Monday, August 7, 2017

#MicroblogMondays: Hey 19...

I was never a huge Steely Dan fan, but one of their old songs ("Hey Nineteen") has been going through my head today -- because it was 19 years ago that I delivered my sweet silent baby girl. :(   The lyrics aren't exactly appropriate to the occasion -- they're about an older man trying to resist the charms of a much younger girl (!) -- but there's one line that keeps echoing in my head:  "I'm just growing old...."  (The fact that I know who Steely Dan is would attest to that, I suppose -- nevermind that my daughter could be 19 years old...!)

We just got back from visiting my parents last night, and I am still in that post-vacation fog. Plus Aunt Flo showed up after a 69-day respite (progress??!) -- so I was already tired and crabby, nevermind having to deal with today and its significance.

Then BIL picked us up at the airport last night &, en route home, suggested to dh that we (he, SIL, dh & I) should go visit FIL today (it's a long weekend here, so he & SIL were off work today).  And instead of saying, "Sorry, we already have other plans," dh said, "OK, we'll pick you up at 11 -- but before we go to Dad's, we have to go to the cemetery."


Now, this has always been a day for just the three of us -- him, me & Katie -- and I was simply not in the mood to share the day with others. I didn't feel like I could give in & have a good cry at the cemetery with other people around, if that's what I felt like doing. And I didn't appreciate being put on a schedule, on a day when I wanted to sleep in & take my time (since I am not moving too fast -- thank you (not), Aunt Flo...!).

I kept my mouth shut in the car but made my feelings known later when we were alone. Dh offered to go visit his dad with BIL by themselves today, and then take me to see Katie tomorrow. Ummmm, no. Today of all days, our daughter comes first. Then us second. Our families place a distant third. (Men, right??)

Pleading for forgiveness, he pointed out, "They ARE her aunt & uncle!"

And then he said, "Isn't it nice to know that someone else has been to the cemetery to visit her besides us?"

Well, he had me there.

So no, it wasn't the day I had planned or imagined. But we did have fun catching up with BIL & SIL, en route to the cemetery in the car. Afterwards, we had a nice lunch at a cozy little cafe nearby, and made some preliminary plans for a little autumn road trip for the four of us. And we made FIL very happy simply by showing up.

It turned out to be an OK day, on its own merits.

Kind of like the rest of my life, hmmmm??

You can find more of this week's #MicroblogMondays posts here


  1. There's just no script for dealing with life, is there. I associate songs with things they were never meant to be associated with, too. Music is mysterious in the way it touches us.

  2. First, ((((HUGS))))

    Second, Men!!!

    Third, I'm glad it was a nice day, and that you made your FIL happy, but sorry that the one day that is really for you and Katie wasn't what you had expected. Your last sentence kind of says it all.

    1. Mali said everything I was thinking, so I'll just add a +1 and pile on a few more hugs.

  3. Men indeed - although as you say, there is often some merit in their alternative perspective, even if we don't see it straight away.

    Thinking of you as you remember your Katie.

    Best wishes,


  4. Thinking of you (belatedly). Oh, men. I'm glad it worked out, but I'm sorry it couldn't be the day you were hoping for.