Monday, August 24, 2009

Post #300: You know you're getting old(er) when...

…not only do you have pregnancy announcements to deal with from the people you work with, are friends with and are related to, but you also start getting announcements from THEIR kids. :p

We spent yesterday afternoon at a gathering for one side of dh's family. As we were driving there, I kept thinking, "[Dh's cousin's daughter, age 24, married two years ago] is going to announce she's pregnant today." When we saw her there, I had a momentary, "Nah, maybe not," because she is so friggin' skinny & her stomach was pancake flat. (Ah, to be 24 again…!)

But my first instincts were right. Although, actually, it was not she but her mother (dh's cousin, who is not quite two years YOUNGER than me) who broke the news, gleefully announcing to the gathering, "I'm going to be a grandma!" The daughter is just 10 weeks along. So I guess I will be attending a baby shower sometime early next year. Yay me.

(This is actually the second of our cousins who will be a grandparent. My own cousin, who is not quite four years younger than me, is already a grandfather twice over -- but I don't get to see them that often.)

Our hostess wasn't sitting with us at that point -- but a little while later, we heard a shriek, & she was laughing & saying (oh, just take a guess…!) -- yep, SHE's pregnant too! With baby #3 (a surprise!!). She only just found out & hadn't been planning to tell anyone yet, but her three-year-old son spilled the beans to one of dh's aunts ("Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy too.").

After 11+ years of dealing with loss & infertility, I'm well beyond locking myself in the bathroom & crying over these things -- I even managed to smile & congratulate the expectant moms (& grandma) -- but I can't say I was thrilled either, if you know what I mean. Just a sort of numbed resignation, frozen smile on my face, & how much longer before we can go home?? sort of feeling. One announcement, I can cope with pretty well, but two or more on the same day kind of take the wind out of my sails (see the story of my Worst. Christmas Party. Ever.)

I told dh later that I'd had a feeling about the cousin's daughter, even before we got there, & he said, "Really? How would you know that?" Duh...!!

This coming weekend, we're getting together with the other side of dh's family. I don't have any reason to suspect any pregnancy announcements there -- most of dh's cousins are in their 40s and pretty much done with babymaking, & most of the next generation are still too young -- but I've learned never to say never….


  1. Have I mentioned that you are my hero?

    You really are.

  2. Is there this internal radar that develops for such things after experiencing infertility and/or loss?

    Something like they say blind or deaf people develop - an additional or heightened senses to make up for the lack in the other?

    24 - wow. That was when I first discovered that getting pg wasn't going to be as easy as I thought it would be. Though, you're right - to be that skinny again!

    Mrs. Spit is correct - you are a hero. :0)

  3. I think you're awesome. I would have hid in the bathroom for sure.

  4. Ugh! I know the feeling well. Thanks for blogging! It helps to know there are others in this world who know what I'm feeling.

    I have developed pregnancy radar too. If I'm blindsided with someone's announcement, there is no guarantee that I'll be able to hold myself together.

  5. I think I would have been in the bathroom, if I had stayed. I guess we just get kind of numb to it eventually?

  6. Wow - well done. I know that must have been hard. xo