Tuesday, January 8, 2008

One of THOSE calls...

FIL called tonight. First, some explanation -- my MIL passed away long before I ever met her, & FIL remarried almost 20 years ago. StepMIL has four children, three boys and a girl, who are all more or less the same age as dh & me. The relationships we have with them are not close -- we were all adults at the time of the wedding -- but are cordial. They have three marriages, two divorces and no children among them -- until now.

Tonight's call was to tell us that youngest stepBIL's wife is expecting in August. They are both 40, going on 41 -- married for a couple of years & together for about the last 10. They've known each other since they were in school, although both were married to other people in the interim. BIL's wife has a daughter from her first marriage, who is in her first year of university (!!).

Dh talked to stepMIL & congratulated her (he didn't call me over to the phone, thankfully!). Of course she is (understandably) absolutely over the moon, as this will be her first and likely only grandchild. I can't begrudge her that, but of course, this will be the primary topic of conversation whenever we go to visit there for the next seven months (& thereafter).

I don't know the exact due date, but wanna take bets that it will be right on or around Katie's 10th anniversary date? :(


  1. I was talking to my head-shrinker last night about this - wondering if it ever gets any easier to endure others pregnancies. I keep waiting to be ok with it, to feel joy for others with ease.

  2. Ugh. I'm sorry.
    I hope the dates don't coincide. That would be too cruel.

  3. Oh, dang.....What a tough blow. I really hope the dates keep their distance.

    Thinking of you, and wishing us both fortitude in the unfolding months. *hugs*

  4. yikes... I'm sorry. It's hard to to want to scream the unfairness of the whole thing. Do you feel as I do that no baby should be born in the month of our horror? I know that's selfish and unrealistic, but fertility was never kind to you so it seems only fair that you get August to be for your baby. Maybe their baby will be a little early or a little late and arrive in July or September.

  5. I am so sorry. I can't tell you how often I have avoided family functions because of pregnancies and babies.

    Thanks for posting on my blog about the DE retrieval.

    I can't imagine the strength it must take to have a baby not live and then move on to living child free. I hope you find that things will get easier.

  6. I'm sorry. I understand her enthusiasm, but it's hard to live with it.

  7. The "primary topic of conversation" part is what makes these things so hard to deal with. I get that it is a happy event, but every so often, can we talk about something else? This annoyed the heck out of me when I was the one that was pregnant.

    Thinking of you...

  8. I felt myself bracing myself as I read your post.

    I am sorry for your loss of Katie. It would be nice to get that day/week/(month?) all to yourselves to mark it without a lot of family stuff going on in the background.

  9. ouch. I hate those calls. and yes, it all makes family events even harder. ~luna