#MicroblogMondays: Annoying things & small pleasures

Annoying things: 

• As I mentioned here back in March, I unsubscribed from the Washington Post:  my longtime subscription ran out in late May. I was sad to let it go (particularly since it was a REALLY good deal that I'll probably never get again...!), but I wanted to express my displeasure over some of the decisions made by the publisher, overruling his own editorial department on several occasions.  
• The annoying thing:  I thought I would be able to read at least a couple of articles every month for free -- but that doesn't seem to be the case. Every time I click on a link to a Post story, I get a pop up inviting me to re-subscribe (that will not go away, no matter where I click). Sigh.  
• Back around Eastertime, dh & I were at Canadian Tire (which, as any Canadian can tell you, sells a lot more than tires!) when we spotted a display of diapers, at a very reasonable price. We knew we'd be seeing Older Nephew & family over the holiday weekend, so we picked up a carton of diapers for Little Great-Nephew #2 (something I'm sure I could NEVER have imagined doing, 25 years ago!). I have a points card from the store, and used it then.  
• Annoying thing: I recently had an email from Canadian Tire land in my inbox. Header:  "Reminder: Stock up on diapers" (!!). Seriously?? (Reminder to self: Don't use your points card when buying baby-related stuff...!)   
• A lovely little Italian bakery/cafe/gelatoria in the heart of the original old village here that specialized in cannolis closed in mid-June with one day's notice. (The same family does still operate larger bakery/cafe, a bit further away from us.) It was a great/convenient place to stop and pick up some pastries en route to a family gathering -- and we went there once, pre-pandemic, just to sit and enjoy a couple of mini-cannolis and cappuccinos together. I was hoping to do it agai... (I need to learn not to put these things off...!)(The lemon cannolis were to die for...!) 
• Dental checkup later this week. :p  Fingers crossed that all is well...!  

Small pleasures: 

• Spending time with both nephews, their wives and kids (all the LGNs!) at BIL's on Saturday. We hadn't seen LGNephew #1 since Easter!  
• Not so much annoying as "ouch":  the moment when the Father's Day gifts came out.  :p  (Dh knew this would be a FDay celebration; it was his choice to be there!)  
• Longer days (until the solstice later this week, anyway...!) and nicer weather. (FINALLY!)  :) 
• Clearing most of my book club obligations for the next few weeks, and blazing through a book of my own choice (review here).  SO MUCH FUN.  

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

"Kills Well With Others" by Deanna Raybourn

Having caught up on my current book club/reading group obligations, I eagerly dove into a volume of my own choice: "Kills Well With Others" by Deanna Raybourn, a sequel to "Killers of a Certain Age," which I read (twice!) and adored (and reviewed here and here).  

"Kills Well" picks up more than a year after the events of "Killers." Our four kick-ass 60-something (childless!) heroines -- Billie, Helen, Mary Alice and Natalie -- a crack team of professional assassins (!), now retired -- have been laying low. Then they get an off-the-record call from the head of the top-secret organization they worked for. A retired employee has been murdered -- and all the evidence points to the son of the gangster the quartet killed for their first assignment, 40 years earlier. Moreover, there's evidence that there's a mole on the inside who's identified the agents involved in the case. Who is helping him? And are they his next targets?  

Like the first volume in the series, this book is a whole lot of fun.  :)  There are scenes of graphic violence -- but plenty of laugh-out-loud humour too -- and I absolutely love how the author subverts the stereotypes placed on older women. :) Also like the original book, there are flashback scenes to the early days of the women's careers.  There are a lot of twists and turns in the plot that kept me turning the pages, as our killers travel to Williamsburg, Virginia; across the Atlantic aboard the QEII to England, then across Europe to Sardinia, Venice and the Balkans. 

I blazed through the bulk of this one in one day -- and I can't wait for another installment.  :)  (How about it, Deanna Raybourn??)  

I rated the first book 5 enthusiastic stars, on both readings. I'm not sure this one *quite* reaches those lofty heights -- the novelty element is not as great this time around -- but it's definitely another great read. 

4.5 stars on StoryGraph, rounded down to 4 on Goodreads. 

This was Book #18 read to date in 2025 (and Book #2 finished in June), bringing me to 40% of  my 2025 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 2 books behind  schedule to meet my goal.  :)  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2025 tagged as "2025 books." 

Odds & ends

• After reading this article about a mother's grief  over the loss of not just one but BOTH of her (teenaged/young adult) sons (!), I immediately added the book she's written to my wish list.  
• Related article from The Guardian. 
•  This story -- about bereaved parents from British Columbia, who mistakenly received an itemized bill for their stillborn daughter's autopsy (!) -- but not the ashes they were expecting -- was featured on the CBC National news recently.
• The doctor interviewed points to the lack of standards when dealing with pregnancy loss across Canada. It's infuriating to realize how little has changed, certainly in the 27 years since my own loss, and it's been going on a LOT longer than that! 
• I found a "print" version of the story on CBC's website too, which includes two radio/podcast links to listen to (one that's 23 minutes long). I have not listened to that one yet. 
• While I was searching for a link for that story, I found another recent story related to pregnancy loss and Mother's Day from CBC British Columbia, and thought I'd share it with you all (even though Mother's Day was several weeks ago).  
• I found this link via Sari Botton's Substack, I think: "I Was Devastated By The Death Of My Newborn Baby. This Unexpected TV Show Helped Me Feel Alive Again." (Subhead: "I laughed — out loud — for the first time in weeks. I had forgotten that I still knew how.")  
• I felt/feel the same way about the book "Bridget Jones's Diary" by Helen Fielding. I've written about my fondness for the book many times before (here, for example). It made me laugh at a time I never thought I'd laugh again. 
• I don't remember latching on to a sitcom the same way, but during the 2+ months I was at home I watched lots of episodes of "The View" (which was still pretty new, I think) and Oprah, as well "A Wedding Story" on TLC.  I could NOT watch "A Baby Story," for obvious reasons, but the wedding stuff was something I could get enjoy. 
• In the Globe & Mail, Aviva Coopersmith asks "Who's my dad?"  and calls for the end of donor gamete anonymity. (Gift link) 
• On the Life Without Children Substack, Charlie Brown asks (in a piece that originally ran on Medium): "How Do You Grieve For Infertility When There Is Always Another Potential Route to Parenthood?"   Sample passage:  

...I feel the weighty expectation that I should try to be a parent by any means necessary, regardless of how much it costs or how stressful and traumatic the process is. I feel the expectation that my own feelings should be shelved as I relentlessly slog through parenting alternatives.

Don’t grieve, it’s not over yet!

When you’re infertile, it’s never over. There is always another round of IVF. Another donor egg to procure. Another sperm donor to use. Another vulnerable child to adopt. And of course, there’s always another payment plan to help make your dreams come true.

• And on her own Substack, On the Outside, Y.L. Wolfe turns the spotlight on the long-ignored power of single & childless women.  A couple of excerpts:  

We aren’t just a demographic that is doing some heavy lifting in society and outperforming many other demographics, but we literally have enough numbers to qualify us as a force to be reckoned with.

We have the power, we have the competence, and we have the numbers.

No wonder they are afraid of the “cat ladies” of America!

and (and this is SO true, I think!!) 

I often think that childless women must scare the shit out of mothers, the same way that childfree women scare men. Childfree women remind men (and all of society, I might add) that women have a choice in what they do with their lives, something our society desperately doesn’t want women to remember. Childless women remind mothers (and again, all of society) that we can make choices…and things still might not work out the way we planned, something our society desperately wants to deny.

Women without children are a scary demographic. And what does it mean when society is scared of a demographic? It means we have power.

And that’s why society works so goddamn hard to try to convince us we don’t.

• I'm not sure whether non-subscribers can access this? But Anne Helen Petersen (who is childfree by choice) hosts a Culture Study podcast on Substack, as well as her Substack newsletter -- and she recently did an episode on the subject of "intensive parenting trends." I have not listened to the episode yet (although I've browsed the transcript) -- but I read her intro, as well as the comments.  She said (in part): 

People often ask me why I care so much about parenting when I am not, myself, a parent. This question is always so weird to me — of course I care about parenting norms, because I’m surrounded by parents! The choices that parents make (in the voting booth, as consumers, as community members, as friends) have so many direct and indirect effects on my life and everyone’s lives. Plus I’m always interested in how people try and make sense of a ton of contradictory information and “best practices” about how to be in the world, and whew, that is contemporary parenting right now.

I commented:  

That first paragraph -- so true! Thank you for that, AHP (from another non-parent, albeit it was not a choice on my part). Just because we don't have kids doesn't mean we aren't interested. (To a point, anyway, lol.)

To which AHP responded: 

LOL LORI YES

(LOL indeed...!)  

• Finally, this is a really, really excellent article that is definitely worth a read:  "If you’re 50, childless, and people keep asking “don’t you regret it?”—here’s what psychology says."  Extremely well said!   

"Rules for Visiting" by Jessica Francis Kane

"Rules for Visiting" by Jessica Francis Kane is the July pick for my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club. It will be deeply relevant to many women without children, who experience what Jody Day has called a "friendship apocalypse" when their friends start having babies and life paths begin to diverge sharply. It's a book about friendship, family, trees and gardening, and the lingering impact of traumatic loss and grief.   

The premise: May Attaway -- a single, 40-year-old gardener and landscape designer, who lives at home with her widowed father -- is unexpectedly granted an extra month of vacation time/leave. May has very few friends, and decides to use her vacation time windfall to visit and reconnect with four once-close friends she hasn't seen in many years, who are scattered across the United States and in London, England. Interspersed between the chapters are some beautiful line drawings of various tree species, along with May's descriptions (which really aren't just about the trees). 

It took me a while to get into this book. May's narration is a little flat, especially at first, and takes a little getting used to. But once May began her round of visits, the story started to get more interesting, and all the various plot points came together in a lovely way by the end. I was a little teary by then.  

I'm glad I read this one. A solid 4 stars on both Goodreads & StoryGraph. 

This was Book #17 read to date in 2025 (and Book #1 finished in June), bringing me to 38% of  my 2025 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 2 books behind  schedule to meet my goal.  :)  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2025 tagged as "2025 books." 

#MicroblogMondays: An old friend returns! :)

Do you (or did you) have a "signature scent"?  

A girlfriend gave me a small bottle of Fidji by Guy Laroche for my 21st birthday (and y'all know how long ago THAT was!!). I loved it, and it became my go-to/"everyday" eau de cologne for the next several decades. (It was a step up from Charlie and Love's Baby Soft, lol.) (A few of my other favourites included Clinique Wrappings -- sadly long gone now -- and for dressy occasions, Chanel Allure.)  

But then Fidji started getting harder to find (I referenced that in this post from 2011!) -- and more departments at work started going scent-free -- so I stopped wearing perfume regularly, except on special occasions such as weddings. 

Nevertheless, I was tickled to spot an old familiar logo on the shelf at the drugstore recently -- I even brought out my phone/camera and snapped a photo that I posted on Instagram (see below). I still have a partly full bottle that I've been hoarding (it hasn't evaporated yet!  lol) -- but it's nice to know it's back, if I want more! 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

It's baaaackkk!  :) 

Annoying things & small pleasures

 Annoying things:  

• Not so much "annoying," but sad: smoke from the wildfires in Saskatchewan and my home province of Manitoba (1000+ miles away) has reached us. :(   it's not as bad (so far...!) as the smoke from fires in Alberta & British Columbia was, a few years ago, but it's noticeable.  The forecast has been for sun, but the sky turned grey & slightly hazy on Monday night and has stayed that way. 
• So far, the air quality index is not too bad (the weather sites rate the risk today as "moderate). I know it's a lot worse in northern Ontario, as well as Minnesota & Iowa, etc.-- not to mention outside the fire zones in those two provinces.  Mom & Dad are nowhere near the fires but they've had to keep the windows closed (the levels there are in the "dangerous" zone).  We're keeping ours closed too, and I've got the air purifier running, although the current inside reading is not too bad either. 
• Related annoying thing:  pollen.  Dh has been sneezing like crazy, and I've had to take a couple of antihistamines in the past few days too. Eyes have been feeling gritty and irritated for both of us. 
• No water! (for just an hour this morning, but still...)  The city has been working on the sewers outside our building, and we had our water turned off for a hour this morning while they did some "backflow testing" (we were notified well in advance). We set the alarm clock and got up early to take our showers and get the laundry going before then (Wednesday has been laundry day lately). They were out there all day, and it was noisy (and smelly! -- sewer gas) -- but it was only an hour of real inconvenience, so... 
• (Speaking of noise...) The cacophony from lawnmowers, weed whackers, and (especially!) leaf blowers!! (One downside of summer weather!)  
• Shoe shopping:  I am looking for a pair of dressy sandals (preferably silver, but navy would also do) to wear with the new dress(es) I bought for a family wedding later this summer. Easy peasy, right?  Well, no. 
• The biggest hurdle and main issue:  I have very wide/thick feet that are VERY hard to fit. (It's a common feature on my dad's side of the family, and it is f***ing annoying.)  I can't even slide (cram?) my foot into many shoes that are specifically designated "wide width."  
• I want something that's flat or low-heeled (not kitten heels or stilettos).  I actually HAVE a couple of pairs of dressy silver sandals that I bought and wore the nephews' weddings (gulp -- 7 and 9 years ago now!) -- but they both have heels that are slightly higher than I am comfortable with these days. Given the tumbles I've taken recently (in low/flat heeled shoes!), I do NOT want to tempt fate and embarrass myself in front of a couple hundred wedding guests! 
• Also, they are not especially comfortable -- but it seems that finding dressy silver or navy sandals with low heels that actually fit my feet AND are decently comfortable would be the equivalent of winning the Powerball lottery...!  I will wear them if absolutely nothing else turns up (and jus be very careful...!).  The good thing is I still have two months to look!  
• I received an email notice on May 22nd that Pocket is "saying goodbye" -- i.e., shutting down. (I should have known when they were bought out by Mozilla in 2017 -- a buyout never seems to bode well..)  Mali recommended it to me years ago and I've been using it ever since then to save/bookmark articles I've been reading.  (It's also been very handy to get around some -- not all, but some -- paywalled material.)  
• Apparently we can export our saved items.  But to where?? (Any suggestions/recommendations?) 
• Not seeing Little Great Nephew #1 since Easter (and his brother only once briefly, almost a month ago now).  :(  
• The flood of "last day of school," prom and graduation photos began a few weeks ago and will continue through to the end of June. Sigh... (I do enjoy seeing them -- to a point! -- but after a while, it gets to be a little too much...)  
• The cost of flying within Canada. (I just booked our tickets to visit my family in July. OUCH.) 

 Small pleasures: 

• (On the flip side of the above point...!)  Having a trip "home" to look forward to...! 
• Finding matching "Cousin Crew" T-shirts in all the right sizes for all three LGNs!  ;)  
• A free month's trial of Ancestry DNA's ProTools. I've been particularly interested in (and taking advantage of) its "enhanced shared matches" feature, which lets you see how your shared matches are related to each other. Most of us are distant cousins to each other, of course, but I've been able to clarify a few relationships in some cases, which has been a big help.  :)  
• I actually missed the deadline to cancel before I was charged so I guess I'm paying for a month (erk! -- annoying thing).  I'm not sure I'll subscribe long term -- I already have a regular Ancestry subscription (which is not cheap), and this is an add-on to that -- but I can definitely see periodically subscribing, doing a spurt of research and then unsubbing, like some people do with streaming services. 
• The wit & wisdom of Kermit the Frog, needed now more than ever...!  (Lucky graduates!) 
• One of my classmates actually sang "The Rainbow Connection" at our high school graduation ceremony. (This was 1979, not long after the original Muppet Movie was released.)    

#MicroblogMondays: Summer reading

The New York Times had several articles this week (they are probably in Sunday's print version books section) about summer reading. There were the usual lists of great picks to consider reading this summer. But there were also a couple of articles about the practice of summer reading itself -- in particular, a story about summer reading challenges (they're not just for kids anymore! -- gift link included), and a suggested "summer reading bucket list" (this one was for subscribers only, sorry).  

That got me thinking about my own relationship with summer reading. I was always a big reader when I was a kid. (I know, you are SO surprised, right??  lol)  In that time before cable TV, when we only got one TV channel (! -- unthinkable these days, I know...!) or the Internet, reading was one of the main ways we spent our free time. And summertime -- with no school or most other organized activities to worry about, no summer jobs (for my first one when I was 17), and many of our friends away on vacation -- gave us plenty of extra time to dive into one book after another.  We spent a good chunk of every summer at our grandparents' house in northwestern Minnesota, and regularly raided the local library there (they let us have cards even though we didn't live there, because it was a small town and everyone knew our grandparents). Grandma had a wonderful screened-in porch off the kitchen at the side of the house, covered in virginia creeper vines, and my sister & I sent many hours out there with our books.  

I remember the library had summer reading challenges/programs back then, and even though we weren't around for the entire summer, we usually breezed through the challenges. I remember one year in particular (possibly 1976/Bicentennial?) when we got maps of the U.S., and for each book we read, we got a sticker in the shape of one of the states to fill in the map. My completed map, with all 50 states covered in with stickers, sat in a drawer at my parents' house for many, many years (and may still be there, for all I know...! -- I'll have to check next time I'm there!). (If I threw it out, I wish I'd taken a photo first, because I was very proud of it!)  

I'm nowhere near the reader I was then -- but I still find myself hoping to get through a good stack of books every year when summer rolls around. I used to regularly pack a pile of books in my suitcase when heading "home" to spend time with my parents (almost) every summer (before e-reading took over most of my reading life -- and lightened my luggage weight considerably! lol), and I did manage to read a lot of them. I've been less successful in recent years, partly because of online distractions (cough!), but also because my parents have needed more help around the house as they've aged, and that's consumed more of the time I used to spend reading.  Still, there's a certain mystique to the image of lying on a beach or a pool somewhere, or sitting on a deck/porch with a glass of something cold and a good book to read...! 

While I usually set a goal each year for the number of books I'd like to read (via Goodreads), I have never attempted completing a challenge like the NYT's suggested bucket list ("read a book published in the last year... a book in a genre you don't typically read... a book that takes place in the summer..." etc. etc.).  I prefer to read what I want (in between book club obligations, lol) versus ticking off items on a list.  (What if I'm not in the mood to read a book that would fit one of the bucket list categories right now? Maybe I'd rather read something else instead?) I found myself nodding when I read one comment that said, "No, thank you. Reading challenges are too much like homework." 

How about you? Do you find you read more in the summertime? Do you look forward to "summer reading"?  Do you have any particular goals for summer reading this year? 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.