As I mentioned in a post on Saturday, dh & I happily spent a few hours on Friday afternoon at Older Nephew's house, watching/entertaining/being entertained by Little Great-Nephew, while his mom had a job interview on Zoom. (She got the job!)
Before we went, BIL told dh that Older Nephew wanted us to stay for dinner -- I think he was planning to get takeout on his way home from work -- and several times, he reiterated, "Make sure you stay for dinner!"
But by the time ON's wife finished her call, it was about 3:45 p.m., and Older Nephew wasn't due back home until after 5. Dh was tired after running around after LGN all afternoon in the early summer heat, and even though the wife reiterated the dinner invitation, he decided we should go.
On our way back home, Older Nephew's Wife texted us she had been hired!... at the same time, BIL & SIL called us to tell us the same thing too. BIL also berated dh: "Why didn't you stay for dinner??" When he called to thank us, Older Nephew also asked why we hadn't stayed for dinner. Dh told him to put the money he would have spent on us into LGN's piggy bank.
Saturday, dh tried calling BIL several times, at home and on his cellphone. No answer. BIL called him back later that evening. I don't know if their whereabouts was meant to be kept a secret -- but BIL can't keep a secret to save his life. ;)
Turns out they'd been up at Older Nephew's house -- with Younger Nephew & his wife, Older Nephew's Wife's mother and her partner (and possibly her brother too), for a belated Mother's Day celebration. Also a belated 30th birthday celebration for both Older & Younger Nephews' wives (who were born on the same day, same year, and married brothers -- what are the odds, right?).
THAT explains why they didn't do anything last weekend for the girls' birthdays or MDay (which I thought was rather odd), and also why BIL kept insisting we should stay for dinner at Older Nephew's on Friday night. He knew we weren't invited on Saturday, and he felt less guilty, thinking we'd be there to spend time with LGN and to have dinner the night before..! NOW it all makes sense.
We don't expect to be invited/included all the time -- especially on an occasion like MDay. (Frankly, I'd prefer NOT to be around when parenthood is being celebrated! -- right?) They deserve to have some time together as a family unit. When I think about it, it's the secrecy and tiptoeing around us that bothers me, more than not being invited/not being told honestly about what they were doing.
It was just one of those awkward childless moments -- being the odd ones out, the only ones who don't have any other family around (not even my own family of origin), especially on "family" holidays.
You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.
Yea they could have just mentioned what their plans were to you. I don't like when people are being secretive like that either- makes me feel excluded. It sounds like Friday was a nice day all the same though and good news about the job offer
ReplyDeleteOK, given some of BIL's comments and actions in the past, I found this kind of sweet. They were at least recognising that you might feel left out, and trying to include you in another way.
ReplyDeleteSweet but misguided. Because yes, the secrecy is what would bother me too. They could have explained in advance, saying that they wanted to include you, but knew you probably wouldn't want to be a part of the M Day celebration, so "stay for dinner on Friday night." The secrecy implies either guilt, or pity. I shudder at both of those. They're not necessary. Openness is just so much better. And love and compassion, though they seem to have that pretty well covered. I kind of envy you that closeness.