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Thursday, January 21, 2010

Blue (Mon)day?

When I woke up Monday, the DJs on the morning radio show I listen to were referring to it as "Blue Monday." According to a somewhat unscientific formula (concocted by a psychologist & used "to give academic weight to a press release put out by Sky Travel to encourage people to cheer themselves up with a holiday"), the third Monday of January is supposedly the most depressing day of the year -- taking into consideration factors that include the weather, the amount of time lapsed since the Christmas/New Year holidays, Christmas bills coming due and broken New Year's resolutions.

Actually, Monday was a pretty good day. My birthday last week helped carry the festive mood over for a little while longer. The Christmas bills have been paid off. And the weather hasn't really been that bad (knocking wood...!) -- grey & a tad chilly, but really not unbearably cold this week, & very little snow for the past while (knocking wood again).

As I've written before, generally, my seasonal blahs kick in around November, go into (semi) hibernation through Christmas & my birthday, & then resurface with a vengeance sometimes in February, when it seems like the winter is never going to end.

I must admit, though, that yesterday was perhaps a little bit tinged with blue:
  • I was fretting over some loose ends from work, hangovers from while my boss was on vacation. No doubt this anxiety was exacerbated because...
  • ...I got my period -- & it's been on the heavy side, leaving me feeling tired & drained. One of my online childless-not-by-choice friends, whose 50th birthday is coming up, remarked yesterday that the greatest gift would be "no more periods!" I responded, "I hear ya... I may eat my words later, but I'm actually looking forward to getting that transition over & done with. I'm not brave enough to have an ablation done -- but if AF went away for good tomorrow, I'd say goodbye & good riddance. If I'm not going to have children, what's the point? I never used to think this way, but the longer this drags on, the more I can't wait to be done with it."
  • I came home from work to find a large envelope from dh's cousin in the mail. I knew right away that it was a baby shower invitation for her daughter, who announced her pregnancy (actually, it was her mom who spilled the beans) at a family gathering last summer. And of course, that's what it was. She is due in late March & the shower is in a couple of weeks. I've already checked out the online registry & am planning to get the shopping over with this weekend, if possible.
  • (Sadly, we learned before Christmas that the hostess at that family gathering -- who inadvertently had her third pregnancy "outed" by her toddler son that same day! -- lost the baby. I enclosed a note in my Christmas card -- on notepaper in a separate sealed envelope -- saying how sorry we were & that we were always available to talk, if they felt like it. I didn't expect a response, & there hasn't been one. Nevertheless, I could be wrong, but I'm thinking that this shower may be difficult for her to attend, too.)
Today was a little better:
  • My boss is back, so we finally have someone looking out for us & our work again.
  • The work issues I was fretting over have (mostly) been resolved.
  • I had to go for a mammogram this afternoon (at the same hospital where I had Katie). (That's not the "better" part.) I could have gone back to the office again for awhile -- but I didn't. I could have gone shopping, but with AF tagging along, I didn't really feel like it. So instead, I sat in a cafe for a half hour, reading the new issue of Entertainment Weekly, sipping a cafe au lait & snacking on a divine bread pudding with vanilla sauce, until it was time to meet dh for an early (much less crowded) train home. Ahhhhh!!

5 comments:

  1. Sorry about your relative's loss. : (

    Glad that you had some high points in your day, though. I could go for some of that bread pudding right now. The best bread pudding I've ever had was paired with oatmeal stout ice cream.

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  2. Sorry - I find I am completely salivating at the thought of that bread pudding. Oh my. :0)

    Having no periods anymore is nice. I don't miss them. Yesterday I found out a friend of mine (of advanced maternal age) is pg. I should be happy for her - she's had her fertility struggles also. And really, on some level, I am happy for her. I hope all goes well for her. Still, not missing my af aside, it still pangs a bit.

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  3. Sounds like you've got lots of blah-causing stuff and ahhh-causing stuff going on at once. Funny how life works like that. ;-) You know, baby showers and baby registeries still give me the blahs, even despite my current...um...physical state. I don't think that feeling will ever go away.

    Interesting article about post holiday-depression, btw.

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  4. Thanks for referring me to the article regarding adopting orphans from Haiti. I hadn't read it before. I hope she is able to implement what she has proposed about having Haiti "grannies" foster the children left without parents.

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  5. Hi loribeth! Thanks so much for coming by, saying hi, and giving me some more information on those of us who are out there living childfree. I really appreciate it!

    It's been really nutty around here this week, but I just wanted to say that when I read your blog, I find myself nodding my head at the computer. It's so reassuring to find other people who are going through the same kinds of struggles. I plan on reading more as time allows - but thank you for putting yourself 'out there' and sharing with us.

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