"Navigating the Messy Middle" by Ann Douglas

Ann Douglas is one of Canada's best known writers and speakers on parenting and pregnancy issues, with some 26 books and umpteen magazine and newspaper articles on the subject to her credit, including the best selling "Mother of All" series of books. She's also written books about family finance, body image and weight loss, genealogy, Canadian history and culture, and even one -- a "Complete Idiots Guide," written with her dad -- explaining the sport of curling (!). 

A personal note (& full disclosure): I got to know Ann 24 (!!) years ago, when we were both members of the same email list, for women who had lost babies and were trying again, or hoping to do so. (I joined in the fall of 1998 after our daughter Katie was stillborn in August;  Ann's daughter Laura was stillborn in 1996, and she was pregnant again at the time.) "Trying Again" (2000) became the title of one of Ann's next books, about pregnancy after loss; I was among several members of the list who served on the "parent panel" for that book, and I am quoted in its pages, as well as in "The Mother of All Pregnancy Books," (2002)  which includes a full chapter on pregnancy loss (versus the usual few paragraphs or perhaps a page or two, if you're lucky). (The book is still in print, in an updated edition, and the last time I checked, my quote was still in it!)  Ann was also a volunteer with the pregnancy loss support group that dh & I supported;  we did our Resolve Through Sharing training together and saw each other at quarterly volunteer meetings. And she was probably the very first blogger I followed, as well as an inspiration (along with Mel and Pamela) for my own venture into the blogging world, 15 years ago: a very early blog post I wrote, from November 2007, says "I think I first became aware of blogging and its potential through Ann Douglas." (So thank you, Ann, for that!)  

Ann and I are roughly the same age, and her latest work reflects the most recent stage of her life (and mine): midlife.  I obviously don't have the same interest in her writing on pregnancy and parenting as I did when I first got to know her, 24 years ago -- but needless to say, this new book is right up my alley. :) 

"Navigating the Messy Middle: A Fiercely Honest and Wildly Encouraging Guide for Midlife Women" is not a long book, and it's a pretty fast, easy read, written in a friendly, chatty style. As Ann notes at the outset, there's not a lot of solid research being done on midlife women right now -- and what there is "tends to be centred on a very specific kind of midlife woman: a white, cisgender, married, middle-class woman with children. In other words, someone a lot like me." She has compensated for the lack of academic research and statistics by doing some extensive reading on the subject and interviewing some 100 women (mostly between the ages of 40 & 60) about their midlife experiences.  

I really liked (and very much appreciated!) the diverse range of voices and personal stories featured here. "There's no such thing as a one-size-fits-all midlife experience," Ann writes. AND!! (bonus!!) -- not only does the book acknowledge that not all women are married and/or mothers at midlife, and not only does it include comments from more than a single token childless woman, it actually makes clear the distinction between voluntary and involuntary childlessness!!  (Thanks, Ann!)  

(Granted, there could have been a few more childless/free voices. It's great to have so many different women's comments in the book, but I will admit that, even with the presence of several childless/free voices, the constant descriptors -- "mother of three," "single parent," ""mother and grandmother" -- were a bit wearing after a while. There were a few places where I thought a childless/free viewpoint would have been a good counterbalance to the parental perspective. But still -- there's a lot more non-parent and other diverse content than most books include, and I am grateful to Ann for making that effort. And while some of the content is not relevant to those of us without kids, there's still a lot that -- while presented through a parental lens -- is very much applicable.)    

Overall, the book provides a good overview of this increasingly relevant subject, with a lot of personal stories and insights, and an extensive notes section including suggestions for further reading. It acknowledges the hard stuff about this stage of life, while providing reassurance and pointing out the good stuff, too. (I have 13 pages of bookmarks on my Kobo e-reader!) 

4 stars on Goodreads. 

This was Book #45 read to date in 2022 (and Book #4 finished in November), bringing me to 100% of my 2022 Goodreads Reading Challenge goal of 45 books! I am (for the moment, anyway...!) 6 books ahead of schedule. :)  You can find reviews of all my books read to date in 2022 tagged as "2022 books."