It's International WOMEN's Day

-- i.e., it's not International Mother's Day. Too often, unfortunately, marketing, media, social media posts and special events for this day tend to centre on mothers and motherhood-related topics, versus issues that affect ALL women. (And they're often the same issues!)  

This may be truer than ever this year, if you live in the U.K.:  it's also Mothering Sunday/Mother's Day there this weekend.  Yikes, what a double whammy...!   

I've found a couple of great pieces this week focused on childless women and IWD.  Don't miss Jody Day's post on the World Childless Week website,  "It’s Called International Women’s Day, Not International Mother’s Day!" Sample excerpt: 

The last few years, it’s felt more and more like ‘International Mothers Day’, and whilst I celebrate women who are mothers, and appreciate that our society is still far from comprehensive in its support for the tasks of motherhood, I often feel that because women without children don’t need that kind of support, it’s presumed that we don’t need any kind of support at all. Having been writing and advocating on this issue for thirteen years, it still feels like childless people live in an imaginative blackspot for mainstream ‘hard-working families.’ (Please note the ironic use of quotation marks!) 

...On International Women’s Day, let’s celebrate mothers, but let’s recognise that they are more than their reproductive identity, they are women first. And we are more than our childlessness too. 

I'd also love to draw your attention to a couple of pieces from Medium on this subject. Unfortunately, most Medium pieces are paywalled  :p  but if you can find a workaround, they're worth reading!  

• Berenice Smith of the Full Stop Podcast has two pieces this week on the IWD/Mother's Day theme: 
• "International Women’s Day, not Mother’s Day" (hmmm, I sense a theme here!  lol). 
•  "We’re not inspiring inclusion this IWD, we’re accelerating progress." 
• And I absolutely loved this one from Ali Smith, who is childfree by choice. IWD is only mentioned at the end, but it's very much in the spirit of what we're talking about here: "Why Can’t a Woman Just Be a Woman?" (Subhead: "A woman’s worth should never be dictated by her relationship and reproductive status.")  Excerpt:  

You are more than your relationship and reproductive status

I know many people do this, so I mean no offence. But when I see women fill their bios with “wife” and/or “mum,” I feel a little sad.

Because the Patriarchy has peddled the message that the value of a woman is inextricably linked to who she is to others.

And yes, men may complete their bios with “husband” and/or “father”, but it’s not as prevalent. Take a look for yourself.

We’ve subconsciously lapped this up.

All around me, women jump at the opportunity to fill their bio in with their relationship status and then their reproductive status. An exclamation to the world: “Look, I’m loveable. I’m relevant to someone. I’m chosen. I’m doing what is expected of me. I’m not flawed.”

We claim our “wife” and “mum” titles as accolades, life flexes, and badges of honour. And by this very notion, we silently suggest that being single and not having children is associated with inadequacy and a lack of love and, by comparison, is less than.

Sure, be proud of being a wife and mum, but I encourage you to ask what message you are trying to convey by including it in your bio. Does it define you? 

 

...On International Women’s Day, my wish for all women is that you know your worth.

Whether you are single or in a relationship — no matter what that looks like to you — I hope you are happy.

Stand tall as a woman. That is enough. You don’t need to prove yourself by leaning on what nouns you can claim.

Yes, we are all daughters. Some of us may be sisters, nieces, aunts, wives and mothers. But the familial link between you and others doesn’t dictate your worth as an individual.

First and foremost, you are a woman. And that is enough in itself.

(Past IWD-related posts here.)