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Monday, September 12, 2022

#MicroblogMondays: Missing Grandma

Since the Queen died last Thursday afternoon, the TV in our house has been tuned to almost wall-to-wall coverage, flipping around between CBC, CNN and BBC World.  (Dh just rolls his eyes, lol. I did relinquish the remote long enough to let him watch his Pittsburgh Steelers game yesterday afternoon, lol.)  Saturday, I watched footage of Princes Edward and Andrew, Princess Anne, and some of their spouses and children, walking from a nearby church service back to the castle at Balmoral, and stopping to admire the cards and bouquets left by the public at the gates of the estate. 

Several of the Queen's granddaughters were wiping away tears -- something that would have seemed unthinkable for a member of the Royal Family to do, 70 years ago. Princess Eugenie, in particular, seemed very emotional, and her father, Prince Andrew, put his arm around her and gave her a little side-hug to comfort her, patting her on the back.  

I was instantly reminded of when my own beloved grandmother died in 1999, at age 85 (when I was 38), almost a year to the day after my grandfather died at age 86 (which, in turn, was less than two months after I lost my baby, and just three days after I'd returned to work). As I said in an earlier post about the Queen's death, it "felt kind of like when my grandparents died... It was a day that I knew was coming, sooner versus later -- but hoped never would." I felt so lucky to have had my grandparents in my life for so long -- but so, so sad to have to let them go. :(  Almost 25 years later, I still miss them every single day. 

I abandoned work and flew out the next day to be with my family. We had a viewing/visitation at the tiny funeral home in the small town in Minnesota where Grandma had lived her entire life. 

I stood by the open casket and stared at what was left of my grandmother. She had lost a tremendous amount of weight during her final illness since I'd last seen her, a few months earlier -- so much so that the undertaker couldn't fit her dentures in her mouth, which changed the shape of her face. Thankfully, he'd put her glasses on her face, or I might not have recognized her at all. I stood there frozen, sobbing and sobbing, while relatives and friends milled around, talking among themselves. 

Then my cousin -- I only have two on that side of my family -- came over and put his arm around me and gave me a squeeze. He pointed to the large photo on the easel beside the casket, a wonderful shot of both of my grandparents, laughing together. "That's how I like to remember them," he whispered to me. My cousin has always been a sweetheart of a guy, and I will never forget that gesture of kindness and solidarity and support. And my mind went back to that moment when I saw Prince Andrew doing the same thing for his youngest daughter -- who is a royal princess, but (like me), also just a young woman coming to terms with the death of her beloved grandmother.

Andrew is about a year older than me, and (while I know it's hard to believe now...!) was something of a teen idol when I was growing up -- especially among me & my peers when he came to Canada in the late 1970s to spend a year at Lakefield College, a private boys' school near Peterborough, Ontario, and also when he accompanied his parents to the Commonwealth Games in Edmonton in 1978. (As the royal car departed the stadium, I remember yelling at the TV, "Andrew!  Come back!!"  lol)  

(My best friend sent him a letter asking if he wanted to be penpals (!) -- and actually got a polite reply from a lady-in-waiting at Buckingham Palace, thanking her for her letter, but telling her that Prince Andrew was not allowed to correspond with people he did not know personally. I think she framed it.)  

Unfortunately, his reputation has gone a looooonnngg way downhill in the years since then (and deservedly so).

But I will give him credit for that loving gesture of fatherly support. ;)  

(It's World Childless Week 2022!  I will be posting more about that later.) 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here

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