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Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Differing perspectives...

So I was at my desk this morning & I noticed that my pregnant co-worker hadn't shown up yet. Someone else said, "Where is she?" & one of the 20-somethings squealed, "Oh yes -- she's finding out the sex today!!" -- i.e., having an ultrasound.

I bowed my head at my desk & prayed that would be all she found out today.

She came in around 11 & headed straight for our boss's office (near mine) & proceeded to spill the beans -- the baby wasn't co-operating (again), but the technician is 60% sure it's a girl, blah blah. Everyone was giggling & chattering excitedly.

I stayed at my desk, struggling to focus on my work -- wishing with all my heart that I could return to the days when an ultrasound only meant finding out the baby's gender & getting a keepsake photo.

12 comments:

  1. ((((hugs))))
    This pain just never goes away. I'm so sorry it hit you again today at the office. YOu'd think there would be some "safe zone" somewhere ...

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  2. Amnio to me has such a different connotation; might as well go to the Sears portrait studio and get it in a cardboard frame when you're through for all the good it did me.

    In any event: Hard to know for some it's merely "boy or girl?" while others it's "alive or dead?" For me it will always be just a weigh station, and despite good news will have zero impact on the final outcome. Sorry you had to be privy to that.

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  3. I'm so sorry that you bear the burden of thinking about these things when others around you are blissfully ignorant. Sounds like it was a really hard moment.

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  4. My first question was always "heartbeat?". The next was "correct size for dates?" and lastly "where's that darned placenta located . . ."

    When you know you have to worry about those things and other stuff like fluid volume, whether or not the baby's organs are inside or outside and cervical length - it does tend to skew the experience of "the ultrasound."

    It never again is simply a matter of "boy" or "girl" and I ended up sitting on the other side of the glass looking in just like too many of us.

    Hugs.

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  5. Argh! I'm sorry. It's amazing how oblivious the rest of the world is to the struggles of the IF: How oblivious and naive we all used to be. I too would love to go back to being that innocent, not dreading whenever someone tells me they have an announcement. *hugs*

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  6. Oh, to be so happy and unaware. An ultrasound means "pink or blue" to so many, while the rest of us just hope for a heartbeat.

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  7. Beagle's right: they do. I'd like to think that knowledge is always valuable, but then I think of your pain, and wish you had had that same blissful ignorance.

    My thoughts are with you today.

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  8. As you already know, I can't stand people who think this ultrasound is about nothing but gender--even if they're my friends. I feel a weird kinship with people who have healthy children and admit they were very, very nervous before the Big Ultrasound. Somehow, I feel like they were more "deserving" of a healthy diagnosis than people such as your co-worker.

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  9. In total agreement with all the comments here...ah to be innocent once more.

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  10. Ugh Loribeth, that is just cringe-worthy. I am sorry you had to deal with that.

    I now have a third pregnant colleague to look at every day.

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