Right now

Right now...* 

*(A (mostly) monthly series/meme.  Explanation of how this started & my inspirations in my first "Right now" post, here. Also my first (similar) "The Current" post, here.)

April was still pretty grey & chilly -- there were still some snowflakes in the air (if not sticking to the ground) on April 19th (!) -- but towards the end of the month, the temperatures warmed up enough that we were able to open the balcony door on several afternoons.  The trees (finally) began budding out, and we could see some daffodils in the neighbourhood yards.  It's about time!!  We celebrated Easter with the family, dh had another birthday, and we made plans for another trip west to see my dad (coming up soon). 

Some of the things I/we did this month include: 

• Went to Michaels & Chapters (bookstore) to pick up a few more things for the great-niblings' Easter goodie bags. (April 1st) 
• Drove with dh into the heart of the city to have my eyes checked by the same ophthalmologist who did surgery on my right eye in July 2022. And was VERY relieved that further surgery is not needed (at least, not at this point in time)! -- see this post. (April 2nd) 
• Spent Easter with BIL & family, including SIl's two brothers and their partners/families -- 18 people in a not-huge house, including four children between the ages of 1 and 8. It was chaotic, but fun to see everyone, and dinner was excellent. 
• Shopped for groceries at the supermarket and picked up takeout soup or pizza for lunch (April 6th, 13th, 20th & 27th).  
• Went to the mall to walk & shop for a couple of hours (April 7th , 14th, 21st & 28th). 
• Our visits have been a bit shorter than usual this month (and my wallet is a bit fatter!  lol) -- Old Navy is closed for renovations until mid-June. Horrors!!  (lol)  
• Celebrated dh's birthday with takeout for dinner (Chinese -- see "Eating," below). (April 11th) 
• Returned to the mall in our old community for haircuts, lunch and shopping/walking. Also visited Katie at the cemetery. (April 17th) 
• Headed into midtown for follow-up optometrist appointments (April 22nd).  As I wrote here, new glasses (for both of us) are on hold for now, but we'll be back in October and we'll see then...! 
• Browsed at the bookstore and picked up a few things at the supermarket en route home (April 24th). 
• Drove with BIL & SIL to dh & BIL's cousin's house (the same cousin who hosts us at their cottage every year)(April 24th). He & his wife are both accountants and they do BIL & SIL's income taxes every year at this time! as well as Older Nephew's and his wife's.  (Dh does ours.) 
• (Dh went with BIL & SIL up to Older Nephew's on Sunday afternoon, April 26th, to have lunch, visit and deliver their completed income taxes. I stayed home to host a previously scheduled meeting of one of my online book clubs.)

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Also right now:  

Reading: I finished 2 books in April (all reviewed on this blog, as well as Goodreads & StoryGraph, & tagged "2026 books").  Year to date, I've read 8 books,  reached 20% of my Goodreads Challenge goal, and am currently 5 books behind schedule to achieve it by year end.  

• "The Bandit Queens" by Parini Shroff (the May selection for my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club).  (4 stars;  my review.)
• "The Four Graces" by D.E. Stevenson -- re-read/readalong/discussion with my D.E. Stevenson group, which began Feb. 23 and concluded a few days ago. Original 2015 review here;  February 2026 review here. (4 stars;  latest review.)   

Current reads: 

• "Regeneration" by Pat Barker. Slow readalong with Footnotes & Tangents (April 3rd – May 14th). Currently 60% completed. 
• "The Forsyte Saga" by John Galsworthy. After mulling it over (see this post!), I accepted a commenter's suggestion to do a readalong together!  Currently 34% completed. 
• "Childless: A Woman and a Girl in a Man's World" by Fabiana Formica.  This one is beautifully written, but slow going, and I was reading it (or trying to...!) at Mom & Dad's last summer, where there were a lot of distractions. I've put it aside for the moment to focus on other reading priorities, but I've completed 33% to date.
• "L.M. Montgomery and Gender," an essay collection edited by E. Holly Pike & Laura Robinson. Slowly working my way through, in between the other books...! 

Coming up: Most of my book groups have their next reads plotted out for a few months in advance -- and listing them here helps me keep track of what I should be reading next. ;)  

• For my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club:  
• "The Ministry of Time" by Kaliane Bradley (June). (I previously read and reviewed this one, here;  rated 4.5-5 stars.) 
• "The Hacienda" by Isabel Canas (July)
• "In Memoriam" by Alice Winn (August).  (I previously read and reviewed this one, here;  4-5-5 stars.)  
• "Young Woman and the Sea" by Glenn Stout (September)
• "The Wedding People" by Alison Espach (October). (I previously read and reviewed this one, here;  rated 4-4.5 stars.)
• "The Women" by Kristin Hannah (November)
• For my D.E. Stevenson group: Next books to be determined... 

• Footnotes & Tangents slow readalongs for 2026 include:
• "The Inheritors" by William Golding (June)
• "Treacle Walker" by Alan Garner (July)
• "The Children’s Book" by A.S. Byatt (September–December)

A few recently purchased titles (all in digital format, mostly discounted ($5-10 or less) or purchased with points): 

• "Trying" by Chloe Caldwell 
• "Atmosphere" by Taylor Jenkins Reid 
• "Woman on the Edge of Time" by Marge Piercy 
• "Silences" by Tillie Olsen
• "My Real Children" by Jo Walton 

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Watching: Actually watched a fair bit of new stuff this month! 

• "Finding Your Roots" (season 12) on PBS, Tuesday nights, which began in January.
• "The Forsytes" on PBS.  This started on March 22nd and ran for six  (6) episodes, ending April 26th.  I'm still reading the book ("The Forsyte Saga" by John Galsworthy -- see "Reading," above!), but (as I speculated in this previous post) the series is a "reimagining" of the novel and/or a sort of prequel to it, and not a strict adaptation -- highly soap opera-fied, and not particularly faithful to the period it's supposed to be set in (late 1880s/Victorian England). Somewhat entertaining, but... (I'll probably still watch season 2, though...!)
• "The Count of Monte Cristo" (on PBS, immediately following "The Forsytes" on Sunday nights -- it also started on March 22nd = 6 episodes of eight aired to date). Lost treasure, lost love and ridiculously complex revenge plots! with a huge cast of characters and subplots to keep track of (still not sure I have them all straight??).  But also jaw-dropping sets/locations and gorgeous costumes.  I am enjoying it!  
• Men's world curling championships in Ogden, Utah. Our Canadian rink, skipped by Matt Dunstone from Manitoba, lost the gold medal match to Sweden on April 4th.   

Playing:  

• Heardle Decades: (as of April 30th): 
• Heardle 60s: 74.1% (918/1239, 374 on first guess), down 0.1% from March 31st. Max streak: 21. 
• Heardle 70s: 74.9% (738/985, 412 on first guess), down 0.4% from March 31st. Max streak: 18. 
• Heardle 80s:  41.5% (348/838, 131 on first guess), down 0.3% from March 31st. Max. streak: 5.
• Heardle 90s: 33.3% (313/939, 81 on first guess), down 0.1% from March 31st. Max. streak: 9. 
• NYT Connections: 
• By March 31st, I had completed 594 games, won 89% of them (unchanged since Dec. 31st), including 317 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors, and 18 where I got the most difficult/purple category first (unchanged from Dec. 31st). Maximum winning streak:  45 (unchanged since June 30th).  Current streak: 3.  
• As of April 30th, I'd played 624 games and won 89% of them, including 337 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors, and 18 where I got the most difficult/purple category first. Maximum winning streak: 45 (unchanged since June 30th). Current streak: 11. 

Listening: To a couple of episodes of The Full Stop and Culture Study (with Anne Helen Petersen). 

Following:  The journey of Artemis II around the moon and back to earth, earlier this month -- with Canadian astronaut Jeremy Hansen on board, as well as the first black man and first woman to orbit the moon (and a childless woman at that!).  From its launch on April 1st to its textbook perfect splashdown on April 10th, this was a joy to follow, and a much-needed feel-good story at a dark time in the world... 

Eating/Drinking:  

• Over the past 18 months, we've been trying to eat healthier and lower our cholesterol -- and avoid having to take (more) medication -- since some less-than-stellar bloodwork results for both of us in fall 2024 and then again (for me) last November (2025, as mentioned in November's Right Now post). 
• I ended April 1.4 pounds less than when the month started.  Overall, I'm down more than 14 pounds since late October 2024 -- close to my lowest weight in more than a decade -- and more than 26 pounds from my heaviest-ever weight  (in August 2021). 
• (Dh is down more than 18 pounds overall since fall 2024.)
• We celebrated dh's birthday on April 11th with takeout from a popular Chinese chain restaurant outlet (not the healthiest stuff, but we hadn't had it in quite a while!). We usually get their "Dinner for Two," which includes 2 egg rolls, sweet & sour chicken balls, chicken chow mein, and fried rice. (Also fortune cookies, of course!)  It's a ton of food and we always have enough leftovers for another complete dinner later in the week!  
• Older Nephew's Wife sent home some leftover burgers, hot dogs and pasta salad with dh when he went up there with BIL & SIL for lunch last Sunday (while I hosted an online book club Zoom). Dh thinks pasta salad (or cold pasta anything) is gross (likewise bean salad)... his loss!  (I don't care for the peppers & cucumbers in it, but I just pick those out and eat the rest!)  
• We indulged in takeout pizza slices or soup from the supermarket, once or twice a week, for lunch and/or dinner. Saturday night takeout dinners this month included teriyaki rice bowls from the supermarket, and rotisserie chicken (baked potato on the side for me;  fries for dh) from Swiss Chalet.    
• Trying to use up what's in the fridge/cupboards as much as possible, and minimize new purchases, leading up to our upcoming trip.  We'll do a big trip to the grocery store to restock when we return.  

Wearing: The weather was mild enough overall that, by mid-month, there were several days when I was able to ditch my socks and go barefoot in the house (if not outside...!), plus switch from long to short sleeved T-shirts and long to capri-length yoga pants (again, not outside yet!). :) 

Buying (besides books, lol):  Plane tickets for our next visit to my dad, next month (at a thankfully/relatively -- and surprisingly, considering current world events and their impact on fuel prices -- reasonable price).  

Also, not exactly "buying," but we both had to pay income taxes (ouch!). 

Planning:  Our next trip to Manitoba to see my dad, and help my sister with the ongoing house cleanout and setting up Dad's new apartment (he took possession on April 30th). Sis has stacked a pile of boxes in the closet of the room where we stay for me to go through while I'm there (and sent me a photo -- see here!)(eeeekkkk....!).  

Missing:  Dh's cousin's daughter's wedding in July. We had to RSVP this week. It's the same week as my dad's 87th birthday and what would have been my parents' 66th wedding anniversary, and I think I need to be with my dad then.  I would have liked to go, though -- I have a nice dress I could have worn, and it's always fun to see everyone. (Plus, it's being held at a barn venue!! -- which is a real departure for dh's family's weddings!  I'm curious!  lol)  

Prioritizing/Trying: To tackle some of the "stuff" in my own house/condo (see above for my inspiration!  lol).  Granted, we did get rid of a lot of stuff when we moved, 10 years ago -- but there's a lot that I haven't looked at/re-evaluated since then, and there's more that can be done...!  (And I'll likely be bringing at least a few more things home with me from my Dad's house too!)  I've made progress on whittling down the magazine pile under the living room coffee table (yay me?). 

Loving:  When I actually get a good night's sleep!  ;)  

Noticing: The trees are starting to bud with leaves and blossoms!  And I've seen some daffodils, in the yards of the neighbourhood houses. Yay!!  :)  

Appreciating:  Being able to have the balcony door open, even slightly, on several days this month. 

Wanting:  I feel like I'm always writing this (lol), but -- what I just said above aside -- I want nicer weather!  I am sick of this winter!! 

Wondering:  When it's going to be warm enough outside to warrant a trip to the gelato shop??  ;)  

Hoping:  That we can get downtown to the AGO (Art Gallery of Ontario) to see the Paul McCartney photo exhibit that's on there until June 7th. (Which might be difficult, given that we'll be away for two of the remaining weeks the exhibit is on...) I don't think I've been downtown since I met Mel and her family for dinner, two summers ago! 

                        

Feeling: Glad that it's (finally!) starting to feel at least a little bit like spring (even if it's taken its sweet time getting here...!).  A little dazed at how quickly the days, weeks, and this year generally so far are passing by. (How is it May already??)  Sad that this upcoming visit will likely be the last time I spent with my dad & sister in our family home of the past 42 years. :(  Missing my mom. :(   

Things are happening quickly...

"The house is listed," dh told me, as he looked at a realtor site on his phone screen on Saturday afternoon.  

It was the moment I'd been expecting. Anticipating. Dreading. Bracing myself for. I knew it was coming, and I'd been checking the site myself every day for the previous several days.   

We (dh, me, my sister & Dad) had met with the real estate agent when we were still there in January, not long after Mom's funeral, to show her the house and get a feel for what Dad might be able to sell it for. (Dad had hired and trained her, back when he owned the company.)  He'd told me last week she'd been there to take photos and measurements.  (In fact, she'd already been over a few days before the house was actually listed with one interested potential buyer, who promptly made an offer -- which ultimately fell through.)   

But even when you've been expecting it, it's still surreal to look at a listing for your parents' home of 42 years, the place where you lived with them yourself for a year, pre-marriage, and where you've spent several weeks out of almost every year since then with them, including 40+ Christmases, a couple of (Canadian) Thanksgivings, and a week or two (sometimes three)  almost every summer.   

The photos are testament to the warm, cozy, welcoming home my parents (and especially my mother) cultivated these past 42 years -- and the hard work my sister & her partner have been doing these past few months to clean, repair and declutter -- going through drawers and closets and cupboards and the crawl space/storage area (oy, the crawl space...!), taking things to the dump, the local thrift store and elsewhere. Some tchotchkes, family photos and other decorative items remain -- but the crawl space looked almost empty (certainly compared to when I was there in January!), and the tops of counters and cabinets in every room were mostly (oddly) clear of books and knick-knacks.  

In the photos, the doors to the closets were all closed -- Sis told me she's cleared out most of the closets pretty well, aside from Dad's stuff.  But she'd stashed other things in them to get them out of the way.  She sent me a photo of the closet in the room where dh & I usually sleep, doors opened -- stacked with boxes -- and informed me (kidding/not kidding) that it will be MY task when we are next there (soon) to go through them all before it's time for us to leave again (or else she won't drive us to the airport, lol).  It's not all MY stuff, thankfully! -- she doesn't expect me to take it all home with me (not that it would all fit into my suitcases...!). Some of it is just stuff she wants my opinion on.  But it all needs to be dealt with. 

The day after the listing went up, the realtor brought another potential buyer to view the house -- which resulted in another offer.  By Sunday afternoon, the house was sold. It's conditional on the sale of the buyer's current home, but there's already some interest in that one too  Projected closing date is July 1st, but it could happen earlier too.  

Tomorrow, Dad will get the keys to the apartment that he's leased in town. This weekend, a group of strong young farmers with trucks (clients of my sister's partner) will arrive at the house and transport some of the larger pieces of furniture Dad will need over there (a couch, table & chairs, bed, dresser, etc.).   

Dh & I are coming soon, and will help to continue the cleanout and keep Dad company. My sister will have some time off while we're there, and she and I will pack up some of the smaller things Dad will need (dishes, linens, etc.) and shop for others (an area rug and small mats, a countertop microwave, possibly a small freezer, etc.) and take them over to the new place, so that he'll be able to move over and settle in there after we all leave again. 

We're going to be busy!  

I'll be spending my first Mother's Day without my mom while I'm there. But perhaps that's a topic for another/future post... 

The closet in the bedroom where dh & I sleep, 
stacked with boxes for me to sort through when I get there. 
(There may be a few more added since the photo was taken..!)

"The Four Graces" by D.E. Stevenson (re-read)

My D.E. Stevenson fan group just finished our chapter-by-chapter group reading & discussion of "The Four Graces" (first published in 1946) -- a book I've read twice before:  once in 2015, shortly after I joined the group (reviewed here), and a re-read on my own before we began our group readalong (reviewed here). It's tangentially related to Stevenson's three Miss Buncle books, with the same setting and some of the same characters in supporting roles.  (It's not necessary to have read these books first, but you will probably enjoy and appreciate "The Four Graces" more if you have.)  

The book is set in the British home front during the Second World War, and focuses on the four Grace sisters, daughters of the widowed vicar of Chevis Green: Elizabeth (Liz), Sarah (Sal), Matilda (Tilly), and Adeline (Addie).  Their cozy life together is disrupted by the arrivals of archeologist William Single, who is boarding with them while exploring the ruins of a Roman fort;  Roderick Herd, a soldier based at a nearby encampment, and the girls' Aunt Rona, whose late husband was the girls' mother's brother, and who has been bombed out of her home in London.  

The book is dated in some respects, and there are a few ALI/CNBC triggers (see my previous reviews for details -- links above).  But, as I said in my review from earlier this year, "I love the easy camaraderie among the four sisters, their loving relationship with their gentle father, the quiet strength of William, and the insights into everyday life on the homefront during the war."  The more I read/re-read this book, the more I appreciate it. It now ranks among my DES favourites.  Like most of her books, it's a wonderful "comfort" read, best enjoyed with a cup of tea in your other hand.  :)  

My previous readings of this book rated it a 4-star read (on both Goodreads and StoryGraph);  that rating still stands.   2

This was Book #8 read to date in 2026 (and Book # finished in April), bringing me to 20% of  my 2026 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 40 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 4 books behind pace to meet my goal.  :(  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2026 tagged as "2026 books." 

"The Bandit Queens" by Parini Shroff

I just finished "The Bandit Queens" by Parini Shroff, the May selection for my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club. It's been recommended to me by a couple of other childless women and book review sites.  

Reading it, I was vaguely reminded of "How To Kill Your Family" by Bella Mackie, another book club selection from earlier this year.  Both are darkly funny novels about women murdering despicable family members. 

Geeta's no-good husband Ramesh disappeared five years ago -- and now everyone in the village thinks she killed him. They also think that she's a witch.  (As if they needed further proof of that, Geeta is childless.)  

But although Geeta is shunned and isolated, the villagers are also afraid enough of provoking her displeasure to support her small business, making wedding jewelry.  (She's saving money to buy herself a refrigerator.)  Geeta received money to fund her work from a local microlender, which brings her into regular contact with other women in the village who are part of her lending circle -- all mothers who talk endlessly about their children (hmmm, this sounds familiar...). The women meet each week to make payments on their loans and keep each other accountable:  if one person doesn't pay up, the others will be on the hook for the money.  

Then, one by one, other women in the circle start enlisting Geeta's help to kill their own husbands (!). Moreover, some of them are using blackmail to get her to do it.  I'm sure it's not a spoiler to say there are complications...!  

Interwoven throughout the narrative is the story of Phoolan Devi, "the Bandit Queen," who is something of an inspiration and role model to Geeta.  I thought Devi was a mythical or historical figure, but (as the author's note at the end of the book reveals) she was actually a real-life figure, born in 1963 (just a few years after me!) into a poor, low-caste family. In a nutshell, Devi was famous as a bandit-turned-politician (!) who punished the men who abused her. She was assassinated in 2001 at age 37.   

As in "How to Kills Your Family," the violence made me a bit queasy at times (both the murders and the domestic violence some of the men inflicted on their wives and others).  The book was also a sobering reminder of the poverty and extreme patriarchy some women continue to live under. It was a little long, and I had to stop from time to time to look up unfamiliar Indian terms.

But I loved how the women ultimately set aside their differences and came together to support each other and advocate for change and justice in their community. As the NoMo Book Club said in their Goodreads review of this book:  

Ultimately, the takeaway message from the book is that the unbearable burdens of life are made tolerable by the comradeship that can be found within true female friendship. Once the women stop turning on each other, but stand as a unified whole, they are an unstoppable force - something that any non-mother who has known the strength of joining a community of other childless women can understand all too well.

And I enjoyed the humour that helped to alleviate some of the tension. There were some truly ridiculous situations depicted (I could picture them like a movie in my mind), and some lines that made me chuckle (or laugh out loud outright). For example:  

• "Never send a god to do a goddess's job."
• "We can't just knock off everyone we don't like. This isn't Indian Idol." 
• "Shooting people makes me a don; killing a dog just makes me a psychopath.” (The dog doesn't get killed, although animal abuse and its effects are briefly depicted earlier in the book.)   
• "We’re happy to be accessories. Like jewelry, but way more dangerous." 

The last few chapters were tense -- but the last line of the book left me with a smile on my face.  : ) 

4 stars on both Goodreads and StoryGraph. 

Shroff's next novel, "Some People" will be released in July. 

I was interested to learn that Shroff is/was a student and protegee of Elizabeth McCracken, who wrote one of my all-time favourite pregnancy loss memoirs, "An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination" (which I wrote about here as part of Mel's Barren B*tches Book Club), which contains one of my all-time favourite lines:  "Closure is bullshit."  

This was Book #7 read to date in 2026 (and Book #1 finished in April), bringing me to 18% of  my 2026 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 40 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 5 books behind schedule to meet my goal.  :(  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2026 tagged as "2026 books." 

Odds & ends

• Personal note:  10 years ago today (!), we took possession of the condo where we're now living, and moved out of our home of 26 years, on the other side of the city. (We spent the night at BIL's and moved our stuff in here the next day.) 
• "Boy, that went by fast," commented dh, when I reminded him. No kidding. 
• At the same time, what a lot has happened in those 10 years!:  our nephews' weddings, the arrival of three great-niblings (and a dog!),  the deaths of both FIL & my mom, as well as several other people we've loved, BIL's transplant surgery... 
• I've hashed out the pros & cons of condo living and of moving here several times before on this blog, so I won't go into those topics all over again here. Suffice to say, I'm still not wild about the community itself, but overall, we do love the condo and being closer to family.  :) 
• Mom stuff:  
• I had my first dream about Mom since she died, last week. I don't remember much about it, but she was there. I like it when the people I've loved and lost show up in my dreams. It's like a little visit from them. 
• Dh was looking for a newscast the other night, and landed on ABC World News Tonight with David Muir. Which got me teary, because my parents always ate supper late -- partly because Mom insisted on watching "her" news (on ABC -- the network broadcast, followed by the "local" news, from Fargo, ND -- although she almost always fell asleep before the end...!). She really liked David Muir and how he delivered the news as well.  It's the little, unexpected moments like that that catch me off guard and set me off (very similar to after we lost Katie).  
• Vision update:  We went into the city today for follow-up visits with our optometrist, following my opthamologist appointment earlier this month. The opthamologist determined that surgery was not necessary at this point, but there's still a small patch of developing nodules on my left cornea (as well as the small beginnings of a cataract).  Even so, my vision has not changed significantly since I last changed my glasses almost 12 (!) years ago (although both my regular and computer glasses have some scratches on them. The optometrist didn't think the scratches were that bad, though?). 
• The optometrist gave me an updated prescription for my glasses, but suggested it might be worth waiting a while longer to get new ones. We have a number of large expenses right now -- current, upcoming and anticipated:  we just paid our taxes (ouch), paid for flights to visit Dad soon (and will be going there again this summer and at Christmas), possible purchases for his new apartment to fund, as well as subsidizing his rent until he sells the house -- and we still need to purchase a cremation niche or plot at the cemetery for both him and Mom, and inter her ashes at some point -- etc. etc.... So I've decided to hold off on new glasses for a while longer.  (Dh's glasses are about the same age as mine! and he'd like new ones too, but agreed we should both wait.)  We'll be back for checkups again in six months, so we'll see what the situation is then... 

And now a few links to share: 

• Non-ALI/CNBC-related, but I thought it was worth sharing:  Canadian Returnee explains Bill C-18, Meta's response (why I'm unable to see or post news links on Facebook or Instagram), and "What Facebook's News Ban Taught Canadians."   
• I see posts on social media -- from both Americans and Canadians! -- claiming that the Canadian government is "censoring" news.  Not true!  News (actual news, from actual journalists) is readily available, online and elsewhere -- you just can't find it or share it on Facebook or Instagram. And that's because of a decision made by Meta, not the Canadian government. (The article explains more.) 
• (For some reason, Meta's ban doesn't apply on Threads??  But shhhhh, don't remind them of that...!  lol)    
• Great news:  One of the "OG" voices in the CNBC blogging world is back! Welcome back PJ at Making Sense of It All. 
• I love, love, loved this blast from the past via Tracey Cleantis Dwyer (another longtime blogger who recently launched a Substack): "The Hardy Boys and the Mysterious Case of the Magical Meeting." (Featuring Parker Stevenson, Shaun Cassidy, and an older/childless woman role model who changed Tracey's life.)  
• Speaking of Shaun Cassidy, Alan Osmond, oldest of the performing Osmond Brothers, died earlier this week at age 76, after living with MS for 40 (!) years.  Another brother, Wayne, died in early 2025 at age 73.  You know you're getting older when your teen idols start dying...  :(  
• Katie Dunn at Afterglow writes about whether children give your life "purpose" -- something that many childless women struggle with, when parenthood doesn't work out for them ("what's my purpose now?"). Part of the post is paywalled, but what's free to read is worth a look!  
• Another brilliant post from Ali Hall at Life Without Children:  "When Women Supporting Women Defaults to Mothers Supporting Mothers." (Subhead: "Compassion is never found in comparison.")  
• I vividly remember the story about the doctor whose daughter asked her that painful question -- and her response (or lack thereof) -- and posted about it at the time (during the height of the pandemic). 
• Ali is offering half-price annual paid subscriptions during the month of May. 
• Also from Life Without Children, childfree Rosie Diell ponders "What fence sitters can learn from the childless community." 
• Lana Manikowski at "Infertile and Childless. So Now What?" looks at "What Happens to Your Marriage When IVF Doesn’t Work?" A couple of excerpts: 

...for many couples, IVF doesn’t work.

And when fertility treatments end without a baby, you are left with more than grief. You are left with questions about your marriage that no one prepared you for.

I remember thinking very clearly, is this going to be enough?

 

...a marriage without children is not a lesser version of life. It is a different version of life. It can still be connected, meaningful, and something you feel proud of.

Not because you convinced yourself to be okay with it, but because you built something real together after infertility.

• Poorna Bell dismantles "the myth of grandmotherhood" (and why it's important for everyone, whether or not you have grandchildren).  Most of the post is about grandmothers, but near the end, there's this: 

What about the women who aren’t grandmothers? Where is their place in society? Most of these women will have experienced a sense of isolation and an erosion of community the first time round, when it came to not having children. Having spoken to a number of women including Jody Day about this, it appears there is a second wind in one’s 60s, around grandmotherhood that raises the same issues.

(Bell muses that this particular issue "may merit a spin-off Substack" -- I would love to read that!)  

#MicroblogMondays: Was that you, Mom??

My mother loved chocolate. You could say she was an addict. There was always chocolate around our house when I was growing up.  Most of all, there were KitKat bars. Mom loved all kinds of chocolate, but KitKats were her favourite, and she had at least one finger of a bar every night before she went to bed (and often more). She had a stash in a kitchen cupboard (high up, so the smallest visiting Little Princess couldn't reach them), and more in the pantry, when she died in January. Whenever she travelled to the States (her home country), she took a stash with her. Mom was a proud American, but she always said the KitsKats there aren't the same, the Canadian bars are better. :)  (Apparently the KitKats in the UK -- where the treat originated -- are best, but she never got to find that out for herself. If & when I ever get to the UK, I am definitely doing a taste test...!)  

Santa always filled Mom's Christmas stocking with KitKat bars. The minister of her church had the inspiration to serve mini-KitKats (Halloween treat size) at the lunch after her funeral, which made everyone laugh when they saw them. I told her Mom would have loved it. 

So naturally, I thought of my mom when I heard this recent item on the news. They say you can't take it with you... but given that this happened not too long after Mom's departure from earthly existence, I really have to wonder...!  

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Personally, I like KitKats, and I will often tuck one (usually a chunky bar) into my purse for a snack whenever we're flying somewhere -- but my favourite bars have always been pure milk chocolate -- Aero (which also originated in the UK) -- and Jersey Milk -- a Canadian classic which (horrors!) has apparently been discontinued.  :(  My favourite chocolate indulgence these days is Lindt/Lindor milk chocolate balls (large or small). How about you?)  

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.  

Annoying things & small pleasures

Annoying things: 

• The opthalmologist I saw last Thursday encouraged me to start using lid wipes again to keep the bacteria that contributes to rosacea at bay. I'd stopped using them (on the advice of my optometrist) when my eyes were giving me so much trouble last fall. They contain tea tree oil, and the optometrist thought they were exacerbating the issues I was experiencing.  We eventually got the problem under control, and all has been well since then. 
• So I used the wipes again on Friday morning (the day after I saw the opthalmologist), and there was some mild irritation. I chalked it up to the dilating drops I'd received the previous day, which left my eyes feeling somewhat raw and strained.  But within hours of using the wipes again on Saturday, my eyes promptly became very irritated, and the lids red and puffy. Not quite as bad as they'd been last fall, but not great either. 
• So I stopped using the wipes, AGAIN (probably for good this time...!). I'll be seeing the optometrist for a follow-up in about two weeks' time, but until then, I increased my use of the topical ointment she'd prescribed for me last fall (from once to twice a day, which is what I started out with when I was having issues last fall). 
• They're not quite 100% yet, but my eyes ARE looking and feeing somewhat better again. Thank goodness!  
• Realizing the new TV adaptation of Margaret Atwood's "The Testaments" (a sequel to "The Handmaid's Tale") is only available on a streaming network (Disney Plus, which we do not have).. (I watched "The Handmaid's Tale" on the Bravo channel, which we get on cable. It was/is also available on the Crave streaming network). 

Small pleasures: 

• Getting a surprisingly (relatively) good deal on airfares for our next trip to see Dad. 
• Checking out new potential ancestors for dh via Ancestry DNA's ThruLines and common ancestors features. (An easy way to lose a few hours!  lol)  
• Sunshine!! Two days this week!! It's been horribly grey for so long ( = annoying thing). Clear, sunny weather in the winter/early spring can often mean it's cold outside -- and it has been that! -- windchill was -15C when we woke up Tuesday morning! -- but it's somewhat sunny and milder today -- we have the balcony door partly open -- and it's supposed to start warming up over the weekend and into next week. (It's ABOUT TIME!!) 
• Artemis II.  :)   I got choked up when Jeremy Hansen announced the crew wanted to name a newly mapped crater after Commander Reid Wiseman's late wife Carroll. (I think everyone did!)  That group hug after the announcement...  :)  
• Also Artemis-related:  I had a good giggle when I read that the crew broke out some maple cream cookies during the time they were incommunicado on the far side of the moon.  :)  
• Small annoying Artemis-related thing:  I was sadly disappointed by the lack of Pink Floyd references I saw on social media regarding Artemis's trek to the dark side of the moon  ;) --  (although when I posted a complaint about this on Facebook, a cousin promptly responded to by posting this meme to my feed...!  Thanks, F.!)