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Wednesday, September 9, 2026

"The Wedding People" by Alison Espach (re-read)

I hugely enjoyed "The Wedding People" by Alison Espach the first time I read it, back in February 2025, and I immediately pegged it as a book my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club would likely enjoy, as it features that rare creature: a childless-not-by-choice heroine!  Happily, my co-host read the book and agreed!  and our group will be reading and chatting about "The Wedding People" throughout the month of October.  :)  I just finished re-reading it in preparation for our discussions, and (spoiler alert! lol)  I enjoyed it just as much the second time around.  

At first glance at the cover and description, you might dismiss this one as a "beach read" -- after all, it takes place during a lavish week-long "destination wedding" at a swanky oceanside resort hotel in Newport, Rhode Island. But there's more to the story here.  

Phoebe Stone arrives at the Cornwall Inn without luggage, dressed up in a green silk frock and gold high heels. We soon learn why she's there. **CONTENT WARNING & SPOILER ALERT** She's always wanted to stay at the Cornwall, and she's flown there from St. Louis on the spur of the moment to treat herself to one last big splurge -- before she commits suicide. Her husband has left her, for someone she thought was a friend (a colleague AND a mother to boot!), following repeated (unsuccessful) rounds of IVF and a miscarriage. She just turned 40.  She's also struggling with job burnout and -- the final straw -- the death of her beloved cat.    

But while checking in, Phoebe learns the entire hotel (apart from her suite) has been booked for a lavish, week-long wedding party.  Almost immediately, she's drawn into the lives of "the wedding people," and, in particular, the self-centred, chatty young bridezilla, Lila.

So -- much more than a standard "beach read."  The book touches on a lot of sensitive themes/realities that the many readers will relate to (especially childless women), including some sharp observations about marriage and weddings, grief and loss, friendships and how they change over time. But it's also a fast and often very funny read that kept me turning the pages.  

Overall, I (still) loved it. :)  My original rating for this book was 4.5 stars on StoryGraph, rounded down to 4 on Goodreads. "5 stars was very tempting," I said then. 

This time around, I'm giving into temptation:  5 stars.  :)   

This was Book #26 read to date in 2026 (and Book #1 finished in September), bringing me to 65% of  my 2026 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 40 books. I am currently 1 book behind pace to meet my goal. You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2026 tagged as "2026 books."  

Odds & ends (including a World Childless Week webinar!)

I've been struggling a bit lately, with writing more regularly in this blog -- and with other parts of my life too. It feels like there are a gazillion things demanding my attention, and all I want to do is bury my nose in a book (Kobo reader?) or my phone and scroll mindlessly. I bounce from one thing to another and accomplish nothing, and fret over the dumbest little things. Frankly, I think I might be a little depressed -- and I guess it's not surprising, given the events and stresses and losses around me this past year(s/) -- both personal and in the broader world. 

Writing IS (always has been) a comfort and an outlet, though, and I have been collecting more odds & ends to share with you here (albeit there are a lot I meant to flag that have slipped through my fingers). Here are a few things I've been noticing and thinking about lately:   
  • Latest annoying/anxiety-inducing thing:  Our GE Profile dishwasher (original to the condo, so likely about 12 years old) is leaking water from the bottom. :(  We've stopped using it (washing dishes by hand), and even turned off the valve to shut off the water to it, but it's still getting wet under there. 
    • I've been sliding rags or sheets of paper towel underneath to catch and mop up the drips, and swapping them out for dry ones every few hours. 
    • Beyond the leak, the springs on both sides of the door have snapped in recent years -- meaning we can't just open the door and let it drop (because it DROPS!) -- we have to either hold it or balance it against a hip and load/unload the dishes that way -- or lower the door very gently, and then rehook the hinges up to close it back up properly again. 
    • Given these issues (and the likelihood of more to come), and given that 12 years seems to be ancient in appliance terms these days (yikes), we recently went dishwasher shopping. What to pick, from a dizzying array of choices?? (Did I mention I've been having some anxiety issues lately??)  
      • We eventually selected a KitchenAid model. It's being delivered next Monday. 
    • (I had to notify the property manager of the impending delivery -- and cough up a $500 (Canadian) security deposit in case of damages to the elevator or hallways during delivery/removal of the old machine. It will be returned, assuming all goes well. Sigh...) 
  • Huge congratulations to Mali at No Kidding in NZ, who has been named People's Champion for World Childless Week 2026!!  She wrote about it here, and you can read her WCW profile here  So well deserved!!  
  • Speaking of World Childless Week, it's next week!  I'll be writing more about it in the days ahead, but I especially wanted to give you a heads-up that I'll be appearing in a Zoom webinar/panel discussion on Thursday, Sept. 17th at 9 AM (Eastern time), along with three of my friends from the Childless Collective:  "All in the Family: Childless women, Caregiving/Caring and Family of Origin Dynamics." 
    • Y'all know, I live some 1000 miles away from my family of origin -- and my (younger) sister has been the main point person as our parents have aged (and, in mom's case, passed away in January). But Sandy, the webinar organizer, thought it would be interesting to have my perspective on caregiving and contributing from a distance, so...! 
    • You can watch live on Zoom, and the video will be posted on the WCW 2026 website and YouTube channel later that day for later viewing. More details and a sign-up link here.  
  • We lost three childless/free icons in short order recently:  first Dolly Parton, then Tim Curry, followed by Gloria Steinem. (Did I mention I've been a bit depressed lately?? -- this didn't help...!) There's been some great writing on various childless/free blogs, etc., about these three and what they meant to us. 
    • Gloria Steinem in particular was a familiar presence when I was growing up in the 1970s. Going through my old school essays when we were cleaning out my parents' house last spring, I was amused to find a declaration in one along the lines of "I'm not a big women's libber" -- ah, youth!!  Even if I was reluctant to embrace the F-label as a teenager (lol), there's absolutely no doubt what a huge impact Steinem and the women's movement had on my life, and that I have evolved considerably since then.  ;)  
      • I was fortunate enough to briefly encounter Gloria Steinem twice in my life:  
        • In 1994, I stood in line at a bookstore in the underground city that runs below Toronto's Financial District during my lunch hour to get her to sign a copy of her latest book, "Moving Beyond Words" (which I still have).  
        • Several years after that, she was speaking at a convention of the Ontario Human Resources Professionals Association. Someone had given one of my coworkers tickets;  she was working, but my mom was visiting me and I was off that week, so she gave them to me and Mom & I went to the Toronto Convention Centre to hear Gloria speak.  We also caught a glimpse of her walking through the halls outside the meeting rooms. She was in her 60s then and wearing a miniskirt -- and she looked fabulous in it.  :)   Rest in power, Gloria. And thank you. 
  • I was sad to read in the Toronto Star that Gilda's Club recently closed its doors here. 
    • I was reminded of a post I wrote wayyyyyy back in 2012 (!) about Gilda Radner (who was childless not by choice) & Gilda's Club. (I also mentioned Gilda in this post from last year, about the Saturday Night Live 50th anniversary celebrations.) 
      • Sidenote:  The O'Keefe Centre/Hummingbird Centre/Sony Centre I refer to in that 2012 post has been Meridian Hall since 2019.  Sigh... 
        • (The SkyDome is still the Rogers Centre -- but there's now also the Rogers Stadium, which -- as many unsuspecting event ticketholders have discovered, to their dismay! -- is about 20 miles away from the Rogers Centre, in a completely different part of the city...!) 
  • New York Times gift link:  "When the Choice to Be Childless Is Not Your Own" by Anna Louise Sussman, author of the upcoming book “Inconceivable:The Impossibility of Family in an Age of Uncertainty.” The article is U.S.-specific, but some of the questions it raises would apply in many other countries. 
    • Sample quote:  "...what if we thought of starting a family as a fundamental human experience that should be available to all? What if we extended the ability to have a family — one that many possess as a matter of good fortune — into a basic human right?"
    • (Not sure I have the "right" to have a family -- no one can guarantee that -- but I believe it should be a lot easier to TRY to have one, if that's what I want...)
  • You've probably heard of "manspreading" -- entitled and oblivious men, spreading out and taking up valuable public space (particularly on public transit). How about "mumspreading"?  Emma Harris thoughtfully explains (on her own website, and on the Life Without Children Substack -- well worth a read!):   
Mumspreading, as I use it, describes something analogous: the ways in which some mums can take up physical, conversational, emotional space without much awareness of the impact on those around them.

This is, ultimately, a post about the invisible grief of childlessness, and what it means to take up space in a world not designed with you in mind.

Wednesday, September 2, 2026

Annoying things & small pleasures

Annoying things:  
  • Maybe it's because I spent three weeks at my dad's, but it feels like this summer was especially short and went by WAY too fast.  :(  
  • September arrived with a resurgence of summer heat & humidity on the 1st.  :p  Temperatures peaked at 26C, with the humidity making it feel more like 35C. (That's 79F and 95F.)  
    • Crossing my fingers it will be gone by this time next week: repairs to our rooftop "chiller" unit, which provides air conditioning to the building, are scheduled then -- and we will be without a/c for a few days until the job is done...!  
  • Like clockwork on Sept. 1st, I received an email from my family doctor with a requisition for bloodwork (to check my cholesterol levels in particular), six months after my last check-in. Sigh... I knew it was coming (if not exactly on the 1st!), but I am NOT looking forward to this...!  I've been doing the best I can, but with all the upheaval around my mom's death, extended time spent with my dad, etc., it's NOT been a great year, nutritionally or activity-wise...! 
  • Remember the new sheets I wrote about, a little while back?  I said I was going to order a second set to keep in reserve, and I did that not long after I wrote that post.  Delivery was scheduled between Aug. 21st and 25th. 
    • I didn't get any delivery notifications (not sure I signed up for them?), but I checked the tracking number with Canada Post on Monday, Aug. 24th -- and it indicated the package was delivered on Friday, Aug. 21st. ???  Some packages get left right outside our condo unit door, but anything that comes from Canada Post usually goes into a package locker in the mailbox area in the lobby downstairs, and they put a key to the locker in your mailbox. 
    • Dh went downstairs to check -- but nothing was there??  And he told me he'd checked the mail on Friday or Saturday, and there WAS a key to the package locker then (he didn't know or remember I was expecting a package) -- so he put the key into the return slot and didn't think anything of it. 
    • We figured there was some kind of mixup and my package was probably sitting in another locker. I called the property manager:  they don't have access to the mailboxes (rightly so), but she suggested we could put up a sign for the mail carrier by the boxes, or call Canada Post.
    • We stopped at a postal outlet on our way back from the mall on Tuesday (Aug. 25th), and asked the clerk there for advice, and she gave me a 1-800 number to call. Of course it was all AI bots (eyeroll), and I couldn't get anywhere when I asked to speak to a human. I wound up going to their website and using the chatbot there to open an investigation. 
    • I was told I'd hear from them one way or another within three business days. (After that, I'd have to contact the sender.)  It was SO annoying to know my package was very likely still in the building, but I couldn't get to it!! 
    • Small pleasure: When we got back from visiting SIL and the Little Great-Nephews the next day around noon (Wednesday, Aug. 26th), my package was sitting outside our door!  I figure either Canada Post contacted the delivery person for our building and s/he brought it right to our door, or someone got our package by mistake and brought it over and left it there. 
      • Either way, I finally got my new sheets, and I'm happy. :)  It's the first time I've had trouble with a package delivery since we moved here. 
  • EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I've been at the mall lately (over the past six months, at least, possibly longer), I've walked by a certain spot in the mall where there are a couple of long, comfortable cushioned benches to sit on.  And there's always at least one, sometimes two or more young women there. (There were FIVE on a recent visit in August!!)  They often have some kind of duffel bag or even a small trolley in font of them. Their phones/cameras and sometimes even lights are set up on tripods, and they're pulling items of clothing out of the bag and holding them up in front of the camera, gesturing and talking rapidly.  It's clear they're some sort of online "influencers" (or wannabes), showing off their latest purchases. They take up valuable seating/rest space -- and even if there is an empty spot I don't want to sit there and listen to them or chance showing up in the background of their videos.  It's annoying as heck.  :p  
  • American news anchors and reporters who can't pronounce "premier" or "Ontario." (On top of the even more annoying reasons why Ontario and its premier are in the American news lately in the first place...!)  Two times in two days this past week, I noticed CNN anchors mentioning "the preMEER of OnTAAHrio."  (It's "the PREEmyeer of OnTAIRio"!!)  Sigh.... 
Small pleasures:  
  • Reading more again lately. I read 7 books in August (!) and I don't remember the last time I got through that many books in one month?? Not in recent years, for sure...!  
  • Making plans to go for brunch on Tuesday (first day of school hereabouts)... because we can!  lol  :)  (One of the perqs of being childless, and retired!)  
  • Spending time with the Little Great-Nephews, before Older LGN heads back to school  (We'll still be seeing his little brother most weeks -- he stays with his grandmother during the day while his parents are at work, as his brother once did.)  
  • Also:  getting to see Older Nephew's dog last weekend, when he & the kids were at BIL & SIL's.  :)  Hadn't seen him in quite a while, and he was SO happy to see us!  :)  (He turned TEN this summer!)  

Tuesday, September 1, 2026

Right now

Right now...* 

*(A (mostly) monthly series/meme.  Explanation of how this started & my inspirations in my first "Right now" post, here. Also my first (similar) "The Current" post, here.)

August (and the entire summer, really) went by too fast.  We spent the first 9 days of the month with my dad (three weeks total, beginning in July), and I still feel like I'm trying to get back into the swing of things here...!  Now it's September, school is returning next week, and we are rapidly barrelling into fall... 

Some of the things I/we did this month include

  • Visited my 87-year-old dad in Manitoba (and wound up staying an extra week for a total of three, July 18th - Aug. 9th):  
    • Visited Dad several times daily in the hospital, until he was able to come home, a few days after we got there.  
    • Took Dad to several medical and other appointments. 
    • Helped him with some banking and other admin tasks related to my mom's estate and the sale of the house (which closed on July 1st). 
    • Fetched things and made meals for Dad (who has mobility issues and uses a walker). 
    • Made umpteen trips to the local Co-op grocery store, and two to the weekly local farmer's market (fresh local garden vegetables, yummmmm!).  
    • Made two side trips during those outings to the local drive-in restaurant  (a local institution for 60+ years!) for ice cream, including one on Aug. 7th in tribute to our Katie (since we couldn't be home to visit the cemetery and carry out some of our usual traditions there).  
    • Played Saturday night TV bingo with Dad on three consecutive Saturday nights (a family tradition dating back about 50 years!) -- and card games just about every night we were there too!    
    • Welcomed a number of visitors, including Parents' Neighbours' Daughter, the Little Princess and her two older (not-so-little anymore) sisters, and PND's parents;  (other) former neighbours from the house, and one of my cousins on my dad's side, whom I hadn't seen in about 25 years.  :)  
    • Helped Dad to choose and purchase a niche at the local cemetery and organized the interment of Mom's ashes there, with a few close friends present (Aug. 8th).  Arranged for lunch back at Dad's apartment afterward. 
    • Sat on hold with the airline for 2+ hours to change our tickets and extend our stay an extra week (was not able to do it online, for some weird reason??).  
      • Flew back home on Sunday, Aug. 9th, one week later than originally scheduled. 
  • Back home:  
    • Went grocery shopping and picked up some soup and/or pizza slices for dinner/lunch (Aug. 9th, 10th, 11th, 17th, 24th & 31st).  
    • Spent a few hours with the Little Great-Nephews, and stayed with them while SIL went for an appointment (Aug. 11th). Returned for visits on Aug. 19th & 26th. 
      • Visited the Little Great-Nephews AND the dog (yay!) at their grandparents' house while their parents were at a wedding, and stayed for dinner. (Aug, 29th) 
    • Shopped and walked at the mall (amid hordes of tourists and back-to-school shoppers...!). (Aug. 12th, 18th & 25th). 
    • Activated a new bank card at the ABM/ATM, browsed at the bookstore and picked up a birthday card, picked up a few more groceries at the supermarket, and picked up a prescription at the drugstore. (Aug. 14th) 
    • Got some cash at the ABM/ATM, bought a new CO2 detector at Canadian Tire (and installed it when we got home) and browsed at the bookstore (Aug. 21st).
    • Drove to the mall in our old community for haircuts with our longtime stylist, walking & shopping (Aug. 28th). Also stopped at the cemetery and changed Katie's niche decorations to a fall theme.  :)  

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Also right now:  

Reading: August was a highly productive reading month for me, for whatever reasons?? (Not complaining!)  I finished 7 (!) books in August -- the most I've read in a single month in a very long time, I rhink!  (all reviewed on this blog, as well as Goodreads & StoryGraph, & tagged "2026 books").  Year to date, I've read 25 books,  reached 63% of my Goodreads Challenge goal, and am currently 1 book behind schedule to achieve it by year end.  
Current reads: 
  • "The Forsyte Saga" by John Galsworthy. After mulling it over (see this post!), I accepted a commenter's suggestion to do a readalong together!  Currently 69% completed. 
  • "Childless: A Woman and a Girl in a Man's World" by Fabiana Formica.  This one is beautifully written, but slow going, and I was reading it (or trying to...!) at Mom & Dad's last summer (2025), where there were a lot of distractions. I've put it aside for the moment to focus on other reading priorities, but I've completed 33% to date.
  • "L.M. Montgomery and Gender," an essay collection edited by E. Holly Pike & Laura Robinson. Slowly working my way through, in between the other books...! 
Coming up: Most of my book groups have their next reads plotted out for a few months in advance -- and listing them here helps me keep track of what I should be reading next. ;)  
A few recently purchased titles (all in digital format, mostly discounted ($5-10 or less) or purchased with points): 

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** 

Listening:  

Following: A couple of new people on Substack (how many Substack/newsletter subscriptions is too many??).  

Watching
  • Too much Game TV (game show network), Cash Cab and Judge Judy (good Lord, she's obnoxious...!), while visiting my Dad...!  (Thanks but no thanks...!)  
  • CFL football and Toronto Blue Jays baseball games (also Dad's viewing choices, but far preferable to the Game Show Network!  lol)  We've continued to watch some Jays games since returning home (they've been doing well again, after a bad start to the season..! -- hoping to make the playoffs...!). 
Playing:  
  • Heardle Decades: I didn't have much time for the daily Heardles while we were in Manitoba, but since we got back, I've also added Super 60s, 70s & 80s Heardles to the list, which include more obscure/album cuts! Here the stats (as of Aug. 31st):  
    • Heardle 60s: 74.4% (982/1320, 398 on first guess), up 0.1%. since July 31st. Max streak: 21. (Current streak: 9) 
    • Heardle Super 60s: 43.8% (7/16, 1 on first guess). Max streak: 5. 
    • Heardle 70s: 74.7% (793/1062, 445 on first guess), down 0.3% from July 31st.. Max streak: 18. 
    • Heardle Super 70s: 61.1% (11/18, 7 on first guess). Max streak:  3. 
    • Heardle 80s:  41.4% (380/917, 154 on first guess), up 0.1% from July 31st. Max. streak: 6.
    • Heardle Super 80s: 50.0% (9/18, 3 on first guess). Max streak: 4. 
    • Heardle 90s: 33.0% (335/1016, 86 on first guess), up 0.1% from July 31st. Max. streak: 9. 
  • NYT Connections
    • During July (up to Aug. 2nd), I completed 717 games, won 90% of them (unchanged since June 30th), including 385 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors, and 20 where I got the most difficult/purple category first (unchanged since Dec. 31st). Maximum winning streak:  45 (unchanged since June 30th, 2025).  Current streak to that point: 18..  
    • As of Aug. 31st, I'd played 746 games and won 90% of them (unchanged since Aug. 2nd), including 400 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors, and 22 where I got the most difficult/purple category first (an increase of 2 since Dec.  31st). Maximum (and current!) winning streak: 47! (an increase of 2 since June 30th, 2025). 
Eating/Drinking:  My eating habits took a nosedive while we were away... I may have some explaining to do to my doctor when I have to redo my bloodwork this fall, particularly re: my cholesterol levels (gulp)...! 
  • Over the past almost-two years (since some less-than-stellar bloodwork results for both of us in fall 2024), we've been trying to eat healthier and lower our cholesterol levels -- and avoid having to take (more) medication. Results have been mixed (initially good, less so more recently...), and it's been a struggle to maintain momentum. 
    • I'm up 0.6 pounds this month, since we returned home. Overall, I'm down 15 pounds since late October 2024 -- close to my lowest weight in more than a decade -- and 27 pounds from my heaviest-ever weight  (in August 2021). 
      • (Dh  has gained a little weight back this summer, and is currently down about 14 pounds overall since fall 2024.)
  • Takeout meals included the usual pizza slices, soup and teriyaki rice bowls from the supermarket, and rotisserie chicken from Swiss Chalet. (It's gotten a little boring lately, to be honest -- but it's not easy finding takeout meals that are (a) cheap-ish -- especially lately! (b) not too horrible in terms of cholesterol and (c) something dh & I can agree on...!)  
  • My dad gets meals delivered directly to his building from a subsidized community meals program for seniors -- and since dh & I are also seniors, we can get them too, when we're there!  They're available every week day -- the menu is published a month in advance -- and dad gets them several times a week (as do many seniors in his building). It's not exactly gourmet fare, but it's tasty, balanced, and filling, always including a protein, starch, veggies or salad, dessert and a bun (often homemade) -- all for the grand price of $7.50 (Canadian) -- plus a few dollars extra delivery fee.  Not bad!  
Not eating:  Lettuce from the U.S. ( = fewer salads lately, since so much of our produce comes from there...!), since the cyclospora parasite outbreak there...!  Happily, the supermarket where we shop recently stocked some local/Ontario organic lettuce! -- I'm enjoying it while it's still in season!

Wearing:  I WAS wearing lots of shorts, tank tops and T-shirts... but I'm s
hifting back towards short sleeves vs tank tops again, and I even dug out my capri yoga pants earlier this week (vs shorts), as the weather has been slightly cooler recently.  

My sister loaned me a really cute (and very comfortable) black sleeveless dress with a tiered skirt and a zipper down the front to wear to our Mom's committal service at the cemetery. (I'd brought a pair of black capris and a top with me, just in case, but this was nicer!) 

Appreciating:  The cooler temperatures and lower humidity! (if not the recent lack of sunshine...) 

Buying (besides books, lol):  Cute fall clothes for the great-niblings (from Old Navy and Carters/Oshkosh).  I also bought a few tops for myself at Old Navy, as well as a burgundy & navy-striped soccer shirt with a white collar at the Gap outlet (why are so many women's shirts these days cropped??), and a cute burgundy "rugby" sweatshirt at American Eagle.    

Noticing: The days/hours of light are already getting shorter...  :( 

Wondering:  
Whether we're getting an invitation to dh's cousin's cottage this fall??  We've been there with BIL & SIL every fall for the past five years, and they've usually asked us well before now.  However, they DID have ALL the cousins there in May (16 of us!! -- which was really very generous of them!!), and I know they've had a very busy summer. I wouldn't blame them if they wanted some cottage time to themselves! 

Loving:  Getting more books read this month! 

Feeling: (Still) Tired.  A little "blah."  Glad to be back home and to spend some time with the LGNephews.  (Missing:  Little Great-Niece -- we haven't seen her since Easter!!)  A little sad that summer is drawing to a close (already! -- I guess it's because we were away for three weeks, but it seems to have been really short this year...!).  But... 

Anticipating/Looking forward to: Fall, which is generally a lovely time of year here (if not what follows later...!).  Also looking forward to: kids returning to school (if not all the hype and last-minute-rush to enjoy the last of summer), and having fewer people crowding the stores and malls during the week!  lol  We're planning to go out for brunch on or around the first day of school to celebrate!  ;)  

Coming up in September: Older Great-Nephew heads back to school (to Grade 2!!). And World Childless Week.