Monday, December 31, 2012

New Year's Eve

I don't know where the time goes... the last few days & hours of 2012 have absolutely zoomed by. So many plans, so many good intentions... so many blogs to read & posts rumbling around in my head, so little time...!  My Google Reader is hopelessly stuck above 1000 posts, it seems (not all ALI-related, happily). I manage to read a blog post here & there but meaningful chunks have eluded me for the past month. :p 

The Christmas season flew by too. I missed out on a few of the things I usually like to do at Christmastime... only caught snatches of "It's a Wonderful Life" and "A Christmas Carol," and didn't see "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation," "A Christmas Story" or "The Bishop's Wife" at ALL. :(  But there were compensations. ;)

Dh's Christmas party was on a Thursday night (the most common party night on Bay Street in Toronto), at a restaurant far from downtown, let alone where we live in the suburbs.  Last year's party was at the same place and he didn't get home until midnight (and then had to get up at 5 a.m. as usual for work the next day :p) -- so this year, we spluged for a night at a swanky old downtown hotel... we brought a bag to work with us, checked in at lunchtime (& headed back to work), then he went to his party while I went to the Eaton Centre to shop, eat and admire the holiday decorations, there and all through the underground concourse.  Stopped off at a Starbucks en route back to our room & enjoyed a caramel brule latte while watching our favourite Thursday night shows & waiting for dh's return. While I find I never sleep as well as when I'm in my own bed, we did get to sleep an hour longer than we normally do, & still make it to work at the usual time. Perhaps this will be the start of a new tradition. : )

We spent Christmas with my family as usual... with the added bonus of a near-daily visit from PNGD/The Princess, now 15 months old, walking, saying a few words, redecorating the Christmas trees and generally keeping us hopping. Extreme cuteness all round. Many photos were taken. ; )

For the most part, I was able to enjoy her and her presence on its own merits. But I did have one very emotional moment. Every time she and her mom (PND) left my parents' house, she would take off and lead her mom in a merry game of tag/hide and seek around the car -- peeking around the corner -- before PND scoops her up & into her car seat.  (PND assured us she only allows her to do it at my mom & dad's -- they have a fairly long, wide driveway, on a quiet court with very little traffic.) It was hilarious. (I captured one such chase on video, filming through the living room window.) The first time she did it, I was laughing so hard I thought I was going to wet myself, & I felt tears of hilarity rolling down my cheeks.

And then suddenly, I realized I was crying for real. Laughter to tears, in the blink of an eye. I think my mom noticed, & dh patted me on the shoulder while I wiped my eyes. Just so precious. So much that we've missed out on. :(

It was also tough watching my mother trek off to various neighbours' houses to see their visiting grandchildren. I went with her a couple of times. I'll admit it, I get a kick out of seeing the miniature versions of the people I've known since they were kids themselves, too. ; ) But it was painful to see my mother's eagerness to share in some of the joy of other people's grandchildren, knowing she doesn't have any of her own, & why. :( 

Today, dh & I stopped at the cemetery en route to shopping & dinner out. A beautiful, bright red cardinal was hovering in the snow-covered tree beside the columbarium where Katie's niche is. Breathtaking. : )

I had hoped to have my usual New Year's meme done & posted tonight, but I haven't even looked at it yet. I suspect my answers would be pretty much the same as they were a year & two years ago. Oh well. I may still get it done. Being half Ukrainian, I figure I have until Ukrainian New Year, right? ; )

I hope you've all had a good holiday. I leave you with a photo of the Christmas decorations at the Toronto Eaton Centre (including several gigantic illuminated reindeer roving through the mall):


  1. Happy new year Loribeth. Many thanks for your fabulous blog.

  2. Happy New Year. I'm glad you're still blogging.

  3. Happy New Year, Loribeth.

    I know what you mean about those moments that sneak up on you. Sending hugs.

    And do you know, you're the third blogger I know now in Toronto or vicinity. I think Canada is calling to me!

  4. Happy New Year, Loribeth. I've been reading your blog for 4 years now (I think this is only my second comment), and I'm still constantly blown away by your kindness, honesty, and beautiful writing. Katie is very lucky to have someone like you to preserve her memory.

  5. Happy New Year. Your blog is wonderful!

  6. Happy New Year to you, Loribeth- hang in there with blogging! :)

  7. Happy New Year, Loribeth!

    How did I not know you were Ukranian? I guess I just focused on the Minnesota/Scandinavian connection. : )

    That little girl sounds like a sweetheart. There are some parent-child moments that can suddenly shut out people in the very same room. I remember how that feels.

    And I think the grandchild aspect would be very hard. My parents' best friends and neighbors are childless after IF, and I often wonder how they feel about the growing brood of grandchildren -- SIL #1 being PG with her second, so this will make for 6 grandkids in a 5-year span -- and my parents' extreme enjoyment of it all. My mom's closest sister, with whom things have always seemed a little competitive, isn't likely to have grandkids anytime soon; my cousin had a hysterectomy at age 36 last year. My aunt seems to roll with it in that brisk Marilla kind of way, but...

  8. This post perfectly describes how sad and isolated witnessing others' joy in parenting can make one feel. This was such a well written post.

    On another note, your new holiday tradition sounds PERFECT!

  9. Coming here from Mel's Friday round up and I have to say I can relate so much to this post. I'm ok with or have made peace with living child free after infertility. I do however have those moments that make me wistful or tearful when I observe what I won't have. Beautiful post.

  10. Beautiful post, Loribeth. I didn't know you were half Ukranian, either!! Somehow I must have missed that?! When is Ukranian New Year?

  11. Happy New Year, LB. Seeing that pic of the Eaton Centre makes me a little homesick.

    As always, your posts are so evocative. You made my heart ache to think of you watching the Princess run around the car and accompanying your mum visit other people's grandkids.

  12. @Jjiraffe: Ukrainian New Year's Eve is January 13th... Ukrainian Christmas Eve is January 6th; Christmas is January 7th.