"No One Talks About This Stuff" edited by Kat Brown

Although things have improved since loss, infertility and permanent childlessness entered my life 20-25+ years ago, there's still a cloak of silence when it comes to public discussion of these matters in the broader culture.  

"No One Talks About This Stuff: Twenty-Two Stories of Almost Parenthood" is a welcome addition to the growing body of literature shedding light on these difficult subjects.  The collection was spearheaded, crowdfunded and edited by British journalist Kat Brown. "This is the book that I wish I'd found in the bookshops when my husband and I were trying for a baby," she writes in the introduction. 

The 22 writers -- women and men, mostly British -- who contributed personal essays (including some names familiar to me, such as Jody Day, Yvonne John and Stella Duffy, as well as others new to me) form a diverse group covering a broad range of reproductive experiences. If pregnancy loss, abortion, infertility, disenfranchised grief and/or childlessness are part of your story, you will find something here you can relate to!  I loved them all;  it would be very hard to pick a favourite, although I did think that Jody Day and Stella Duffy's essays, coming first and last, were the perfect bookends for the rest of the content. One (very) small quibble: I would have liked to see the two essays written by a wife and husband about their lost pregnancy placed back to back in the book --  but as I said, that's a very small quibble.  :)  

Content warning:  Some of the writers already had living children before the losses they write about here, and some of them did eventually become parents.  

Brown has helpfully included a "trigger index" at the back of the book -- covering everything from abortion to trisomy 2 mosaicism -- that readers can consult if there are particular scenarios they might find difficult to read about. There are also lists of resources (albeit most of them are U.K.-based).  

Disclosure(s):  I was among those who contributed to crowdfunding the publication of this book, and my name is included in a list of "Supporters" at the back.  In exchange for my contribution, I received an e-copy in early March, and a paperback copy a week or so later. :)  It was published in the U.K. and Australia on March 21st, with e-versions available in Canada and the U.S. via Kobo and Amazon on that day as well. Paper copies will be out July 2nd in the U.S., and July 12th Canada. 

Also,  it was a pleasant surprise to see Jody Day mention me in her essay (along with Pamela Tsigdinos and Lisa Manterfield) as a childless blogger who supported her own early blogging efforts on Gateway Women.  :)   

5 stars 

This was Book #9 read to date in 2024 (and Book #3 finished in March), bringing me to 20% of my 2024 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 1 book behind schedule to meet my goal. :)  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2024 tagged as "2024 books."