An anonymous commenter left this link, awhile back now, about a group of mothers in England -- from an Internet forum, no less!! -- calling for the establishment of a new code of practice to help lessen the trauma of miscarriage. Go have a read; it's a great article.
As the article says, you would think that, with at least one in four pregnancies ending in miscarriage, our healthcare system(s) would know how to properly care for women in these situations. But as far too many of us know from personal experience (whether we live in England, Canada, the United States, Australia or elsewhere), this is too often sadly not the case.
As a volunteer facilitator for a pregnancy loss support group for more than 10 years, I heard many sad stories of how an already-awful situation was made even worse by the actions & attitudes (ranging from indifferent to brusque) of medical staff. Those who had experienced multiple losses often compared the way they were treated from one loss to the next, sometimes at different facilities but sometimes at the very same hospital.
(This is not, of course, to say that all parents have bad experiences. I've also heard many, many stories of incredible kindness & compassion shown by caring doctors and nurses.)
Beyond any attitudinal adjustments needed, there is no clear, single protocol that's followed when a baby is miscarried or stillborn. Practices and procedures differ not only from hospital to hospital, even within the same city, but sometimes from shift to shift, depending on who's working that night. In some hospitals, women are delivering stillborn babies next door to women celebrating the birth of live, healthy, wailing infants with their jubilant families. In some hospitals, autopsies are performed as a matter of routine; in others, they're not.
The vast majority of parents, of course, have no idea whether there are alternatives to the way they are being treated. They're in a situation where neither they nor their families have many precedents to fall back on, that their prenatal classes didn't prepare them for. This is where established protocols & gentle guidance and suggestions from well-trained staff are so important.
What did you think of the article?