Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Differing perspectives...

So I was at my desk this morning & I noticed that my pregnant co-worker hadn't shown up yet. Someone else said, "Where is she?" & one of the 20-somethings squealed, "Oh yes -- she's finding out the sex today!!" -- i.e., having an ultrasound.

I bowed my head at my desk & prayed that would be all she found out today.

She came in around 11 & headed straight for our boss's office (near mine) & proceeded to spill the beans -- the baby wasn't co-operating (again), but the technician is 60% sure it's a girl, blah blah. Everyone was giggling & chattering excitedly.

I stayed at my desk, struggling to focus on my work -- wishing with all my heart that I could return to the days when an ultrasound only meant finding out the baby's gender & getting a keepsake photo.


  1. ((((hugs))))
    This pain just never goes away. I'm so sorry it hit you again today at the office. YOu'd think there would be some "safe zone" somewhere ...

  2. Amnio to me has such a different connotation; might as well go to the Sears portrait studio and get it in a cardboard frame when you're through for all the good it did me.

    In any event: Hard to know for some it's merely "boy or girl?" while others it's "alive or dead?" For me it will always be just a weigh station, and despite good news will have zero impact on the final outcome. Sorry you had to be privy to that.

  3. I'm so sorry that you bear the burden of thinking about these things when others around you are blissfully ignorant. Sounds like it was a really hard moment.

  4. My first question was always "heartbeat?". The next was "correct size for dates?" and lastly "where's that darned placenta located . . ."

    When you know you have to worry about those things and other stuff like fluid volume, whether or not the baby's organs are inside or outside and cervical length - it does tend to skew the experience of "the ultrasound."

    It never again is simply a matter of "boy" or "girl" and I ended up sitting on the other side of the glass looking in just like too many of us.


  5. Argh! I'm sorry. It's amazing how oblivious the rest of the world is to the struggles of the IF: How oblivious and naive we all used to be. I too would love to go back to being that innocent, not dreading whenever someone tells me they have an announcement. *hugs*

  6. Oh, to be so happy and unaware. An ultrasound means "pink or blue" to so many, while the rest of us just hope for a heartbeat.

  7. Beagle's right: they do. I'd like to think that knowledge is always valuable, but then I think of your pain, and wish you had had that same blissful ignorance.

    My thoughts are with you today.

  8. As you already know, I can't stand people who think this ultrasound is about nothing but gender--even if they're my friends. I feel a weird kinship with people who have healthy children and admit they were very, very nervous before the Big Ultrasound. Somehow, I feel like they were more "deserving" of a healthy diagnosis than people such as your co-worker.

  9. In total agreement with all the comments here...ah to be innocent once more.

  10. Ugh Loribeth, that is just cringe-worthy. I am sorry you had to deal with that.

    I now have a third pregnant colleague to look at every day.