tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post5799936979048225519..comments2024-03-26T08:06:19.661-04:00Comments on The Road Less Travelled: If I'd known then...loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-41334475465147300292009-12-01T22:14:44.671-05:002009-12-01T22:14:44.671-05:00I'm LMAO @ the thought of you watching South P...I'm LMAO @ the thought of you watching South Park with your 10 year old nephew. I *know* I've seen that episode and I can only imagine. <br /><br />***<br /><br />I know I haven't commented here a lot lately. But I still read regularly. Not always on time, but eventually. For some reason I just wanted you to know that. :)Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07923049494756911105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-72209325674477763602009-11-27T16:19:07.355-05:002009-11-27T16:19:07.355-05:00I also saw a connection between your last post (th...I also saw a connection between your last post (the BBC program) and this one.Quiet Dreamshttp://dreamsofquiet.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-9401054950446631812009-11-27T16:19:07.356-05:002009-11-27T16:19:07.356-05:00Beautiful post. My nieces and nephew mean so much...Beautiful post. My nieces and nephew mean so much to me. One of the best things about returning to the state where my family lives in the wake of my separation/divorce is being able to be more involved in their lives and to see them more frequently. My oldest niece is (already!!) almost twelve, and the rest are quite a bit younger, but the day when they are heading off to college and the great beyond will be here before I know it. Thank you for this reminder.Quiet Dreamshttp://dreamsofquiet.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-89001113266797089932009-11-26T20:07:03.483-05:002009-11-26T20:07:03.483-05:00It sounds to me like you have been an excellent Au...It sounds to me like you have been an excellent Aunt and Uncle. And it also sounds like these boys know it, even if they can't express it outright.CLChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08030787972960755420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-12558492901778787332009-11-26T04:49:17.805-05:002009-11-26T04:49:17.805-05:00I can't speak to this from an IF perspective B...I can't speak to this from an IF perspective BUT I can speak to as as a parent who has brothers and sisters that I love dearly and who I want to be huge parts of my childrens lives. I look at it as a whole package. My siblings can give my kids things that I can not, they can give them parts and perspectives of my past, perspectives of history that are different and told from anothers voice. I love this and so do my kids. <br />It sounds very much to me that you have created a special bond with your nephews. They may not be able to verbalize it to you (boys are always so troubled with communication anyway) but they know. <br />And as they come into this young adulthood they will apprecaite you and the husband even more. <br />And they will love all of the photos and memories you captured for them. Those are priceless.<br /><br />And so are you.k@laklyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05366772609212990882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-58823489524208780222009-11-25T15:59:30.487-05:002009-11-25T15:59:30.487-05:00What handsome young men! Thanks for sharing your ...What handsome young men! Thanks for sharing your feelings about them as they have grown up. I bet they think you are the cool aunt and will visit you in the old folks home! I tell my teenage nieces and nephew all the time that they will be taking care of me whether they like it or not when I'm an old lady - haha. <br /><br />I have found that I'm not as close to my toddler niece and nephew on my husband's side; I've wanted to withdraw due to sadness about my infertility, but your post reminded me to move past it so I can be a big part of their young lives. Thanks.Soapchickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13899175649394809612noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-32528790840910425602009-11-25T11:30:13.563-05:002009-11-25T11:30:13.563-05:00It sounds like you've done well by them, Lorib...It sounds like you've done well by them, Loribeth, and they'll do well by you. I always enjoy your descriptions of them - and think of them when I read my daily "Zits" comic!<br /><br />I remember that in the books and articles about resolving IF without children, the benefit of being closer to nieces and nephews is often discussed as a perk, and almost as an automatic perk, as though we were living in Victorian times and had a bunch of relatives jockeying for favor with the childless and presumably rich aunt or uncle. It might be a perk, but it's definitely not automatic. Awhile ago I realized that D. and I were never going to be the "favorites" among his nephews and niece. They were spending so much time with their cousins, always playing together and thus having more memories of outings, cozy lunches, etc. with the aunt who was an actual parent, too. I had often offered to babysit or take all the kids out to the zoo, movies, etc., but was always rebuffed: "Oh, you don't need to spend your free time; it's easier for [other aunt] to do so, she has kids, lives right in town, etc." A lot of factors can interfere with an aunt or uncle's inclination. The pain of infertility is only one of those factors. Contemporary kids are SO overscheduled that there really aren't many opportunities for bonding. If I wanted to spend every Saturday watching 9-year-olds play soccer, I could do so. If we wanted to take the kids to a minor league game on a certain date, that would literally require months of planning and schedule-checking.<br /><br />I remember reading in "Sweet Grapes" that the author and her husband treated each niece or nephew to a trip to Europe or Asia if they completed so many years of foreign language study. That's very nice, but certainly not realistic for most people! And I can't imagine D.'s sisters ever allowing us that kind of leeway. That's the thing -- the parents have to let the aunt and uncle in, too.Ellen K.http://southcitysadie.typepad.com/miss_e_musings/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-41661437954106404042009-11-25T10:04:18.308-05:002009-11-25T10:04:18.308-05:00Thank you for this post. My husband and I have re...Thank you for this post. My husband and I have recently made the decision to be childfree after dealing with infertility (and a loss) over the last three years. My sister is expecting her first child in March. I need to move on and be a part of that child's life and let go of the bitterness. Thank you for sharing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com