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Wednesday, November 14, 2007

She would have been 9 years old today. :(

Today was my due date in 1998. The first one they gave me, anyway. With each ultrasound (I had five in all), they revised the date, but since this was the first, it has stuck in my mind. 

Nine years. What a different life we would be leading right now, if only... 

What kind of a birthday party would we be planning for this weekend? Does anyone else in the world remember that, nine years ago, we were supposed to have a baby right about now? 

Of course, one of my colleagues on parental leave picked today to bring the 22-month-old girl she & her dh have adopted to the office to show off. I know she has had her own problems building the family she has wanted, and the child is absolutely adorable... but why today?? And a dad also on parental leave came in for awhile (sans infant, thankllfuy), but of course, full of news about his own bundle of joy. ARGH... 

Eight years ago, I would have fled to the bathroom in tears. I haven't cried (yet?)... but I have been very, very tired all day. I think next year (the big 10) is going to be a toughie. : ( 

Happy birthday, dear Katie. Mommy & Daddy love you.
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9 comments:

  1. Pamela T.Thursday, November 15, 2007 3:09:00 AM

    I'll remember with you...

    I'm so sorry. It's beyond criminal that such heartache should be visited on anyone -- and it's doubly cruel when it happens to good, kind and responsible people. You're in my thoughts.

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  2. AnonymousThursday, November 15, 2007 9:02:00 AM

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I wish you could have been alone with your grief on this day, rather than surrounded by other children.

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  3. Lollipop GoldsteinThursday, November 15, 2007 1:46:00 PM

    This line broke my heart: "Does anyone else in the world remember that, nine years ago, we were supposed to have a baby right about now?" I'm so sorry, Loribeth.

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  4. ms. GThursday, November 15, 2007 7:36:00 PM

    Thinking of you, and Katie. Sorry you had to be around the happy go lucky at work. My co-worker had a baby in March of this year, I got *sick* on the baby shower day. I just couldn't do it.

    On another note, may I add you to my blogroll?

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  5. Ms HeathenFriday, November 16, 2007 9:14:00 AM

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. Please know that both you and Katie are in my thoughts.

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  6. AureliaFriday, November 16, 2007 1:35:00 PM

    I'm sorry Loribeth, this is so sad. I'm remembering right here with you.

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  7. loribethFriday, November 16, 2007 6:32:00 PM

    Thank you all for remembering my daughter along with me. I think that's one of the saddest parts of losing a child, the total silence on the part of others after awhile.

    And Ms G, I'd be honoured to be on your blogroll!

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  8. deannaMonday, November 19, 2007 6:44:00 AM

    Thinking of you, and your Katie.........

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  9. EsperanzaMonday, November 19, 2007 3:36:00 PM

    I'm very sorry.

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