After reading so many snide comments about the "selfishness" of childless/free people, it's nice to read an article (albeit by a non-parent -- so far...) by someone who examines the reasons for having children, & concludes that people become parents for selfish reasons.
It's actually a pretty interesting article -- by a young guy -- examining the reasons why people become parents. It's not often that you get people articulating just WHY they became parents (assuming they consciously chose parenthood & it didn't choose them).
Read the article, & tell me what you think!
I've always said that having children is the most selfish act. The child gets no say as to whether it wants to be brought into this world and we have children just because WE want a baby....
ReplyDeleteGreat article! Am about to start reading the comments now....
This part got to me:I suppose, in the end, my big human brain will just keep coming up with new reasons to become a father until I am one. And according to my former-partier friend, all this self-reflecting about fatherhood will, at that time, likely end. His kid is now 18 months old, and when I asked if his life had been infused with meaning, as he’d wanted, he says he’s not sure. Not because he doesn’t find his new family life fulfilling, though. “I don’t have time now to brood and think, ‘What is life all about?’ " he said. “I’m living it."
ReplyDeleteI feel like I'm missing out on some super special part of life. Like everyone had been admitted to this elite club and I'm left outside wondering what I did wrong.
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Hmmmmm refreshing, though odd. I was most intrigued by the idea that having children would be the best way to learn about yourself. I don't think the author included the desire to nurture someone else, other than "I'd be good at being a parent."
ReplyDeleteAfter all we went through to bring Skeeter home, it was all totally for selfish reasons. 100% about me. I'm telling you right now, if it didn't have some aspect of selfishness to it, I never would have stuck with it.
ReplyDeleteLove the new digs!
Well, human beings are selfish by nature, so I don't think that was much of a revelation. I never really of men spending that much time thinking about fatherhood. Most of the ones I have known, seem to think marriage is THE END and parenthood is REALLY THE END, even though they get over it eventually.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely interesting and a refreshing point of view ... would have been REALLY interesting to see a women write that kind of article though.
ReplyDeleteAlthough, I think part of me has already alluded to that "selfish" part of wanting to procreate. I want to have a child that I can love unconditionally. And I also feel as if I'm being "left out" by the rest of the world by not being able to procreate.
And maybe it IS selfish to think this ... but I think the "least" selfish reason to have children is to to pass on my genetic traits and my cultural traits to a biological child of my own. I just think THAT is part of human nature; to want to teach those in the next generation what we have learned. To KNOW that my geneology ... whether it's by nature OR nurture is passed on to someone else.
Hmm .. think I'm babbling, but hopefully you get my point.
Anyway ... nice new look! It's soothing!