Accumulated odds & ends

I haven't been that diligent about compiling notable stuff I've read lately, but for what it's worth, here are a few links!  (Some are a little dated, but no less readable!) 

• Have any of you seen the movie "Hamnet" yet, or read the book it's based on, by Maggie O'Farrell? I have done neither -- yet -- although I would like to partake of both. (For one thing, I think Paul Mescal is an amazing young actor.)  
• An online group of loss mothers that I belong to were debating whether to see it or not -- drawn to the themes of grief and loss of a child, and yet wondering whether it would hit a little too close to home? 
• I really appreciated the perspective offered in this post from Jennie Agg, who writes a Substack about pregnancy loss and grief called Life, Almost, about "Hamnet" the movie, and whether it's "grief porn" (as some are apparently describing it). 
• **NOTE: there are spoilers about the movie, including specific scenes and how they unfold. Also, Agg has a living child.**
• Excerpt: 

...for me, the film’s presentation of loss and grief is nuanced, considered, grounded in something true.

...What do we mean when we dismiss something as ‘grief porn’? I guess it’s implying something gratuitous, debasing, bordering on shameful.

Which is interesting when you consider the way many bereaved parents today often describe being made to feel, shamed into silence: it’s too much, we don’t need to hear it.

• Anne Helen Petersen (childfree by choice) -- whose Culture Study community has moved over from Substack to Patreon -- has been giving a lot of coverage to infertility and childless/free topics recently. A couple of highlights (I'm not sure whether some of these may be paywalled?):  
• A series of occasional posts titled "Big No-Kids Energy," about the joys of not having kids. 
• Here's the kickoff post where Anne explains what the series is about. 
• Anne has interviewed several childfree & childless people/couples for the series about their no-kids life. The most recent subject was Cathy, who is 60-something and childless not by choice, but making the most of things. She was a delight to read about. :)  
• A Culture Study podcast episode featuring a standup comedienne, about being a "childless freak" (!) that will have you nodding! The comment section is worth a read too.  :) 
• An earlier podcast episode (from back in early February) about "The Heartbreaking (and Largely Unregulated) Business of IVF."  A lot of what's discussed would not be surprising to many of us, but it might be an eye-opener for people not intimately acquainted with the fertility industry.  
• I made a comment that's received the most "likes." In part, I said: 
  

One point I will take exception to:  the comment that "IVF works! -- it's very effective."  IVF is still (almost 50 years after the first IVF baby was born) very much a crapshoot.  Your odds of success might be better if you're in your 20s or early 30s -- and/or if you have the money and stamina to endure multiple cycles -- but once you hit 40,  they drop like a stone. There are many of us out here who went through infertility treatments and did not wind up with a child. You just don't hear about us. Clinics certainly don't want to acknowledge our existence, and patients currently in treatment don't want to hear about us either. 

I would also add that most clinics are abysmal at providing emotional support & counselling to their patients going through treatment -- and even less is available for those of of us who aren't successful. Even a referral to an outside counsellor, or a pamphlet listing resources we might consult would be helpful.  Any support I got was entirely the result of my own research.  

• Carrie Hauskins, who is childless after pregnancy loss and infertility, writes at Blooming With Care about the matter of "Heirlooms for No One" -- dealing with things from a childless aunt, as well as wondering about her own stuff after she's gone (something I think about a lot, especially as my childfree sister & I go through the painful process of emptying out our parents' house...). Excerpt: 

I told her we weren’t having kids, and when she said I could pass down her things to my children, I didn’t correct her. She knew the truth. And she still gave me her things. If she didn’t want to believe that her lineage of items will end with me, that’s her problem to work through, not mine. She was aware that I’m a dead end in our family's genealogy. 

 

...Legacy used to mean what I would pass down to my children. Today, it means deciding what to do with the ring once I melt it down. It might not mean the same thing five years from now. But for today, I think of my kooky aunt and her curmudgeonly way of life. I might not inherit her moods, but I do love the quirky jewelry. I do plan on having an eccentric estate sale. One that people line up for early in the morning and wraps around the block. Would my aunt love that? Who knows? It’s my legacy.  

• Katie Dunn at Afterglow (childless after infertility) ponders a question that doesn't get enough attention --"IVF doesn't work for everyone. So when do you stop?" -- and explains her own process for making that difficult decision. 
• Katie Hawkins-Gaar at My Sweet Dumb Brain writes movingly about grief, nine years after her first husband's death:  "The Grief Math Changed This Year." 
• "Anyone Can Be an Auntie. It’s a State of Mind," proclaims a New York Times Magazine article by Maya L. Kapoor. 

#MicroblogMondays: Odds & ends

• 
  Lana Manikowski at "Infertile and Childless. So Now What?" nails it in "The Grief That Comes Without a Funeral." (Italics & boldface from the original text.) 

Here’s what few people understand: infertility grief isn’t just about a failed IVF cycle or a miscarriage. It’s about the futures we already built in our imagination. The baby names we whispered. The vacations we dreamed of as a family. The family photos we pictured on holiday cards. Every negative test isn’t just a single “no.” It’s another lifetime quietly slipping away, one no one else even knew existed. That’s why it feels so heavy, because you’re mourning futures no one else will ever acknowledge. There are no condolences. No casseroles. Just silence.

• "On the Outside," Y.L. Wolfe tells it like is: "Childless Women Do Not Need Your Unsolicited Advice."  Subheading:  "Yes, we've considered all the options, and no, we don't want to talk about it with strangers."  PREACH!! 

Small excerpt: 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. The truth is, childless women make people uncomfortable. We’re living proof that life doesn’t always go the way you want it to. Our very presence inspires people’s worst fears and thus, I suspect, they feel unconsciously desperate to comfort themselves by acting like this is a problem that could easily be fixed.

• Y.L. Wolfe's writing is always great, but (as an amateur genealogist) I especially loved this article she wrote for Medium (which may or may not be paywalled?):  "The Unexpected Branching of a Childless Woman’s Family Tree." (Subhead: "Expanding the meaning of legacy for women who didn’t get the chance to have children.")  Excerpt: 

I don’t believe for a moment that our line ends here. That our existence won’t still reach as far into the future as it does into the past.

Branches will grow out from us, whether we have children or not.

and 

It’s important to remember that legacy isn’t just about biology...  you’re passing on parts of yourself to everyone you come across, whether you are related to them or not... there are countless ways to pass down your family values, your ideals, your wisdom, mostly in a manner that cannot be quantified or measured.

In fact, you’ll likely never know the impact you have made on the people in your life and the ripple effect that will have long after you are gone, on people you’ll never meet.

Legacy is a much bigger concept than we’ve been led to believe.

• Ali Hall at "Life Without Children" ponders "Why We Need To Change the Language Used for People Without Children" (subhead: "And all the ways 'childfree' and 'childless' are used against us"). (Not sure I like her proposed alternative... the quest continues...!)  
• This wasn't the first post I read musing about language choices for those of us living without children, and I'm certain it won't be the last...!  In fact -- the third post I ever wrote for this blog -- back in November 2007! -- explored a similar question:  "Am I childLESS or childFREE?" 

• Well worth a listen:  Jody Day chats with Zoe Noble of  'We Are Childfree" (which is both a Substack and a podcast, available on many podcast platforms, such as Spotify). 

• Not ALI-related, but another thoughtful & interesting piece from Charlie Angus at "The Resistance," about the most famous political assassination in Canadian history (not that there have been a lot of them -- and thank goodness for that!). I thought some of you might find it interesting! 
• As I mentioned in this post from 2017 (about a trip to Ottawa), as a high school senior taking part in the Rotary Club's Adventure in Citizenship program, I was being driven to Parliament Hill on the first morning, and the man driving me pointed to a street corner in passing and said, "Over there is the spot where where they shot D'Arcy McGee."  I had only a hazy idea of who D'Arcy McGee was at that point, but his remark stuck with me, and I looked him up when I got home, (We passed by the plaque marking the spot on that 2017 trip -- the same one pictured in the Substack post -- and I took a photo of it. We also had dinner at D'Arcy McGee's pub, also mentioned and pictured in the post.)  
• I vividly remember the other assassination mentioned, which took place 100+ years later, in October 1970 -- the "October Crisis," in which separatist terrorists kidnapped Quebec cabinet minister Pierre Laporte and British diplomat James Cross in Montreal, and murdered Laporte. (Cross was released.) I was 9 years old at the time, and one of my school friends told us Laporte had been beheaded (!). Her father was an RCMP officer, so we figured she would know. (He wasn't; the poor man was strangled.)  

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

#MicroblogMondays: Odds & ends

• 
  Apparently Friday, Aug. 22nd, was Rainbow Baby Day (trigger warning: baby photos) -- and while I didn't spend a lot of time on social media that day, my feeds had more mentions about it from various loss/infertility/childless accounts than I've ever seen in the past. (I'm going to have to add this one to my calendar so that I remember in the future and it doesn't take me by surprise again!) 
• All power to those of you who have had your "rainbow baby(s)" -- but huge thanks and bouquets to those few lovely souls (many/most of them from the childless-not-by-choice community, but also a few who were not) who dared to remind people that not everyone is lucky enough to get their rainbow. 
• Of course, some of us might still get a rainbow -- albeit maybe not in the form of another baby. 
• Previous Rainbow Baby Day post from 2020 here.  
• I love Lisa Sibbett's Substack, The Auntie Bulletin, and I loved her recent post about "The Seven Blessings of the Aunties:  Here’s what Aunties bring to families." I feel like we're all potential "aunties" and role models to the younger generation, even if we don't actually have nieces, nephews, godchildren, etc. in our lives (at this particular point in time, anyway). 
• I especially liked #4 on Lisa's list ("Aunties teach kids about life's options"), although the text mostly reflects the childfree by choice. I would add that simply by our presence, those of us who wanted children but didn't get them can show by example that a good life can be possible even if it's not the life you originally wanted or assumed you would have or that all of your friends have. Learning to deal with grief, loss and life's disappointments and roll with the punches is hard, but it's a something we'll all find ourselves doing, one way or another, and we can help model those skills for the younger generation. 
• Sari Botton's Memoirland Substack recently featured a post from Natalie Frenkel, "Friendship and Fertility," about struggling to conceive, and the effect it had on her relationships with friends who could (what Jody Day has called "the friendship apocalypse of childlessness"). There's a lot here that's familiar!  
• Trigger warning:  The essay is illustrated with a photo of two women, one of them with her hand on a pregnant belly (!).
• This one popped up on my phone as a random Google notification -- about pronatalism and families, "legacy," living your own life on your own terms. It starts with a great personal story about living well being the best revenge (lol), and then segues into a more general essay about having a good life without children.  
• The article is mostly from a childfree perspective, but I was happy to see this acknowledgement:  "But for those who wanted kids and couldn’t have them — whether because of money, health, or life throwing curveballs — the emotional load can hit harder."
• Trigger warning:  The thumbnail image has a border around it of cartoonish babies, bottles,soothers, etc.  There is also a photo of a mother with small children.
• A few choice passages: 

But here’s the thing — choosing a child-free life isn’t some shiny new TikTok trend. Aside from the baby boom in the ’50s, history has always had its fair share of people saying, “No thanks” to diapers and playdates.

The big difference now? We’re actually talking about it. From smashing tired stereotypes to questioning what “family” even means, the conversation is louder — and bolder — than ever.

and

...different has a way of making people uncomfortable. Friends and family might need time to adjust — especially if they pictured your life a certain way. But here’s the thing: the person who has to live that life is you.

...At the end of the day, whether you raise kids or not, your life can still be full of love, meaning, and joy — on your own terms.

Sometimes, the most powerful legacy isn’t the one you’re handed — it’s the one you create for yourself.

• Not ALI-related, but this Substack post from Judith Hubbell at "Too Old for This Sh*t" deserves to be widely read and shared. It's one of the best defenses and explanations of feminism that I've read in eons. Bravo!! 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

Odds & ends for the weekend

• I had kind of forgotten that Liza Minnelli is "one of us."  Then I got watching a documentary about her this week, from "American Masters" on PBS -- "Liza:  A Truly Terrific Absolutely True Story" -- and they included a whole segment about how much she had wanted to have children, her multiple miscarriages, and how much she doted on her friends' children (and, later, grandchildren).There was a lot about her life that I'd forgotten (or never knew). She's a legend for a reason. Worth a watch, if you can find it! 
• Princess Beatrice of England recently wrote for Vogue UK about the premature birth of her daughter Athena in January. 
• In The Atlantic, Ashley Parker ponders "Miscarriage and Motherhood: What having a baby taught me about the illusion of control."  (Gift link.) 
• Like I needed one more book to add to my "to-read" list....!  Nevertheless, I was intrigued by this (mostly glowing) New York Times review of "Firstborn," a pregnancy loss memoir by Lauren Christensen. (NYT gift link.)  
• Lisa Kissane grapples with the eternal question of labels: "Am I Childless, Childfree or a Proxy-Parent? And why does it even matter?" 
• In her Substack "Mad Woman," Amanda Montei ponders the "is motherhood good or bad" debate -- and a recent iteration, featuring the singer Chappell Roan. 
• The whole piece is worth a read -- but I especially appreciate that it includes a reference to women without children -- and the acknowledgement that ours is a perspective that often goes unheard:

The latest Chappell Roan pile-on highlights one aspect of this conversation that is frequently unheard: discussions about maternal representation tend to dismiss, moralize, erase, even pathologize the experiences of women without kids, and even more the experiences of queer women without kids.

...women without children are also frequently blamed for other women’s attitudes toward and experiences of motherhood, and for everything from a failing economy, progressive politics, toxic internet culture, and sociopathy (which, to be clear, occurs at a rate of 3:1 men to women). Such claims are echoed, too, in neoliberal writings, usually by white women with certain economic privileges, who claim motherhood is inherently transformative and transcendent, and that images of liberated women without kids are somehow damaging the motherhood scene.

Care, to be clear, is transformative. And in our lonely, isolated cultural moment, we need more of it. But one need not be a mother to care for other people, or even for children.

• Also on the subject of the Chappell Roan kerfuffle:  Lane Anderson from "Matriarchy Report" asks her readers, "Can we talk about how to create solidarity among women, beyond the hot takes?" 
• What I love about this post is that Anderson actually realizes the motherhood debate is not a binary (i.e., it's the best thing/worst thing). (AND she invites readers without kids to share their perspective in the comments! -- which I did!):  

...But there’s also a third story at play here that’s worth considering:

Another story of American Motherhood/Non Motherhood is the single/child-free woman who is a Childless Cat Lady, is selfish, self-centered, doesn’t get it, and is wasting her life and potential. This is embodied in this case by Chappell Roan herself.

This might be an unpopular opinion, but I actually do think it’s worth listening to what young women who don’t have children have to say about their perceptions of American Motherhood and the discourse thereof. 

• The matter of "what should I do with/will happen to my stuff when I'm gone?" weights heavily on many childless people. For me, as a genealogist, the question of what to do with all the stuff I've accumulated over years related to my family history is a particular concern. Even if none of my cousins or their kids find this stuff interesting (right now, anyway...!), it's quite possible one of THEIR kids or grandkids might. And why reinvent the wheel, right?  So much of what I've been able to build today began with a few documents carefully preserved by my grandparents & their siblings, and the stories they told me.  
• So I was pleased to read in a recent update email from the Ontario Genealogical Society (I'm a longtime member) that they are planning a new "legacy service" which would allow members to donate or bequeath their genealogical research to be digitized (for a fee) in order to preserve it and to share it with others. 
• I was thinking that if no one in my family was interested, I would donate my collection to the museum in the Minnesota county where my mother grew up (if they're interested -- and assuming the border is still open by then... (!) ). They already do a lot of family history stuff, and already have some items related to my family. 
• But it's nice to have another option to consider too.  
• Lisa Sibbett at "The Auntie Bulletin" asks a common question in the childless/free community:  "Who Will Care for You in Your Old Age, If Not Your Kids?" Jody Day's "alterkin" project is highlighted!  
• Jill Filipovic highlights a new study from the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine that shows the number of women dying after being denied life-saving and health-preserving abortions, post-Roe v Wade being overturned, is likely far higher than thought. Excerpt: 

Before the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and allowed Republican legislators to ban abortion in most of the states they control, the public narrative around abortion bans was simple: Make abortion illegal, and you get dangerous illegal abortions. And that remains true. But what much of the public didn’t seem to understand is that if you make abortion illegal, you get more dangerous pregnancies. 

• From the Washington Post: "Is listening to a book cheating?" (Let the arguments begin!  lol)  
• My personal viewpoint:  I wouldn't call it "cheating" -- but I find it hard to think of it as actually reading. Nothing against people who enjoy audiobooks (anything that gets people reading/enjoying books is a good thing!). Personally, I feel like I need to actually read a book to really absorb it.  
• (It's the same with podcasts: I enjoy podcasts, but I find I really have to focus my attention on what's being said -- no or minimal multi-tasking -- or else my mind will wander and then half an hour's gone by and I have no idea what I just heard!) 
• On a related note -- my L.M. Montgomery Readathon Facebook group reads & discusses LMM's books, chapter by chapter -- and each chapter is read on video by a volunteer group member. (I've done several chapter readings myself.)  I do enjoy listening to these -- and reading along with them at the same time. 
• Also in The Atlantic:  Daniel Engber writes about "The Evermaskers" -- people who remain covid-cautious, five years after the pandemic began. (Gift link.) 
• (I would describe myself as covid cautious -- I am certainly far more cognizant of the risks and (still) take more precautions than almost everyone I know, although I am not QUITE as vigilant as some of the people in the article, and have been venturing into more places recently without a mask -- so long as there aren't too many other people around.)  

New year odds & ends

• Well, I did it... I started the "chapter-a-day readalong" of "War & Peace" on Jan. 1st -- AND the Cromwell Trilogy readalong as well, which goes by the nickname "Wolf Crawl" (lol) and follows a weekly schedule.  It's still early days (still time to join in yourself...!), but so far, so good. 
• W&P has a HUGE cast of characters, some with the same names (!) -- but there is a wiki-style list to refresh your memory as to who's who, a great reader chat to follow, and the chapters are generally short in length -- and much more readable (and funnier!) than you might think. And it's all available for free! (Paid subscribers get bonus posts.) 
• "Wolf Hall" is much more dense, both in terms of subject matter and prose style -- but still absorbing, in a different way. In one of the early chapters, Thomas Cromwell's wife tells him why the king (Henry VIII)'s plan to divorce his wife (Catherine of Aragon) -- who, now in her 40s, has only produced a princess and not the male heir Henry craves -- matters:  

If he tries this … then half the people in the world will be against it… All women everywhere in England. All women who have a daughter but no sons. All women who have lost a child. All women who have lost any hope of having a child. All women who are forty.

(Author Hilary Mantel, of course, was childless due to severe endometriosis.)  

• My 63rd (!) birthday was last Friday. We marked the occasion with a trip to the nearby art gallery where I have a membership -- which is also what I did on my birthday last year!  I thought about having lunch at the cafe there, which has lovely ravine views, but it was already pretty busy -- plus the menu is limited and it's rather pricey. So I opted for takeout lunch from the nearby supermarket, with a pasta takeout dinner later from one of our favourite restaurants. After dinner, we had cupcakes from the supermarket for dessert (red velvet with cream cheese frosting). :)
• In between, I treated myself to a couple of new books at the mega-bookstore (aided by a gift card from my sister, plus my regular cardholder discount, plus a birthday discount!).   
• Younger Nephew & his wife both texted birthday greetings; Older Nephew, his wife and  Little Great-Nephew called, and LGN treated me to a boisterous rendition of "Happy Birthday to You" via speakerphone,  lol.  
• I spent most of Saturday on my laptop, watching the livestream of the Canadian National Figure Skating Championships from Calgary.  CBC, which had the broadcasting rights, chose to show hockey all day Saturday instead -- the new Professional Women's Hockey League games in the afternoon, and NHL in the evening (the NHL has ALWAYS ruled Saturday nights on CBC TV, since it began broadcasting in the early 1950s...!).  
• I don't begrudge the PWHL some airtime -- goodness knows it's been a LONG time coming...!  -- but I have been watching figure skating for more than 50 years (!), and the nationals (or at least, highlights from it) have NEVER NOT been shown on one network or another...! :(    And it would have been nice to be able to watch on something larger than my 15" laptop...!  
• The (not large to begin with) arena was only about half full.  :(  I can speculate on a number of reasons why: continuing fallout from the pandemic, the brutally cold weather out west, pricey tickets (at a time when people's finances are tight), the lack of star power among the current crop of skaters (compared to years past), the current ban on Russian competitors in international competitions -- well deserved, but admittedly makes things less exciting to watch -- plus we're right between Olympics right now, when interest is always at its lowest -- etc. etc.  But! -- you're never going to grow interest in the sport by making it more difficult for people to watch...!  :(  
• Monday/Last night, we had dinner at Younger Nephew's, along with BIL & SIL.  Between pre-Christmas busy-ness, being away over Christmas, and BIL & SIL coming down with covid, we hadn't seen Little Great-Niece (now 10 months old) in two months, and she was great entertainment.  :)  She was wearing an adorable outfit I'd given her for Christmas -- is now sporting a few tiny teeth, scoots across the floor on all fours, and pulls herself up on the furniture. She was fascinated by my watch, bracelets and cellphone camera (I let her take a few selfies), and exchanged raspberries with a delighted dh. (But of all her visitors, she clearly loved her Nonna/Grandma the best!)  Needless to say, we had a good time.  :)     
• Since they live nearby, and visitor parking at their townhouse complex is scarce, we decided to walk. It didn't take us very long -- only about 5 minutes, maybe a little more -- but it was about -12C/ -19C with the windchill (11F and -2F, respectively) -- and we were walking straight into the wind!  Dh -- normally a brisk walker anyway -- was walking even faster to make the trip shorter -- and holy cow, am I ever out of shape...! :p  Regular walking is definitely going back on the schedule, once better weather returns...!  
• I subscribe to a lot of Substack newsletters (which, to me, are just blogs in another format!). Ohio journalist Connie Schultz (incidentally, married to U.S. Senator Sherrod Brown) has become one of my favourites there. Her most recent post, "How a Tweet Became a Children's Book," will show you why. (Warning:  have kleenex handy.)  
• From the Oldster Substack, edited by Sari Botton, a gorgeous personal essay: "The Golden Seed."  Tagline:  "At 52, while teaching music in a preschool, Starina Catchatoorian is confronted by her grief over missing out on motherhood." 
• This piece, from "Hey Reprotech" by Alison Motluk, is an eye-opener, about the costs (monetary and non) of infertility treatment in Ontario, especially when you live outside an urban area: "What I learned from looking at one Ontario woman's $100,000+ expenditure on fertility treatment." 
• I know many of us struggle with the idea of legacy and what kind of a mark we're going to leave on the world, if we don't have children. There was an article about legacy in the Washington Post recently (gift link). Children are mentioned, but NOT having children is also mentioned! and some of the examples given are things we can do whether we have children or not.  
• Many of us also struggle with who's going to help us out as we age without children (and, often, without partners and/or extended family members nearby). Jody Day of Gateway Women flagged this article about a consultant based in St. Paul, Minnesota, who is working for systemic change in this area. 

#MicroblogMondays: Worth the wait :)

Three years ago today!

I had a chuckle this morning. I had a look at my Facebook memories, and saw this screenshot from my email, posted exactly three years ago today, along with the glum caption, "Well, there goes Hamilton." ☹

And I chuckled, because we FINALLY -- 3+ years later! -- made it to "The Room Where it Happens" yesterday! 

The Princess of Wales Theatre in downtown Toronto, specifically (where I've previously seen productions of "Beauty and the Beast," "Chess" and "The Book of Mormon") -- where "Hamilton" is (finally!) back, playing to packed audiences. 

Yesterday was: 

• 1,254 days -- almost three & a half years! -- since I first bought tickets to see "Hamilton" (on October 26, 2019). 
• 1,136 days since the last time I rode the subway to downtown Toronto (for a mammogram)(albeit we drove through the area recently, taking BIL & SIL to an appointment).  
• 1,094 days since all remaining performances of the run that had barely begun in late February 2020 were cancelled (on April 3 2020 -- see the image, left).  
• 1,058 days (almost 3 years) since we were originally supposed to see "Hamilton" (on May 9, 2020). 
• Almost 950 days since Mirvish Productions announced that "Hamilton" would return (late August 2021). 
• About 9 months since "Hamilton"'s return was confirmed (in June 2022). 
• 167 days (more than five months) since I got new tickets (October 17, 2022). 

The pandemic might have thrown a wet blanket over my excitement about getting tickets and the prospect of going-- it wasn't the thrill it was, the second time around -- but, happily, it didn't diminish our enjoyment of the performance.  :)  The show itself was definitely worth the wait.  The "And Peggy" touring company cast (one of three out there right now) put on a fabulous show. It was a Sunday afternoon matinee, and the title character was played by an understudy. He was good -- but to be honest, I found the character of Aaron Burr far more interesting -- and the actor/singer who played him frankly blew poor Hamilton out of the water. (George Washington was pretty fabulous too... and King George III provided comic relief, lol.)  

I knew Hamilton's son died in a duel -- and yes, I cried then -- but I wasn't prepared for "Dear Theodosia" -- or all the talk about "legacy" (I knew the line "who lives, who dies, who tells your story" -- but I didn't know it was Washington who sang it). As we left the theatre and came outside into the bright sunshine, I had to take off my mask to blow my nose (having wiped my eyes inside, lol).  

(I have a few friends here who have already seen it and didn't think it lived up to the hype. They complained that it was hard to follow the lyrics, and the story. I'll admit I'm not a huge fan of rap/hiphop, but in this case, I thought it worked well. I'll also admit I might be more well versed in American history than some Canadians -- albeit I think many of us are probably better acquainted with American history than our own country's, (no) thanks to the overwhelming influence of U.S. culture here.)  

I was slightly nervous about the subway ride downtown, given a recent increase in violent incidents on the transit system (not to mention the risks posed by the ongoing pandemic...), but both trips (going there and coming home) were uneventful. We wore our masks for almost 6 hours straight, taking them off only for the short walk from the subway station to the theatre (and vice-versa), and to pop a mint in my mouth during intermission.  

I've missed going to the theatre. It's something we both enjoy doing (dh thoroughly enjoyed this one too) -- and I thought we'd be doing more of it in retirement than we have -- albeit we did see a few shows, pre-covid. Here's to many more to come!  

Local press reviews:  

• Toronto Star: "‘Hamilton’ is back in Toronto and it really is that good" 
• The Globe & Mail:  "Hamilton’s return to Toronto proves well worth the wait"

"Hamilton," at last!!  

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

Odds & ends

• Blog housekeeping:  I've updated my Book List of recommended/relevant reads (at the top of the home page, just under the nameplate/header). I hadn't done that since I created it, more than a year ago. (oops!) 
• I started drafting this post last week, before my recent (*cough*/eyeroll) "incident." Thanks to those of you who commented on my last post, or reached out in concern elsewhere. <3 
• Still feeling tired today, and the left side of my face is still a bit swollen/puffy, especially under my left eye, although it's better than it was yesterday.  It's also yellowing under my left eye. Guess I'm going to have a shiner there...?! 
• My family doctor's office called this morning. I won't be able to see him until NEXT Tuesday. Sigh. 
• I removed the dressing/bandages and washed my hair this morning, for the first time since Friday (rinsing out the dried-up blood, but being very careful around the wound area/scab). Ahhhh...!! 
• My weekend was already eventful to begin with, because of what happened to me on Friday (see above). Then Saturday afternoon, a huge, destructive storm rolled across a wide swath of the province. 
• They're calling it a "derecho," similar to the one that walloped Iowa in August 2020, and "one of the most destructive and widespread ‘derecho’ squall lines in Ontario’s modern history" They're investigating whether there were also tornados. 
• Today, three days later, the death count stands at 10. More than 150,000 homes are still without power, and some schools are closed. In Ottawa, more than 187 hydro poles were down, which "not only exceeds the number the city traditionally puts down in a year but also tops the number felled during the 1998 ice storm and 2018 tornado." (Source) 
• I have several weather apps on my phone, and there had been warnings on Friday and earlier that morning of a dangerous storm moving into the area. Then just before 1 p.m., we got alerts on our cellphones through the emergency warning system, similar to the ones we get for Amber Alerts -- very loud, you can't miss them! 
• It was getting increasingly dark outside -- and then the wind picked up. It was coming from the west, and we face north, so we were partially sheltered, but we had an amazing view from our windows (although I was prepared to dive in the closet if it looked like things were turning even more nasty...!). This being a long weekend (generally regarded as the kickoff to summer), a lot of people had just set out their patio furniture, and we saw what was probably a big patio umbrella go flying by from one end of our view to the other at top speed. Wind gusts in some areas measured 120-130 kilometres per hour. (That's 75-80 miles per hour.)
• Our power flickered briefly but did not go out -- thank goodness! Others not too far away from us were not so lucky. I have friends in the Ottawa area who went more than 24 hours without power -- and last I heard (last night), some of them still didn't have their power back. 
• I recently told my mother that I won't be able to come home for the family reunion in Minnesota in late July, because I'll be having my eye surgery a few days earlier on July 25th (plus I'm still waiting for my gallbladder removal surgery to be scheduled). I was bracing myself for an argument ("can't you reschedule?") -- but surprisingly, she didn't say a word.  ;)  
• Speaking of aging parents: the Globe & Mail had an article this weekend ("The great junk transfer is coming") about dealing with our parents' "stuff" (including a companion article with tips!). As the child of two aging parents in an overstuffed house, I can relate...!  
• Of course, articles like this always make me think about my own things -- and make me VERY glad that we've had at least one preliminary round of downsizing and getting rid of stuff before we moved into our condo six years ago!
• As a childless person, of course, I won't have any kids to deal with whatever mess I leave behind me. (And once you're gone, of course -- kids or no kids -- it's all completely out of your hands.) 
• It's bad enough leaving your kids to deal with it all, I suppose -- but in our case, it will probably be our nephews (who will also be dealing with their parents' & in-laws' estates).  And so I feel kind of obligated to try to leave things in at least some sort of order...  
• I was drafting a post (for the future) that mentions a long-ago visit to friends in Saskatchewan, where we lived for six years in the 1960s, when I was kid. That got me reminiscing, and then Googling a few people, including my best friend from those days. Up popped an obituary for her mother, who just passed away in March at age 91. What a blast from the past! -- as well as a few surprises. I had no idea this woman & her husband had lost a child -- an infant son, likely early on in their marriage (named in the "predeceased by..." section). (They had four other children.)  I wonder whether my friend always knew this, or found out about it later in life? 
• I also Googled a couple of my old teachers. I found a 2018 obituary for my Grade 1 teacher's husband, which made me sad. I didn't know him, but I remember devoting a Friday afternoon art class to making flowers out of kleenex to decorate their wedding car (does anyone still decorate wedding cars??)(let alone with kleenex flowers??  lol). I also found a 2020 obituary for my Grade 2 teacher's husband, which mentioned he was predeceased by his wife. :(  He was 77, so she couldn't have been any older than that. :(  
• I noticed a while back that an older woman (in her mid-70s, a lovely artist) that I "know" from one of my (non-ALI) online groups, who had "friended" me on social media, had been silent/absent online for quite some time. She'd been dealing with/recovering from some health issues but was doing well -- and then, she came down with covid. :(  This was fall 2020, pre-vaccines. Since then, all her accounts have been silent, aside from occasional enquiries from friends asking how she was doing. Last week, we learned that she's been dealing with long covid and has significant cognitive impairment. She is well cared for, but she is not the same person she once was. Damn covid!! :(  
• The Walrus (a Canadian magazine) recently profiled Sarah Polley and her new book, "Run Toward the Danger," (which I LOVED, and reviewed here).  I was particularly struck by this passage, midway through the article: 

THERE’S A THING THAT HAPPENS, Polley has found, with people who haven’t experienced much trauma. They have this idea that anyone who has been through the wringer is damaged, that they can’t move forward, that brokenness becomes part of them. “I think I’m finally articulating to myself that, unless you’ve experienced and had to process trauma, I don’t know if you’re whole,” she says. “I don’t think people should look for trauma! But, if it happens, I don’t think it’s a harbinger of permanent damage. I think that, if a person has processed it in any meaningful way, it might make them more fully human, more capable, and on their way to becoming more whole.”

• I caught up on a couple of recent episodes of New Legacy Radio, with some fascinating in-depth discussions I'm still thinking about:  
• Donna Ward, Australian author of "She I Dare Not Name" (reviewed here), talked about how single/childless women are included and supported (or not) in public policy and in  crisis situations (such as covid and other health emergencies). (Who gets priority? Is it "women AND children first," or "women WITH children"?? -- think about it!) 
• Rhodes Perry, author of "Belonging at Work" and "Imagine Belonging," talked about what it means to "belong," and how to build more inclusive workplaces. 
• Sarah Roberts of The Empty Cradle delivered an impressive, groundbreaking Zoom presentation for the Diversity Council of Australia before a registered audience of 600 (!) people from across the Australian corporate sector, state and federal governments, and non-governmental organizations (NGO) sector.  (And following Sarah's presentation, she and fellow Australians Judy Graham of WomenHood Counselling, Michael Hughes of The Full Stop Podcast and Clan of Brothers, and Liz Campbell of Redefining My Plan A, answered questions in a panel discussion.) The material Sarah presented will be familiar to many of us -- but of course, we were not her intended audience. I can only imagine the impact she made on 600 people who, for the most part, have likely never given us and our concerns much (if any) thought, let alone considered us worthy of inclusion as a diversity group on par with others long established. (Have a look at some of the comments/reviews on the DCA event page!) May there be many more presentations like this one!! (around the world and not just in Australia!) Please watch, and (if you're feeling brave), share!   

Odds & ends

• Bloglovin update: Day 4 and still nothing on my laptop screen. The phone app is not loading new links either. Grrrr....  
• It's clear and sunny outside here today, and the forecasted high is 17C!! (63F)  But -- back "home" in Manitoba, they are bracing for a snowstorm that, Environment Canada warns, "has the potential to be the worst blizzard in decades" -- 30-50 cm (about 12-20 inches) and possibly up to 80 cm (32 inches!!) of snow!!  
• Snow in Canada in April (and especially in Manitoba) is not uncommon. Dh's late dad loved telling him about the snowstorm they had here in Toronto the night he was born (65 years ago in April -- see next point).  We never had an Easter egg hunt outside when I was growing up... even if there wasn't snow on the ground, it was still usually pretty wet & chilly. But 80 cm??!! 
• My elderly parents had a medical appointment in the city today (about an hour's drive away). They've rescheduled for May. My sister & her partner were supposed to go there on Friday for the Easter long weekend. They'll see how the roads are (and whether there's power!) by then. 
• Monday (yesterday) was dh's birthday -- his 65th!!  He's getting his first Old Age Security cheque (well, direct deposit, lol) from the federal government next month (eeek).  
• BIL -- dh's only sibling -- called around lunchtime. I assumed it was to wish dh a happy birthday. Nope!  His grandson -- our Little Great-Nephew -- got his first big-boy haircut on Sunday afternoon, and BIL wanted to ask if we'd seen the pictures (we had!) and rave about how cute he is (and of course he is!).  As the conversation wound down, dh threw out a prompt:  "Anything else?"  Nope!  Dh hung up and said, "Not a WORD about my birthday!" We both laughed -- it WAS kind of funny (and so typically BIL). (He finally did call later in the afternoon -- full of apologies, as I expected, lol -- after one of the kids texted birthday greetings on our family text group.) But at the same time, so very typical of what we childless people have to deal with too, wasn't it? 
• Saturday morning, I watched the live premiere of Jody Day's latest TEDxTalk, "Social Plankton: Why Single Non-Mothers are the Fuel of the Future." Jody ends the talk with five calls to action -- specific things parents and partnered people can do to be more inclusive of single childless people (and childless people generally), and the benefits they themselves will experience as a result (the "what's in it for me" factor!). Well worth watching! 
• Also worth sticking around to watch:  Jody's actual talk (the standard 14-minute TEDTalk) is followed by a 45-minute Q&A session, with some very thoughtful questions posed by an obviously well-prepared host. 
• Also worth watching:  Jody's first TEDxTalk, "The Lost Tribe of Childless Women," delivered before a live audience in Hull, England, in 2017.  
• I have to admit I found Yael Wolfe's recent piece in Medium about childlessness and legacy somewhat unsettling/depressing (the stuff about being the keeper of the family tree and photographs hit particularly close to home...!) -- but it's still a worthwhile read (and there are some lovely comments too). Legacy is something that many childless women struggle with (World Childless Week devoted a day to the topic last year -- and here are my own tagged blog posts on the subject). I do recognize that once we're gone, what happens next is completely out of our control, and that there's more of human history that gets forgotten than remembered. We might make an impact that lasts (at least for a little while), we might not -- and that goes for parents, as well as the childless. What really matters is the here and now, and what we do and how we treat each other in the relatively brief time we're on this planet.  
• I get Maria Shriver's Sunday Paper every week via email, and one of this week's features was an interview with Anna Quindlen. Back in the late 1980s/early 1990s, when I was newly married and hoping to start a family (someday...), I discovered Quindlen's regular column in the New York Times. (You might say that Quindlen was a mommy blogger, years before blogs existed.) She left journalism in 1995 to turn (mostly) to fiction. I've never read any of her novels (and, needless to say, while I'm sure the writing is wonderful as usual, I have no interest in reading "Nanaville: Adventures in Grandparenting"), but I still have several early collections of her columns on my bookshelves. It's the kind of personal writing I love and admire (Joyce Maynard is another such writer whose work has had a huge influence on me). And now, in her newest book, Write for Your Life, Quindlen is encouraging all of us to take up our pens and document our personal histories.  

Writing also allows us to honor ourselves, says Quindlen. “That is such a challenge in our modern life with its pace, with its technology, with its emphasis on celebrity and glamor: To sit quietly with yourself and say, I'm important. I have something to say.”

I'm looking forward to reading it! 

World Childless Week, Day Three: Leaving a Legacy

Day Three of World Childless Week is about "Leaving a Legacy." 

Legacy feels connected to blood; the bloodline that we can’t or won’t continue. Do you feel sad or guilty that: your family name, traditions and collectibles ends with you? Why does the pain of not being able to pass something on hurt so much? 

Perhaps you’ve found a way to lessen the pain or create a legacy in a new way; through teaching, sponsorship, art and creativity, innovation, gardening, charitable work or donations etc? 

"Legacy" (including the practical matter of "what's going to happen to my stuff?") has been something I've struggled with over the years. Longtime readers will know that my family (my mother's side in particular) generally has a keen interest in its history, and I'm one of the main cousins researching our family tree(s). I've already decided that if no one from the younger generation shows sufficient interest in the subject, I will donate my genealogy files and old family photos to the local museum in the county where my grandparents lived. They already have several important items from my family in their collection (one of my second cousins is on the museum board), and they are a valuable resource for research into local families. 

I've written posts in the past about passing on my grandmother's class ring and pearl necklace to my cousins' daughters (one a disappointing experience and the other more satisfying), and my vintage stereo and vinyl LP collection to Older Nephew (here and here).  

And this is one of my favourite posts that I've ever written, I think, about my childless spinster great x3 aunt, and the legacy she left us. It's a great reminder that we will never know exactly what sort of a legacy we might leave or the impact we might have on future generations, even when they're not our direct descendants. 

If you're interested in delving into some of my other back posts on the subject, I recently added a new tag, "legacy" to some of the relevant posts I was able to find. I will tag more as I encounter them. 

Other tags that might point to relevant posts of interest include "aunthood," "genealogy" and "getting older." 

Check out today's content on the WCW site, including community members' contributions and a couple of live and pre-recorded webinars/discussions on this subject. The first, at 7 p.m. UK time/2 p.m. Eastern Time in North America, is hosted by Kirsty Woodard and Patricia Faulks, about setting up an AWOC (aging without children) advocacy group. The second is at 8 p.m. UK time/3 p.m. Eastern Time in North America, hosted by Jody Day of Gateway Women -- one of her regular "Fireside Wisdom for Childless Elderwomen" chats with an amazing group of older childless women. These webinars will be recorded and uploaded to the Day Three page for anyone who cannot make the live event. 

#MicroblogMondays: Who will want my stuff? (Chapter 10,243)

Last year, I wrote a post about how my kind-hearted parents -- now in their early 80s -- had formed a friendship with an even more elderly relative (her mother was a first cousin to my dad's mother) -- a widow who had no children, who was not close to her stepchildren, and whose closest relatives -- two nieces -- lived some distance away (one in the U.S.) and hadn't seen their aunt in more than 20 years. (Even if they had wanted to come, COVID-19 restrictions would have made a trip almost impossible, until just recently.)  Before she died, earlier this spring at the age of 95, she persuaded my dad to act as a trustee for her affairs and executor of her will. 

In some ways, she was very organized. Her funeral was already planned and paid for, and she had even shown a neighbour the outfit she wanted to be buried in, right down to the jewelry (a necklace helpfully looped around the hanger of the blouse). 

Even so, my parents have been very busy these last few weeks, making trips back & forth into the city, trying to get her house and possessions in order. (My sister and her boyfriend have also been there, helping.)  The house was in the woman's late husband's name, and it will go to the stepkids, but the contents need to be sorted through and cleaned out before the house can be handed over (and presumably sold) -- and apparently she was something of a hoarder...!  

My mother took a cross-stitched picture off the wall, commemorating the couple's 25th wedding anniversary, and turned it over. To her surprise, there was an inscription on the back, indicating it had been made by my dad's aunt (my great-aunt/my grandmother's younger sister), who's been dead for nearly 20 years. She called my great-aunt's daughter (my dad's cousin, who is in her late 60s) to see if she knew anything about it. 

It turns out that Dad's cousin probably knew the old lady better than anyone else in our family (at least, those who are still alive...!) -- and yet, she had no idea the woman had passed away. (!)  She said the couple had been regular visitors to her parents' home, and she herself had served as the master of ceremonies at their 25th wedding anniversary party.  

Mom asked if she or her kids (a son and a daughter, both in their late 30s or early 40s, I think?) would like the cross-stitched wall hanging it as a keepsake. The cousin explained that she's in the process of trying to downsize and get rid of her own stuff, not add to it.  She didn't think her kids would be particularly interested, and added that neither of them has children to pass things like this along to. She has one younger brother, married but childless, and didn't think he'd want it either. 

I drew a couple of lessons from the things my mom has been telling me. (These are lessons that can apply to anyone, but especially those of us aging without children.)   

First, along with a will detailing what you want done with your personal things (as well as your money and property), and any instructions about what you'd like in the way of a funeral, there should probably be a list of people who should be notified in the event of your death (along with their contact information). Who would you like to have attend your funeral? Who do you think would want to attend, or at least know that you're gone?  Make sure the people closest to you know where you keep your will and other important documents (maybe give a copy to your chosen executor).  

Second, start paring down your stuff NOW, while you're still able to decide what you want to do with it. You won't miss most of it as much you think you might. (I had to get rid of a ton of stuff before we moved into our condo, and I have to say, I do not miss the vast majority of it, and I am rather relieved that we did at least some of that NOW, versus 20 years from now...! -- I could and should probably still pare it down further, but I thought I did pretty well for now, lol...!)  Don't burden someone else with the task after you're gone! It's one thing to have your children going through your things, but when you don't have children.... do you really want your nieces/nephews/distant cousins/total strangers riffling through all your personal stuff and deciding what to do with it? (Okay, maybe you do, or maybe you don't care... but it's worth some thought!) 

Third, lots of people these days are trying to get rid of lots of stuff. We all have too much of it. Not everyone will be interested in taking yours, even if it is a "family heirloom." (Try not to be upset or offended.)

Fourth, more and more people today don't have children. Even if you have children, they might not have children themselves. Increasingly, there are fewer and fewer family members to pass along your stuff to. (Years ago,  six siblings might have divided up Mom & Dad's stuff among themselves;  these days, there may be just one or two.) Don't count on anyone wanting it or valuing it in the same way that you do. 

Fifth, stuff is just that -- stuff. It's the people and memories connected to it that really matter. (At least that's what I keep trying to tell myself, lol...) 

Sixth, a suggestion. Take a photo of the item(s) -- and then let it go. (I've done that with some of my own stuff in recent years, and it did help me feel a bit better about getting rid of things.) 

There's probably more I could think of, but that's it for now...! (Do you have any thoughts to add?) 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.  

#MicroblogMonday: Legacy

Six (!) years ago, I wrote about my decision to hand over my treasured vintage (early 1980s) Zenith stereo (turntable/cassette player and radio/tuner, all in one) and vinyl album collection (about 180 classic rock LPs) to Older Nephew (who was paying ridiculous sums of money for used copies of some of the same albums that were gathering dust in my basement...!). The stereo and some of the albums were kept in his bedroom, pre-wedding, and in the basement suite at BIL's since he got married. 

This past weekend, he, his wife and Little Great-Nephew (and the dog, lol) finally moved into the house they bought this spring. (They took possession in June, but have been painting and doing a few renovations since then.) BIL was on vacation last week, and he & dh made several trips up to the house to bring some things over in advance of moving day, make some last-minute fixes, etc.  

Dh took some photos on one of these expeditions so that I could see what they'd done with the place. Among other things, Older Nephew's MIL's carpenter boyfriend built them a beautiful shelving unit all along one wall of their family room. Guess what holds the centre spot of honour?  That's right, my stereo & vinyl collection (the ones I gave Older Nephew as well as ones he's bought on his own). He's bought new, more modern (smaller! lol) speakers, but otherwise, it's all just as I gave it to him. 

Sometimes, those of us without children wonder about what kind of a legacy we can leave, and to whom -- whether and how we and the things that mattered to us will live on somehow, after we're gone... whether they will matter to someone else.  I took one look at that photo and my heart just swelled. I thought, "There's my legacy (or at least part of it), right there!"  

Not only that -- dh told me he checked out what was on the turntable -- and practically burst HIS buttons when he saw it was Bruce Springsteen's "The River," lol.  :)  (Our work here is done, lol.)   

(I was going to include the photo, but when I asked dh to send it to me, he told me he'd already deleted it. (!!)  Sigh...)  

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

#MicroblogMondays: Tales from a trunk

I LOVE these kinds of stories!

In 1986, Richard Payton came into possession of an old chest, found in a home in North Hollywood, where the owner had passed away. Inside, he found a vintage wedding dress and shoes from 1934, photos, letters, and an old Bible. 

Payton's cousin, K.C. Thompson, tried on the dress. It fit perfectly. Payton gave it to her and she wore it several years later on her own wedding day.  Curious, she began researching the dress's original owner. She identified that first bride as Ellen Prince, born in Alpena County, Michigan, in 1912.  

“When I wore it, I got the sense that this woman didn’t want to be forgotten,” Thompson told the Alpena News in March. “She wanted to go home. I feel like I am the custodian of her life. I’m so curious to know more about her, and I hope the people in Alpena will help me return Ellen home. That is where I believe she belongs, at home with family. All of these family heirlooms belong with her family.”

The heirlooms were priceless to her great-nephew, George Light, who was thrilled to receive them -- minus the wedding dress, which he agreed Thompson should keep. (She hopes to eventually donate it to a museum in the Alpena area.)  He remembers Prince as a committed teacher, active in her church, who loved to host her family at Christmastime. 

“Ellen may not have been a blood relative of mine, but she is special to me, so getting these things to George was important,” Thompson told the newspaper recently. 

Ellen Prince had no descendants -- she never had children. But her life, her story and her memory are being remembered, honoured and preserved -- by her extended family, and by a curious stranger with an unusual connection to her. 

Never doubt the impact your life can have on others, even when you are childless! 

Read the whole story -- the original article and the followup! (The photos of the wedding dress are gorgeous!) 

Thanks to Kathleen Guthrie Woods  of 52 Nudges and Life Without Baby for sharing this story on social media!  (K.C. Thompson is Kathleen's relative!) Kathleen has a book coming out later this month called "The Mother of All Dilemmas."  I have already pre-ordered a copy for my phone's Kindle app and can't wait to read it! 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here. 

Odds & ends

• My SIL (dh's brother's wife) is now retired!  (Sort of!)  She lost her longtime job three years ago. Since then, she's had a couple of different jobs, most recently as a receptionist at a nearby warehouse. She's been working in the front office, mostly by herself at the front desk, with very few drop-in visitors these days, and so (thankfully) she has been relatively safe from COVID-19 there.  Her last day of work was Friday. 
• I say she is "sort of" retired. She is taking this week off. Next Monday, her daughter-in-law/Older Nephew's Wife/Little Great-Nephew's mom is returning to work after her 18-month maternity leave.  And SIL is going to be taking care of her grandson (Little Great-Nephew). Of course, Older Nephew & his wife also just bought a house,  about an hour north of us here. They take possession in early June, and will move in there (and out of BIL & SIL's house) after doing some painting. One of them will bring Little Great-Nephew to his grandparents' house before heading on to work (both workplaces are closer to BIL & SIL's house than to their new home). (SIL said she would take care of her grandson, but she wasn't going to drive an hour one way each day to do it... I think that's fair!) Crossing my fingers for all of them that all these changes go smoothly!  
• Dh & I plan to drop by regularly this summer to visit (and provide some backup/relief, lol), once our stay-at-home order is lifted, the weather improves (so we can spend time outside) and SIL & Little Great-Nephew have settled into their new routines. Something to look forward to!  :) 
• COVID-19 vaccinations here are opening up to younger and younger age groups. Both nephews & their wives (all between the ages of 28 and 31) are now booked for their first shots -- they'll all have them before the end of the month. Yay!!  :)  
• We've noticed an influx of voices in the hallways lately, indicating guests coming and going and lingering at someone's door -- doubly annoying during a pandemic with a stay-at-home order in place (for the third time in a little over a year).  There's a couple down the hall who have a new baby (we can hear him/her faintly crying sometimes). Dh thinks that friends & relatives come over to see the baby -- they may or may not go into the unit but they stand out in the hallway and talk and admire the little one, and that's why we're hearing their voices so loudly & clearly. I guess that would explain what we've been hearing, but seriously?!  
• Credit to RESOLVE for hosting a great "Kitchen Table Conversation" on "The Many Perspectives of Living Without Children," moderated by actor and filmmaker Tracey B. Wilson and featuring Jobi Tyson from Tutum Global; Justine Froelker of Ever Upward; and Katy DeJong from The Pleasure Anarchist, talking about their childless lives.  Worth a look! 
• Several people have shared this fabulous New York Times article about a woman doctor who is doing some much-needed research on the endometriosis. I don't have endometriosis (that I know of?? -- I have sometimes wondered...), but I know some of you who do. This article is both infuriating (how common it is and how often women's pain has been dismissed), and inspiring. The stories in the comments are worth a read as well.
• I've written before about my interest in genealogy, and I loved this piece I found, "In praise of maiden aunts."  "...these maiden aunts, bachelor uncles, and childless couples often have fascinating stories, and sometimes had profound impact on our ancestors," writes author Andrew Searle Pang, who describes several examples from his own family tree in this article.  
• I wrote about one very important maiden aunt in my own family tree here.