The New York Times had a thoughtful piece on the corona virus and rationed medical care by an older person with disabilities, with the blunt title "My Life Is More ‘Disposable’ During This Pandemic." Sample passage:
The news doesn’t look good: There are more people sick; less relief is coming. The “reassuring” public service announcements are no better. Countless messages from my dentist, from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and from my child’s playgroups tell me not to worry because it’s “only” chronically ill people and elders that are at risk of severe illness or death. More than one chronically ill friend has quipped: “Don’t they know sick and old people can read?”
The pestilence of ableism and ageism being unleashed is its own kind of pandemic. In Italy, they’re already deciding not to save the lives of chronically ill and disabled people, or elders with Covid-19. The rationale is twofold: We are less likely to survive, and caring for us may take more resources. This is not an unusual triage decision to make in wartime or pandemics; our lives are considered, quite literally, more disposable.
As an aging childless woman, I'm already used to feeling "disposable" or less-than in the eyes of society. But COVID-19 sure puts a whole new spin on it. If I arrived at the hospital at the same time as another 59-year-old woman of similar health -- but who, unlike me, is the mother of (living) children (maybe even grandchildren) -- who do you think is going to get the one available respirator?
My heart goes out to those expectant moms -- and you know there will be some -- whose delivery does not go well, and/or babies aren't going to come home with them. And who will have to go through that, and deal with the immediate aftermath, alone...
(Dh & I were pregnancy loss support group facilitators during the SARS outbreak in Toronto, and our co-facilitator worked in a local hospital... she had some tales to tell!! We had several clients arrive at group who went through their losses at that time... I am sure this is bringing back some sad/scary memories for them...!)
How about those (and the article alludes to this) who had a previous loss, or difficult previous pregnancy or delivery, who now face delivery without additional support?
The article also mentions some pregnant women are now considering giving birth at home instead of going to the hospital. This gives me the heebie-jeebies:
Susan Rannestad, a licensed midwife, said the number of calls she received for midwife services had soared since the new policy was announced.
But she warned against women deciding at the last minute to give birth at home, which she said required months of education, planning and preparation.
“I am concerned that they are not prepared,” Rannestad said. “Home birth is not like going to Walmart and buying a new blanket for your bed.”
“My clients plan their births like they plan their weddings, and the people who are calling now don’t get it,” she said.
These days, I don't follow many couples blogs or social media feeds about cycling through infertility treatment... but I have heard/seen some very real grief from people whose long-anticipated cycles were cancelled. My heart goes out to them too.
Anyone else not appreciating all those jokes about the number of babies that are going to be born in December?? Many infertile women know that will simply not be the case for them...
On the other hand: I don't want to minimize the very real grief & fear we are all feeling right now -- but how very fortunate are we that, if we HAD to go through a pandemic, it's at a time when we have all this wonderful technology to connect and entertain us (not to mention we have modern medicine to help us, however imperfect it is!)?? I was thinking about this after watching a documentary on PBS a few days ago about the great influenza pandemic of 1918.
I have not been out of the house in almost two weeks (!)... dh has been out to scrounge for groceries a few times. I'll admit I'm starting to go a bit stir crazy (may go for a bit of a walk once the weather gets a bit better...), but things could be a whole lot worse. Hang in there!!
I asked my Facebook friends for suggestions for songs they'd missed. They included "Crystal Ball" and "Best of Times" by Styx, "Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats, and "Go Away Little Girl" by Donny Osmond, lol. (I'm too lazy to look up the YouTube links right now, lol.)
A friend posted a little video on Instagram set to "Band on the Run" by Paul McCartney & Wings (lol):
Stuck inside these four walls,
Sent inside forever,
Never seeing no one
Nice again like you,
Mama you, mama you....
If I ever get outta here
If we ever get outta of here...
I'm actually smiling at your last bits about songs that are appropriate. How nice that you finished with a Beatle! And yes, I totally agree about the advantages of technology for connections. Because we're all in lockdown, my AFS (exchange to Thailand) friends are all planning a group reunion via Zoom on Saturday.
And yes, it all makes us think back to other trauma. I worry about the women who will be suffering ectopic pregnancies, and sent away from hospitals without a scan because of COVID19, and who may then die. It's hard enough for us/them to get scans when symptoms are all presenting and pretty obvious in normal circumstances (as I saw with hundreds of women during my six years of volunteering), but it will be a very treacherous time for them now.
Great songs! My favorite is still "Here I Go Again On My Own" by someone, probably not even the real title, lol.
I saw the home birth stuff. I can't imagine being pregnant and ready to deliver now. I have a co-worker who is due any day and that has to be crazy. And then add into it all they risk factor and the possibility of having complications with no support from your loved ones... Ugh. And I think of those in the midst of IVF or IUI and my heart just breaks. It's hard enough already.
PTSD is definitely a factor that's going to play out heavily. I shudder to imagine the stories that are going to hit the prenatal and perinatal loss groups soon. I know ours isn't pretty.
Our recent anatomy scan revealed one seemingly healthy girl measuring slightly behind, one boy with bilateral club feet and severe growth restriction, and one girl with severe brain defects who either won't survive at all or won't have any quality to the short life she gets -- just seizures and pain until the end. To give the other two a better chance since they're showing signs of growth restriction we were advised to schedule a selective termination for her. We have less than two weeks to get it done legally. "Elective" procedures aren't being scheduled at this time though. And even if they do manage to get it scheduled, there are strict rules about no non-patients in the clinic due to the virus. I'm not sure which is worse, going in alone or having to be the other parent sitting in the parking lot helpless while it happens.
I'm actually smiling at your last bits about songs that are appropriate. How nice that you finished with a Beatle! And yes, I totally agree about the advantages of technology for connections. Because we're all in lockdown, my AFS (exchange to Thailand) friends are all planning a group reunion via Zoom on Saturday.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, it all makes us think back to other trauma. I worry about the women who will be suffering ectopic pregnancies, and sent away from hospitals without a scan because of COVID19, and who may then die. It's hard enough for us/them to get scans when symptoms are all presenting and pretty obvious in normal circumstances (as I saw with hundreds of women during my six years of volunteering), but it will be a very treacherous time for them now.
Great songs! My favorite is still "Here I Go Again On My Own" by someone, probably not even the real title, lol.
ReplyDeleteI saw the home birth stuff. I can't imagine being pregnant and ready to deliver now. I have a co-worker who is due any day and that has to be crazy. And then add into it all they risk factor and the possibility of having complications with no support from your loved ones... Ugh. And I think of those in the midst of IVF or IUI and my heart just breaks. It's hard enough already.
PTSD is definitely a factor that's going to play out heavily. I shudder to imagine the stories that are going to hit the prenatal and perinatal loss groups soon. I know ours isn't pretty.
ReplyDeleteOur recent anatomy scan revealed one seemingly healthy girl measuring slightly behind, one boy with bilateral club feet and severe growth restriction, and one girl with severe brain defects who either won't survive at all or won't have any quality to the short life she gets -- just seizures and pain until the end. To give the other two a better chance since they're showing signs of growth restriction we were advised to schedule a selective termination for her. We have less than two weeks to get it done legally. "Elective" procedures aren't being scheduled at this time though. And even if they do manage to get it scheduled, there are strict rules about no non-patients in the clinic due to the virus. I'm not sure which is worse, going in alone or having to be the other parent sitting in the parking lot helpless while it happens.
Oh, (((Manapan))). :( :( :( I am so sorry you're going through this, and going through it NOW. You will be in my thoughts!
DeleteThat list of songs is everything.
ReplyDeleteSo many of the things you've listed here would have been unthinkable just 3 months ago.
Heart breaking for {{{{Manapan}}}.