"What Time the Sexton's Spade Doth Rust" by Alan Bradley

The 12th and final book in the Flavia de Luce series by Alan Bradley -- "Numb Were the Beadsman's Fingers"  -- was released earlier this week. However, I still hadn't read #11 -- "What Time the Sexton's Spade Doth Rust" -- and decided it would be my next read, once I'd fulfilled some book club obligations.   

As usual with a new Flavia book, it didn't take me long to read.  And, once begun, it didn't take long for the new mystery at hand to reveal itself.  Mrs. Mullet, the de Luce family's cook/housekeeper, becomes the prime suspect in the death of Major Greyleigh -- a reclusive local man and (it's rumoured) retired hangman (!) -- after he eats some mushrooms she picked and cooked for him. 

Of course, Flavia sets out to clear Mrs. Mullet's name and find the real killer.  Along the way, she's assisted by Dogger, the family's faithful gardener/chauffeur/retainer, and both helped and hindered by her obnoxious orphaned younger cousin Undine. (I will admit I found Undine as annoying as Flavia does -- but she does redeem herself by the end of the book. Sort of.)

In the process, she makes a startling discovery.  I will admit, I my jaw dropped here. At the same time, I found myself wondering whether the series had perhaps jumped the shark at this point. 

But there were also some moments of brilliance, and moments where I was laughing out loud (as usual!).  

I'm hoping to get to "Numb Were the Beadsman's Fingers" shortly -- although I will be sad to read it, knowing it's the last in the series:  the author, Alan Bradley passed away in May this year at the age of 87. What a gift he gave us! 

It's probably best to read the series in order. You'll understand and get more out of this book if you've read the previous volumes first.  

After a long internal debate over the rating, 4 stars 

This was Book #35 read to date in 2026 (and Book #2 finished in November), bringing me to 88% of  my 2026 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 40 books. I am currently 1 book ahead of schedule to meet my goal! (with 5 books to go!) You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2026 tagged as "2026 books."  

"Anna and Her Daughters" by D.E. Stevenson (re-read)

Back in September, my D.E. Stevenson fan group decided on "Anna and Her Daughters" (first published in 1958) for our next read.  We last read this book just four years ago, in the summer of 2022. 

(To be honest, I would have much preferred to read one of the several DES books we haven't yet covered since I joined the group 12 years ago -- or at least one we haven't covered quite so recently -- but, majority rules, and we had a willing discussion coordinator, so... !)  

(I had read the book through on my own before re-reading with the group back in 2022, and you can read my two previous reviews from then here and here. Since I was already pretty familiar with the story, I opted not to do a readthrough first on my own this time around and simply followed along with the group reading schedule.) 

The book is titled "Anna and Her Daughters," but Anna is actually not the main character. The novel is narrated by her youngest daughter, Jane, who is 17 as the story begins. Jane and her next-oldest sister Rosalie (a classic middle child) have always lived in the shadow of their oldest sister, the beautiful, spoiled and selfish Helen.  Their comfortable lives in London are interrupted when their father dies suddenly, leaving them with no income and very little savings. His brother, the girls' Uncle Leonard, urges them to downsize to a small flat and find jobs -- but Anna is determined to sell the house instead and return to Ryddelton, her hometown in Scotland (and the setting of several other DES books), where they can buy a small house and live more cheaply.  

Their lives are further changed when Jane meets tall, dark, handsome Ronnie Ferguson... but the relationship doesn't evolve quite the way you might think...  

Jane is an appealing heroine who grows and matures over the course of the book, and (as you might suspect!) ultimately gets a happy ending -- but (as I mentioned in my previous reviews), there were just a few too many plot twists and manouevres and holes along the way for my liking. There's a section set in colonial Kenya that's pretty wince-inducing for modern readers. Not my favourite DES book, but it has its moments. 

Our next group read will be determined soon.  

I previously rated this book at 3 stars, and that still sounds right. 

This was Book #34 read to date in 2026 (and Book #1 finished in November), bringing me to 85% of  my 2026 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 40 books. I am currently 1 book ahead of schedule to meet my goal! (with 6 books to go!) You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2026 tagged as "2026 books."  

#MicroblogMondays: Turn back time

Cue the Cher memes: Saturday night/Sunday morning, we turned back time -- "fell back" one hour and reset our clocks and watches (the ones that don't do it automatically now, anyway), from daylight saving time to standard time. (Again.)  The twice-yearly time change has been part of my life for almost all of my life, and I honestly don't remember a time when we didn't have to change the clocks.  

(There actually was, briefly, such a time in my life:  We lived in Saskatchewan from 1963 to 1969, and they have stayed on standard time year round since 1966 -- but I was just 5 years old when they made the switch, and I have no recollection of this. This made things interesting when we moved back to Manitoba in 1969, to a somewhat isolated area that got its one TV channel -- a CBC affiliate -- from Yorkton, Saskatchewan.  The time change played havoc with our TV viewing habits. For example, for half of the year, when we were on the same standard time as Saskatchewan, the suppertime news broadcast would be at 6 PM, but in Manitoba, we'd see it at 7 PM when we changed the clocks!) (I think I have those time differences straight??)  

But more and more provinces are choosing to follow Saskatchewan's example and remain on one time year-round -- usually daylight time. My home province of Manitoba (along with Alberta and British Columbia) made that decision earlier this year, and did not change their clocks this weekend.  When we go to Manitoba at Christmastime, we won't have to change our watches when we land, because we'll be on the same time -- and I (hopefully!) won't be yawning when the nightly card game stretches past my usual Eastern time bedtime.  

Scientists actually prefer and recommend permanent standard time: it's more in keeping with our body's natural rhythms.  But most people prefer the extra hour of daylight later in the day -- at least, they seem to think they do, until it's implemented?? Several countries/regions have tried permanent daylight time in past (including the U.S., in the early 1970s), but abandoned the idea a few years later.  I think permanent standard time would likely be best too -- but I also think making a decision, one way or the other, would be preferable to going back & forth twice a year.  The Ontario government here has said it would consider implementing permanent daylight time -- but only if Quebec and New York did the same.  Quebec may be making the change soon -- so New York, we're waiting...!  

The adjustment period from one timeframe to another has never been my favourite time of year, and I was dreading the plunge into darkness at an earlier time in the afternoon/evening. When we were working, there were times in the winter when it was still dark as our train pulled into the station downtown, around 7:30 AM, and dark again when we left before 5. My cubicle didn't always have a window, and if I didn't make an effort to get outside or look out a window, I could go without seeing sunlight until the weekend!  

I'm a little melancholy about the time change this year for another reason. If I dislike the time change, my late mother -- who was never great about getting out of bed in the morning at the best of times! -- absolutely loathed it.  I always braced myself whenever I called her right around when the time was changing (either way!), because I knew I would have to listen to a litany of complaints, lol.  

I couldn't help but think of her, when I learned a couple of months ago that Manitoba wasn't going to change the clocks anymore:  "Mom, you left us too soon -- you're missing out!"  I like to think she would have been happy!  (Although I'm sure she would have eventually found something else to complain about...!) 

Did you turn back your clocks over the weekend?  How do you feel about time changes?  

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.  

Right now

Right now...* 

*(A (mostly) monthly series/meme.  Explanation of how this started & my inspirations in my first "Right now" post, here. Also my first (similar) "The Current" post, here.)

October was busy! Lots of appointments that meant adjusting our usual routines & schedules a bit, some weeks. While it was cloudy and gloomy earlier in the month, things evolved into gorgeous fall weather (sometimes on the cool side, but lots of blue skies & sunshine!) and autumn colours! I often thought of the famous quote from L.M. Montgomery's "Anne of Green Gables": "I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers."  (Especially when they're followed by Novembers...!) 

Some of the things I/we did this month: 

• Browsed at the local mega-bookstore (got a tea latte at the in-house coffee shop to sip), Oct. ?th & 30th. 
• Shopped for groceries at the local supermarket -- or stopped there for groceries and/or takeout soup/pizza/rice bowls, en route home from somewhere else, multiple times during the month.  
• Had blood drawn at the nearby lab to check my cholesterol/lipid levels. (Oct. 5th) 
• Indulged in a yummy breakfast at a favourite brunch spot afterward (see "Eating/Drinking," below)
• Shopped and walked at the mall (Oct. 6th, 23rd & 27th). 
• Ate lunch in the food court there (first time in a long while since we've done that!) (Oct. 23rd).
• Spent a few hours with Little Great-Nephew #2 & his grandma (SIL)(Oct. 7th, 13th & 28th). Also on the afternoon of Oct. 20th, with the addition of LGNephew #1! --  their parents had to attend a funeral, so they took him out of school early and dropped both kids off at their grandparents' house.  
• (LGNephew #2 often makes a fuss when we leave -- or try to leave! -- which breaks my heart on the one hand, but also kind of feeds my ego! -- "He likes us! He really likes us!"  lol)  
• Attended the annual meeting of owners for our condo building. (Oct. 8th)
• Drove out to our former community for haircuts at the mall. Had lunch there, did a bit of walking and shopping. (Oct. 9th) 
• Stopped at the cemetery to visit Katie on our way there, and to pick up a prescription on our way back home. 
• Celebrated (Canadian) Thanksgiving at BIL & SIL's with the nephews and their families. (Oct. 10th)  A good time was had by all.  :)  
• Travelled about 30-45 minutes north to meet up with a childless friend I met online (who was driving approximately the same distance south from where she lives!)  at a bookstore for a tea latte. orange loaf slice (yum!) & a visit in the adjacent coffee shop (while dh browsed). We've done this before, and it seems to work well as a meeting spot for us!  (Oct. 14th) 
• Visited dh's recently divorced cousin in her new condo!  (Oct. 17th)  Great location with lots of amenities close by, and a stunning, panoramic view of the Toronto skyline (as well as the beautiful fall colours!).  Drove there with BIL & SIL.  Several other cousins & a few of their spouses were there too. We hadn't seen some of them since a family wedding last year, and we all had a great visit.  :)  
• Drove into midtown Toronto for our six-month optometrist checkups (Oct. 21st).  

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Also right now:  

Reading:  I finished 4 books in October (all reviewed on this blog, as well as Goodreads & StoryGraph, & tagged "2026 books").  Year to date, I've read 33 books,  reached 83% of my Goodreads Challenge goal, and am currently on track to achieve it by year end!   

(NOTE:  Midway through the month, Goodreads -- finally!! -- adopted a fractional star rating system like StoryGraph's.)  

Read this month: 

• "We Chase Shadows" by Richard Osman. #2 in the "We Solve Murders" series. (4.5-5 stars;  my review). 
• "The Women" by Kristin Hannah (the November book for my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club). (4 stars;  my review).  
• "The Everest Mystery: Sandy Irvine, George Mallory, and the Truth Still Buried on Everest" by Julie Summers & Joachen Hemmleb.  (Summers is Irvine's great-niece.). xx% completed. (3.5 stars;  my review.) 
• "Days at the Morisaki Bookshop" by Satoshi Yagisawa (the December book for my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club). (3.5 stars;  my review.) 

Current reads: 

• "Anna and Her Daughters" by D.E. Stevenson, with my DES group. We started Sept. 7th and will finish in the first week in November;.  (Last read 2x in 2022;  my reviews here and here.)  91% completed.  
• "The Children’s Book" by A.S. Byatt -- a "slow readalong" with Footnotes & Tangents, which started Sept. 4th and will end Dec. 18th.  57% completed. 
• "Childless: A Woman and a Girl in a Man's World" by Fabiana Formica.  This one is beautifully written, but slow going, and I was reading it (or trying to...!) at Mom & Dad's last summer (2025), where there were a lot of distractions. I've put it aside for the moment to focus on other reading priorities, but I've completed 33% to date.
• "L.M. Montgomery and Gender," an essay collection edited by E. Holly Pike & Laura Robinson. Slowly working my way through, in between the other books...! 

Coming up: Most of my book groups have their next reads plotted out for a few months in advance -- and listing them here helps me keep track of what I should be reading next. ;)  

• For my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club:  
• "The Mitford Affair" by Marie Benedict (January). (Previously read & reviewed here; 4 stars). 
• "The Other Bennet Sister" by Janice Hadlow (February) 
• "Big Swiss" by Jen Beagin (March) 
• For my D.E. Stevenson group: Future reads TBD...
• Footnotes & Tangents recently announced its slow readalong schedule for 2026-27 (and part of 2028). Along with repeats of "War & Peace" and the three volumes of Hilary Mantel's Cromwell trilogy (affectionately known within the group as "Wolf Crawl,"  lol -- I took part in both reads in 2024),  the group will be reading:  

• "The Regeneration Trilogy" by Pat Barker

  • "Regeneration" (2 Nov 2026 – 20 Dec 2026, 7 weeks). This will be a re-read of a book we covered earlier in the year, setting the stage for the other two.  

  • "The Eye in the Door" (4 Jan 2027 – 14 Feb 2027, 6 weeks)

  • "The Ghost Road" (22 Feb 2027 – 28 March 2027, 5 weeks)

• "slowJoyce:" a read-along of James Joyce’s first three books: 
• "Dubliners" (12 April 2027 – 30 May 2027, 7 weeks)
• "A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man" (7 Jun 2027 – 18 July 2027, 6 weeks)
• "Ulysses" (6 Sept 2027 – 18 July 2028, 40 weeks with 7 catch-up weeks)

I am looking forward to reading the rest of the Regeneration Trilogy (although I'm not sure I'll take part in re-reading the first book)!  As for "slowJoyce" -- I remember struggling with "Portrait of the Artist" when I was at university (although I don't think I actually finished it?).  I know that a lot can change in 45 (gulp!) years, though! I also struggled with -- and abandoned "War & Peace" around the same time -- on my own, not for class -- and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it with the group two years ago.  The group experience, and Simon's posts, certainly help. I'm not committing myself just yet, but I'm considering it... 

A few recently purchased titles -- all in digital format (except as noted), mostly discounted ($5-10 or less) or purchased with points: 

• "Alan Opts Out" by Courtney Maum  
• "We Did OK, Kid" by Sir Anthony Hopkins
• "The Solo Honeymoon" by Laura Murphy 
• "The Cruelty of Nice Folks" by Justin Ellis 
• "Making it So" by Patrick Stewart (RIP)  
• "24 Sussex Drive: The Past and Future of Canada’s Official Residence" (hardcover) by Ian Bailey & Dean Beeby.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** 

Watching: 

• "The Marlow Murder Club" (season 3) on PBS (6 episodes;  began Sept. 6th & ended Oct. 11th), based (in part) on the third book in the series by Robert Thorogood, "The Queen of Poisons" (reviewed here).   
• "Marble Hall Murders" on PBS (6 episodes; began Sept. 6th; ended on Oct. 11th), based on the book by Anthony Horowitz (reviewed here). 
• "Trespasses" on PBS (4 episodes;  began Sept. 20th and ended Oct. 11th), based on the book by Louise Kennedy (reviewed here). 
• Figure skating!!  :)  The fall Grand Prix events have started -- Grand Prix de France in Angiers was last weekend;  Skate Canada is in Kelowna, B.C., this weekend.  

Listening: To lots of 80s music on the Stingray Remember the 80s channel.  :)  

Following: 

Playing:  

• Heardle Decades: (as of Oct. 31st):  
• Heardle 60s: 74.6% (1029/1380, 434 on first guess), unchanged  since Sept. 30th. Max streak: 21.  
• Heardle Super 60s: 52.6% (40/76, 13 on first guess), down 3.0% since Sept. 30th. Max streak: 5.  
• Heardle 70s: 74.6% (836/1121, 463 on first guess), unchanged since Sept. 30th.. Max streak: 18. 
• Heardle Super 70s: 60.3% (47/78, 27 on first guess), down 0.8% since Sept. 30th. Max streak: 7 (up from 3). 
• Heardle 80s:  42.2% (412/976, 167 on first guess), unchanged since Sept. 30th. Max. streak: 6.
• Heardle Super 80s: 51.3% (40/78, 20 on first guess), up 12.4%  since Sept. 30th. Max streak: 6.. 
• Heardle 90s: 33.0% (355/1076, 96 on first guess), up 0.3% from Sept. 30th. Max. streak: 9. 
• NYT Connections: as of Oct. 31st:  (I will admit to using hints at times...!)  
• Completed games:  807  (776 as of Sept. 30th) 
• Won: 90% (unchanged since Aug. 2nd). 
• Perfect puzzles (zero errors):  432 (up from 417 as of Sept. 30th) 
• Purple category first (most difficult):  22 (unchanged since Aug. 31st). 
• Maximum winning streak:  52  (unchanged since Aug. 31st).

Eating/Drinking:  

• Over the past two years (since some less-than-stellar bloodwork results for both of us in October 2024), we've been trying to eat healthier and lower our cholesterol levels -- and avoid having to take on another prescription. (We have been slipping this past year, and this month!)  
• My most recent results (focused mostly on the cholesterol readings) were... not great. (My overall cholesterol number was actually higher than it was in October 2024.  :(  )  The office called to give me the results (although I'd already seen them online), and said the doctor will discuss them with me the next time he sees me (at my annual checkup, scheduled for Nov. 24th).  Wish me luck...!!  
• I'm exactly 1 pound less at the end of this month than I was at the beginning. Overall, I'm down 15 pounds since late October 2024 -- close to my lowest weight in more than a decade -- and 27 pounds from my heaviest-ever weight  (in August 2021). 
• (Dh is currently down 18 pounds since fall 2024.)
• Takeout meals this month included the usual pizza slices, soup and teriyaki rice bowls from the supermarket, Swiss Chalet rotisserie chicken, and our favourite wood oven thin-crust pizza. 
• Went out for brunch at a favourite spot after having the bloodwork done (Oct. 5th, AM), following a 12-hour fast. I indulged in scrambled eggs with bacon (they make it nice & crisp, the way I like it), potatos, sourdough toast with jam, orange juice and tea. Yum! 
• Celebrated Thanksgiving at BIL & SIL's (Oct. 10th). They ordered our dinner from the local supermarket's catering service:  roast turkey breast, garlic mashed potatoes & gravy, root vegetable medley, salad, cranberry sauce, pasta in cheese sauce (basically a fancier version of mac & cheese!), and mini-cannolis for dessert. The nephews brought pies (pumpkin, apple & blueberry) and we brought a fruit tray to nibble on, and we all left with leftovers for another dinner. It wasn't my mom's turkey dinner -- but it was still pretty good! (And we got sent home with leftovers for another dinner the next day!) 
• We decided to have lunch at the mall after shopping there on Friday, Oct. 23rd, when the water to our building was going to be shut off (!)(exact time & duration uncertain). We chose Shake Shack, which opened an outlet in the food court there earlier this year. Shake Shack is relatively new to Canada (arrived here about two years ago and now has a few restaurants in the Toronto area as well as one in Calgary), but I remember when I went to New York City in 2013 with dh's cousins, there was a Shake Shack directly across the street from our hotel. We didn't eat there then, but I noticed there was a continual lineup outside, all day!
• We both had burgers, and shared an order of crinkle-cut fries and a chocolate shake.  All very tasty.  I don't have burgers very often these days, and it's probably been at least a decade or two since I had a milkshake!  

Wearing: Early on this month, I reluctantly put away my capris and sandals, and started wearing longer pants/jeans & sleeves, socks and slippers. :(   Started wearing a denim jacket outside too (which -- so far! -- has been enough...). 

Buying (besides books, lol):  Stuff for the great-niblings' Halloween goodie bags, which I gave to them on the Thanksgiving long weekend... and I've started to collect stuff for their Christmas gifts, as well as both great-nephews' upcoming birthdays (in November & December). Ho ho ho!!  

And speaking of Christmas:  we booked our plane tickets to Manitoba for the holidays (ouch!! -- travel within Canada is expensive!). We'll be staying almost three weeks, again. (Merry Christmas, Dad!)  

For me:  A Christmas themed "Nice Team" T-shirt (as in "naughty or nice?")  from Old Navy's Christmas PJs collection (lol).  :) (Think that will convince Santa?? lol)  

Trying: To make more time in my day for reading books (vs online stuff).  

Prioritizing: Actually, I'm not succeeding at prioritizing much these days...!  :(   I have to-do lists and great intentions, but the days go sailing by, the lists never seem to get shorter, and my email inbox just keeps growing....   (Maybe the verb should be "floundering" instead?) 

Noticing:  The dirt on the windows.  With the changeover in property management, they didn't get washed this spring/summer -- and we didn't get the balcony windows cleaned either.  :(  (We get professionals in for most of the building's windows, but they will not come onto our baldonies, so we're responsible for doing the windows there -- and I usually do ours right around the same time.)  Sigh.  

Appreciating:  The mostly nice weather we've been having lately, and the beautiful fall colours.  Also: our new ultra-quiet dishwasher!!  (which we bought last month)  (It cleans really well too!)  

Loving:  The October light, and the beautiful fall colours!  

Feeling: More upbeat as the month ends than when it started (although I know November is now upon us..!).  

Coming up in November (my least-favourite month!): U.S. midterm elections; Remembrance Day; what would have been Katie's 28th (!) birthday; Grey Cup (in Calgary);  Little Great-Nephew's 7th (!) birthday; annual checkups with our family doctor (and likely a prescription for cholesterol meds for me)(GULP...);  U.S. Thanksgiving... and full speed ahead to December and Christmas!    

'Days at the Morisaki Bookshop" by Satoshi Yagisawa

My co-host at the Childless Collective Nomo Book Club and I were looking for something short and not too taxing (if not Christmas./holiday-related) for our group to read and discuss during the busy month of December -- and she suggested "Days at the Morisaki Bookshop" by Satoshi Yagisawa (translated from Japanese by Eric Ozawa).  (Bonus: a touch of diversity from our usual choices, as the book is set in Japan.)  

Takako is 25, working at an office job in the city, enjoying life and expecting a proposal from her boyfriend, Hideaki -- until he announces he's getting married -- to one of their coworkers. In despair, Takako quits her job, holes up in her apartment, and falls into depression.  

As her savings dwindle, she gets a call out of the blue (prompted by her mother, she suspects) from her uncle Satoru, who runs the second-hand bookstore originally owned by Takako's great-grandfather, in Jimbocho, a Tokyo suburb famous for its many used bookstores.  Takako was close to Satoshi in her childhood, but hasn't seen him in years. Nevertheless, when he throws her a lifeline -- a room above his bookstore, in exchange for helping out in the store -- she accepts. 

Satoru is in his mid-40s, slightly eccentric, and separated from his wife Momoko, who left him five years ago. He and Takako make an odd couple -- but they gradually begin to rebuild their once-close relationship. Satoru introduces her to his regular customers, as well as the coffee shop where she becomes a regular and makes new friends. Constantly surrounded by books, it's probably inevitable that Takako eventually becomes an avid reader. 

I enjoyed this book overall. It was a short, pleasant read, and it was nice to read something on the cozy/lighter side as autumn set in -- albeit it does touch on a few darker angles/triggers, including (content/ALI warnings/potential spoilers) depression, abortion, stillbirth, serious illness (possibly terminal) and suicidal ideation. I enjoyed that the book focused on the relationships between an uncle (and aunt) and niece, and how they helped to heal each other. And it's always fun reading a book that's about/touches on books and the love of reading. There's a note at the back about some of the books mentioned and which ones are available in English. 

3.5 stars on Goodreads and StoryGraph.   

This was Book #33 read to date in 2026 (and Book #4 finished in October), bringing me to 83% of  my 2026 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 40 books. I am currently on track to meet my goal! You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2026 tagged as "2026 books."  

Hey 19!

19 years ago tonight, after the last trick-or-treater departed and we turned out the porch light, I hit "post" on my very first entry in this space. 19 years and more than 2,700 published posts later (!), I am still here, still writing about pregnancy loss, infertility and childlessness -- which is why I started my blog -- but also about books, getting older, dealing with the aging parents (from a distance), being an aunt and great-aunt, living in a condo, living through a pandemic -- in short, life.  

The Internet, and the blogosphere, have changed dramatically over 19 years -- but there are still many of us out here, writing about and connecting over our shared experiences -- if not always in old-style blogs these days, then on Substack, on social media, through podcasts and through private communities such as the Childless Collective. The childless-not-by-choice segments of the infertility and non-parenting communities have grown by leaps and bounds. There's always room for improvement, of course! -- but the progress has been unmistakeable for those of us who have been around a while. (Long may it continue...!) 

How long will I keep writing here?  Who knows?  I never would have imagined, 19 years ago tonight, that I'd still be here all these years later. Never say never (either way), right? Granted, my output has slowed a bit in recent years (and a lot this past year), after hitting an all-time high of 213 posts in 2021 -- the height of the pandemic, coincidentally or not (versus 132 posts last year in total, and 94 to date in 2026, including this one).  I've been distracted with other things since my mother's death in January -- and sometimes I find it hard to focus on other things that once consumed me, especially online stuff.  Quite frankly, even before Mom died, I have felt like I don't have quite as much to say here as I once did. (Or that what I do have to say is just a repeat of something I've already said here, probably more than once -- and often using the exact same wording too!)  

But still, not too bad. :)   Blogging has been a amazing outlet, a (partial) record of my life I can consult and look back on, and a great source of comfort and wonderful friendships for nearly two full decades -- and right now, I have no intentions of closing up shop anytime soon. :) 

Whether you've been here from the early days or just found this blog recently, thank you all for reading and commenting. :)  

*** *** *** 

Blogging stats, 19 years later:  

 
Number of years blogging: 19

Published posts (including this one): 2,7444

Average # of posts per year: 144 (two fewer than last year) 

Average # of posts per month: 12 

(So far in calendar year 2026, I've published 93 posts -- 94, including this one -- a minimum of 5 posts (in both January and May) and as many as 16 (in September, thanks to World Childless Week and its daily themes!).

Published comments: 12,830 

Page views (all time, as of yesterday): 5,918,092 (!!) an increase of 2.3 million views over 2025!!  

My 2025 total views of 3,608,027  (!!) was as many page views in one year as I received in the previous 17!!  This month alone to date (October 2026), my page views have been more than 400,000 (!).  Clearly, something weird is going on, as I noted in this post here from last year -- Infertile Phoenix wrote about the same phenomenon then too.)  

Followers (on Blogger):  157 

Past blogoversary posts here.

First blog post ever here! :) 

Odds & ends as October ends

• Infertile Phoenix has been blogging for 10 years now!  Go offer her congratulations on this milestone! 
• From Life Without Children, a subject many childless/free women will relate to:  "I Won’t Be Having a Baby Shower, So Please Come to My Book Launch:  Why women need to selfishly celebrate their accomplishments" by Maria Cassano.  (I'm not sure about "selfishly," but this one resonated!)  As excerpt:  

...I attend roughly two dozen showers, bachelorette parties, weddings, and children’s events every single year.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m happy to participate.

When something is important to the people I love, it’s important to me, too. But as most women know, these events are notoriously time-consuming, socially demanding, and expensive as hell — especially when you’re a self-employed introvert....

Typically, women justify these big asks using the rule of reciprocation: “When it’s your turn, you’ll be thrilled when everyone finally shows up for you.”

But what if your turn never comes?

• Also from Life Without Children:  Ali Hall is done with making parents more comfortable with her childfree by choice status by reassuring them that she doesn't hate children. (She doesn't -- but that's not the point...)  A couple of pithy excerpts (but do go read the whole thing!):  

I’ve spent too much time and energy wrapping up my choice not to have kids, or simply not having kids in general, into something digestible and palatable to make it easier for others to swallow. But I’m done. If they choke, that’s on them...

If we don’t have kids through choice, then every time we have reason to speak of this choice, many of us childfree women feel compelled to round the edges, to soften the perceived sharpness of this choice with a declaration of love for children, and an admiration for parents - particularly mothers - as if bowing down to a higher power. We feel the need to exclaim loudly that we aren’t monsters in the hope that we won’t be cast out....

When did you last hear a mother talking about her kids, while caveating her words with expressions of support and recognition to those who are childfree by choice, or an acknowledgement of the disenfranchised grief of those who are childless not by choice?

...I’m no longer softening my childfree existence for others. If anyone wants to believe I’m a monster simply for not reproducing, that’s a flaw in them, not me. 

• Dh watches a lot of reruns of "The Simpsons" -- and I made him turn the channel when I realized it was an episode that I got quite pissed off at when it first aired a few years ago. (Hint: It involved the tensions between parents and childless people.)  I wrote about it here at the time!    
• There's a paywall, eventually, but I loved what Elizabeth Day, a well-known British novelist, journalist and broadcaster, wrote before you hit it -- a moving post about her pregnancy losses and the UK's new two-week bereavement leave policy (!!) for losses before 24 weeks ("Maybe Our Pain Was Not Without Purpose"). (North American policymakers, take note!!) 

Last month, the government announced that women and their partners who experience a pregnancy loss before 24 weeks – including miscarriage, terminations and unsuccessful IVF embryo transfers - would be entitled to up to two weeks of unpaid leave from next April. The Prime Minister, Andy Burnham, posted a statement on Instagram. It was the first time, to my knowledge, that a British Prime Minister had ever publicly stated something so concrete about pregnancy loss. And it felt seismic.

Not because it was perfect. But because it marked a meaningful direction of travel... 

To have a government willing to acknowledge miscarriage as bereavement affected me deeply. Because for years, I had been busily trying to give voice to that silence and misplaced stigma. I wrote about fertility and spoke about it and tried, as much as possible, to ensure that no-one else would feel as alone as I did.

A lofty ambition, you might think. But that ambition gave me a mission. It gave me connection. It was a choice to attach meaning to what might otherwise have remained meaningless.