with all the volunteer work, stuff she does for family & friends - it is hardest to find a weekend where she is free, So being CF and being single does NOT mean one is not busy.<BR/><BR/>I hope this weekend brings you a lift in spirits, some pampering, whatever it is you need. I am sorry you are going through such a rough time.<BR/><BR/>(((((hugs)))))<BR/><BR/>AndieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com