* I must admit I've also been feeling a bit guilty that we haven't been able to visit the cemetery anywhere near as often as we used to, when we lived closer (12 km/15 minutes then, vs 50-60 km or 30-45 minutes now, depending on the route we take). That said, we were there, almost without fail, every week for almost 18 years; I don't think anyone could accuse us of neglect. ;) Even when we led our support group, there were some parents who were amazed that we visited every single week. A few hadn't been since their child's funeral; they just couldn't bear the sadness and the guilt. Everyone's feelings & experiences are different...!
* Dare I say/write it? I think I am almost done my Christmas shopping! Tree is up and cards are in the mail. No Christmas baking done -- but not that I really needed it... ;)
* We got our first major dump of snow over the weekend. (As I've said many times before) It gets pretty old pretty fast... but I must admit it feels more Christmas-y around here now (and doesn't feel like Christmas without it!).
* I have something to look forward to in the new year: a recently widowed childless/free girlfriend (whom I've known for over 30 years -- we were both reporters in the same small market, before either of us got married) & I have bought tickets to a lecture series that features inspiring women sharing stories about their lives & experiences. (Coincidentally -- or perhaps not?? lol -- several of the speakers are childless/free -- including Julia Gillard, Australia's first female prime minister, who took a great deal of flack over her "barren" state.) It will be nice to have an "excuse" to get together with her more often, particularly when she's someone with a similar frame of reference who will be happy to discuss subjects other than children and grandchildren with me. ;)
You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.
I'm glad you got out there to visit Katie and make her little nook more cozy for Christmas. <3 Hope the lecture series is good and you get some bonding time in with a kindred spirit. :)
ReplyDeleteDear Loribeth
ReplyDeleteI read your blog avidly and just wanted to say how much I admire your ability to visit Katie's grave. Don't feel guilty about visiting less frequently, I'm sure she'd understand. And I hope your renewed friendship with your widowed friend goes well too. All best Helen
I'm so glad you added "everyone's feelings and experiences are different." Because I was going to say (and what the heck, I'll still say it) that no-one could "accuse you of neglect" even if you only visited Katie once a year. Because we all know she is in your heart and mind every single day. And the love you pay to her memory demonstrates the exact opposite of neglect.
ReplyDeleteWell done on the Christmas shopping. I have very little to do this year, but my favourite mall with two of my favourite shops (one for toys for boys, and one for cute things for their now-teenage sister) has been closed because of earthquake damage. Darn it! Thinking about negotiating with my SIL that they will get a surprise parcel in the new year!
And I'm really really jealous of the lecture series. If I lived in Toronto, I'd go with you (and then out for a nice pot of tea afterwards). Julia Gillard is a good speaker on women's issues, and I'd love to hear her live.
I think it's such a beautiful commitment to have visited Katie weekly for 18 years, and to keep things up for the seasons even though you live further away. Thinking of you this December. Also, woo hoo to being done with Christmas shopping! I'm almost there but not yet...impressive!
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like such a cool lecture series. And the best reason for a set girls nights out.
ReplyDeleteThat you visited Katie every week for almost 18 years is the most touching tribute to your love for her - I find that amazing, you should be proud (the wrong word: not sure if there's an adjective for that really). What a beautiful testament to how wanted that little girl was.
ReplyDeleteEvery week, that takes me breath away, but that's what you do for family, eh? You'll have a great time out with your friend, I'm sure the conversations will be refreshing!
ReplyDeleteHubs has put the tree up; I’ve only thought about the Christmas shopping at this stage, but I have done the cake and the pudding. Christmas cards are still waiting to be done, I mean there’s still plenty of time, right?
ReplyDeleteThe lecture series sounds like a great outing. I may not have always agreed with some of her politics but I always took the time to listen to Julia talk on TV or radio. Hearing her live would be my wish too. Love her passion on subjects close to her heart…… hhm, there’s a thought for a Christmas present to myself.. her book!