Friday, March 14, 2008

Another one bites the dust...

Yep, another pregnancy announcement, this one at work. We had a team meeting this morning, and as things were breaking up, one of the girls asked our two bosses if she could speak with them. I took one look at the baggy cardigan she's been wearing frequently lately, remembered the apple juice she was drinking at break yesterday, & I immediately knew what the conversation would be about.

She emerged & told the rest of us -- yep, she's pregnant, due the first week of October. I guess she really did have fun on that Caribbean vacation in January. ; ) One of the new dads in the office kept saying to her, "It's the best thing ever." Ouch. Of the 10 or so people in my particular area, only two (my immediate boss & the next boss up the line) were around when I was pregnant 10 years ago, so nobody has a clue that I might be finding this a little painful (of course, even if they did know, they probably still wouldn't have a clue...!). And it's been almost that long since we've had a pregnant woman in our area of the department.

Of course, not only do I get to go through the whole pregnancy with her (almost in lockstep with the timing of my own pregnancy, 10 years ago -- I was due in November), I will get to pick up a lot of the slack when she heads off on her year's maternity leave... which will be right in time for all the fun (not) of year end. Hopefully they will get someone on contract to cover her leave and to help us, and not expect us to soldier on without her.

I really like this girl. I just get tired of always being the bridesmaid & never the bride, know what I mean?



  1. I'm sorry. The sting never goes away, does it?

  2. I knooow whatcha mean....
    Im sorry for the announcement--and Im really hoping you dont get stuck with all her work!

  3. Do I ever! Out of curiosity's sake I totaled up the number of babies born in my office this past week. Now I now why I've been having such a hard to getting it together. Of ~25 people in the seven years I've been on board, there have been 22 babies born!! One particularly fertile guy has had three alone. Sigh.

  4. A friend of mine just had her second and I ran into a former neighbour who is on their second. At one point, we had all planned to raise our kids together, except of course, they went went to actually have them and I didn't. I remember vividly how I went to their baby showers, gritted my teeth, smiled through the constant questioning of when I was going to get pregnant, blah, blah, blah. And as I see their children grow, they have no idea how I'm constantly reminded that my phantom child would have looked like theirs or would be their age. Life goes on.

    Have you considered getting your vows renewed? I think you need to be a bride again! I once talked to this woman who renewed her vows after many years of marriage and she was showing me pictures and giggling like a teenager. Maybe you need to have big wonderful celebration just for you! It could have some some sort of crazy theme and the wedding gifts would be donations to a cause of your choice or maybe you could go away to some exotic locale!

  5. I know. I'm right with you. I came from an office that seemed to be going through a constant baby boom and then it was always "when are you guys going to have kids?". I have now discovered that I avoid people with small children between the ages of 0 and 9. I don't even know what to say to you to help you get through the next several months with your coworker! I envision several uncomfortable conversations/questions in your future.

  6. I find the closer in proximity any given pregnant woman is to my day to day life, the harder it is for me to stomach the news. Our friends in CO who just gave birth to their first child? Not hard for me to deal with! My classmate who is currently pregnant with her third and talks incessantly about it? HARD for me to deal with.

    I know what you mean.

  7. Thanks for all your comments!

    Pamela Jeanne -- I remember in the first year alone after my daughter's stillbirth, I had TEN office pregnancies to get through. All the women had healthy babies, of course. I can't even begin to count the number of babies since then. There several last year, including two adoptions. Only two micarriages that I can think of/know of in the entire 22 years I've been with this department/company, both to a friend of mine who subsequently had two children via IVF & now works for a different department.

    Irish Girl, I agree with you -- it's the daily encounters that make co-worker pregnancies so hard -- and this is a woman right within my own group, just a few cubicles away from me, so I really will be seeing her & talking with her every day & overhearing her conversations with other people. Sigh.

    Deathstar -- our 25th wedding anniversary will be in 2010. I've often though about whether we should throw ourselves a party. On the one hand, it seems sort of an egotistical thing to do, but on the other hand, most of dh's family didn't even come to our wedding, & I feel like they've been waiting to celebrate SOMETHING with us for years -- & who else is going to give us a party?? Usually, it's people's kids who organize the big anniversary celebrations.

    We will definitely do something special, even if it's just for the two of us!

  8. Wow - ouch Lori. I hope the next several months aren't completely awful and you get stuck with all her work too.

    Even though you can't ask them to stop - it still isn't easy to have to have it up front and close all the time.

    And what dreadful timing too.


  9. Ouch. The parallel isn't a great one in this anniversary year. I do hope that if her behavior or conversation becomes a burden, you'll share a few details of your own story.

  10. I really do hate it when someone gets pregnant and everyone else starts conversations about how wonderful parenthood is. Hell, I even hated it when I was pregnant and "out." It's like it's this big exclusive club, and all the giddy parents out there are thrilled they may have gotten a new member. Too bad it would have been too bitchy for you to follow up his comment with, "And it's the worst thing ever if you lose the baby."

  11. That is just so hard, especially the ambush. I can't imagine that it gets any easier, even on whatever number you have managed to make it to.

  12. a little late chiming in here, but I sure do know this one. I'm so tired of those announcements and all the excited conversations, and also picking up the pieces while others are home nursing their babies. it never seems to end.

    I have a new co-worker now who is just about to start trying (gee, thanks for sharing) and it's all I can do to keep my mouth shut and change the subject...

    just last week I had to facilitate a meeting when a pregnant colleague arrived late to all kinds of excitement (since she's now showing and can't hide it anymore). I had to keep interrupting all the side discussions -- how far along, when are you due, is it your first, will you go back to work, etc. -- to stay on track in many ways. funny how I let the *other* discussions go on a while longer... ugh.

    anyway, my long rambling way of saying I hear you on this one! ~luna