Children may enjoy watching the Macy’s parade or look forward to pumpkin pie. But Thanksgiving activities aren’t centered on kids. There are no candies to collect, gifts to unwrap or eggs to hunt. There’s no staying up past bedtime for fireworks or Santa or the ball-drop in Times Square...
The symbolism of Thanksgiving, too, distinguishes it as a holiday geared toward older relatives. Rather than a baby in a manger, or baby Cupids, or baby chicks, Thanksgiving prompts us to think about the Pilgrims...
...the day tends to be calmer than the gift-giving frenzy to follow in December, and all the candy-colored, children-centered customs of Halloween, Valentine’s Day and Easter.Among other points, Santino notes that children are generally segregated from the adults at the Thanksgiving dinner table, and "graduate" to the adult table as they get older. ("...being thankful is really a grown-up value. Only as we grow older does our appreciation deepen.") He also believes that "the adult focus of Thanksgiving has also helped it resist consumerism" -- the rise of Black Friday shopping aside -- although, as he notes, there has been some significant pushback in recent years against Black Friday and particularly how its tentacles have started to creep into Thanksgiving Day itself.
But while Thanksgiving may not be quite the kid-fest that Christmas & Easter & Halloween are (or have become in recent years), I still sense there is a focus on family and bringing the family together that can make it uncomfortable or downright difficult for those who didn't grow up in a Norman Rockwell-style family, or who have failed to conform to the family norms in some way (e.g., by producing children of their own).
I would say Canadian Thanksgiving in October is similar in not being a particularly kid-focused holiday -- although there are certainly critical differences between the two events (beyond the timing). Thanksgiving in Canada is generally not the big deal that it is in the States. There are no Thanksgiving parades in Canada, no references to the Pilgrims (they had/have nothing to do with our celebration here), and you generally do not hear about people moving hell & high water to get home for Canadian Thanksgiving (if anything, that would be Christmas).
Anyway -- what do you think?
(And -- a propos of nothing -- with this post, and with five weeks left to go in 2014, I've surpassed the number of posts I published in all of 2013! Unemployment/early retirement has obviously helped my productivity, at least on the blogging front, lol.)
Uh... no. I think people have made it kid-focused in the same way they've made a lot of holidays kid-focused. Thanksgiving feasts at school?
ReplyDeleteI've also never known someone who had a children's table and an adult's table. There was just one table.
Plus Thanksgiving is the most commercial of the holidays in the sense that it is the kick off to the Christmas rush. It's the door to Christmas shopping. I don't think you can get much more consumer-focused than that.
I think it's a really hard holiday; just one that most people don't think about when they list out the ones that are difficult.
Well, we kiwis aren't thankful at all, so I watch with interest from afar, like a sociology researcher. It is always interesting to see your perspective (and will come back to read all the comments to see new ones). And yay to more posts this year!
ReplyDeleteFunny. We were just talking about this very topic a few days ago. This is definitely a friends and extended network-centric holiday. To wit, a single friend who recently lost some relatives is going to indulge and spend the holiday weekend in the high-end foodie world that is now Las Vegas. No gambling, just enjoying culinary delights with friends. I know other friends who make a point of opening their doors to those who aren't able to travel to see family in far-flung places. Rock on adults! Good to see that the traditional nuclear family doesn't always dominate ;-)
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm with Mel on this one. It may be slightly toned down, but Thanksgiving centers a lot on family. Even with the kiddie tables (seen them, was part of them, loathe them immensely), there was still the moments where those who had kids got more recognition then those without. I had an aunt who specifically used Thanksgiving to showcase how amazing her kids were.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I have seen more non-traditional Thanksgivings emerging. I did this as a young adult when a group of friends would get together for the day. Definitely was not kid-centric.
I actually love Thanksgiving for reasons that I can't exactly pinpoint. I've always loved it, even more than Christmas. As I've dealt with infertility Thanksgiving has become harder (as all holidays have), but it doesn't fill me with dread like Halloween or Christmas do. I think part of it is that we choose to host Thanksgiving dinner at our house. It means that I'm preoccupied with cooking and don't have much time for socialization. It's like a band-aid over a gaping wound, but it seems to work for us.
ReplyDeleteMy family only has one table, and I am so glad they did not do the separate kids table. I don't understand that tradition with some families.
ReplyDeleteThanksgiving to me feels very family focused, but not necessarily kid focused. It is time to spend together eating special food, talking and playing board games. When it is not terribly snowy or cold, a group of us will go for a walk in the woods.
There are times I have felt sad or alone, even in a room full of family that I love and love me back. But, it feels somewhat less sad than Halloween or Christmas. I think in part it is because there is not as much build up. Recently, I think it has become my favorite holiday because it is more understated, at least in comparison. I like my Thanksgiving. It can be a wonderful, magical pause before the Christmas holiday goes full swing.
My family only has one table, and I am so glad they did not do the separate kids table. I don't understand that tradition with some families.
ReplyDeleteThanksgiving to me feels very family focused, but not necessarily kid focused. It is time to spend together eating special food, talking and playing board games. When it is not terribly snowy or cold, a group of us will go for a walk in the woods.
There are times I have felt sad or alone, even in a room full of family that I love and love me back. But, it feels somewhat less sad than Halloween or Christmas. I think in part it is because there is not as much build up. Recently, I think it has become my favorite holiday because it is more understated, at least in comparison. I like my Thanksgiving. It can be a wonderful, magical pause before the Christmas holiday goes full swing.
I think Thanskgiving is a bit more about the adults. Having had children at my house this year, I can tell you they were bored until dinner time. My parents used to have us play a Thanksgiving day board game, like Monopoly or something else that took forever. So, I don't see it is as being as kid focused as the other holidays... BUT, it is the entry to Christmas mania, which is all about the kiddos.
ReplyDelete