What's saving my life right now

I've been quiet here lately. Tomorrow is 7 weeks since my mother died, and it's almost 4 weeks since we (finally) returned home from Manitoba -- and I still feel like I'm trying to get a handle on things (and not quite succeeding, with emails and notifications and to-do lists piling up).  Aside from a few book reviews, I've been finding it hard to find things to write about here, much less the motivation to actually get them down on screen.   

It's not just my mom that I'm grieving, too. I lost six people my age or younger last year -- friends, cousins, classmates. Today would have been my friend R.'s 68th birthday. Friday, my cousin would have turned 66. Both of them died unexpectedly in November, and sometimes I find it harder to believe that they're both gone than that Mom's gone. (Mom was 84, after all.)  

Beyond grief, part of my malaise, I think, is just... February.  February has long been my least favourite month of the year -- and not much has happened so far to make me change my mind -- I've had a severe case of the midwinter blahs. We've had a lot of snow this winter, and we just went through a stretch of 23 consecutive days of sub-zero temperatures (the record was 40+, back in 1976) -- that's zero degrees Celsius, by the way, i.e., below freezing. (We woke up a couple of mornings last week to windchills in the -30C to -35C range and I thought I was back in Manitoba, lol.) 

The state of the world, as reflected in the nightly news, is depressing. (And not all because of the Orange One either... Case in point:  we just had a rare school shooting yesterday, in a small town in northern British Columbia.)  

So I was grateful to see Modern Mrs. Darcy's annual post last week, in which she asks readers "what's saving your life right now?" and lists some of the things that are saving hers.  It's a great yearly reminder at a tough time of year to look for the silver linings, the "glimmers" that remind us that for every winter, there is also a spring.  (Eventually...!)  :)  

Without consulting my past posts on this topic... here are a couple of my current lifesavers right now:  

• Heated car seats!  lol  (We've been using them a lot lately when we've been out!)  
• Our second bathroom. It often comes in handy ;)  but the reason I've included it here is that we've been using it to shower, ever since we got back from Manitoba.  The spray in our master ensuite shower has been both lukewarm and rather weak, ever since it was "fixed" last fall -- and our building's recent boiler issues haven't helped matters (and we've been procrastinating on calling the plumber to come look at it). It's a bit of a pain (the tub/shower is not as easy to get in & out of as our walk-in shower cubicle, obviously), but having a consistently strong, WARM spray has been very nice. :)  (We bought a no-slip bathmat for the tub, and there have been no slips while getting in or out since then.) 
• Spending time with the great-niblings. Always a day brightener. :) 
• Watching the Winter Olympics from Milan-Cortina (the figure skating in particular)(another reason why I haven't been here much...!). 
• Watching Piper Gilles & Paul Poirier win bronze in the ice dance final with their exquisite "Vincent (Starry, Starry Night)" program. :)  
• This cropped henley sweatshirt from American Eagle. :)  I bought one on sale in light blue and it's so soft & cuddly that I bought another one in dark/navy blue. :)  I've been wearing one or the other constantly (especially during this frigid weather...!). 
• A gift card that one of my best friends from high school sent me for my recent 65th birthday. She lost both her parents a few years back, one after the other, and then her (adult) daughter in a car accident, so she knows something about grief. The card was for a (relatively) new brunch restaurant chain, with two outlets nearby, and we used the card last Friday. The ambience was lovely, the service was friendly and prompt, and the food was hot and good, with generous portions.  We will be back.  
• Starting a new D.E. Stevenson novel -- "The Four Graces" -- which I've read before, but this is one of my favourites of hers that I've read to date -- like a warm hug and a cup of tea. (A good cup of tea also being a lifesaver!)   

What's brightening your life right now? 

(Past "saving your life" posts here.)  

#MicroblogMondays: What's saving my life right now?

Every year, Modern Mrs. Darcy asks her readers "What's saving your life right now?"  (Or at least keeping your head above water?)  

It was a very timely prompt -- if you've read some of my recent posts, you'll know the winter has been getting to me...!  Without looking at previous years' posts, here are a couple of things I could think of:   

• Spending time with our great-nephew & great niece.  :)  Admittedly, it doesn't happen often these days, now that Little Great-Nephew is going to school -- but such a day-brightener when it does!   
• ...and shopping for them. I had lots of fun assembling Valentine's Day goodie bags for them recently (still have to get Little Great-Nephew's to him...), and I've started collecting things for Easter too (bunny ear headbands, anyone??  lol), as well as for Little Great-Niece's upcoming FIRST birthday! (Yikes! -- already??)  (And the fact that I can do these things with only a few grief-y twinges shows how far I've come!)  
• Getting out of the house once in a while. The pandemic really threw a monkey wrench into our usual routines outside of the house. We're still pretty cautious and try to avoid crowds (which we did even before the pandemic, lol) -- but we've realized there's no reason why we can't go out shopping or to the mall, etc., so long as we're masked -- and so we have been doing that a little more frequently lately.  I think we could even eat out once in a while too, although admittedly I'd feel more comfortable doing that on a patio in good weather, or during off-times when there will be fewer people.  We haven't really done much of that yet (aside from a few early lunches in the food court at the mall), but maybe when the nicer weather comes... 
• Snow!  (Believe it or not! lol)  We've had very little snow this winter -- or other recent winters -- which is unsettling and upsetting in some ways. Who knew we'd be missing winter, right?  :(  There have been several articles recently about how the consistently warmer temperatures in recent years have been affecting traditional Canadian winter activities -- skating on backyard rinks and the Rideau Canal, skiing, tobogganing, etc. (not to mention moisture levels in the soil, which is critical for the success of crops during growing season) -- how winters are so different today than when we were children, and what's it going to be like for our own kids and grandkids (and nieces and nephews and greats)?  There's been a real sense of grief & loss. So seeing snowflakes in the air and snow covering the ground feels both special and right and NORMAL (even when it disappears a few days later).  (Admittedly, not everyone feels this way...  and it's easier to welcome some snow when you're retired and living in a condo -- i.e., you don't have to shovel it or commute through it to work!  lol) 
• Blue skies & sunshine.  It's been mostly grey & gloomy outside, which has not been great for my mental health. The occasional days when the sun does shine (even if it means colder temperatures) make a world of difference! 
• Our humidifier, moisturizer and lots of lip balm. It's very dry in our condo, even with the humidifier running constantly (albeit not at full blast, because it just gets too noisy then, despite Dyson's claims of "quiet" technology...!).  The humidity levels have only cracked 40% a couple of times since we got back from Christmas vacation, and more often hover in the low/mid-30s.  I've always had great skin;  people have always complimented me on it -- but apparently skin often gets drier with age, and it seems I'm not immune:  these days I've got some patches of dryness and rosacea on my cheeks/around my nose. It sucks. :(   My doctor prescribed me a topical gel, and I've been using it since last fall, but it hasn't really helped much.  
• I recently bought a small jar of Clinique Redness Solutions cream to try, and I've actually seen some small improvements since I started using it last week, which makes me feel slightly better about looking in the mirror...!   
• My favourite lip balm continues to be the (very pricey -- and the price has gone up by about $8 since I bought my last tube!! WTF??)  Sugar Advanced Therapy Treatment by Fresh.  
• But I also really like this Smooch lip balm by K'Pure, which a friend introduced me to in recent years. :)   
• Comfort food.  Lots of soups for lunch (our local supermarket has some good ones at their takeout counter takeout), roast or rotisserie takeout chicken, chicken & dumplings in the crockpot... I pulled out my mother's meatloaf recipe recently, which I hadn't made in years, and made mini-meatloaves in muffin tins, topped with a Dijon mustard/brown sugar glaze (I know most people use ketchup, but I can't have that because of my tomato allergy), served with garlic mashed potatoes. There were leftovers to put in the freezer too. Yum!  
• Chocolate!  ;)  Dh & I traditionally exchange cards on Valentine's Day, but this year, there was also a small heart-shaped box of Lindor chocolates sitting on my night table when I woke up, along with the card. (He knows me well!)   
• Books (of course!).  The latest S.J. Bennett novel (in the "Her Majesty the Queen Investigates" series) isn't available in North America yet, but I was able to snag a copy, and (as usual) it's such a pick-me-up.  :)  
• Pretty new jewelry.  :)  Love me some new bling! (Even if I don't get the chance to show it off in public very often these days...!) 
• Turning the channel on the TV -- away from the news networks, and onto some music. (Mostly classic rock and 70s channels!) 
• Zoom chats with distant friends. :) 

Past posts on this subject here. 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

What's saving my life right now

 An annual question from Modern Mrs. Darcy. My past posts on this this theme here. I wrote this year's version without consulting those older posts, albeit I suspect many of the answers will be the same or similar...! 

• Sunshine and blue skies (when they happen...!):  There were only about 4 days in January where I glimpsed at least some patches of blue sky peeking through the grey clouds, and/or some sunshine -- so it's very much appreciated and mood-boosting when it does pop up!  
• Our Dyson PH03 purifier/humidifier/fan unit:  Yes, it cost a ridiculous amount of money, and it's given us some grief in the short time we've owned it (as I've shared here!)... but I'm sure glad we have it! Even though we keep it running all day, every day, it's been very cold outside lately, and extreme cold generally = dry.  The humidity in our unit has barely cracked 40%, and more often hovers in the low 30s -- WITH the humidifier running. I'd hate to think what it would be like without it!   
• Clinique Moisture Surge moisturizer: I'm a Clinique girl from waaaayyyyy back (albeit I have also used Estee Lauder skin care & cosmetics from time to time too).  Normally, I've followed up their basic 3-step regime with Even Better moisturizer because of its SPF20 protection. (They've just introduced a new version of Even Better -- but no SPF rating is given. Hmmm....) But we've barely been outside lately, and the sun hasn't been out much either, and with the current cold weather and lack of humidity, my skin has been feeling very dry and in need of an extra moisture boost. So I've been using up some of my supply of Moisture Surge miniatures from previous gift with purchase promotions, and it does feel nice! 
• Little Great-Nephew:  Even though he's not with his grandmother every day right now, we've still managed to see almost as much of him this past month as we normally would have. Always a day-brightener. :)  No doubt, he's been the best thing about these past three years, BY FAR.  
• This blog: It's been such a great outlet. :) 
• Books & book club discussions: So many books, so little time...!  lol  Lots of distractions, but I do love those times when I'm able to completely lose myself in a good book for a few hours! (Or even just squeeze in another chapter before bedtime!)  My real-life book club last met before the pandemic began, but I am grateful for my online book groups for keeping me reading and for some great and sometimes thought-provoking discussions! 
• Tea:  There's nothing like a nice cup of tea to make me feel relaxed and cozy, especially on a cold winter day. Plain old black tea is my favourite, with sugar and milk. 
• Zoom sessions with friends. :)  

What's saving your life right now? 

What's saving my life right now...

I recently saw that Modern Mrs. Darcy had posted her annual list of  "What's saving my life right now" as an antidote to the midwinter gloom (more important now than ever, as we endure our second February -- my least favourite month -- of living with covid)(third, if you count 2020, when covid was looming ominously and drawing ever-more closely, even if it hadn't made much of an impact on our lives yet).  

Then I saw that Turia had posted hers -- which reminded me that both had inspired me to post a list of my own last year, and got me thinking about what I'd put on my list for this year. 

I tried not to look at my last year's list too closely before I started writing this. Inevitably, there is some overlap, but I came up with a few new items too...!  

• Dh. I've become very conscious in recent years (through the work of Jody Day & Melanie Notkin, and through the Gateway Women community) that there's quite a large number of women who are childless because they never met the right partner in time to have a family with. Dh has his shortcomings, of course, and we've had our ups & downs over the years -- but I've been reminded several times in recent months, as we passed the 40-year mark in our relationship (!!), of just how lucky I am to have him in my life. :)  He makes me laugh, he makes me dinner almost every night, he makes me tea every afternoon without me asking for it, he's been doing most of the grocery shopping for the past two years since covid (insisting on taking on that extra risk himself), he pitches in with the laundry & cleaning... I may not have children -- but I have him. I am lucky and I know it, and I am very, VERY thankful. 
• Days that are clear & sunny (even if they're freezing cold!), versus grey & gloomy. I was born & raised on the Prairies, where it might be -35C outside -- but the sun will, more often than not, be shining! As I am sure I've confessed before on this blog, I find the damp, slushy, grey gloom of southern Ontario in mid-winter a little hard to cope with.  So I appreciate those bright, sunny days when they happen!  (I notice that MMD does too! -- see #2!) 
• Visits with Little Great-Nephew. At this time last year, our first vaccinations were still two months away, in early April. Older Nephew, his wife and Little Great-Nephew were all still living with BIL & SIL, not far away, but because of covid, our visits were few, short and mostly masked.  Once we all got those first shots, though, we shed the masks around each other and began visiting more often -- especially once LGN's mom returned to work in May after maternity leave, leaving him in the care of SIL.  In the months since then, he's gone from hiding behind his grandmother's legs when we arrived to running to the door to greet us with a huge smile on his face. We never got to spend this kind of regular, quality time with our two nephews when they were little (we lived on opposite ends of the city, and we were working during the week), and we are loving this opportunity for a bit of a do-over.  We've often said that LGN will probably never know or appreciate just how much joy he brought into all our lives at a very dark time in the world. (But we'll probably tell him so when he gets older -- if only to embarrass him, lol.)  
• Listening to music. The news these past 5-6 years has been hard to watch -- first, what happened in the U.S., politically, then covid, and some of the more recent events here in Canada. We still watch the news channels (CNN & CBC News Network), especially first thing in the morning, as well as the local CBC supper hour newscast and "The National" (CBC's nightly national newscast). But we've learned to turn them off during the day (unless there's something really important going on) and turn on a music channel instead (usually our favourite classic rock).  
• "Bob's Burgers" reruns. If there's nothing else on TV at night that we want to watch, we know we can depend on Bob & family -- they're on every night on the Adult Swim channel here at 8 p.m. for an hour (two episodes), as well as new episodes on Sunday nights on Fox, and they rarely fail to tickle my funnybone, even if it's an episode I've seen a dozen times before. I've written about my love of this show before, most notably here.  :) 
• The Winter Olympics. (The opening is tomorrow morning, but the team figure skating event starts tonight!)  It sounds like a rather joyless Olympics, to be honest, with the strict covid protocols being enforced by the Chinese government -- restricted audiences, no families present, no cheering (!) -- and the threats of both illness and politics hanging over everything. But there are always some great performances to watch and celebrate. (Go Canada!!) 
• Online shopping. Obviously, I can't do this too often, for the sake of my wallet!  lol  And there's nothing like in-person shopping, and being able to see & feel what you're buying. (I miss our weekly pre-covid walking and browsing trips to the mall. We haven't even been back to the local mega-bookstore since before Christmas.)  But I've had fun ordering a few things online recently -- some I was running out of (essential oils), some because I had a birthday discount that I didn't want to waste (skin care from Sephora), some I just wanted (pretty jewelry, pretty sweaters)  -- and opening a box that was delivered straight to my door is always a nice little pick-me-up on a dreary day. :)  
• Books. The five I read in January to start the year off were all great. In particular, I can heartily recommend Richard Osman's two books in "The Thursday Murder Club" series, if you're looking for something fast and fun. :)  
• Tea. A nice big cup of plain old Tetley's orange pekoe (although I do have other varieties) with sugar and milk, in the morning after breakfast and mid-afternoon with a cookie. (Sometimes after dinner too, but I've tried to cut back on caffeine in the evening in an attempt at better sleep.)  Always soothing and relaxing! 
• This blog.  I've been here for 14+ years now, and still haven't run out of things to say. ;)  Writing is so cathartic for me, such an outlet, and never more so than these past two years with covid, I think...!  
• The knowledge that there are just 28 days of February to endure. ;)  

What's saving your life right now? 

What's saving my life right now...

Turia recently asked her readers what's saving our lives right now, and then listed what's saving hers. (She got her inspiration from this post by Modern Mrs. Darcy.)  

Off the top of my head, in no particular order: 

(Some of these items may overlap with my "small pleasures" posts.) 

• Sunshine.  We don't get NEARLY enough of it at this time of year -- but whenever we do, it makes such a HUGE difference in my mood!  
• Downton Abbey reruns.  For whatever reason, I'm still an old-fashioned "appointment TV" kind of person. It's almost five years since we moved in here, and we still haven't hooked up our DVD player (!). And my Netflix subscription, which allows me to watch all sorts of movies and programs whenever I want, is sadly under-used (to the point that I actually had to confirm to them that yes, I still wanted to keep my subscription -- like, they emailed me because they were actually wondering whether they should be taking my money anymore??!). But every weekday at 4 p.m., dh & I settle in on the couch for another episode of "Downton Abbey" on CBC.  We're now on our second run through the series, in season 5. Dh has said that if they start re-running the series all over again for a third time, we can find something else to watch, lol.  But for now, I am enjoying basking in the trials and tribulations of the aristocratic Crawley family and their servants in early 20th century England (again)  -- those dresses!  That HOUSE!! That LIBRARY!!  
• Photos & videos of Little Great-Nephew on social media. I don't know if his parents realize just how much we enjoy seeing photos of the little guy (now 15 months old), at a time when our contact with him is necessarily limited. We stalk Facebook & Instagram daily, hoping to find something new in our feeds. Too often, there's not... but whenever there is, we watch the heck out of it while it's up. ;)  In one of the more recent videos, his mom kept the camera still while he ran back & forth, in & out of the frame, babbling away to himself. It was hilarious. Dh & I probably watched it about two dozen times each before it disappeared from our feeds. (She posts almost exclusively on Instagram and Facebook Stories, which expire after 24 hours. Why do people do that??! It's so annoying!! -- especially when it's the adorable great-nephew you can't get enough of, lol.  I try to grab a few screenshots of each offering, with varying success.) 
• The Internet. I can Skype or Zoom with my parents & friends, stay in touch with my friends and relatives on Facebook & Instagram and other online forums, read and comment on blogs (and write/vent on my own), shop online (and have things delivered right to my door), download books and discuss them in book forums with other readers...  This pandemic would be a whole lot harder to navigate without it!  
• My Kobo e-reader/Kindle phone app.  See above. Yes, I have a ton of paper books on my shelves to read -- we will never lack reading material in this house...! -- but it's SO nice to be able to download that interesting book I just heard about, or the latest pick for one of my online book groups, while bookstores are closed. No need to wait for pickup or delivery. (Plus, e-books are generally cheaper, and don't take up room on my already-overcrowded bookshelves!) 
• Takeout on Saturday nights. I'll admit, dh does most of the cooking, so it's not like I need a break. ;)  But Saturday nights were always dinner out nights, pre-pandemic, and it's nice to hold onto that bit of normalcy, to keep Saturday night a little bit special/different -- even if we're not actually eating out, just bringing food home from local restaurants to eat here. Often the portions are large enough that we can refrigerate leftovers for another lunch or dinner too. :)  
• Knowing that this month/winter (and this pandemic) WILL eventually end!  :)  

What's saving your life right now?