Right now

Right now...* 

*(A (mostly) monthly series/meme.  Explanation of how this started & my inspirations in my first "Right now" post, here. Also my first (similar) "The Current" post, here.)

July was mostly hot, humid, smoky (wildfires in northwestern Ontario) and very busy! -- both at home and at my Dad's in Manitoba (which is where we are right now -- and which is why this post is both later and shorter than usual...!).    

Some of the things I/we did this month include: 

• Tried to stay cool (mostly at home with the air conditioning...!) during a major heatwave in early July! (At one point on July 1st, the temperature was 36C and humidex 48C!!).  
• Went out for an early anniversary dinner at a nearby Italian restaurant (yum!). (July 4th) 
• Drove up to Leaskdale, Ontario (about an hour away) on Sunday, July 5th, for afternoon tea and a performance of "The Blue Castle" (musical), based on the L.M. Montgomery novel (a favourite of mine!).  Details in this post! 
• Shopped for groceries at the supermarket (July 6th & 13th). 
• Had another (!) dinner out on our actual anniversary (July 6th) at another local (Italian) restaurant.  
• Spent the morning at the mall, walking and shopping. (July 7th & 14th) 
• Visited SIL & the Little Great-Nephews for a few hours (July 8th & 15rh). 
• Drove out to our former community for haircuts with our longtime stylist at the mall. Also did some walking and shopping and had lunch while we were there, and stopped by the cemetery en route to spend a few minutes with Katie.  (July 10th) 
• Stopped at the bank for some cash from the ABM, and shopped for birthday gifts for BIL & SIL at Chapters. (July 13th) 
• Stayed indoors as much as possible, and ran the air purifier to counter the thick wildfire smoke and poor air quality outside. (We could smell it in our unit when we woke up in the morning.) (July 15th & 16th) 
• Got myself a pedicure! (July 16th) 
• Headed west (flew) to spend two weeks with my dad (July 18th) -- which have turned into three. (A post on that to come...!)  Since getting here, we have:  
• Taken dad to several medical and other appointments, done some banking and other admin tasks related to my mom's estate and the sale of the house (which closed on July 1st). 
• Made umpteen trips to the local Co-op grocery store. 
• Made a side trip during one of those outings to the local drive-in restaurant  (a local institution for 60+ years!) for ice cream. 
• Played Saturday night TV bingo with Dad (a family tradition dating back about 50 years!).  
• Welcomed a number of visitors, including Parents' Neighbours' Daughter, the Little Princess and her two older (not-so-little anymore) sisters, and PND's parents;  (other) former neighbours from the house, and one of my cousins on my dad's side, whom I hadn't seen in about 25 years.  :)  
• Fetched things and made meals for Dad (who has mobility issues and uses a walker). 

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** 

Also right now:  

Reading: I finished 4 books in July (all reviewed on this blog, as well as Goodreads & StoryGraph, & tagged "2026 books").  Year to date, I've read 18 books,  reached 45% of my Goodreads Challenge goal, and am currently 5 books behind schedule to achieve it by year end.  

• "London Falling" by Patrick Radden Keefe. (5 stars;  my review)   
• "Treacle Walker" by Alan Garner.  (Three-week slow readalong with Footnotes & Tangents.  2.5-3 stars;  my review). 
• "Marble Hall Murders" by Anthony Horowitz -- the third book in his series featuring book editor Susan Ryeland and fictional detective Atticus Pund. I read this one in advance of the PBS Masterpiece Mystery TV series, coming Sept. 6th!  (4.5-5 stars;  my review.) 
• "The Queen of Poisons" by Robert Thorogood (The Marlow Murder Club #3). Season 3 of the PBS Masterpiece Mystery TV series, based in part on this book, also starts Sept. 6th! (3 stars;  my review.) 

Current reads: 

• "Young Woman and the Sea" by Glenn Stout (the September choice for my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club.)  Currently 62% completed. 
• "Still Glides the Stream" by D.E. Stevenson, with my DES group. We started reading & discussing this book on June 22nd and will finish in mid-August. Last read in 2021 (my reviews here & here). Currently 71% completed. 
• "The Forsyte Saga" by John Galsworthy. After mulling it over (see this post!), I accepted a commenter's suggestion to do a readalong together!  Currently 65% completed. 
• "Childless: A Woman and a Girl in a Man's World" by Fabiana Formica.  This one is beautifully written, but slow going, and I was reading it (or trying to...!) at Mom & Dad's last summer (2025), where there were a lot of distractions. I've put it aside for the moment to focus on other reading priorities, but I've completed 33% to date.
• "L.M. Montgomery and Gender," an essay collection edited by E. Holly Pike & Laura Robinson. Slowly working my way through, in between the other books...! 

Coming up: Most of my book groups have their next reads plotted out for a few months in advance -- and listing them here helps me keep track of what I should be reading next. ;)  

• For my Childless Collective Nomo Book Club:  
• "The Wedding People" by Alison Espach (October). (I previously read and reviewed this one, here;  rated 4-4.5 stars.)
• "The Women" by Kristin Hannah (November)
• For my D.E. Stevenson group:  Future reads to be determined.  
• Footnotes & Tangents slow readalongs for 2026 include:

• "The Children’s Book" by A.S. Byatt (September–December) (Planning to take part in this one, as I've never read Byatt and this one sounds interesting.)    

A few recently purchased titles (all in digital format, mostly discounted ($5-10 or less) or purchased with points): (Titles not linked this time.)  

• "Famesick" by Lena Dunham 
• "The Astral Library" by Kate Quinn 
• "John of John" by Douglas Stuart
• "Polished" by Melissa Osborne
• "Strong Ground" by Brene Brown 
• "Straight Man" by Richard Russo 
• "The Mysterious Affair of Judith Potts" by Robert Thorogood 
• "The Outsourced Self" by Arlie Russell Hochschild 

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** 

Watching: 

• World Cup games. We weren't as into it as some people were (and dh was more interested than I am) -- and the fact that Italy is not in the tournament was a huge disappointment locally (it would have been bonkers in our particular suburb if they had...!)  -- but it was still fun watching some of the games and the local coverage -- particularly since Toronto is one of the host cities!  AND Canada did so well!   
• Too much Game Show Network, Cash Cab and Judge Judy (good Lord, she's obnoxious...!)...!  (Thanks but no thanks, Dad...!)  
• CFL football and Toronto Blue Jays baseball games (also Dad's viewing choices, but far preferable to the Game Show Network!  lol) 

Playing:  

• Heardle Decades: I haven't listened to the daily Heardles since we got to Manitoba, but here the stats (as of July 30th):  
• Heardle 60s: 74.3% (965/1298, 390 on first guess), up 0.1%. since June 30th. Max streak: 21. 
• Heardle 70s: 75.0% (781/1042, 438 on first guess), unchanged from June 30th.. Max streak: 18. 
• Heardle 80s:  41.3% (370/895, 148 on first guess), unchagned from June 30th. Max. streak: 6.
• Heardle 90s: 32.9% (328/996, 85 on first guess), unchanged from June 30th. Max. streak: 9. 
• NYT Connections: 
• As of June 30th, I'd played 684 games and won 90% of them (a gain of 1%! since Dec. 31st), including 370 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors, and 20 where I got the most difficult/purple category first (unchanged since Dec.  31st). Maximum winning streak: 45 (unchanged since June 30th, 2025). Current streak: 9.
• I have been playing every day we've been in Manitoba -- but I forgot to note the stats for July 31st!  So these include up to Aug. 2nd: I completed 717 games, won 90% of them (unchanged since June 30th), including 385 "perfect puzzles" with zero errors, and 20 where I got the most difficult/purple category first (unchanged since Dec. 31st). Maximum winning streak:  45 (unchanged since June 30th, 2025).  Current streak: 18..  

Eating/Drinking:  Not as healthily as we do at home...!  The results on the scale when we get back will be interesting...!  (although I have been more active while we've been here, to counterbalance the less-healthy stuff we've been eating...!).  I may have some explaining to do to my doctor when I have to redo my bloodwork in the fall, though, particularly my cholesterol levels (eeekkkk)...!  

• Over the past almost-two years, we've been trying to eat healthier and lower our cholesterol -- and avoid having to take (more) medication -- since some less-than-stellar bloodwork results for both of us in fall 2024 and again more recently... (not as bad as fall 2024, but not as good as early 2025 either).  
• Before we left home in mid-July, I was 0.4 pounds less than when the month started.  Overall, I'm down more than 15 pounds since late October 2024 -- close to my lowest weight in more than a decade -- and more than 27 pounds from my heaviest-ever weight  (in August 2021). 
• (Dh is down about 16 pounds overall since fall 2024.)
• Takeout meals included the usual pizza slices, soup and teriyaki rice bowls from the supermarket. (It's gotten a little boring lately, to be honest -- but it's not easy finding takeout meals that are (a) cheap-ish (b) not too horrible in terms of cholesterol and (c) something dh & I can agree on...!)  
• My dad gets meals delivered directly to his building from a community meals program for seniors -- and since dh & I are also seniors, we can get them too!  They're available every week day -- the menu is published a month in advance -- and dad gets them several times a week (as do many seniors in his building). It's not exactly gourmet fare, but it's tasty, balanced, and filling, always including a protein, starch, veggies or salad, dessert and a bun (often homemade) -- all for the grand price of $7.50 (Canadian) -- plus a few dollars extra delivery fee.  Not bad!  

Wearing:  With the advent of consistently warmer/(very) hot, sometimes (very) humid weather, shorts and tank tops have been added to the wardrobe roster, along with short sleeves, capris & sandals. :) 

Buying (besides books, lol):  Not much!  Mostly groceries since we got here.    

Not attending: Dh's cousin's daughter's wedding, which was July 24th at a rural barn that's been converted into an "event space." We sent our regrets and a gift with BIL & SIL (cash, which is the norm hereabouts and in dh's family's culture -- albeit not as much as would have brought if we'd been attending the wedding ourselves).

Prioritizing:  Taking care of my dad, doing things for him and making his life a little easier, while we're here.  

Trying: To be patient and stay busy, although it's hard in a small shared space that's not my own... 

Wondering/Enduring:  Which is more annoying to have blaring in the background -- "The Price is Right," "Family Feud," "Cash Cab" or "Judge Judy"?? (All staples of my dad's daily TV viewing, unfortunately...!)  

Wanting: At least one more trip to the local drive-in restaurant for ice cream before we leave. :)  

Loving:  Manitoba's big skies.  :)  

                        

Feeling: Tired. A bit stressed. Worried about my dad (albeit less so since he got out of the hospital).  Tired of heat & humidity!! (It IS cooler and less humid today, thankfully...!)  

Anticipating: Spending a little more time with the great-nephews, once we're back home, before Older Great-Nephew has to head back to school in September.   

Coming up in August: Heading home (eventually...!). Remembering our Katie on her day from afar, 28 (!!) years later. 

"The Queen of Poisons" by Robert Thorogood (Marlow Murder Club #3)

The third season/series of "The Marlow Murder Club" starts on PBS Masterpiece Mystery on Sept. 6th, based in part on "The Queen of Poisons" by Robert Thorogood, the third in his Marlow Murder Club cozy mystery series. (The other storylines have been created by other writers.)  

(My reviews of the first two books in the series, here and here.) 

MMC member/dogwalker/radio host Suzie is conveniently present at the Marlow town council planning committee meeting when the affable mayor, Geoffrey Lushington, takes one sip of his coffee and promptly dies.  Traces of aconite -- "the queen of poisons" -- are found in his cup. Who wanted the mayor dead, and why?  The Marlow Murder Club -- including 77-year-old crossword designer Judith and the vicar's wife Rebecca ("Becks") -- springs into action, now granted "civilian advisor" status to the local police department by recently promoted Detective Inspector Tanika Malik.  

The same things that annoyed me about the first two books in the series are also present here:  Judith is "incorrigible," refusing to play by the rules and charging ahead, certain that she's right. (Admittedly, she IS often right -- and, as she says to Becks in Chapter 11, "I do hope so [that I'm incorrigible], imagine being corrigible!  How boring.")  The prose style is rather basic. And once again, the climactic confrontation with the killer goes on for pages -- two full chapters! -- while Judith expounds at length and in great detail about what really happened and why. 

Even so, it's a pleasant, entertaining and mildly humorous read that did keep me guessing as to the identity of the killer. (It wasn't who I suspected.)  And as I've said in my reviews of previous books in the series, it's nice to see stories with strong (older!) female characters!  (CNBC note:  Judith does not have children.) 

I'm looking forward to the TV version.  :)  

3 stars on both Goodreads and StoryGraph. 

This was Book #18 read to date in 2026 (and Book #4 finished in July), bringing me to 45% of  my 2026 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 40 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 4 books behind pace to meet my goal.  :(  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2026 tagged as "2026 books." 

"Marble Hall Murders" by Anthony Horowitz

Thank you, Lesley Manville!  

British actress Manville has played book editor Susan Ryeland in both "Magpie Murders" and "Moonflower Murders" (among many other great roles) -- the TV adaptations of two mystery novels by the same names by Anthony Horowitz (both of which I've read and enjoyed -- reviewed here and here -- and also watched on TV). 

Apparently Manville enjoyed playing Susan so much that, on the last day of shooting "Moonflower," she expressed an interest in playing Susan one more time to Horowitz.  

And voila! "Marble Hall Murders" was published last year, and a six-part TV version -- once again starring Manville as Susan -- will be airing on PBS in September.  I picked up the book recently, in anticipation of watching the series this fall.  

Susan has ditched her Greek boyfriend, Andreas (sob -- I always liked him -- especially the very handsome and charming TV Andreas!), as well as the hotel they ran together in Crete, to resume her old life as a book editor (now freelancing) in London. Her first assignment is familiar territory -- a continuation of the highly successful Atticus Pund mystery series by the late Alan Conway -- a work in progress by a talented but troubled young writer named Eliot Crace. 

Eliot's grandmother, Miriam Crace, was a beloved and wildly successful children's author who died 15 years ago -- murdered, according to Eliot.  Susan soon realizes that the characters in the book Eliot is working on are thinly disguised versions of his own family members, and the mystery depicted reflects what may have happened to his grandmother.  But Eliot dies suddenly and mysteriously before he can finish the novel and reveal whodunnit. Not only does Susan find herself trying to solve three mysterious deaths/murders (Miriam's, Eliot's, and the fictional Miriam's in Eliot's unfinished book), she's become both a suspect and a potential target herself.   

Like its predecessors, "Marble Hall Murders" contains a book-within-the-book. We get to read the Atticus Pund novel (in draft version) at the same time Susan does. It's a lot of fun -- perhaps a little long with a little too much unnecessary detail? (some characters' speeches go on and on and on...) -- but very well done and very entertaining overall. I did guess one of the whodunnits, but there were enough surprises and twists to keep me turning the pages. And I love Susan (for many reasons, but for me, it's especially notable that she's in her 50s, unmarried and childless, and loves books.  :)  )  

It might not be necessary to have read the previous two books in the series, but both are referenced here ("Magpie Murders" in particular) and you will probably enjoy and get more out of "Marble Hall Murders" if you've read at least that first book already.  

I rated Horowitz's two previous Susan Ryeland books 4.5 to 5 stars.  This one gets 4.5 stars on StoryGraph, rounded up to 5 on Goodreads.  

This was Book #17 read to date in 2026 (and Book #3 finished in July), bringing me to 43% of  my 2026 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 40 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 5 books behind pace to meet my goal.  :(  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2026 tagged as "2026 books." 

"Treacle Walker" by Alan Garner

Fantasy and mythology are generally not my reading genres of choice (although there have been occasional exceptions).  When I first heard Simon at Footnotes and Tangents raving about "Treacle Walker" by Alan Garner, I checked it out, but concluded that it did not interest me.  

Then Simon announced that "Treacle Walker" would be one of the books we covered in a "slow readalong" in 2026.  I didn't think I was going to participate... but I'm behind pace on my Goodreads goals, it's a short book (160 pages) and our readalong would cover just three weeks.  And, having completed several readalongs with Simon over the past three years now -- including some I initially had my doubts about -- I knew his explanatory "footnotes and tangents" posts frequently add a lot to my enjoyment and understanding of a book. So I decided to give it a try.  

I'd never heard of Alan Garner, but apparently he's a well-known author, "best known for his children's fantasy novels and his retellings of traditional British folk tales. (He's 91 years old!)   

"Treacle Walker" was shortlisted for the 2022 Booker Prize. It could easily be taken for a children's novel (there were some distinctly Dr. Seuss-ian cadences to the language in it -- also a lot that was reminiscent of Lewis Carroll's "Alice in Wonderland") -- but I suspect there's a lot in it that children would not understand. (Heck, there's a lot in there that *I* didn't understand...!) It's about young Joseph Coppock, who lives in an old house in the English countryside (seemingly alone). He's being treated for "lazy eye" and wears an eyepatch. One day, he meets a mysterious "rag and bone man" named Treacle Walker, and strange things start happening.... 

Perhaps it helps to be British (and maybe even from the particular area of Britain where Garner is from?) but a lot of the language/terminology and cultural references went straight over my head. (I'd never heard of "rag and bone men," or "donkey stones," for example, but many of the Brits in the group had.)  Adding to my befuddlement, some of the words appeared to be slang, or completely made up.  Simon's explanations helped some, but a lot of the finer points and greater meaning of this book still completely escaped me. 

If you're into fantasy/mythology/folklore, you might enjoy this one. I appreciated the quality of the writing -- but I will admit, I found it all a little bizarre. Perhaps it's one of those books that becomes clearer upon a second reading... but I'm not sure I'm tempted to give it another try.  

After some internal debate, I will rate this one 2.5 stars on StoryGraph, rounded up to 3 stars on Goodreads.

This was Book #16 read to date in 2026 (and Book #2 finished in July), bringing me to 40% of  my 2026 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 40 books. I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 6 books behind pace to meet my goal.  :(  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2026 tagged as "2026 books." 

25 (!!) years of childless living

25 years ago today (!), while licking the wounds (physical, mental, emotional) inflicted by five-ish years of trying and failing to conceive a baby -- including three years of unsuccessful fertility treatments plus a stillbirth at 26 weeks -- I took my first concrete step toward acceptance of the new reality I found myself facing: I posted my story on the Childless Living message board on a now-defunct site called iVillage.  (I've been sharing my story here on this blog since fall 2007 -- coming up to 19 years now!)  

I started writing a "25 years later/things I've learned about life without children" post -- and then I realized I was repeating myself:  I already wrote many of the same things five years ago, in a post titled "20 years of childless living."  Have a read there!  

There is life (and joy) without children.  Not better, not worse than being a parent. Just different.  

Thank you all for being part of my journey so far on this road less travelled!  

What lessons/advice from your own childless living experiences would  you add?  

#MicroblogMondays: "The Blue Castle" -- on stage!

If you've been reading my blog for a while, you will know of my longstanding (almost lifelong) love for all things Lucy Maud Montgomery -- and that my favourite novel written by her is not the most famous, "Anne of Green Gables," but a toss up between "Rilla of Ingleside" (set on the World War I homefront in PEI, featuring Anne's teenaged daughter Rilla) -- and "The Blue Castle," a standalone book published in 1926 and notable for being the only Montgomery novel set entirely outside of Prince Edward Island, in the Ontario area of Muskoka (known today as "cottage country").  I first read "The Blue Castle" when I was about 12, and have re-read it many times since then (and reviewed it on my blog, here, here, here and here). .

So when I heard that that a theatrical version of "The Blue Castle" -- and a musical, to boot! -- would be performed over two weekends in July in Leaskdale, Ontario, where Montgomery lived from 1911 to 1926 (about an hour away from where I live),  at the church where her husband was once minister, I knew I HAD to see it. Happily, dh agreed to indulge me :)  and I ordered tickets for a Sunday afternoon (yesterday) matinee (preceded by an afternoon tea in the church basement).  

I first visited Leaskdale in June 1984 with my parents, en route back to Manitoba from attending my convocation at the University of Western Ontario in London, and visiting my future dh and his family in Toronto. We were actually headed to see the small town northeast of the city where my great-grandfather was born in 1871, and where my great x3 grandparents and their youngest daughter are all buried in the cemetery of an old stone church outside of town. En route, I spotted a sign indicating a turnoff ahead that would take us to Leaskdale, where there was a historic plaque marking the one-time home of  L.M. Montgomery.  I begged my dad to make the slight detour -- and happily, he complied. It didn't take us that far out of our way, and I was thrilled.  :)  The house was privately owned then, but there was a plaque by the side of the road. We asked a man cutting the grass outside if he minded if we took a photo of the house (he didn't -- he probably saw visitors like us all the time), and so my album from that trip includes a photo of me, beaming at the camera from in front of the house.  

In the years since then, the house and the nearby church where Montgomery's husband preached were purchased by the L.M.Montgomery Society of Ontario, declared a national historic site, painstakingly restored, and opened to the public. The house is now open for tours during the summer, and by appointment at other times of the year. The church hosts special community and Montgomery-related events throughout the year, and includes a small gift shop in the basement. Dh & I were last there in August 2014, not long after I lost my job, to tour the house and attend a performance of a one-woman show, "Maud of Leaskdale."  I wrote about it here. (And here are a few articles with more information about it: here, here and here.) 

It was lovely to be back in the land of Maud (as she preferred to be called), and to drive through the lush green countryside to get there.  :)  The tea and play were both sellouts, and I was able to say hello to several people I recognized from my L.M. Montgomery Readathon Facebook group, including one who was part of the cast!  I thought the play was an original production, but it was actually written and first produced in 1993 (!). 

Me and Maud :) 
in the lovely garden adjacent to the church in Leaksdale.  

As this article notes, presenting the play in the confines of a church, without wings or a backstage, presented a few challenges, but the director and cast adapted marvellously.  We both enjoyed ourselves hugely, including dh (I explained the main characters and plot points to him in advance).  There were obviously some cuts and tweaks made to adapt the story for a stage environment and compress it into two hours(ish), but the overall story and vibe remained true to the book. And the music and singing was wonderful!  The show is still on this coming weekend, if you happen to be in the Toronto area and can get tickets!  

(Back in 2022, a film adaptation of the novel was announced -- I wrote about it here.  However, I have not heard anything further about it, and I suspect the project is on hold or has been cancelled.)  

Today is our 41st (!) wedding anniversary, so it was like an early anniversary outing/present (especially for me!).  We will go out for dinner later this evening, though. 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

Bicentennial memories

I was 15 years old during in the summer of 1976. I'm Canadian, but my mother was American, and I spent a lot of time in Minnesota with my grandparents and extended family during the holidays -- especially the summertime -- every summer (until I was 17 and got a part-time summer job that cut into my traditional lazy summers,  anyway). In 1974, we'd moved to a town that was closer to the border and to where my grandparents lived -- an easy drive for a weekend's visit -- so we were able to spend a lot more time there than we had in the past. 

So I was in the U.S. a fair bit during the two years leading up to U.S. Bicentennial celebrations, as well as on/around July 4, 1976, itself.  My memories from 50 (!!) years ago are not as sharp as they once were, but I do have some from that time. 

You couldn't NOT notice what was going on!  There was a huge buildup in the years, months and weeks ahead of July 1976 -- including two-plus years' worth of Bicentennial Minutes -- brief snippets of American Revolutionary history, broadcast nightly on the CBS TV network, narrated by CBS actors.  You can watch some of them on YouTube! (of course!)  Moving closer to the border meant we could pull in some U.S. TV stations with our rotary antenna (cable came to our town a few years later) -- CBS was a little out of our range (although we could sometimes pick up a fuzzy picture on an especially clear night, or after a thunderstorm), but there was plenty of other Bicentennial-related content on the ABC and NBC affiliates we could pick up. I think it's safe to say that Canadian kids of my generation grew up knowing more about American historical events/mythology and figures from watching American TV than we did about our own country's story.   

Norman Rockwell, the artist whose work is synonymous with "Americana," was from New England, but I used to see his paintings and immediately think of my mom's small hometown in Minnesota (population about 1,400, back then).  It was that kind of place and that kind of vibe.  As part of its Bicentennial celebrations, the town organized a huge all-school reunion -- which meant that, even more than usual, my grandmother's little house was full of neighbours, old friends and relatives who had come "home" for the occasion, dropping by to visit. Grandma always had a pot of coffee percolating on the gas stove, home-baked goodies in the pantry, and a warm welcome for everyone who came through the door. The screened-in back porch, covered in Virginia creeper, was always full of people, sitting and chatting and laughing. It wasn't a big porch, but I'm always amazed when I think of how many people we were able to pack in there!  

On the 4th of July itself, we all went downtown to watch a big parade and, later that evening, drove to another nearby town to watch fireworks. In between, we hand-cranked homemade ice cream on the screened-in back porch, in an old-fashioned ice-cream making tub (packed with ice and rock salt), which we ate with fresh local strawberries. I remember my uncle and cousins setting off their own fireworks in the field behind Grandma's house, and lighting sparklers in the back yard, although I'm not sure if those memories are from Bicentennial 4th or other Fourth of Julys, growing up. 

There were lots of cousins and extended family in the area at that time -- the ones who lived there then, and others who were visiting -- and we drove to my great-aunt's house, about about an hour away, for a barbecue/mini-reunion with relatives from my grandmother's side of the family.  Those present included our hostess (Grandma's sister-in-law, divorced from Grandma's brother, but still close to everyone in the family), her son (Mom's cousin, 22 years old at the time), who lived with her, and her daughter, who lived/lives in California, was there with her husband and two kids; my parents, grandparents & sister;  my uncle, his wife and my two cousins; another great-aunt (Grandma's older sister), her daughter (another cousin of Mom's, who was also my godmother) and her two daughters. Years later, the California cousin's husband sent me some digitized photos from that day, including a group photo of all the kids, and another of me, my sister and the next two oldest girl cousins, sitting in one of the cars, windows open, listening to music on the radio (and running down the car battery, no doubt...!) and reading Tiger Beat magazine. :)  

All the kids in those photos are now in their late 50s and early/mid-60s. (I am the oldest cousin of my generation on that side of the family. Interestingly, only three of the eight of us who were there that day have kids.) Of the adults in the photos, my grandparents, my two great-aunts, my mom, her brother (my uncle), their then-22-year-old cousin and the California cousin's husband who sent me the photos, are gone. Just two of my mom's cousins who were there, as well as my uncle's wife and my dad, are still with us today.  

Maybe it's the loss and the absence of these wonderful people. Maybe it's the charged political atmosphere today (although 1976 wasn't too far removed from the turmoil of Watergate and Vietnam, etc.).  Maybe it's because I haven't been to the States in several years, and haven't been able to absorb the atmosphere for myself. Maybe there just doesn't seem to be as much hoopla, that I've noticed from the other side of the border, anyway. Maybe I'm just feeling nostalgic, fuelled by so many reminders of the past while helping my sister clear out our parents' house recently.  Maybe I'm just getting older, and looking back through rose-coloured glasses.  

But I'm not feeling the same sense of anticipation and excitement about tomorrow's milestone holiday, from where I sit across the border, or from my family & friends there...  

I miss them all.