Holiday rehash

My parents' old-fashioned Christmas tree. 
Some of the ornaments are older than I am! 

How was your holiday?  Mine was mostly okay. I always tell people that my time is not my own when I'm visiting my parents -- and that was definitely true this time around too.  We never seem to do very much while we're there -- but the time simply zooms by...!  

We got there on Dec. 16th, and spent the next week prepping for Christmas (and then the week afterward recovering...!).  My sister had already set up the Christmas tree and even put the lights on it, during an earlier visit, but it was my job to decorate it. Dh & I took my mom to a massive local greenhouse company to pick out some pointsettias as part of our Christmas gift to her.  They are gorgeous (and cheap!), and she always has a few around the house at Christmastime.  

On the one hand, we ate pretty well while we were home. On the other hand, we wound up with a LOT of leftovers to eat up...! (which got a bit monotonous after a while).  Dad had already cooked one ham before we got there, and did another during just before Christmas.  We also ordered several meals from the provincial government-subsidized local congregate meals program -- my parents get meals from there several times a week now. They deliver (like Meals on Wheels), but Dad prefers to pick theirs up, and dh went with him to help carry everything. (We all qualified to get them, all of us being 55+...!)  They were nutritionally balanced (meat/protein, starch, veggie/salad, dinner roll and dessert), filling, tasty -- and CHEAP ($7.50 per person!).  

We also had lots of the usual holiday goodies. Sister & I baked butter tarts, my mom made nuts & bolts to snack on, and they had already baked brown sugar shortbread cookies a few weekends earlier.  I spent the morning of Christmas Eve making a coleslaw salad that's always on the holiday table, and chopping celery & onions for the turkey dressing/stuffing, to save time the next morning. Parents' Neighbours' Daughter & her family -- including her parents (who actually haven't been my parents' neighbours for years -- but I'm not changing the label now, lol) -- came over for a while on Christmas Eve, so it was about 11 p.m. before we (finally!) opened out presents (tradition from the Swedish side of my mom's family). 

My sister & I had the turkey prepped, stuffed and in the oven before my mother even got up on Christmas morning. (Which, granted, is not a hard thing to do, lol -- my mother prowls around teh house half the night and rarely gets up before noon, if she can help it...!)(We wound up opening our stockings at 3:30 that afternoon (!) -- my sister observed that we would NEVER get away with that if there were small children around...!)  

We played cards almost every night we were there (which my dad loves), including on New Year's Eve (we got Chinese takeout for dinner that night). Parents' Neighbours' Daughter joined us a few times with the Littlest Princess (now 4 months old) in tow, and brought her older two sisters over a few times as well. Princess #2 was a big help in finishing off the jigsaw puzzle that consumed the better part of two days (and a good chunk of the dining room table, lol.)  

Of course, being stuck in a smallish house for two weeks in the middle of winter (albeit one of the mildest ones in years) with five other people, including aging parents, there were a few "ouch" and "arrrrghhhhh" moments...!  (Many of the "annoying things" outlined in this past post still apply...!)  

• My sister, who lives an hour's drive away from my parents (versus 2 & 1/2 hours by air and then an hour by car for me) told me she & her partner are fed up with our parents, their increasing need for support, the long to-do list they hand over with every time my sister visits, and their utter refusal to do much of anything much to help themselves. Sister & her partner may not have kids to occupy their time (by choice, in their case) -- but both of them are also in their 60s now themselves;  they have their own house that needs upkeep (as well as some extensive renovations), and they're both still busy working. She told me she's not planning to retire anytime soon, not only because of the money, but also because she knows the moment she retires, my parents will expect her to be at their beck & call, 24-7...!
• Sister told me she'd recently told my parents she wants them to give some serious thought to selling the house and moving -- not necessarily into a care home or even assisted living, but at least to a smaller house with a smaller yard that will require less upkeep, because she & her partner simply can't be there to help them every weekend.  I think my dad would be receptive to a move (the town where they live has a good reputation as a "retirement community" and has lots of different options available) -- but my mother has dug in her heels. Sigh... 
• Sister also informed my parents that she & her partner will not be digging up &/or planting &/or cleaning up a garden for them this year. My dad has kept a backyard veggie garden for years -- and my mother adores the fresh produce from it, particularly the new potatoes -- but Dad handed over half of it to a neighbour last year because he just can't keep it all up (and Sister & her partner wound up doing most of the work).  Sister's partner has local farm connections and says he can get them all the fresh produce they want, and there's a good weekly farmers' market in the summertime, but no.... 
• My dad has had some help with the yardwork (mowing the lawn, raking leaves, etc.) over the past few years from the teenaged son of a couple who attend my mother's church -- and at a very reasonable rate too -- but he's off to university this fall. 
• My parents also rely heavily on one of their neighbours for help -- but this man has told Sister & her partner that he can't do it much longer either. He's getting close to 80 himself and has his own house & yard to keep up. We didn't get to see him at all while we were there because he had pneumonia.  :(  
• Partly in retaliation for my sister laying down the law, I think, my mom made a jaw-dropping crack one night while we were playing cards. Our of the blue one night, in the middle of a card game, Mom said, "I should have had two or three more kids."  Us:  "Ummm, WHY?"  Mom:  "Well, maybe ONE of them might have stayed in town to help me out!"  (!!!)  You can imagine the expression on my sister's face...!  
• I gave my mother a "look" and said, "You're lucky [Sister] is here as often as she is!" -- leaving unspoken the fact that neither she nor I will have someone at OUR beck & call to do things for us!!  She kind of changed her tune after that. 
• After dh & I took mom to the greenhouse to get poinsettias, I offered to set one up in a hanging plant holder that she has -- but she told me to leave it for Sister to do,  because "it's tricky" and "[Sister] did it so nicely last year."  (!) I told my sister this and she rolled her eyes and said, "Maybe she should get one of her hypothetical two or three more children to do it for her!" (lol) 
• When we got to my parents' house at the beginning of the holidays, my mom told us that her younger brother/only sibling/my uncle & godfather (who just turned 80 this year) was in the hospital. He's not been in overall good health in recent years, and got taken by ambulance to a hospital, which sent him to a facility for evaluation and some physical rehab for his mobility issues. 
• Somewhere along the way, he contracted covid (for the first time), and had to be readmitted to the hospital. :(  He is not vaccinated. :( The doctors put him on antivirals, and thankfully he's doing well. 
• My cousin told us he's hopeful that this is the kick in the butt his dad needs to make some positive and long-overdue changes in his life. (Fingers crossed.) 
• Prior to this, my cousin's wife had taken my aunt to see a new apartment building geared to retirees/seniors. Spurred on by my uncle's health emergency, they made the decision to take an available studio suite, and put their names in for a two-bedroom unit, when one comes open. 
• My mother approves of the move:  she has long fretted over the stairs at my uncle's house (which is a bungalow, but built into the side of a hill, meaning there are a few stairs to climb from the driveway to the front door, plus some stairs from the entryway up to the main floor or down to the basement, where the garage entrance is located.  (She's conveniently ignoring the fact that it's not any/many more stairs than she has to navigate in her own split-level house...!).  But of course, just try suggesting that she & my father should do something similar...!  
• I overheard a conversation my mom was having with one of my aunts, exclaiming over the fact that one of my aunt's granddaughters turned 25 this year. (Yeah, I KNOW... someone ELSE would have turned 25 this year too, remember??)  
• After I spent a couple of hours on a Zoom call with "some online friends." Mom's curiosity was piqued:  "So who were these people?  What was the theme?"  I told her bluntly:  "We're all women who don't have children." Mom:  "Oh."  (No further questions...!)  

Yes, they drive me nuts sometimes...!  

But. 

Sitting in the departure lounge on the morning of Dec.16th, en route west, I received a message from my high school bestie:  her dad had passed away the day before, while she was still en route to be with him. He was 85 -- a year older than my dad. "Hug your parents when you see them," she advised me.  

I did.