Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Deja vu :p

I lost my job this week. :p  I got back from vacation on Monday & was handed my pink slip early Tuesday morning.  I do not yet know all the details of the long-rumoured reorganization, but I do know that (sadly) I was not alone. At least three other coworkers, two of them also long-term employees in their 50s, were also let go. :( 

As you can probably tell from some of my recent work-related posts, this was not entirely unexpected -- but it still sucks to have my career end this way after 28 years of loyal service & (until just recently, anyway) completely satisfactory performance. But it is also a relief that my work-related stress is at an end.  I am glad I'm not one of the ones who has to stick around and pick up the pieces. Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt. :p 

As I sat there in the conference room, I had this weird sense of deja vu. I hate to compare losing a job to losing a baby -- but they both do involve a certain measure of loss & grief.  Thinking "is this really happening to me??"... not entirely taking in everything that someone is trying to tell you... trying to sneak out of the building without seeing or being seen by anyone you know... then sitting on an almost-empty homebound train, staring out the window... and now finding myself unexpectedly off for the rest of the summer.... hmmmm. Almost the exact same time of year too. It will be 16 years on August 7th.

At any rate -- if I survived that terrible day 16 years ago, I can most certainly survive this.

30 comments:

  1. Oh Loribeth!! I'm so sorry. :( I know you were trying to make it to early retirement, allowing you to leave on your own terms. This blows.

    Thinking of you.

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  2. This is terrible; I'm so sorry. I lament what the modern world has done to the workplace. Nothing means anything anymore.
    I imagine you are eligible for unemployment? I'm not sure how it works in Canada, but in the US you would for sure. Please check it out! Perhaps then you could still coast to 'retirement' on your own terms (and with a lot less stress and headache, too).
    Sarah

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  3. Loribeth, that sucks. I turned in my notice at my last job, and the next day they asked me not to come back. It's a shock to be sent home, even when you know it is a possibility. Not being able to leave on your own terms is a lousy feeling.

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  4. @Anonymous, thanks so much. We do have what we call Employment Insurance in Canada, although there are some fairly strict rules on who can get it, when & for how long. At any rate, I have been offered a package by my company, & I do have a fairly good pension plan to draw on (albeit not as much per month if I start taking it at 55 vs 60 or 65). Our mortgage is paid off & we don't have children to worry about, so we have managed to put aside some savings. In other words, I think we should be OK. :)

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  5. Oh hon, I was stunned reading this. I am so incredibly sorry. I know retirement was around the corner but no, this wasn't the way it was supposed to go. Holding you in my heart as you regroup.

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  6. I am sorry Loribeth - I have felt that 'unreality' feeling before in my life, just trying to take in what is going on - so I can imagine a bit. I hope this will be a blessing in disguise for you and dh, but right now, not so much. Sending you a virtual hug - Andie

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  7. Architecture is a horrible field - lay offs happen all the time. But, I have been able to avoid it thus far (but I also have had a lot of jobs...I tend to move along when I sense things are slow).

    Anyhow, we all talk about it a lot since it is fact of architecture life. We all agree that if it is going to happen - just don't happen in the dead of winter. So - if it is beautiful and sunny ou tomorrow - ENJOY IT.

    It is hard - there is no way to look at it...it is hard - frustrating. Be proactive with the unemployment paperwork.

    In 2008 when two of my friends got laid off, it took a little time, but they both ended up in better places where they still are today. Stay positive.

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  8. Oh no Loribeth, what a blow. I just re-read your hazy lazy days post and it's kind of eerie... Almost a premonition or something. That said, there is nothing comforting after this blow.

    I know you will get through this - you're so right that if you can overcome loss and grief over the loss of your daughter, you will certainly overcome this too. Hugs.

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  9. dear Loribeth,
    warm hugs!!!
    Wishing you all the best for the future.

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  10. Loribeth, I'm so sorry that this happened this way. It's quite depressing to see how certain age groups are frequently removed from workplaces.

    I'm hoping that the loss, and memories of loss too, don't ruin the rest of your summer. And maybe you and DH can take the opportunity to ... ummm ... maybe make limoncello out of lemons? (Sorry, couldn't resist!) (Puglia is beautiful in September.)

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  11. Well fuck. That is some shitty news. I'm sorry, you deserved a LOT better than that.

    Abiding with you.

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  12. I'm so sorry, Loribeth. You have always seemed very dedicated to your work and workplace, and you deserved better. : (

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  13. I'm so sorry to hear this, Loribeth. (((HUGS)))

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  14. I'm so sorry, Loribeth. It is a loss, and a big one. Work is a big part of our lives. Yeesh. Hang in there.

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  15. I'm sorry to hear this even though the stress about your job has been palpable in your posts about it (as responsibly vague as they were). I know it's a significant loss and one that is also completely undeserved. Unlike losing Katie, I hope that there is a silver lining here and that somehow this opens up opportunities for you that you hadn't expected.

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  16. I could figure out by your FB postings that they so kindly waited until after your vacation! Bastards. Yeah, thanks for your loyal 28 years of hard work - get out now. What a horrible blow and at this particular time of year, too. I can't help but think you can reinvent yourself - you've always been a writer, so maybe this time you can continue to be a writer, just for something you really want to do.

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  17. I'm sorry to hear that you were a victim of reorganization. I guess...you have a lot more freedom to choose how you spend your days now? I was just talking with a coworker - the lab in our system where she worked got closed and consolidated with ours, and she finds herself entering an entirely new field in her late 40s because she doesn't want to have to move her family 2 hours from their home. This was not how she expected her career to go. Makes me wonder what's in store for me...

    Much luck on either finding something new or adjusting to an earlier retirement than you had anticipated.

    However, you shouldn't have tried to sneak out of the building - you should have strutted out of the building yelling "I'm free, suckers!" :) A little bravado is in order when your pink slip is totally undeserved!

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  18. Thanks so much, everyone! <3

    @Mali: LOL -- I posted on Facebook that I had trouble sleeping that night, and woke up at 3 a.m. Someone suggested that waking up at that hour was a sign that dh & I should be travelling in Europe somewhere (like Italy). I told her I liked her thinking. ;) (And yes -- the apparent ageism definitely sucks. :p )

    @Brooke: I got a chuckle out of "responsibly vague." That was my aim -- glad you noticed!!

    @Deathstar: I do hope to do more writing, certainly here & perhaps elsewhere.

    @Areyoukiddingme: LOL! Maybe I'll do that if I ever go back for a visit. ;) I had already shed some tears & I knew that seeing anyone I knew at that moment (especially from my own department, since by then they probably knew what was going on) might set me off again :( -- hence the hasty exit.

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  19. I am so sorry that it ended that way :(

    Thinking of you.

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  20. I'm so sorry, Loribeth ... hoping that you land softly, soon, and sending love.

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  21. I'm sorry you were treated so poorly Loribeth. I hope that you find the opportunity to use your own time, rather than be beholden to an employer, a creative new start. With all best wishes. Helen

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  22. Oh, I am so, so sorry. It just sucks so much, and I know you'd been on preparing to retire. Thinking of you.

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  23. A really BIG hug coming from me, to you!

    Hang in there girl. You are right, you're a survivor!

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  24. That's crap, and I'm so sorry. But you know what? Screw it. Get out there and do something fabulous with your newfound freedom. I know from reading you that you've got the stuff to do it.

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  25. dear Loribeth,
    I am thinking of you. How are you doing this weekend?
    XO,

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  26. I've been off the grid for a bit so I'm just now seeing this.

    I'm sorry to read of your layoff. Despite the stresses you mentioned, it's definitely not the way one would like to end things.

    I'm glad to read that you feel that you will be OK financially.

    The best to you and DH.

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  27. I'm sorry to hear your news and I am sad for you. I send you good thoughts as your life transitions to the next chapter.

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  28. So sorry to read this. There is just no loyalty anymore.

    I hope that some good comes out of this for you, somehow. Wishing you comfort and peace, as it is a loss indeed, albeit of a different type.

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  29. I am so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you.

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  30. The loss of a son, father, husband then my job, the latter can not be compared

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