Saturday, March 23, 2019

"The Right Way to Follow Your Passion"

I don't know why (and I apologize in advance to any of you who may feel differently)(how very Canadian of me, lol), but whenever anyone starts blathering on about "finding your passion" and how we (especially when "we" = a corporation) are "passionate about [whatever],"  I habitually find myself rolling my eyes. Maybe because it was something I heard far too often and was compelled to include as a buzzword in far too many documents during my career as a corporate communicator (especially in later years). And of course, part of my resistance no doubt stems from the fact that I "followed my passion" to start a family -- and wound up a complete & utter (and still childless) wreck.  I've come a long way since then, of course, but it's not a time in my life that I'd care to relive anytime soon.

Now, "passion" has its place -- I will admit to being "passionate" myself about certain things (even if I might resist using that particular term, lol). I might even say I am "passionate" about connecting with other childless/free women and sharing what I've learned about this life, and learning more from you in return. :)

Perhaps it's the stoic Scandinavian in me ;)  or the practical Capricorn influence. But I worry that far too many people (and young people in particular) equate "passion" with "career." (Isn't that what we always hear? -- "do what you love and the money will follow"?)  They bounce from one academic program to the next and from job to job in search of that elusive spark of "passion" that will make their life perfect. Or they do find a way to turn their passion into profits, but eventually, the daily grind drains the joy from something they once loved.

I recently shared a meme I found about how the pressure to "find your passion" is messing a lot of people up. (I was also reminded of a story I found once (& shared here), which carried one of my all-time favourite headlines:  "Follow Your Bliss, Right Off the Cliff.") So my interest was piqued when I found this article in the New York Times a few days ago, which addresses some of these topics:  "The Right Way to Follow Your Passion."

I was especially interested in the author's thoughts about when "passion" becomes obsession, and the difference between "harmonious passion" and "obsessive passion."  Does any of this sound familiar??:
Research shows that obsessive passion is associated with burnout, anxiety, depression and unethical conduct. One reason for this is that people who are obsessively passionate tie their self-worth to outcomes that are often outside their control. Being passionate about — or, perhaps better put, a slave to — the achievement of an external result that you cannot control creates a volatile and fragile sense of self. The consequences are often disastrous.
I also appreciated this point, near the end:
Embrace acute failure for chronic gains. If you take the long view and focus on a lifetime of progress instead of point-in-time results, then failure shifts from being something terrible to a source of rich information and an opportunity to grow.
Not everything in this article applies to infertility ;) but there is plenty of food for thought. I'd love to hear yours!

I usually recommend caution when reading the comments ;)  but some of them are instructive too.

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