Alone

I saw dh off just before 8 this morning... I even waved to him from the window as the car came out of the parking garage of our condo building, passed below our unit (I could see him waving back, though the windshield) and then turned the corner and disappeared from my sight. 

(Kleenex was required.)

About 45 minutes later, we exchanged texts (he sitting in the car in the courthouse parking lot) before he had to turn off his phone and leave it in the glove compartment. Cellphones are not allowed in the courthouse while the jury is deliberating. I will not hear from him now until after the jury has delivered its verdict and he is free to go. It could be later today, it could quite likely be tomorrow, or possibly even Friday. He had to bring an overnight bag with him with two days' worth of clothing and toiletries, just in case. 

My gosh, this feels weird. 

I feel a little silly writing this. I know there are plenty of single women out there -- never-married, divorcees, widows -- who live this reality every day. I'm 60 years old (almost 61 -- gulp...). I'm quite capable, and I do enjoy "me alone at home time" -- occasionally. ;)  And BIL & SIL are a phone call and 10-minute drive away, if I really need them. (I also have the phone number for the court services officer, in case of emergency.) 

But as I've written before, it's not that often in 36 years of marriage that we've spent time apart... and even then, it was usually me who was off somewhere -- a solo visit to my parents, a business trip, a girls' weekend away with friends or dh's cousins. If I added it up, I could probably count the number of nights that I've spent alone at home, with dh away from ME, on the fingers of one hand (and I'm probably not exaggerating). 

I told dh last night that hey, at least we've had some practice at this ;) (although it's been a while!).  We both grew up in a world that was not as constantly connected as it is today. It was not unusual -- in fact, it was the NORM not to be in constant contact, not to be able to get hold of people at a moment's notice. 

But that still doesn't make it easy. 

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(I haven't been tracking as closely as I meant to... but after this is published, I will have ONE (1) more posts to go to reach 200 in 2021, and 6 more posts to reach 2,000 since I began blogging in October 2007! :)  Hoping to reach those milestones before the end of December/2021!)