Tuesday, November 6, 2007

The Sudbury abduction case

I started writing this post a few days ago about a recent event several hundred miles to the north of where I live. Then I came across this post from Aurelia, & she's said it much better than I did. (Great minds think alike -- I was even ranting about the misuse of the term "miscarriage.")

I will add these thoughts from my original draft:

When I first heard about the baby who had disappeared from a hospital in Sudbury this past week, I started praying. Not only for the baby's safe return to its parents, but also: "Please, please, don't let it be a bereaved or infertile woman." Call it a hunch. And I was right. :(

Initially, I felt sorry for myself, and the other bereaved parents/infertile couples that I know. There is so much stigma attached to grief & infertility as it is. People go out of their way to avoid us as it is (if only because they simply don't know what to say to us). The last thing on earth bereaved parents need is having people think that we're so unhinged by our grief that we're out to steal their babies. (The Globe article emphasized that baby abductions are a very, very rare occurrence.)

I most certainly cannot condone or excuse abducting babies from hospitals -- how many hundreds of women lose pregnancies every single day who would never dream of doing something like that? -- but at the same time, I can't help but feel at least a little sorry for the abductor. As a bereaved parent myself, I know how the loss of a baby can sometimes leave you teetering on the bridge of sanity. And not only did she lose a baby, the Globe & Mail also reported that she looked after her father until he died of cancer last year, and that she was diagnosed with cancer herself after his death. Dh & I had the benefit of attending a support group (as well as the Internet ) -- I can't imagine there are a lot of support groups for bereaved parents or cancer patients or caregivers in Kirkland Lake. And Lord knows, a woman is nothing without a baby in her arms or in her belly -- at least, that's what the popular culture right now is telling us, isn't it?

I imagine there is more to this story than is known or can be told right now. I'll be following the case with interest.

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