In a nutshell, I managed just fine. I think I was more worried about the food than anything else -- but the grandmother-to-be told me when I got there that I was to order whatever I wanted, even if it wasn't on the limited menu everyone else was ordering from. They did have a four-cheese baked fettucine on the menu that I thought would be OK, so I ordered that with a Caesar salad & garlic bread.
I think it was actually the salad dressing (from a bottle, I'm sure) that had me feeling a little funny/warm after I finished -- but I decided it was probably just anxiety kicking in. I sat there with my chin in my hand (in case it was red, so people hopefully would not notice) & vowed not to check myself in the mirror for at least a half hour (unless I was feeling REALLY bad). In the meantime, our tea/coffee arrived, & by the time I actually went to the washroom, about an hour after eating, I was feeling much better & when I looked in the mirror, there were no red blotches anywhere. Yay!! : )
When stepMIL & I arrived (dh drove us, picked up stepMIL along the way), dh's cousin's wife -- the one who was due in April but had a miscarriage before Christmas -- was sitting near the door with her daughter. She gave me a big hug, & said into my ear, "Thank you so much for that very nice note you sent." I gave her an extra hug & said, "How are you doing?" & she said, "I'm OK," & that was that -- but it felt good to be acknowledged like that -- a nice little bond between just the two of us. : )
We sat with them, at the other end of the room from where the guest of honour & all the gifts & cake were, etc. Hard to hear at times, above the noise -- but probably better that way from our perspective! lol ; ) There were 50-75 women there, & between all of us & all of the gifts, etc., we took up about 2/3 of the restaurant. Luckily it wasn't too busy! The usual silly games, etc. They sent around an "Advice" notebook & you were supposed to write down your advice in it for the new mom. I just passed it along without writing anything. :p
Got back home just before 6, had a little dinner & watched the Who (or what's left of it, lol) on the Super Bowl halftime show. I'm exhausted. :p Back to work tomorrow. But -- there's a long weekend to look forward to!! : )
I'm glad you got through the shower without hives or hassles. : ) It's nice that you had a moment of connection, too.
ReplyDeleteThree weeks until March!
I'm glad it went well. I was at a baby shower yesterday, and I was thinking of you. It's just so darn awkward.
ReplyDeleteYou did good, you did good.
ReplyDeleteYou amaze me. Every time. I'm sad you didn't feel as though you could write something for a new parent in the way of advice. I understand why you didn't, (I think) but at the same time I can think of so many things you could have written that would have so much value to a new mom. So many things that you have written here about Katie and how you have honored her and her life. How she impacted you, how her life continues to steer you.
ReplyDeleteYou have every right to offer advice. Advice that is so much more important than, just let the baby cry sometimes, or balmex is better than desitan...
But that's just my two cents...
xxoo
I'm so proud of you, I don't know if I could've made it through. Not yet anyway. I'd give you a hug if I could.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, those photos of Roger on my site were from the Nov. concert, you have to admit that his abs look great for his age :) !!!
T
so glad you made it through...and out in time to watch The Who!
ReplyDeleteYou amaze me too. I feel like I could never attend another baby shower in my life.
ReplyDeleteGlad you made it through without too much fuss.
Loribeth,
ReplyDeleteI'm a recent new reader, and I wanted to thank you for your wonderful, honest writing. I am so sorry for your loss and its reverberations through your life. While I don't know this particular pain of child loss, my own experience resonates with many of your thoughts about what might have been in terms of family.
all the best
Betsy