I thought about that post the other day when I read a great essay on a site called, intriguingly, "Role Reboot: Life, Off Script." It was written by Melanie Holmes, who is also the author of a book called "The Female Assumption: A Mother's Story, Freeing Women from the View that Motherhood is a Mandate." (I have not read this yet, but it's on my wish list!)
As the title suggests, Holmes has kids; she just wants those kids (and particularly her daughter) to know that parenthood is a choice, and that it's OK if they choose not to have kids. How refreshing!
Holmes's essay is called "You Don’t Own The Definition Of ‘Busy.’" "No one person or category of persons has cornered the market on “Busyness.” Although there are plenty of people who would like to believe they have," she writes. (She's singing my song...!) ;) My favourite part:
In the interviews I conducted for my book, I interviewed a teacher who does not want her own kids. She has heard from her co-workers who are mothers, “You just don’t know what tired is.” Really?! So then the female entrepreneur who volunteers to lead her state’s chapter of the Special Olympics, while managing a busy practice, and being a good boss, friend, daughter, aunt, and sister—she’s not exhausted? Because she doesn’t have her own kids?
It’s incorrect to think that you own the corner on “busyness.” You don’t. You may feel pulled in a million directions, as I do, as many people do, but unless you’ve walked in the shoes of each person on the face of this earth, then please, I beg you, please refrain from assuming that you’re in the category of “the busiest.”There's more (but this was the part most relevant to the ALI community). Go read the rest of it here.
Thank you, Melanie Holmes! I look forward to getting & reading your book soon. :)