Sunday, May 11, 2008

TGIAO (i.e., Thank God It's Almost Over)

I've been offline all weekend & am just catching up on my Google Reader. A lot of people have been posting about today. Lori at Weebles Wobblog had a great alternate title for it: "Drothers Day" (as well as a very kind shoutout for me). I think I'm going to retitle today on all my calendars after I go back downstairs, lol.

The hype has been building steadily to a crescendo, to the point where I thought I was going to scream. Friday morning, listening to the radio while getting ready for work, I noticed no less than three commercials in a row blaring about The Day That Shall Not Be Named (But Will Soon, Thank God, Be Over With For Another Year). There may have even been one or more others before I noticed & started counting. I never thought I'd be looking forward to Monday on a Friday afternoon, but if ever there was a reason, this is it...!

Yesterday's Toronto Star had an entire SECTION devoted to motherhood -- on top of several other motherhood-related stories in its Life section, & several more today (!!). There was one token reference to fertility treatment, & not so much in the "infertility is painful" sense, but "science is doing amazing things" vein. And two adoption-related stories. That was about it, insofar as acknowledging that this could be a difficult day for many people for many different reasons.

And the lead story on tonight's local newscast? Why, mothers who had their first baby on Mother's Day, of course. Gag.

At any rate, it's almost over, & I've survived for another year. Dh has spoiled me thoroughly all weekend long. He had to go into the office for awhile yesterday morning, & I cleaned & did laundry, but in the evening, he took me out for a steak & to the local megabookstore. It was still light outside, so we decided to stop at the cemetery where our daughter's ashes are interred in a niche. I figured it would be less busy than it would be today, & I was right.

We visit the cemetery just about every week, & I rarely cry these days, but I still do on days like this one. Thinking about how happy & excited we were 10 years ago, looking forward to a baby and a new family life together. And 10 years later, the reality: dh & me, alone, standing together in front of a niche in the cemetery. He likes to trace the letters of her name, while I always tickle the belly of the teddy bear that's engraved on the plaque with my finger.

Today he took me to a few of the scrapbook stores in the area. All the clerks remarked to me how quiet the day had been (I kind of figured it would be). We stopped at Tim Hortons for bagels & coffee/tea for lunch, & then came home, where he made me spaghetti (one of my favourites) for dinner.

And I called my mom.

Today would have been my Grandma's 94th birthday. She passed away in October 1989 at age 85. I still miss her & my Grandpa so much. Another reason why today is sad for me.

My mom said my cousin's daughter (who is in her very early 20s) is expecting her second baby any day now (they know it's a girl). In fact, she tried calling both my cousin's & my uncle's houses today (the baby's grandparents' & great-grandparents ) & got no answer. "Wouldn't that be something if she was born on Grandma's birthday," she said. (Oh sure...!) Both my cousin's daughter & her first daughter (who is now about 2.5) look eerily like my sister & I did as children. I seem to remember writing about the first baby in a previous post, although I can't find it at the moment. That side of the family seems to be overflowing with fertility genes -- lots of "oops" pregnancies & young marriages (although my cousin's daughter isn't married to the father of her children, yet). Where was I when those genes were being passed out??

Had I had a second daughter, she was going to be named Amanda Claire -- Amanda for my great-grandmother, & Claire for my grandmother (whose name was Clara). I'm praying that this new baby doesn't get either of those names. Although they are probably too old fashioned for the parents anyway. ; ) Her older sister has a made-up name that is partly the mother's & partly the father's.

Here's to Monday...!!


  1. Hi Loribeth-
    I am glad your dh spoiled you. I got a little spoiled today too. I asked him why and he said I deserved it. You do too!
    Next year, I am going to have a tea party and invite any childless mother and motherless child. A real community of women.

  2. Glad you made it through another one of these days which shall not be named.

    I made it through the day relatively unscathed. Of course I didn't watch tv, listen to the radio, or go to any decent restaurants. There were families having their meals in the burrito place we went to for a 3 pm lunch, but none of them looked particularly happy.

    And the newspaper here got it right! Check out my blog entry for the day.

  3. Here's to you for getting through the day with grace and patience. I thought of you and your daughter today.

  4. Thinking of you today, LoriBeth.

    Your post really touches me.

  5. Amen! The day is almost over. And by not really leaving the house, we got through it!

  6. Phew! It's MONDAY. I don't say *that* too often.

    A very moving post, Loribeth. I was thinking about you on my plane ride home. I made a point of taking my own mother out for a special, indulgent lunch on Saturday and scheduled my flight in the middle of the day that shall not be named out of self protection. I had a few quiet, tearful moments as the immensity of what we'd been through came waving back over me. Sigh.

    It truly is a day to just "get through"...

  7. I'm glad you had a decent day. I've grown to hate that stupid made-up commercial "holiday". I'm sorry but if it doesn't come with a federally mandated day off, it's not a real holiday.

    And, I'm guessing I won't offend you by this but just in case, I don't mean to - but, yeah, those made-up names like you mentioned. They just irritate me. It also irritates me when people take a more traditional name and screw with the spelling thinking they're being cool when they're just bastardizing the name.

    My long time friend just had a baby in Feb. Of course - she gets a second and we IFers can't even get a first! Yeah, I'm not bitter. Anyway she named the kid Elise (at least that is what I'm used to for a "normal" spelling - looks like it sounds, right?) but they're spelling it something like Alyce? I'm not even sure if that's right. I just know my other friend (who is very intelligent) called it a "dumb-ass" spelling.

    Again, I'm glad you survived the fake commercial exclusive "holiday"

  8. You might have to trademark "Holiday which shall not be named." Bwah!

    sounds as though you passed the day as peacefully as possible, all things considered. Glad you were able to think of your mom and grandma -- I find it hard still to do even that.

    And I love the name Amanda. Here's to Monday.