Timeline

Late September 1981 – Met future dh at university. 

January 22, 1982 – First official date with future dh. :)   

May 1982 – July 1985 – Long-distance relationship (in an era with no Internet or cheap long distance…!) as dh & I finished three different degrees at three different universities in two different provinces. 

June 1984 – Engaged! 

July 6, 1985 – Wedding day! :)  Honeymooned in Calgary, Banff & Jasper, and then set up housekeeping in a small one-bedroom apartment in midtown Toronto. 

Late 1988 – Birth of Older Nephew (dh’s brother’s first son). 

May 1990 – Bought a house on a quiet street in a nice suburb near good schools, public transit and one of dh’s cousins (blogname: Cousin/Neighbour) – perfect for raising children. 

Summer 1992 – Birth of Younger Nephew (Older Nephew’s younger brother). 

Mid/Late 1995 – With our 10-year anniversary milestone marked and my 35th birthday in sight, and after a chat with my family doctor, I discontinued birth control pills, and we began ttc a few months later. 

1995-97 – Continued ttc with increasing anxiety. Assured by well-meaning family doctor “it will happen.” 

March 1998 – It happened!!  Saw two blue lines;  pregnancy confirmed by blood test at family dr’s office, March 24, 1998.  (Details of my complicated pregnancy can be found in posts labeled “1998 memories”.) 

August 5, 1998 – Six-month checkup (26 weeks). NO HEARTBEAT FOUND.  :(  

August 7, 1998 – Delivered our daughter, Kathleen Maria (Katie). She weighed just 125 grams (1/4 lb). 

August 19, 1998 – Held funeral with only immediate family (my parents, dh’s dad & stepmother, brother, sister-in-law and two young nephews) present.  

September 1998 – Joined SPALS (Subsequent Pregnancy After Loss email list, now defunct).  Read & posted there obsessively over the next several years. 

September 1998 – Began attending support group meetings of Perinatal Bereavement Services Ontario (now Pregnancy & Infant Loss Ontario (PAIL)). 

October 13, 1998 – Returned to work after being on leave for almost all of August & all of September.  

October 15, 1998 – Two days after I returned to work, my beloved maternal grandfather died at age 86. :(  Left work (again) to attend the funeral & spend time with my family. Returned to work (again) a week later.  

November 14, 1998 – My original unfulfilled due date (the first of several I was given). 

Fall 1998 – Began ttc again, this time with the addition of temperature charts, ovulation predictor kits, gallons of Robitussin cough syrup (supposedly to increase cervical fluid production) and anything else I read about that might increase our chances of conceiving. 

Fall 1999 – Met with Dr. Ob-gyn to discuss why I wasn’t getting pregnant. Began fertility testing. 

(See posts labeled “The Treatment Diaries”)

Early 2000 – After spending a year attending our pregnancy loss support group as clients, we began training as support group facilitators. 

February 2000 – Referred to Dr. RE, and began cycle monitoring and infertility treatments, including several cycles of clomid/timed intercourse, then three medicated IUI cycles (clomid plus injectable drugs), taking breaks in between for vacations & to wait for echogenic cysts to disappear. 

January 12, 2001 – My 40th birthday. Spent part of the weekend at dh’s cousin’s baby shower (!).  Wound up with a case of shingles about a week later. “Possibly stress induced,” my doctor told me. Hmmm….

June 4, 2001 – Third & final agreed-upon medicated IUI failed. 

June 11, 2001 – Major anxiety attack.  Rushed to family doctor, prescribed ativan. 

June 18, 2001 – Consulted infertility counselor & advised to take a break. 

July 18, 2001 – First post to recently discovered childless living message board on iVillage (now defunct). I consider this the “anniversary” of my first step towards acceptance of my permanently childless life. 

Late July/early August, 2001 – West coast vacation with my family.  Taking a break confirmed that I couldn’t continue to put myself through this any more. 

Early 2007 – Discovered infertility blogs – including Stirrup Queens, and then Coming2Terms (among others).  :)   

October 31, 2007 – Started this blog.  :)   

December 2009 – After 10 years, decided it was time for someone else to take over and stepped down from facilitating our support group. 

April 30, 2013 – Dh lost his job of 24 years. 

July 22, 2014 – Laid off from my job of 28 years (along with four others from my department on the same day). 

December 1, 2014 – Dh officially retired at age 57. 

February 1, 2016 – Officially retired, a few weeks after my 55th birthday. Freedom 55 lives!  :)  

April 2016 – Sold our home of the past 26 years, and moved to a two-bedroom condo in a different suburb near dh’s brother & his family. 

October 2016 – Older Nephew’s wedding. 

April 2018 – Younger Nephew’s wedding. 

November 2019 – Welcomed our first great-nephew! (Older Nephew's son) 

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