1980s
October 24, 1981 – Met future dh at a party at university. :)
January 22, 1982 – First official date with future dh. :)
May 1982 – July 1985 – Long-distance relationship (in an era with no Internet or cheap long distance…!) as dh & I finished three different degrees at three different universities in two different provinces.
June 1984 – Engaged!
July 6, 1985 – Wedding day! :) Honeymooned in Calgary, Banff & Jasper, and then set up housekeeping in a small one-bedroom apartment in midtown Toronto.
Summer 1986 -- Began working in the communications department of a large Canadian corporation. Remained in the same department with the same company for the next almost-28 years.
Late 1988 – Birth of Older Nephew (dh’s brother’s first son).
1990s
May 1990 – Bought a house on a quiet street in a nice suburb near good schools, public transit and one of dh’s cousins (blogname: Cousin/Neighbour) – perfect for raising children.
Summer 1992 – Birth of Younger Nephew (Older Nephew’s younger brother).
Mid/Late 1995 – With our 10-year anniversary milestone marked and my 35th birthday in sight, and after a chat with my family doctor, I discontinued birth control pills, and we began ttc a few months later.
1995-97 – Continued ttc with increasing anxiety. Assured by well-meaning family doctor “it will happen.”
March 1998 – It happened!! Saw two blue lines; pregnancy confirmed by blood test at family dr’s office, March 24, 1998. (Details of my complicated pregnancy can be found in posts labeled “1998 memories”.)
August 5, 1998 – Six-month checkup (26 weeks). NO HEARTBEAT FOUND. :(
August 7, 1998 – Delivered our daughter, Kathleen Maria (Katie). She weighed just 125 grams (1/4 lb).
August 19, 1998 – Held funeral with only immediate family (my parents, dh’s dad & stepmother, brother, sister-in-law and two young nephews) present.
September 1998 – Joined SPALS (Subsequent Pregnancy After Loss email list, now defunct). Read & posted there obsessively over the next several years.
September 1998 – Began attending support group meetings of Perinatal Bereavement Services Ontario (now Pregnancy & Infant Loss Ontario (PAIL)).
October 13, 1998 – Returned to work after being on leave for almost all of August & all of September.
October 15, 1998 – Two days after I returned to work, my beloved maternal grandfather died at age 86. :( Left work (again) to attend the funeral & spend time with my family. Returned to work (again) a week later.
November 14, 1998 – My original unfulfilled due date (the first of several I was given).
Fall 1998 – Began ttc again, this time with the addition of temperature charts, ovulation predictor kits, gallons of Robitussin cough syrup (supposedly to increase cervical fluid production) and anything else I read about that might increase our chances of conceiving.
Fall 1999 – Met with Dr. Ob-gyn to discuss why I wasn’t getting pregnant. Began fertility testing.
(See posts labeled “The Treatment Diaries”)
October 7, 1999 -- Death of my grandmother, and any hopes I had that my grandparents would know my children, and vice-versa.
2000s
Early 2000 – After spending a year attending our pregnancy loss support group as clients, we began training as support group facilitators.
February 2000 – Referred to Dr. RE, and began cycle monitoring and infertility treatments, including several cycles of clomid/timed intercourse, then three medicated IUI cycles (clomid plus injectable drugs), taking breaks in between for vacations & to wait for echogenic cysts to disappear.
July 2000 -- Our 15th wedding anniversary and my parents' 40th wedding. (No grandchildren.)
January 12, 2001 – My 40th birthday. Spent part of the weekend at dh’s cousin’s baby shower (!). Wound up with a case of shingles about a week later. “Possibly stress induced,” my doctor told me. Hmmm….
June 4, 2001 – Third & final agreed-upon medicated IUI failed.
June 11, 2001 – Major anxiety attack. Rushed to family doctor, prescribed ativan.
June 18, 2001 – Consulted infertility counselor & advised to take a break.
July 18, 2001 – First post to recently discovered childless living message board on iVillage (now defunct). I consider this the “anniversary” of my first step towards acceptance of my permanently childless life.
Late July/early August, 2001 – West coast vacation with my family. Taking a break confirmed that I couldn’t continue to put myself through this any more.
Early 2007 – Discovered infertility blogs – including Stirrup Queens, and then Coming2Terms (among others). :)
October 31, 2007 – Started this blog. :)
December 2009 – After 10 years, decided it was time for someone else to take over and stepped down from facilitating our support group.
2010s
July 2010 -- Our 25th wedding anniversary and my parents' 50th. (No grandchildren. :( )
January 12, 2011 -- My 50th birthday.
July 18, 2011 -- 10 years of childless/free living.
April 30, 2013 – Dh lost his job of 24 years.
July 22, 2014 – Laid off from my job of 28 years (along with four others from my department on the same day).
December 1, 2014 – Dh officially retired at age 57.
February 1, 2016 – Officially retired, a few weeks after my 55th birthday. Freedom 55 lives! :)
April 2016 – Sold our home of the past 26 years, and moved to a two-bedroom condo in a different suburb near dh’s brother & his family.
October 2016 – Older Nephew’s wedding.
October 31, 2017 – 10-year blogoversary!
April 2018 – Younger Nephew’s wedding.
August 2018 -- Death of my father-in-law.
April 4, 2019 -- Final LMP (first day of last menstrual period) date.
November 2019 – Welcomed our first great-nephew! (Older Nephew's son)
2020s
March 2020 -- Global COVID-19 pandemic begins.
April 4, 2020 -- One year since final LMP = official menopause! (at age 59!!)
Fall 2020 -- Post-menopausal spotting. Ultrasound followed by hysteroscopy/d&c. Results normal.
January 12, 2021 -- My 60th (!) birthday.
July 18, 2021 -- 20 years of childless/free life!
October 31, 2022 -- 15-year blogoversary!
February 27, 2023 -- Welcomed our great-niece! (Younger Nephew's daughter)
August 7, 2023 -- 25 years of missing our Katie. :(
Last updated January 2024.
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