The anniversary cycle begins anew.
Looking at my last year's post, I notice that Feb. 8, 1998, was a Sunday, as is today. And Feb. 13, then & now, falls on a Friday.
Somehow, though, 11 years doesn't sound quite as momentous as 10, even though it's a whole year more. I don't think this year will be quite as difficult as last (which is not to say there won't be difficult moments, nevertheless...).
We went to the cemetery today, as we do most Sundays. After the bitter cold last week, it was much warmer today -- above zero (Celsius), & the huge piles of snow melting fast.
As I've written before, February is my absolute least favourite month of the year -- but today, there was just a hint of spring in the air. : ) And Friday the 13th this year kicks off a long weekend!
I know that time can ease some of the pain, but the ache is always within reach...
ReplyDeleteThinking about you my friend and wishing you well.
Sometimes it feels as though life is just on a continuous loop cycle.
ReplyDeleteI hope this year is easier for you. The hint of spring that is in the air - perhaps that is Katie telling you the cold winter is over and sending you some warmth.
I imagine no matter how far down this road we travel, the journey will always somehow feel as though we have only just begun and that no matter how far we go it will never really end.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you.
i was just trying to jot down some thoughts for me this Thursday, and seriously just got through writing about the endless loop. It is a loop. There's always a date or a reminder or a holiday to stab at your brain and remind you -- just in case you had forgotten. As if. Getting through the big one seems so much less momentous the second time around knowing that I have all the other crap to get through again, too. And again. And again.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you.
(Oh and thanks for the award! I'm not sure I'll get to it this week -- bad week. It might be a nice distraction when I resurface.)
Huge hugs to you, Loribeth, and wishes for joy to balance out the grief.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad the hint of spring was there to ease your grief if only for the fleetest of moments.... I wish for you for all to the snow to melt very soon!
ReplyDeleteWe'll be here for you, reading along.
ReplyDeleteYour Interview Questions.
ReplyDelete1. You work in banking, which is traditionally a man's world. How have you coped with this? Is it easier for younger women now?
2. You have written so eloquently about how you struggle that there will be no one left to remember you when you die, as Katie is already gone. Have you ever thought of ways to leave your mark on the world?
3. You have been such a kind and welcoming person to all Dead Baby Mum's. What is the hardest part about welcoming new dead baby mum's?
4. What is your idea day.
5. You've talked about worshipping at an Anglican Church in times past, and how it was too painful to stay. If you could change how the church responded to you, and to Katie's death, what would you change?
I can't believe I waited so long to comment on this post. I read it back when you posted it. But I never checked it off in my Google Reader. Why? Because I always intended to comment. But I never knew what to say. I just have no basis for understanding the sadness you feel. So it makes me feel like a fraud for trying to comfort you.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for waiting so long to tell you that I'm sorry for your pain.