tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post7715510241324061872..comments2024-03-29T13:16:16.890-04:00Comments on The Road Less Travelled: The waiting is the hardest part...loribethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-69133708124549595262018-02-11T15:04:58.341-05:002018-02-11T15:04:58.341-05:00Tricky, tricky. It really is difficult to weigh ou...Tricky, tricky. It really is difficult to weigh out financial readiness/security with fertile years. Seems unfair that as you become more financially secure your fertility drops, as a general rule. So, I had an uncle and aunt who didn't have children, and I STILL don't know their actual story. The rumors and gossip flew through my family (she didn't want them and he did, they loved their dogs as family and that was enough, etc.) but when we were in the thick of things one my other uncles told us that we shouldn't talk to the childless one about our situation because it was too upsetting, opened old wounds. So I have a sneaking suspicion that they wanted children, it didn't happen, there were fewer choices/options then (they are in their late 70s), and everyone just ASSUMED because it was verboten to ask (or they just plain assumed). So I kind of agree with Cristy that maybe they don't know your story to the extent that you might think they do. But how do you say something without putting undue pressure on them? I have THREE situations where I did mention to friends who were "waiting until later" or who talked like having kids was an eventuality, and they got pregnant NO PROBLEM. One friend started trying earlier than they'd planned because she knew me and another friend with fertility issues, and then got pregnant the first month they tried, which they weren't prepared for. Such a fine line, deciding what to say, what to share, if you want to try to sway at all. <br /><br />But I hope it all works out and you get to blow some money on baby things for them! Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15868505568965284742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-4964809721181908152018-02-11T11:04:25.012-05:002018-02-11T11:04:25.012-05:00Thin line to walk, for sure. I concur that you'...Thin line to walk, for sure. I concur that you're taking the path that I would. Lori Lavender Luzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15394441222262940632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-10041896651311331282018-02-09T19:17:14.453-05:002018-02-09T19:17:14.453-05:00Heh. I have to bite my tongue sometimes when I fee...Heh. I have to bite my tongue sometimes when I feel like people are making assumptions about their fertility. I mean, I want to share what I know. But I agree it’s better not to make assumptions about other people or their choices. I have been pretty open with my so far childfree friends about our challenges so I gave to trust if they want information of support they’d ask. And I have a good spidey sense for when people might be struggling....so if I’m not getting that wavelength I don’t commenttorthúilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07738803052167620020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-7308144860663965792018-02-06T13:23:27.374-05:002018-02-06T13:23:27.374-05:00I've had to have this sort of conversation wit...I've had to have this sort of conversation with a younger woman at work recently, who knows about my infertility and babyloss. I said that I would urge anyone to try for a family when they were younger, citing myself as a reason not to delay things; that I'd known of many ladies who thought they would delay motherhood until their mid to late 30's which had turned out to be too late for some and that I'd hate anyone deliberating about having kids waiting too long and the fertility time clock running out on them. It's a fine line deciding whether to divulge this sort of thing or not though, isn't it? Bamberlambhttp://inconceivable.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3178366214524455884.post-48592756861695556462018-02-02T13:44:36.271-05:002018-02-02T13:44:36.271-05:00It’s such a catch 22. We spend our 20s getting our...It’s such a catch 22. We spend our 20s getting ourselves on our feet only to then deal with waning fertility later in life. I have thoughts for solutions (*cough* society making things affordable *cough*), but it’s a lot harder and your nephews are likely very aware.<br /><br />That said, even though they do have you as an example, I wonder if they truly know your story. I’m not suggesting pushing, but the full stories I thought I knew didn’t come out until later on in my life and I remember being shocked by the details everyone else seemed to gloss over. So maybe it’s worth exploring sharing?Cristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04317873211902543387noreply@blogger.com