Sunday, April 25, 2021


Is anyone planning to watch the Oscars (Academy Awards) tonight??  Oscar Night has always been huge at our house (as I've written in the past). I have not missed one since I was a kid in the early 1970s (like, about FIFTY (50) YEARS, people!!), with two partial exceptions: (1)1979, when I was a high schooler, working part-time, and so missed the first hour or so -- and (2) 1989, when I bought us tickets to the theatre -- "Phantom of the Opera" -- for the same night. We taped it on our VCR, made popcorn & watched it the next night, fast-forwarding through the commercials (which actually was not a bad way to go, lol). (It was the year of Rob Lowe, Snow White and "Proud Mary," if you know which broadcast I mean...!) 

It's the only awards show I still watch faithfully every year -- BUT (and for anyone who knows me, this is HUGE) -- I am seriously contemplating putting on the PVR & watching my regular Sunday night PBS shows (My Grandparents' War and Atlantic Crossing) instead. (!!!)  I have not been inside a movie theatre in more than a year (and I prefer to watch new releases in the theatre, if I can), I have barely heard of most of the nominees, and... I'm just not feeling it this year.  :(  

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In a kind-of-similar vein, this past week was National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW).  Every year I keep thinking I'm going to write something about it, maybe something related to the theme. And every year it goes by and I don't get it done. This year I had the time, obviously, but once again, I just wasn't feeling any motivation. Part of it is just the covid blahs, I think -- but there's more to it than that. If you think awareness of infertility as an issue is lacking, try awareness of the realities of childless/free living after infertility (among other ways to be childless) -- among both fertile & infertile people. RESOLVE, which sponsors NIAW,  does offer some resources for childless/free living on its website and forums -- but its primary focus is, obviously, on helping people build families. (It also has relationships with the fertility industry that some find problematic -- see this 2016 post by Pamela at Silent Sorority, for example.)  

Some CNBCers (Jobi Tyson at Childless Women/Tutum Global) and Brandi at Not So Mommy) made an effort this year to create some NIAW programming by & for CNBCers, which was nice. I'm sure it was helpful for many people, and I did watch the panel discussion yesterday, which included Jody Day of Gateway Women and Barbara Collura of RESOLVE among the speakers.  But I'll admit -- like the Oscars this year -- I just couldn't muster up a lot of enthusiasm to do much else.  

Infertility was and is obviously a big part of my story -- I am & always will be an infertile woman -- but as someone whose infertility journey did not end with a (living) baby... I'm ambivalent. I'm happy if my story and my blog posts can help women who are transitioning to a childless/free life after infertility -- and I think it's a story more women need to hear (especially since some 70% of fertility treatments do NOT result in a take-home baby) -- but it's not a message they're eager to hear when they're still "in the trenches." 

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The New York Times had a recent article that perfectly described my current frame of mind. There's even a term for it -- "languishing."  

Are you languishing, like me? 


  1. The Oscars must be taking a hit this year. It's usually one of the most important nights of the year for one of my sisters, but even she is having a crawfish boil today instead... (Outside? Masked? We can only hope.)

    I don't like Resolve. I've never felt like they made a place for people like me, people living their life without children after infertility. And they certainly don't do anything to raise awareness about the actual realities of fertility treatments and adoption. I checked out their hashtag on twitter this year and was left feeling empty. I feel like they promote pronatalism.

    Languishing is an apt description! We can only go on like this for so long... Enduring a pandemic is draining, depressing, uncertain, and even infuriating at times. That's a lot of emotions. It makes sense that my brain and body have most likely settled into a period of languishing.

  2. That NYT article really really really spoke to me as I have definitely been languishing for the past few months (at least).

    I don't usually watch the awards shows and probably won't tune in to the Oscars. I do miss seeing films in the theatre! I'm sad about Black Widow coming out in the summer because I won't feel safe going to a theatre (if they're even open here). I'm worried it won't be a big hit and then that will be taken as 'proof' that women can't headline superhero movies.

  3. Like you I let NIAW completely slide till today. I've written a couple of posts, but they're for me and my readers, not for NIAW. IYKWIM.

    I'm not that interested in the Oscars this year. Or for the last few years, as it all seems too self-congratulatory if you ask me. I've often watched it when I have been home - it's on Monday afternoons for us. But I don't think I can be bothered this year.

    I'm not languishing. Now that we are "elderfree" (bittersweet), it feels like my life might begin again!