- The deluge of ads and marketing emails has begun. (eyeroll) Voldemort Day (That Day That Shall Not Be Mentioned) is still more than a month away... And we haven't even gotten past Easter yet...!
- In my inbox on Tuesday: "For Baby and Mom: Matching Sweaters." (Banana Republic)
- Wednesday: "Celebrate Mom -- Your Original Influencer" (Indigo/Chapters) and "Every Mom is Unique" (The Bay)
- Yes, it's the Easter long weekend. Dh & I have sometimes been left to our own devices on this holiday, but we're going to BIL & SIL's for Good Friday dinner tonight (fish), along with the nephews, their wives and the kids (Little Great-Nephew and Little Great-Niece). Chocolate has been purchased for Easter baskets for the little ones :) (well, for Little Great-Nephew, anyway...! -- along with other goodies). And we've bought a ham and the ingredients to make scalloped potatos like my mom's for our own Easter Sunday dinner (as well as an apple pie for dessert). In between, on Saturday, we're getting much-needed haircuts, bringing some springtime/Easter decorations to the cemetery for Katie's niche, and dropping by dh's aunt's condo. She's promised dh some traditional Italian Easter baked goodies like his mom used to make. :)
- A long but excellent article from The New Yorker: "Living in adoption's aftermath: Adoptees reckon with corruption in orphanages, hidden birth certificates, and the urge to search for their birth parents." Paywalls may kick in, but I was able to read this for free.
- I haven't had a hysterectomy, but there's a lot in this essay from the New Yorker that I could relate to. If fibroids, heavy periods and/or hysterectomy have been part of your story, you'll probably relate to. (The writer is childfree by choice, but nevertheless struggled with the loss of her uterus.)
- The setting is Australia, and the subject of the story is childfree vs childless, but there's still a lot of good, relevant stuff in this article about people without children forming their own social groups.
- Also from Australia: Donna Ward (whose book "She I Dare Not Name" is a wonderful read -- I reviewed it here) is speaking out about the social and financial disadvantages that older, single, childless women experience -- and research backs her up.
- From Chatelaine (Canadian women's magazine): "I Made The Difficult Choice Not To Have Children Because Of My Mental Illness." Subhead: "We considered children, but are still only a family of two. We’ve decided that’s a good thing. But sometimes I wonder if that’s enough. If I’m enough."
- Sara Petersen, who writes about "momfluencer" culture in the Substack newsletter "In Pursuit of Clean Countertops," examines the connections between puppies, post-partum depression and literary theory -- also some thoughts on Big Life Moments and how expectation doesn't always measure up to reality. Sample passage (boldfaced emphasis is the author's):
Girls and women are taught to prioritize and mold their lives around Big Life Moments from the jump. First Crush. First Period. First Heartbreak. First Sex. First Love. First Job. Marriage. Motherhood. Menopause. It makes sense to me that a person conditioned to make meaning from their lives by working towards Big Life Moments would also be uniquely prone to feeling hollow, disappointed, or even depressed when asked to experience those Big Life Moments in real time. Conversely, it’s difficult for me to even conceptualize a life that isn’t organized into a series of disparate milestones or chapters.
Oof. The hysterectomy essay did hit hard. I'm not sure if I'm glad or upset that I'm not the only one who feels that way. I wanted mine gone. I needed it gone for both my physical and mental health.
ReplyDeleteI can't absorb iron efficiently after having the weight loss surgery so the heavy bleeding from the fibroids and polyps was making me chronically anemic.
After the limbo of "Can we terminate Hannelore in time to prevent her suffering and save the lives of Elliott and Abigail?" coupled with the sense of foreboding I (correctly) had about abortion rights getting stripped, I needed to know that I absolutely, positively, would never have to face that again. Especially if/when I wouldn't have a choice next time and would have had to sit back helplessly and watch all three die.
Even knowing a hysterectomy was the best possible thing for me and it being over two years later I still get intrusive thoughts about somehow not being a proper woman anymore.
When I had my hysterectomy, I wondered if I would feel the same as the author of the article. I was prepared for it. But I did not. I felt only relief. It had never been any good to me, and I was pleased when it had gone. I didn't feel any different, except for a feeling of wonderful freedom and peace. Perhaps by not having children, I had already "done the work" of accepting that my uterus and its functions said nothing about me being a woman. It's really interesting the different perspectives we all have.
ReplyDeleteUgh to the Voldemort Day emails.
So much reading to do. Thanks for highlighting it. I hope I can do it all justice!