#MicroblogMondays: A family update

(Not quite a "micro" post, but it's what I've got and what's on my mind right now, so...!):  

For several months now, I've been hinting here about my BIL's declining health, and in April, I wrote a little more about what's been going on and how it's been affecting me & dh. I wrote then: 

...he's not going to get better unless and until he has a major surgical procedure, which may or may not work (and we don't like to think about "may not"). There is a waiting list involved -- so we don't know when or how this is all going to unfold. (That's about as specific as I think I can get here.)

While I try not to be too specific when I write about other people here (not my story -- although this is, partly, because dh & I have been affected a lot too), it's becoming harder to write honestly about what's been going on without adding at least a few more details:    

The "major surgical procedure" I mentioned? It's an organ transplant -- one of the few that can be done using organs, or parts of organs, from a living donor. It is BIL's only real shot at regaining some quality of life. (And, while they're at it, they're also going to repair the hernia that has been bothering him for quite a while now.)   

After assessing a few of the potential donors from within the extended family, who very generously volunteered to be tested for suitability (just one potential donor gets evaluated at a time, to conserve scarce medical resources), the transplant team decided that Older Nephew (Little Great-Nephew's dad) would be an excellent match for his dad. 

The operation is scheduled a week from today, at a downtown Toronto hospital.   

A transplant, I don't think I have to emphasize, is not your garden-variety surgery. It carries risks for both donor and recipient -- although the team doing it is reportedly the best in Canada and has a very high success rate. Older Nephew is, happily, in great physical shape, and the doctors have assured him the risks he'll be incurring -- although there always are some, of course -- are pretty minimal.  They have also assured BIL that the chances his body will reject the donated organ are very small.  

Nevertheless -- it's anxiety-inducing. And of course, this will involve not just one but TWO members of our family. (And if *I'm* stressed about it, you can imagine my poor SIL... and of course dh, who carries a lot of anxiety at the best of times...)  

As I write this, BIL is currently in another hospital (closer to home) -- he wasn't feeling well on Saturday night so SIL took him to emergency. They admitted him and he's been there ever since then. He had an infection and a slight fever -- which thankfully has broken -- and they are currently pumping him with antibiotics. This is the fourth or fifth time this has happened over the past 2+ years. We're hoping this is not going to derail the scheduled operation, and we're hoping they will just keep him there and keep an eye on him until next week. He has several medical appointments at the hospital downtown this week, so we'll know more after those. 

Needless to say, your thoughts/prayers/positive thoughts/good vibes/etc. for our family in the coming days and weeks will be much appreciated.  Also, any advice you might have to offer on how dh & I can best support them all through this stressful time. We're staying with Little Great-Nephew several times this week while both grandparents & parents are at appointments, and dh is going to drive some family members down to the hospital early on the morning of the operation (and presumably some of them home again later that night). (There likely won't be room for me in the car, so I will probably wind up staying at home for the day, with dh & SIL sending me updates.)  

We've already thought of a few other things we can do to help. I've already bought a couple of gift cards for Tim Hortons & Starbucks for SIL & Older Nephew's Wife to use for coffees & snacks/treats while they're hanging out at the hospital (there are outlets of both in the lobby) and/or later, and we're going to buy supermarket gift cards to help Older Nephew & his wife pay for groceries while he's off work. We're also planning to offer to drive up there now & then to distract Little Great-Nephew (as well as keep an eye on Older Nephew) while the wife gets in a little "me time" for shopping, a manicure, whatever she feels like she needs. One of the cousins has volunteered to message all the other cousins, on both sides of the family, to coordinate other support for meals, appointments, etc.  

Other ideas? 

(There goes any chance of spending time with my family out west this summer -- although late August/early September might still be possible, depending on how recovery goes. My parents are very disappointed that I won't be coming -- AGAIN.  :(  I guess there's always Thanksgiving in October again??) 

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here.