Actually, Monday was a pretty good day. My birthday last week helped carry the festive mood over for a little while longer. The Christmas bills have been paid off. And the weather hasn't really been that bad (knocking wood...!) -- grey & a tad chilly, but really not unbearably cold this week, & very little snow for the past while (knocking wood again).
As I've written before, generally, my seasonal blahs kick in around November, go into (semi) hibernation through Christmas & my birthday, & then resurface with a vengeance sometimes in February, when it seems like the winter is never going to end.
I must admit, though, that yesterday was perhaps a little bit tinged with blue:
- I was fretting over some loose ends from work, hangovers from while my boss was on vacation. No doubt this anxiety was exacerbated because...
- ...I got my period -- & it's been on the heavy side, leaving me feeling tired & drained. One of my online childless-not-by-choice friends, whose 50th birthday is coming up, remarked yesterday that the greatest gift would be "no more periods!" I responded, "I hear ya... I may eat my words later, but I'm actually looking forward to getting that transition over & done with. I'm not brave enough to have an ablation done -- but if AF went away for good tomorrow, I'd say goodbye & good riddance. If I'm not going to have children, what's the point? I never used to think this way, but the longer this drags on, the more I can't wait to be done with it."
- I came home from work to find a large envelope from dh's cousin in the mail. I knew right away that it was a baby shower invitation for her daughter, who announced her pregnancy (actually, it was her mom who spilled the beans) at a family gathering last summer. And of course, that's what it was. She is due in late March & the shower is in a couple of weeks. I've already checked out the online registry & am planning to get the shopping over with this weekend, if possible.
- (Sadly, we learned before Christmas that the hostess at that family gathering -- who inadvertently had her third pregnancy "outed" by her toddler son that same day! -- lost the baby. I enclosed a note in my Christmas card -- on notepaper in a separate sealed envelope -- saying how sorry we were & that we were always available to talk, if they felt like it. I didn't expect a response, & there hasn't been one. Nevertheless, I could be wrong, but I'm thinking that this shower may be difficult for her to attend, too.)
Today was a little better:
- My boss is back, so we finally have someone looking out for us & our work again.
- The work issues I was fretting over have (mostly) been resolved.
- I had to go for a mammogram this afternoon (at the same hospital where I had Katie). (That's not the "better" part.) I could have gone back to the office again for awhile -- but I didn't. I could have gone shopping, but with AF tagging along, I didn't really feel like it. So instead, I sat in a cafe for a half hour, reading the new issue of Entertainment Weekly, sipping a cafe au lait & snacking on a divine bread pudding with vanilla sauce, until it was time to meet dh for an early (much less crowded) train home. Ahhhhh!!