GRAB(ook) Club: "Measure of Love" by Melissa Ford

I am so happy that Melissa at Stirrup Queens is kicking off another incarnation of her online book club -- particularly since my desire to participate in the Barren B*tches Book Club was a key reason why I started this blog in 2007. : ) 

This time around, participants have been asked to post a single question on their blog (as if we were all sitting in a room together talking about the book), which everyone can answer in the comment section. All of the posts will be compiled in a linked list on Stirrup Queens (http://www.stirrup-queens.com/2013/06/grabook-club-discusses-measure-of-love/). Discussions are also taking place on Facebook and GoodReads too -- post your question there if you don't have a blog and dive into the discussion.

The first book up for discussion is Melissa's own new novel, Measure of Love -- a sequel to Life From Scratch (which I wrote about here) -- featuring the further adventures of blogger/cook Rachel Goldman, her ex-husband Adam and her best friend, Arianna. If you liked Life From Scratch, I'm sure you will also like Measure of Love. Along with the old favourite characters, there are new ones introduced to keep things interesting, and new dilemmas for Rachel to face, including weddings (plural), meddling inlaws and challenges to face in her friendship with Arianna.

If you haven't read Life From Scratch, you could still read Measure of Love on its own -- but you'll probably get more out of it if you start with the first book. 

There were lots of questions I considered throwing out to the field (and I hope someone else will ask the other ones I had...!) -- but I settled on asking this one. My question to all of you:

If you are married:  Could you relate to the pre-wedding jitters and doubts described in the book? Did you have them yourself?  If so, were they related to the person you were marrying, the details of the wedding, or your doubts about the institution of marriage itself?  If you're not married (or if you were a supremely calm & confident bride), was there another time in your life when you doubted the path you were following or wondered if you were doing the right thing?

My own answer: 
I was actually a pretty calm bride. One of my girlfriends/bridesmaids can actually be heard on my wedding video as they helped me put on my veil, marvelling, "Look at her -- she's so calm!"  The minister commented that she'd never seen such an organized bride (and this was before the days of computers or the Internet -- all my organizing was done inside a good old-fashioned three-ring binder -- which I still have, by the way.

Probably the biggest problem in planning the wedding was finding the bridesmaids' dresses, but my sister finally found the perfect one. The minister at my mother's church in the town where my parents had recently moved was decidedly lukewarm about marrying us (much to my mother The Church Lady's ire) -- but the (female) chaplain at the university where dh & I had met -- which seemed like the perfect place for us to get married anyway -- responded warmly to our request.  And I had to convince my skeptical dad to cough up $400 to hire a newfangled thing called a videographer to make a video of the wedding -- something I saw at a wedding show & decided I would regret not doing. (Of course, guess who wound up showing the finished video to everyone within a 200-mile radius?)  Of course, back then, weddings, while still a Big Deal, were not quite the production they have become these days, influenced by well-publicized celebrity weddings, reality TV shows like "Say Yes to Dress" and Internet forums like Pinterest. There were fewer details to obsess over and not quite as many Joneses to keep up with. ; )

Dh & I had a long-distance relationship for the better part of three years before we got married, so I had plenty of time to think about what I was doing & whether this was what I really wanted.  I was just so happy that we were finally getting married & getting to be together for good. I think that outweighed any cold feet I might have had.

I will admit there was one moment, shortly before the wedding -- I remember looking at him and it just HIT me -- " Holy cow -- THIS is the guy I'm going to spend the rest of my life with??" It was like, "Who is this guy??"  The moment passed.  That was almost 28 years ago, and while we've certainly had our ups & downs, I know I definitely made the right decision. : )

I did have a moment of "OMG" panic just as the doors to the chapel swung open and the bridesmaids began walking down the aisle... not so much, "Get me out of here" but "Omigod, look at all those people -- and they're all going to be looking at ME next!"  I took a very deep breath just as my dad & I started our own journey down the aisle -- which the photographer happened to capture for posterity. Ugh. :p 

And now, over to you. : )

After you answer my question, please click over to read the rest of the book club questions for Measure of Love (http://www.stirrup-queens.com/2013/06/grabook-club-discusses-measure-of-love/). You can get your own copy of Measure of Love by Melissa Ford at bookstores including Amazon (http://www.amazon.com/Measure-of-Love-ebook/dp/B00C7Y1Y8E/).