Saturday, May 7, 2011

You-Know-What Day

How is Mother's Day like Lord Voldemort of the Harry Potter books & movies? When you're infertile &/or have lost a baby, it's "The Day That Shall Not Be Named."

Of course, it's pretty difficult to avoid. Everywhere you turn, in stores, on TV, in the newspapers, ads & articles singing the praises of motherhood & Mom (& finding the perfect gift for her, of course). We did go out for dinner tonight, but plan our usual strategy of avoidance tomorrow. Perhaps a movie, if we feel like it. AF has once again decided to keep me company on this weekend (how considerate of her -- not), so I will see how I feel.

I did get a wonderful gift just before this weekend. I recently reconnected with one of my good friends from high school on Facebook. We've drifted apart a bit over the years -- we exchange Christmas cards & have had a few brief visits over coffee, but rarely e-mail, so it's nice to reconnect with her on FB. She resisted its siren call for a long time, concerned about privacy & security, but finally caved (I suspect her new granddaughter -- yes, granddaughter -- might have something to do with it).

Anyway, we exchanged a couple of private messages & at the very end of one, she wrote:
"You and [your dh] were on my mind tonight. [My dh] and I were at a fundraiser for a Crisis Pregnancy Center. Their focus tonight was to honor women/couples who have lost a baby. One couple shared their story. It made me realize how much pain you must have gone through and the long journey to healing. Even now, your heart must long for her. You are in my prayers."

I was at work when I read this & it was all I could do to keep the tears from rolling down my face. It was probably the best gift I could have received just before You-Know-What Day, & I wrote back & told her so. Makes me think there might be hope for humanity yet. ; )

Mother's Day 2010

Pre-MDay 2009

Mother's Day 2009 (Baptism)

Mother's Day 2008

Pre-MDay 2008


  1. It's a hard day and I'll be thinking of you and remembering Katie.

  2. What an awesome and compassionate friend! And it's great to see that there are bits of empathy (however little there is for these type of situations) out in the world.

  3. Mother's Day doesn't usually bother me too much, but it does this year and FB isn't a friendly place today...


    On my gaming FB account, from a man I don't know other than he plays some of the same games that I do, and who doesn't know my situation, he had a wall posting that said:

    "Not everyone can be a mother, but all can mother, happy Mother's Day to all who nurture".

    The kindness and moments of brightness from strangers sometimes offer unexpected comfort. I'm thinking of you today, Loribeth.

    By the way, Thor is kind of fun, if you're looking for an escapism movie.

  4. A lovely note from your friend on this difficult day.

  5. Only you could come up with a Harry Potter reference! Cracks me up. Best way to deal is with humor sometimes.

    Hope you had a nice day, and that you could feel Katie beaming down on you like the sun.

  6. That act of kindness in acknowledging your pain was very compassionate. To have your journey be acknowledged is a special feeling.

  7. The Day that Shalt Not Be Named. I like that. I managed to avoid much of the commercialism this year, but my mother-in-law managed to destroy my almost cocky "I've-survived-Mother's-Day-this-year-attitude" I managed to maintain most of the day. I've blogged about it.

    Hope it went peacefully for you, and all here.