I'm a paid subscriber to Anne Helen Petersen's Substack newsletter, "Culture Study" which, as the name suggests, tackles various subjects related to the culture around us. She is childfree by choice, and sometimes touches on that in her writing, but she often covers parenting issues, because (of course) so many of her readers are parents. A couple of times a week, she posts a discussion topic, and everyone jumps into the conversation in the comments. There are regular discussions about what we're reading/watching/listening to/cooking, and other recent topics have included divorce, being queer, favourite family photos (and why), and regional food delights.
Imagine my surprise and delight when this past Friday (July 21st), the topic was "Your Childless Experience"!!
We spend a lot of time thinking and talking and paying attention to parents in this newsletter. We do this because even though I am not a parent, a whole lot of people are, and the way they experience the world matters. The majority of adults *are* parents (although that percentage is decreasing every decade) and that experience of the world is often assumed to be the default. It shows up in the way organizations prioritize benefits, it inflects assumptions about eldercare, it’s ALL OVER political rhetoric. The imagined adult, the theoretical adult that society is built for….they’re a parent.And yet a whole lot of us are not parents! We are not the majority, but we exist, and our needs and rhythms and finances and ways of negotiating the world….they’re different. Some of us have consciously chosen not to have children, others are ambivalent or have found themselves in this situation without really realizing it, and some are desperate for children they cannot have for whatever reason. No matter how you found yourself here, I wanted to create some space here to talk about the experience of not having children in a society where the majority of people do. What’s hard? What rules? What’s weirder than you thought, what have you grown to appreciate, what scares you or delights you?
I love that she acknowledged that society is built for parents, and that she made space for the No Kidding to talk. I couldn't of course see the conversation, but you have me thinking about subscribing. As if I didn't have enough to read already! lol
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