October 24, 1981 – Met future dh at a party at university. :) 

January 22, 1982 – First official date with future dh. :)   

May 1982 – July 1985 – Long-distance relationship (in an era with no Internet or cheap long distance…!) as dh & I finished three different degrees at three different universities in two different provinces. 

June 1984 – Engaged! 

July 6, 1985 – Wedding day! :)  Honeymooned in Calgary, Banff & Jasper, and then set up housekeeping in a small one-bedroom apartment in midtown Toronto. 

Summer 1986 -- Began working in the communications department of a large Canadian corporation. Remained in the same department with the same company for the next almost-28 years. 

Late 1988 – Birth of Older Nephew (dh’s brother’s first son). 


May 1990 – Bought a house on a quiet street in a nice suburb near good schools, public transit and one of dh’s cousins (blogname: Cousin/Neighbour) – perfect for raising children. 

Summer 1992 – Birth of Younger Nephew (Older Nephew’s younger brother). 

Mid/Late 1995 – With our 10-year anniversary milestone marked and my 35th birthday in sight, and after a chat with my family doctor, I discontinued birth control pills, and we began ttc a few months later. 

1995-97 – Continued ttc with increasing anxiety. Assured by well-meaning family doctor “it will happen.” 

March 1998 – It happened!!  Saw two blue lines;  pregnancy confirmed by blood test at family dr’s office, March 24, 1998.  (Details of my complicated pregnancy can be found in posts labeled “1998 memories”.) 

August 5, 1998 – Six-month checkup (26 weeks). NO HEARTBEAT FOUND.  :(  

August 7, 1998 – Delivered our daughter, Kathleen Maria (Katie). She weighed just 125 grams (1/4 lb). 

August 19, 1998 – Held funeral with only immediate family (my parents, dh’s dad & stepmother, brother, sister-in-law and two young nephews) present.  

September 1998 – Joined SPALS (Subsequent Pregnancy After Loss email list, now defunct).  Read & posted there obsessively over the next several years. 

September 1998 – Began attending support group meetings of Perinatal Bereavement Services Ontario (now Pregnancy & Infant Loss Ontario (PAIL)). 

October 13, 1998 – Returned to work after being on leave for almost all of August & all of September.  

October 15, 1998 – Two days after I returned to work, my beloved maternal grandfather died at age 86. :(  Left work (again) to attend the funeral & spend time with my family. Returned to work (again) a week later.  

November 14, 1998 – My original unfulfilled due date (the first of several I was given). 

Fall 1998 – Began ttc again, this time with the addition of temperature charts, ovulation predictor kits, gallons of Robitussin cough syrup (supposedly to increase cervical fluid production) and anything else I read about that might increase our chances of conceiving. 

Fall 1999 – Met with Dr. Ob-gyn to discuss why I wasn’t getting pregnant. Began fertility testing.

(See posts labeled “The Treatment Diaries”)

October 7, 1999 -- Death of my grandmother, and any hopes I had that my grandparents would know my children, and vice-versa.  


Early 2000 – After spending a year attending our pregnancy loss support group as clients, we began training as support group facilitators. 

February 2000 – Referred to Dr. RE, and began cycle monitoring and infertility treatments, including several cycles of clomid/timed intercourse, then three medicated IUI cycles (clomid plus injectable drugs), taking breaks in between for vacations & to wait for echogenic cysts to disappear. 

July 2000 -- Our 15th wedding anniversary and my parents' 40th wedding. (No grandchildren.) 

January 12, 2001 – My 40th birthday. Spent part of the weekend at dh’s cousin’s baby shower (!).  Wound up with a case of shingles about a week later. “Possibly stress induced,” my doctor told me. Hmmm….

June 4, 2001 – Third & final agreed-upon medicated IUI failed. 

June 11, 2001 – Major anxiety attack.  Rushed to family doctor, prescribed ativan. 

June 18, 2001 – Consulted infertility counselor & advised to take a break. 

July 18, 2001 – First post to recently discovered childless living message board on iVillage (now defunct). I consider this the “anniversary” of my first step towards acceptance of my permanently childless life. 

Late July/early August, 2001 – West coast vacation with my family.  Taking a break confirmed that I couldn’t continue to put myself through this any more. 

Early 2007 – Discovered infertility blogs – including Stirrup Queens, and then Coming2Terms (among others).  :)   

October 31, 2007Started this blog.  :)   

December 2009 – After 10 years, decided it was time for someone else to take over and stepped down from facilitating our support group. 


July 2010 -- Our 25th wedding anniversary and my parents' 50th. (No grandchildren. :(  )

January 12, 2011 -- My 50th birthday.  

July 18, 2011 --  10 years of childless/free living.

April 30, 2013Dh lost his job of 24 years

July 22, 2014Laid off from my job of 28 years (along with four others from my department on the same day). 

December 1, 2014 – Dh officially retired at age 57. 

February 1, 2016Officially retired, a few weeks after my 55th birthday. Freedom 55 lives!  :)  

April 2016Sold our home of the past 26 years, and moved to a two-bedroom condo in a different suburb near dh’s brother & his family. 

October 2016Older Nephew’s wedding

October 31, 2017 – 10-year blogoversary

April 2018Younger Nephew’s wedding

August 2018 -- Death of my father-in-law

April 4, 2019 -- Final LMP (first day of last menstrual period) date. 

November 2019Welcomed our first great-nephew! (Older Nephew's son) 


March 2020 -- Global COVID-19 pandemic begins. 

April 4, 2020 -- One year since final LMP = official menopause! (at age 59!!) 

Fall 2020 -- Post-menopausal spotting. Ultrasound followed by hysteroscopy/d&c. Results normal. 

January 12, 2021 -- My 60th (!) birthday

July 18, 2021 -- 20 years of childless/free life! 

October 31, 2022 -- 15-year blogoversary! 

February 27, 2023 -- Welcomed our great-niece! (Younger Nephew's daughter) 

August 7, 2023 -- 25 years of missing our Katie. :( 

Last updated January 2024.

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